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SleepingStar

Fall In Love Pretty Easy.. :( Help.

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Salam alaykum brothers and sisters.

 

It´s hard for me to start this topic but i´ll try not to say too much! 

I´m a teenager girl and I have this habit of falling in love pretty easy without even knowing the "guy" and i hate it soo bad! :no: "Todays society" i really want to get away from this "habit" and recently i´m developing feelings for a guy which is not shia, he is sunni and I think about him all day and all night, I kind of love him soo much I want to marry him but I can´t see a future with him and me because it will cause problems. It´s just soo wrong and i can´t control myself. I need to become more religious and i need to know how? If someone could link some lectures it would be nice. I need a life change and I know that Ahlebayt/Islam is the way, I want to depend everything on Allah and just know that he is the one who will never dissapoint me.

 

Jazakk.

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Wa alaykum al salam sister.

 

Does this sunni guy know how you feel about him? I don't know if this will help, but try and look at it this way... if you were to hypothetically marry this guy then that means your kids would end up being sunni... not Shia. The world needs more followers of Ahlul Bayt (as) and ansar of Imam Mahdi (atf). Who is going to spread their teachings? Trust me it is very naive to think that you can change someone. 

 

As for your overall love problem... Ask yourself this. Is it really love? If it is then know that love is between two people, not just yourself. and that's if it is indeed love, which is highly doubtful because you seem to "fall in love" with someone different all the time. Just try to relax, trust Allah (swt), read Quran, think of each member of Ahlul Bayt (as) e.g. the worship of Imam Zainul Abideen (as) or the patience of Imam Kazim (as) imprisoned in the deepest dungeon. And most importantly that life is only temporary. Inshallah you will find a decent (shia) guy in your future, but not the way you are going about it now.

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Salam alaykum brothers and sisters.

 

It´s hard for me to start this topic but i´ll try not to say too much! 

I´m a teenager girl and I have this habit of falling in love pretty easy without even knowing the "guy" and i hate it soo bad! :no: "Todays society" i really want to get away from this "habit" and recently i´m developing feelings for a guy which is not shia, he is sunni and I think about him all day and all night, I kind of love him soo much I want to marry him but I can´t see a future with him and me because it will cause problems. It´s just soo wrong and i can´t control myself. I need to become more religious and i need to know how? If someone could link some lectures it would be nice. I need a life change and I know that Ahlebayt/Islam is the way, I want to depend everything on Allah and just know that he is the one who will never dissapoint me.

 

Jazakk.

 

From your descrption of your personaility and the kind of "love" you are into. This is not "love" you are feeling but infatuations with other people around you, You're a teenager it's only normal for these occurances to happen at your age. As for your turmoils, I suggest you wait, figure out more about yourself and grow up altogether. Then we can find you a proper groom when you are ready and of age. Religion might help in masquerading these problems, but that's just masking the root. Think and add more depth to yourself. In short, Here's to growing up.

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So what if he is Sunni? As long as he has no clue whatsoever about the whole sahaba thing then you are good to go. I have been thinking maybe Sunni men are a better bet than Sh'ia men as they want more than just temp marriage. Of course I am generalising here but they do seem more open to permanent nikah.

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So what if he is Sunni? As long as he has no clue whatsoever about the whole sahaba thing then you are good to go. I have been thinking maybe Sunni men are a better bet than Sh'ia men as they want more than just temp marriage. Of course I am generalising here but they do seem more open to permanent nikah.

You are talking about like 2% of shia men or even less. And then generalizing that sunni men are better then most shia men. Good.

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So what if he is Sunni? As long as he has no clue whatsoever about the whole sahaba thing then you are good to go. I have been thinking maybe Sunni men are a better bet than Sh'ia men as they want more than just temp marriage. Of course I am generalising here but they do seem more open to permanent nikah.

Why do you assume Shia men are focused on temporary Nikahs and aren't as open to permanent nikahs?

 

For the OP, if there is a danger of you being misled by him then you cannot marry him, if you can hold your ground and defend your belief then there's no problem.

