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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Khalilallah

Advice For Women From A Man's Point Of View

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This is from me, as a man I know men (generally) more than women:


 


just to point out to sisters what men are like and how covering yourself helps:


 


- as a guy I have realized and I have seen other people do this:


 


- if a man sees a women who wearing Islamic clothing, they stay away, this is good for you because most guys who approach girls has the 'final act' in his mind.


- wearing a hijab is like filtering the good from the bad, bad men approach girls who are revealing themselves because they are attracted to what their eyes see. good men, however, don't approach women to hit on them, they usually have something to say. 


- Not a single man will ever approach women with an honorable intention if he hasn't got some business. If you have parents then they are your gateway to marriage,  only a good man will ask for your hand from your parents, and they are the ones you can usually trust, but only if he is proposing out his own choice. 


- It is satans habit to tempt people, thus an evil man is he who approaches you and tempts you to accept his request, he will first look to convince you and then ask for your parents permission. In this way he hopes to use you against your parents, if you accept and your parents refuse, can you see the damage done here?


 


thus a good man is what you seek for marriage, the good man is he who will ask your parents first and then you.


 - this is because, a young girl can easily be deceived (So easy) even if they think they are smart, and cunning. parents however, especially the father, recognizes the mans worth and so he cannot be deceived.


-also an honorable man will firstly go to the father in order to see if the parents like him and if he is 'husband material'.


 


So protect your dignity by covering your body and hiding your figure, you don't need to show it because men (non-mahram) don't need to see it.


 


- if you only knew what a man imagines when he stares at the flesh of young girls, when he sees their figure, how he yearns to jump on her then you would realize how filthy most men are and you would not walk among them out of disgust.


- cover yourself and don't give them the pleasure of imaging sinful acts with you.


- cover yourself and keep yourself clean from the lustful staring of men.


- cover yourself and add value to yourself


- cover yourself and show that you are more than just a piece of walking flesh for men.


 


May Allah make you strong in your defense and know that satan lays ambush only on the straight path, all other paths are already his and he needs no effort to make stray those who are already lost, and those who are not on the straight path are an influence for satan against those on the right path.


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You are right but that mostly only applies to :Muslim men. Men have hit on me and I am :Hijabi. Granted, they were all non :Muslim. Worst part is that all except two approached me while I was trying to study at the library in loose, comfy clothes and no make up on... and my eyebrows weren't even done yo.

:Hijab is a must but it doesn't keep all the men away.

:Jazakallah for the dua tho :)

Edited by :Ruffles

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That was beautiful advice that I hope every girl, including myself will take. Most men, yes will flirt with girls who are not covered properly, but when it comes to marriage, they always choose to marry the one who is fully covered. Am I right, or am I right ? :) 

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Salaam

Good advice bro but isn't that stating the obvious?

Before you developed your sense of shame most girls your age had become baligh several years before you did.

Ask any sister and they can probably read your intentions better than you can conceal them.

Hijaab is no formula to keep evil away guaranteed but it certainly helps women feel constantly oogled at.

It cannot even help them against crime but deter uncalled for attention.

I absolutely disagree that hijaab is because there are filthy men out there. Had there been pious men only would then be ok for women to go out naked?

Hijaab is prevention not cure. One can wear hijaab and still invite men.

If you read both the verses of lowering the gaze you'll see that while men are commanded to just lower the gaze and guard modesty to attain purity the one for women highlights that women also have "inclination" to show their beauty and attract attention. So it's not that you can paint men black as devil and women innocent as a child

Allah knows what we conceal and what we reveal.

Ayah for your reference:

Holy Quran [24:31]

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.

Edited by insearchoflight

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That was beautiful advice that I hope every girl, including myself will take. Most men, yes will flirt with girls who are not covered properly, but when it comes to marriage, they always choose to marry the one who is fully covered. Am I right, or am I right ? :)

 

Good men do. Bad men don't. If you want a good man, cover yourself and he will be attracted to you for your modesty rather than the exposure of your beauty and will love you for life (Insha'Allah) rather than just till your looks begin to fade in like 10 years.

 

Imam Baqir (as): Men desire beauty in a woman but they admire modesty. Beauty fades but character stays. After a while the most beautiful woman looks average, but the pious increase in beauty each day.

