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In the Name of God بسم الله

Would You

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NMNMNM

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If you started getting to know a girl, you began to like her, you were inclining towards a marriage proposal, what would your reaction be if she told you just a few months ago she'd successfully gotten through treatment for cancer... Would your opinion of her change - would you resent her for keeping this a secret?

 

Would you rather have known before growing feelings for her?

 

Which scenario do you think is best? 

 

Please answer honestly.

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Salam,

With all due respect brother, you cannot seriously ask for this kind of advice here, on an Internet forum.

Why don't you simply think about it twice, and realise that instead of calling her back to Him, Allah swt blessed her with cure so she can live on this earth, and probably become a spouse for some lucky guy to meet her and maybe complete his religion, and that guy may happen to be you ?

If this kind of thought didn't come to your mind, then maybe you don't like her enough and/or you don't deserve her.

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If you married a girl, you began to really love her, you cannot live a a life without her, what would your reaction be if she told you that she has  cancer... Would your opinion of her change - would you resent her?

 

Which scenario do you think is best? 

 

Please answer honestly.

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The way I see it there's no reason to resent her for keeping it a secret. Think about it - why would you tell someone you were starting to get to know, something that personal? (not to mention morbid)

The way I see it, when things got serious, she told you. She definitely told you before marriage. (Unless you think she hid it deliberately - this would usually be combined with other problems you would be having with her)

So to answer your question, I'd probably just admire her courage. We all have our list of dealbreakers in our heads somewhere, and 'should not be cancer survivor' didn't make it to mine.

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Well actually I'm a sister... Lol

Thanks for the honesty.

Would knowing from the offset be off putting?

Perhaps keeping it a secret until things get slightly serious could be better as if told too soon it could cloud some people's minds and thus they wouldn't be able to get to know the person themselves - beyond their previous illness... ?

If you think otherwise of course share your views here.

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If you started getting to know a girl, you began to like her, you were inclining towards a marriage proposal, what would your reaction be if she told you just a few months ago she'd successfully gotten through treatment for cancer... Would your opinion of her change - would you resent her for keeping this a secret?

 

Would you rather have known before growing feelings for her?

 

Which scenario do you think is best? 

 

Please answer honestly.

 

As long as a person is loving to my dear cat, and pets her, and feeds her, and takes her out, and makes her the center of her universe along with me, I am all aboard.

 

If she does not like my cat, then I will leave her stranded in the middle of a highway!

 

Priorities :)

Edited by GreyMatter
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If you started getting to know a girl, you began to like her, you were inclining towards a marriage proposal, what would your reaction be if she told you just a few months ago she'd successfully gotten through treatment for cancer... Would your opinion of her change - would you resent her for keeping this a secret?

 

Would you rather have known before growing feelings for her?

 

Which scenario do you think is best? 

 

Please answer honestly.

She doesn't have to tell you anything. You are nothing to her. You didn't even propose to her yet. Who the hell are you to resent her for anything? It is not her fault you grew feelings for her. The best scenario is to do her a favor and get lost.

You seem quite inconsiderate and narcissistic and that is my honest answer.

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No body knows if they will be alive tomorrow. Just get married and be happy, be it temporary marriage or even polygyny.

God has opened many paths of happiness for you. It is humans that try to close them. Be bold. Be brave. Experience life.

If a guy minds that you had cancer, he is not the right guy for you. You should be transparent about it because guilt kills joy.

Don't feel guilty about hiding. Be open.

May you live to be 100.

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