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Why do you assume Shia men are focused on temporary Nikahs and aren't as open to permanent nikahs?

 

For the OP, if there is a danger of you being misled by him then you cannot marry him, if you can hold your ground and defend your belief then there's no problem.

 

:angel:  :angel:

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You are assuming things about me which aren't true, and you are using your assumptions to wrongly generalize all shia men in a bad way.

 

Does it really matter what she thinks? You know who you are and what you are. 

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It doesn't matter but I am doing this for her good, she might not be seeing her fault.

Salam,

You can educated a fool but you cant stop them from being a fool. Dont bother yourself,it clear she has some issues. You have done your part and the rest is up to the individual..

Op,stop talking to that person and try focus on something else. What your stating is not love. Find a negative point and focus on it,you know that their will be problems if you marry a sunni because most of them will do or say something that goes against your beleives. Him being a sunni is a negative and he may not even know you like him,try to not plan things in your mind without knowing the other persons thoughts. Try to focus on your studies or do something that takes your mind of it. I think that you like the idea of being in a relationship and being in love,so you fall fast because you want it.

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So what if he is Sunni? As long as he has no clue whatsoever about the whole sahaba thing then you are good to go. I have been thinking maybe Sunni men are a better bet than Sh'ia men as they want more than just temp marriage. Of course I am generalising here but they do seem more open to permanent nikah.

You seem new maam.

 

or maybe you are generalizing based on your little neighborhood.

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OP, don't worry about this 'falling in love thing', it happens to everyone, I myself thought I loved about 6 people when I was 15 to 19, not at the same time.

 

You can be attracted to them, you can like their personality, but at the end of the day you need to have a 3rd party choose for you since its your first time and you are blinded by love.

 

Eventually the people you think you love will lose grip on you and when you don't love them anymore; you will realize how misled you were: this is my experience anyway.

 

Your parents know whats best for you, better stick to them, they are your best hope and your best chance to a happy marriage.

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Salam alaykum brothers and sisters.

 

It´s hard for me to start this topic but i´ll try not to say too much! 

I´m a teenager girl and I have this habit of falling in love pretty easy without even knowing the "guy" and i hate it soo bad! :no: "Todays society" i really want to get away from this "habit" and recently i´m developing feelings for a guy which is not shia, he is sunni and I think about him all day and all night, I kind of love him soo much I want to marry him but I can´t see a future with him and me because it will cause problems. It´s just soo wrong and i can´t control myself. I need to become more religious and i need to know how? If someone could link some lectures it would be nice. I need a life change and I know that Ahlebayt/Islam is the way, I want to depend everything on Allah and just know that he is the one who will never dissapoint me.

 

Jazakk.

 

Μan that's nothing, for me it happens freaking every single day. Daily 5 times at least and most of them are way older than me and have kids and not even Muslim so...that sucks. :P 

You'll get used to it, it happens to everyone to a degree, and you're a teen so I can totally relate, crushes all over the place.

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So what if he is Sunni? As long as he has no clue whatsoever about the whole sahaba thing then you are good to go. I have been thinking maybe Sunni men are a better bet than Sh'ia men as they want more than just temp marriage. Of course I am generalising here but they do seem more open to permanent nikah.

 

SC Mods.... can you put an option to "dislike" a post please?

 

 

what about all those gulf arab perverts who hire  temporary "comfort brides"

 

or the 6 or 7 different types of "temporary" relationships "legalized" by egyptian muftis....

 

At least when Shia do Muta they are not trampling on Allah's rights and changing His rules.

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Infatuation is normal, especially for young people. You can even enjoy the feeling as long as you don't allow it to control your actions. Never make decisions based on emotion.