 
Ayatollah Khomeini (ra): If women knew how men perceive them when they look at them, they would have covered themselves in iron armor.
Edited by Hazyn

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Learnt nothing new....

And no,not all men go after fully covered woman when they want to get married,some dont even want a hijabii..

the men who don't want hijabis, should a hijabi want them?

Salaam

Good advice bro but isn't that stating the obvious?

Before you developed your sense of shame most girls your age had become baligh several years before you did.

Ask any sister and they can probably read your intentions better than you can conceal them.

Hijaab is no formula to keep evil away guaranteed but it certainly helps women feel constantly oogled at.

It cannot even help them against crime but deter uncalled for attention.

I absolutely disagree that hijaab is because there are filthy men out there. Had there been pious men only would then be ok for women to go out naked?

Hijaab is prevention not cure. One can wear hijaab and still invite men.

If you read both the verses of lowering the gaze you'll see that while men are commanded to just lower the gaze and guard modesty to attain purity the one for women highlights that women also have "inclination" to show their beauty and attract attention. So it's not that you can paint men black as devil and women innocent as a child

Allah knows what we conceal and what we reveal.

Ayah for your reference:

Holy Quran [24:31]

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.

I know there are girls who are much more mature than me and I know they generally mature at an earlier stage, but I have also seen how vicious and tricky men can be, iblees is nothing compared to the satanic trickery of some men and sometimes men misuse the naivety and trust of a good women.

 

And btw I know women might know more than me and you might have learnt nothing new, but I am just making you aware of what most men are like.

Edited by Sayed Faridoon Taha

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the men who don't want hijabis, should a hijabi want them?

Your asking me questions like am 5 years old. Ofcourse,they shouldnt but believe it or not their are woman that take off the hijab just to get married. Hayz,not ever man that doesnt want a hijab is bad,infact they can be better then the so called relgious men.

If you boys/men want to give advice,give new information something I havent heard of,something no one knows well... Not the same old thing....

If a girl doesnt know what you stated then I would be worried about her....

And lets be honest here,even if woman covered from head to toe,some of you will find something too look at... Woman should cover for themself first and for god....

Edited by kim.tinkerbell

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(Bismillah)

W3salam, both my answer are correct.... Your thinking in this sector might be incorrect...

Every man that does not want a muhajjaba wife is deficient in spirituality and does not seek the pleasure of Allah.

(Wasalam)

Edited by Hazyn

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the good man is he who will ask your parents first and then you

This is true for most cases but not all. Especially when the guy knows nothing about the girls parents. He should at least take a hint from her before approaching them. Also for girls studying without their families in the west for example.. or for people who meet online.

If she knows the man I think it is better to inform her of his intention in proposing before doing so in front of the family. I've heard about many good men who asked the girl if she is intrested before visiting her parents. This saves a lot of time and effort.

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(Bismillah)

Every man that does not want a muhajjaba wife is deficient in spirituality and does not seek the pleasure of Allah.

(Wasalam)

You are right to some extent. But then you have cultures,where muslim woman dont wear hijab but wear lose clothes,in that case if a guy choose's to marry one of them,it doesnt mean he has no eman but rather that is what is norm for him and he does not want to inforce a rule on her,that she may rebal to or is not used to. Men that ask their wifes,to take off the hijab,they have displeased Allah the most. Woman shouldnt take the hijab off even if he threatens to divorce her,pleasing god comes first. Am not talking about situatuons where hijab can cause her threat but when some men randomly ask her to take it off.

May god strength those that wear it and not make them get affected by what's going on and may the one's that dont wear it,wear it when they are ready and under no pressure.

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That was beautiful advice that I hope every girl, including myself will take. Most men, yes will flirt with girls who are not covered properly, but when it comes to marriage, they always choose to marry the one who is fully covered. Am I right, or am I right ? :)

I cannot find a single man who cares about his daughter, wife or sister wearing hijab. Some boys probably talk about hijab in their teenage but when they enter practical life, they realize that a girl without hijab will help them make contacts and become successful in life while a hijabi is just a liability. Family honor and a man's ghairat are myths we believe in while growing up and one day we find out they don't exist. The fact is that men prefer women with "high market value".

Edited by Mokhtar2012

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I cannot find a single man who cares about his daughter, wife or sister wearing hijab. Some boys probably talk about hijab in their teenage but when they enter practical life, they realize that a girl without hijab will help them make contacts and become successful in life while a hijabi is just a liability. Family honor and a man's ghairat are myths we believe in while growing up and one day we find out they don't exist.

