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Why Do Some Women Marry Losers?

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i have seen it too much. a good woman with a loser husband. today i was speaking to my elderly colleague about a girl who is engaged to this convict. he has anger problems and a failure in school. my colleague laughed and said "what does she see in him??" he thinks he is ugly too. she is a religious muslim with many good traits. she will have a terrible life with him.

its baffling. too many good muslim women with losers. why do some muslim women marry men who are losers, ugly or horrible people? is it cause these bad boys sweet talk them?

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Wow..Pretty shallow and judgemental about people you don't know very well.

no i do know him well! he has gone to prison and right now is always with lots of girls. he said she trusts him not to mess about with those ladies. he is no match for her. in their social circle there are lots of good strong guys. he got her by being friends with her and then proposed. he is a compulsive liar as well.

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no i do know him well! he has gone to prison and right now is always with lots of girls. he said she trusts him not to mess about with those ladies. he is no match for her. in their social circle there are lots of good strong guys. he got her by being friends with her and then proposed. he is a compulsive liar as well.

 

Can we stop with this drama lol. This isn't the site for that.

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a loser is not based on his kind of job or his looks or other materialism thing ... a loser is someone who has no faith in Allah

dont get me wrong. i only said looks because they have nothing else. i got no problem with good women marrying men who are decent but havent got the looks. if they at least had looks u could explain why they got married to a sinful player.

Can we stop with this drama lol. This isn't the site for that.

what drama? Edited by Work

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faridoon the guy takes narcotics, messes with women and went to prison for violence. i am not interested in this girl because i am too old. i am just worried about her future. i am an older man worried about her getting a beating. i want to tell her father. if you want to say he is better than me then good luck to you.

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This is one of those rant topics.. isn't it. With the rhetorical questions like "Why are Muslim girls such snobs" (pretty sure there was something like this not too long ago). It's not an actual question.

I believe it'd be a question if you asked, What can I do to help my friend who is marrying (somebody who I think is) a loser?

Oh alright, who am I kidding? This topic is just so much more catchier, dramatic and will inspire so many more responses.

Edited by l'Optimiste

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i have seen it too much. a good woman with a loser husband. today i was speaking to my elderly colleague about a girl who is engaged to this convict. he has anger problems and a failure in school. my colleague laughed and said "what does she see in him??" he thinks he is ugly too. she is a religious muslim with many good traits. she will have a terrible life with him.

its baffling. too many good muslim women with losers. why do some muslim women marry men who are losers, ugly or horrible people? is it cause these bad boys sweet talk them?

 

Honestly....you sound like one of the old aunties from our community....."Ayy hayyy tauba tauba pata nahi us larki ko kya hogaya"  

 

Seriousness though, you shouldn't worry about it. If the girl is marrying this person, I am sure she can and will do her own homework and ask around about the guy. You can tell a lot about a persons character when you get to know them. The way they talk, what they talk about, their interests. All of those things say alot about a person. 

 

So yeah nothing for you to worry about. :)

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Honestly....you sound like one of the old aunties from our community....."Ayy hayyy tauba tauba pata nahi us larki ko kya hogaya"

my god what a forum! some good replies then some unfriendly ones. bro why am i having to defend myself after every post??? she knows him. she knows he is a criminal and helps him out. didnt you read??? what ruq said makes sense. some you guys ...... lol. y respond if all you will do is attack?

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my god what a forum! some good replies then some unfriendly ones. bro why am i having to defend myself after every post??? she knows him. she knows he is a criminal and helps him out. didnt you read??? what ruq said makes sense. some you guys ...... lol. y respond if all you will do is attack?

 

Lool Akhi relax. :) I was just goofing off. Don't take my reply the wrong way at all.

 

I mean if she knows the guy, then iA she will make whichever decision is best for her sake. :)

 

I'm just saying, if the guy really is as bad as you were saying he is, the truth always comes out when getting to know such a person. 

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سم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 

 

103_1.png
Shakir
I swear by the time,

 

103_2.png
Shakir
Most surely man(mankind) is in loss,

 

103_3.png
Shakir

Except those who believe and do good, and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other patience.

 

(wasalam)

Edited by PureEthics

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Because let's face it, most men are losers, so they'll have to marry somebody.

Sad, but true.

Also, most women are romantic fools who think they can change/fix a man.

faridoon the guy takes narcotics, messes with women and went to prison for violence. i am not interested in this girl because i am too old. i am just worried about her future. i am an older man worried about her getting a beating. i want to tell her father. if you want to say he is better than me then good luck to you.

Tell her father. If you feel that any person is in danger and you can help them, you should,

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my god what a forum! some good replies then some unfriendly ones. bro why am i having to defend myself after every post??? she knows him. she knows he is a criminal and helps him out. didnt you read??? what ruq said makes sense. some you guys ...... lol. y respond if all you will do is attack?

 

So if she actually knows all of it, well then it is because she likes that sorta thing, and dig guys who do such a thing.

It was her choice, out of her free-will, so who cares then.

 

Good for her for getting what she likes, if she realizes it was wrong, maybe she can learn from it, such conclusions are to be reached by her only, you or anyone cannot force another worldview onto her, let her see it by her own experiences.

 

Anyways dude, it isn't right to backbite anyone, leave her as it is, her choice, let her live, you focus on yourself, plenty of fish in the sea just chose 'em wisely.