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Salams, yeah I have this problem too. I am in late 30s, and already divorced twice. One guy on facebook started writing me when my 2nd ex left me alone for 7 months for a job far away. So I talked to him haram several months...he lives in far away country and said he couldnt find wife since they want lots of money etc. And he is a grad student. Then my ex came back and after so long apart and also many other problems esp. His super hot temper and verbal/emotional abuse...so we divorced and after my iddat over the facebook guy asked me to do online mutah so out of lonliness and I fall in love so easily I agreed and now almost a month later I regret, he ignores me and barely ever calls or writes...I think hes immature and emotionally unstable. My first ex lied for 3 years that he did not have a muta with a christian lady when he did..then he insisted we divorce since I couldnt accept a co wife then he took our 2 kids far from me...and now I have a young kid from 2nd ex, struggling emotionally lots. How can I find good religious shia husband that will be real companion and help to me?? I am.losing hope and now I am weighed down with this sin of the facebook guy and how can I get out of online mutah with him? We never met in person since hes in a far away country. Please someone knowledeable and wise give me some advice how I can stop falling in love with lier bad guys claiming to be shia?? My Mom converted to shia Islam when I was a young kid so she raised me shia then later on she left Islam..but I loved it and stayed with it and I am only one in my whole family that is still muslim except only my kids...even my 2nd ex is from a religious shia family, after he came Usa first time he stopped practicing, stopped salats everything. I feel sooo emotionally upset, wounded and devastated, and I keep begging Allah and Imam Zamon, alayhi salam to help me. Anyone have any good advice?? Thanks so much, blessed Ramadan

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Salam alaykum brothers and sisters.

 

It´s hard for me to start this topic but i´ll try not to say too much! 

I´m a teenager girl and I have this habit of falling in love pretty easy without even knowing the "guy" and i hate it soo bad! :no: "Todays society" i really want to get away from this "habit" and recently i´m developing feelings for a guy which is not shia, he is sunni and I think about him all day and all night, I kind of love him soo much I want to marry him but I can´t see a future with him and me because it will cause problems. It´s just soo wrong and i can´t control myself. I need to become more religious and i need to know how? If someone could link some lectures it would be nice. I need a life change and I know that Ahlebayt/Islam is the way, I want to depend everything on Allah and just know that he is the one who will never dissapoint me.

 

Jazakk.

Dear Sister, I advise you to read the pinned threat at the top of this Forum titled "Youth and Relationships".

 

Fi Amanillah

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So what if he is Sunni? As long as he has no clue whatsoever about the whole sahaba thing then you are good to go. I have been thinking maybe Sunni men are a better bet than Sh'ia men as they want more than just temp marriage. Of course I am generalising here but they do seem more open to permanent nikah.

 

There are some comments and opinions on the net that are enough to admit people into a lunatic asylum without further thought, this comment surely seems to be the favourite to get the well-deserved Darwin's award. 

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Salam alaykum brothers and sisters.

 

It´s hard for me to start this topic but i´ll try not to say too much! 

I´m a teenager girl and I have this habit of falling in love pretty easy without even knowing the "guy" and i hate it soo bad! :no: "Todays society" i really want to get away from this "habit" and recently i´m developing feelings for a guy which is not shia, he is sunni and I think about him all day and all night, I kind of love him soo much I want to marry him but I can´t see a future with him and me because it will cause problems. It´s just soo wrong and i can´t control myself. I need to become more religious and i need to know how? If someone could link some lectures it would be nice. I need a life change and I know that Ahlebayt/Islam is the way, I want to depend everything on Allah and just know that he is the one who will never dissapoint me.

 

Jazakk.

salaam

 

you know the problem so you will get the solution as well.

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Infatuation is very normal and common among the teenagers and the youth. Just don't act on it (meaning don't do anything stupid). This infatuation will eventually pass. Since you are already aware of your problem then you should be better able to deal with it. The worse mistake you can possibly commit is thinking that these 'special feelings' are real and that you should commit yourself to someone.

Edited by Gypsy

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You're a teenager. You're too young to get married. Yes, I know--others have done it, even successfully, but it's still a bad idea. Focus on your education. Wait until you both grow into full adulthood, and know what you want from life.

 

Also, don't marry anyone before you get to know his character. (This should take at least a year.) Crushes (infatuations) are natural, but recognize them for what they are.

 

When the time is right, and you do meet a good man, then whether he is Sunni or Shi'a is not so important.

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