 

Frankly I would not chose anyone for me who digs criminals and those sort of people to be intimate with, be happy you saved yourself to be with someone better and more decent.

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Every human is a loser except the one who believes and does good deeds and enjoins justice and perseverance in establishing justice. That is what Surah al-'Asr teaches us right?

 

Repentance wipes out sins.

 

I measure a persons worth not by their status or possessions nor in their apparent religiosity but in their 

justice and kindness.

 

God is kind so we should be kind if we are godly. God is master of justice so we should be just if we are godly.

That is what Surah al-Fatihah teaches us right?

 

I have personally lent a sayyid 'alim $3000 and he only payed me back $2000 and then I gave him $700 to translate a book

and I told him I'd pay him another $700 when he completes it. He translated nothing.

It has been almost 10 years and he hasn't payed me. That makes him an unjust person, hence loser.

The same goes for another brother I lent over $2000 to, he appeared to be very religious but he didn't pay me back and it has also been almost 10 years.

 

Most so called religious people have very little amaanat. They are untrustworthy.

 

Their religiosity is only a farce to get status in the community, be it an online community.

 

Most people are obsessed with status and possessions (dunya) and that includes the so 

called religious folk. They seek religious status.

 

That being said, a lot of so called religious women are losers. They are so unjust and unkind to their husbands and you know it.

 

When it comes to religion most people are hypocrites. That is they claim to believe and to do good deeds but they are unjust and unkind. Isn't that what Surah al-Hadid says?

Edited by reformist

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faridoon the guy takes narcotics, messes with women and went to prison for violence. i am not interested in this girl because i am too old. i am just worried about her future. i am an older man worried about her getting a beating. i want to tell her father. if you want to say he is better than me then good luck to you.

oh forgive me then, I thought you were a young man jealous of someone, sorry.

 

2nd reason why I think the women is with him is because women now a days feel rebellious towards traditions, so she might be doing this, involuntarily, against traditions since tradition is that your parents pick a smart, rich, religious boy for the girl, but the west has a campaign to deviate traditional norms as a result most girls but also some Muslim girls feel like as if they have done a gigantic task by going against what society expects.

 

I would say don't worry about the girl, boys are violent against each other but we never hit girls, unless she drives the guy mad and he does it out of anger.

 

He messes with girls? he might change that once he is married and in love with his wife, people change, so give him some time. Also it wouldn't be appropriate of you to argue against their marriage and if the marriage doesn't happen, the boy will only get worse, and marriage is a good solution to many problems.

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faridoon the guy takes narcotics, messes with women and went to prison for violence. i am not interested in this girl because i am too old. i am just worried about her future. i am an older man worried about her getting a beating. i want to tell her father. if you want to say he is better than me then good luck to you.

 

Actually you're being a waste of a person right now, What business is it yours to interfere in anyone's personal lives? Are you her father? Her mother? She can marry a convicted serial killer for all she wants, her life, her decisions. So stop trying to poke your nose in other people's lives. You're no saint.

Edited by El Cid

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سم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 

 

103:1

to top

103_1.png

Shakir

I swear by the time,

 

103:2

to top

103_2.png

Shakir

Most surely man(mankind) is in loss,

 

103:3

to top

103_3.png

Shakir

Except those who believe and do good, and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other patience.

 

(wasalam)

Mankind means women and children. And what does 'at loss' mean? The Holy Qur'aan does refer to losers are those whom are doomed to Hell.

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Mankind means women and children.

 

إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

 

l-insāna - Means Mankind -the human race :  the totality of human beings.

 

 

 

And what does 'at loss' mean? The Holy Qur'aan does refer to losers are those whom are doomed to Hell.

 

If man does not believe in the oneness of Allah and accept the Holy Prophet and his Ahl ul Bayt as their mawla to give them on the right path shown by the religion of Allah, Islam, certainly he is in loss. If he is deprived of the pleasure of Allah on account of his rejection of that which has been stated above, he shall not obtain salvation which is the real loss.

 

(wasalam)

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Actually you're being a waste of a person right now, What business is it yours to interfere in anyone's personal lives? Are you her father? Her mother? She can marry a convicted serial killer for all she wants, her life, her decisions. So stop trying to poke your nose in other people's lives. You're no saint.

Actually it is his business, if you see a Muslim heading towards ruin it is wajib on you to alert him/her. I think you may be upset because we see use of narcotics as something bad.

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إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

 

l-insāna - Means Mankind -the human race :  the totality of human beings.

 

 

 

If man does not believe in the oneness of Allah and accept the Holy Prophet and his Ahl ul Bayt as their mawla to give them on the right path shown by the religion of Allah, Islam, certainly he is in loss. If he is deprived of the pleasure of Allah on account of his rejection of that which has been stated above, he shall not obtain salvation which is the real loss.

 

(wasalam)

Exactly. Thumbs up.

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Some people like people with alot of problems. They think they can fix there problems. Some stay because they feel or think they cant find anyone better,there afraid of being alone....

You can still see the errors in the relationship even if your in love, it's the fear of losing the one you like that holds these type of people back. Their comfortiable with what they have,searching for new person is hard.

Sweet words can be said by good and bad men,that is not the reason why peope hold on. What you or I view as a loser can be seen as a cool person for someone else.

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