You must be from jamhooriat.

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I cannot find a single man who cares about his daughter, wife or sister wearing hijab. Some boys probably talk about hijab in their teenage but when they enter practical life, they realize that a girl without hijab will help them make contacts and become successful in life while a hijabi is just a liability. Family honor and a man's ghairat are myths we believe in while growing up and one day we find out they don't exist. The fact is that men prefer women with "high market value".

You are wrong, I always tell my sister to wear a hijab, I would be ashamed if my relatives or my friends saw her without it.

 

So you my friend are very wrong in assuming ghairat doesn't exist anymore, may be its the beghairat people around who have also made you beghairat. 

 

and I am guessing the 'market value' you have placed on women is based on their hips and face and legs?

 

Do you have no shame? Did your mother have "high market Value"? Does your sister? does your daughter?

 

Seriously, where is your sense of shame, get away from the people around you, they are your ruin. :angry: 

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- if you only knew what a man imagines when he stares at the flesh of young girls, when he sees their figure, how he yearns to jump on her then you would realize how filthy most men are and you would not walk among them out of disgust.

 

 

 

I agree with a lot of the points you mentioned, Sayed. You gave nice advice. But one thing I disagree with you on is the way you portray men - your post is basically implying that most men are savages who have no self control over over their thoughts. I don't think you give them enough credit. Most of the guys I know would be pretty offended if someone were to say that's how they think every time a woman comes near them. 

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I agree with a lot of the points you mentioned, Sayed. You gave nice advice. But one thing I disagree with you on is the way you portray men - your post is basically implying that most men are savages who have no self control over over their thoughts. I don't think you give them enough credit. Most of the guys I know would be pretty offended if someone were to say that's how they think every time a woman comes near them. 

 

That's right... you know i've had just about enough of men/guys being portrayed as villains, and perverts etc. Did you know that women are also guilty of gawking at and flirting with guys???? Hellooo, it happens all the time!

 

It has happened to me from both muslim and non muslim girls. In fact, women can be even more devious than men when it comes to flirting. One particular personal experience was a (hijabi) girl who led me on for months, supposedly for marriage. After finding out a bit more about her it turned out she had done this with countless guys before me and had no intention of marriage, in other words she was a proper "man-izer". And as for the many non muslim girls who have flirted with me when i know they already have boyfriends. Completely appalling and disgusting behavior from women to be honest. 

 

I also wonder which twisted psychopath feminist invented the "fact" that men think about sex every 6 or 7 seconds or something ridiculous like that?

 

People are so uneducated about these things.

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I agree with a lot of the points you mentioned, Sayed. You gave nice advice. But one thing I disagree with you on is the way you portray men - your post is basically implying that most men are savages who have no self control over over their thoughts. I don't think you give them enough credit. Most of the guys I know would be pretty offended if someone were to say that's how they think every time a woman comes near them. 

 

That's right... you know i've had just about enough of men/guys being portrayed as villains, and perverts etc. Did you know that women are also guilty of gawking at and flirting with guys???? Hellooo, it happens all the time!

 

It has happened to me from both muslim and non muslim girls. In fact, women can be even more devious than men when it comes to flirting. One particular personal experience was a (hijabi) girl who led me on for months, supposedly for marriage. After finding out a bit more about her it turned out she had done this with countless guys before me and had no intention of marriage, in other words she was a proper "man-izer". And as for the many non muslim girls who have flirted with me when i know they already have boyfriends. Completely appalling and disgusting behavior from women to be honest. 

 

I also wonder which twisted psychopath feminist invented the "fact" that men think about sex every 6 or 7 seconds or something ridiculous like that?

 

People are so uneducated about these things.

my advice applies to the men I have met who were evil, I know there are good men.

 

Why don't you two create a post on the brother's forum warning boys from being tricked by girls? :p

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That's right... you know i've had just about enough of men/guys being portrayed as villains, and perverts etc. Did you know that women are also guilty of gawking at and flirting with guys???? Hellooo, it happens all the time!

 

It has happened to me from both muslim and non muslim girls. In fact, women can be even more devious than men when it comes to flirting. One particular personal experience was a (hijabi) girl who led me on for months, supposedly for marriage. After finding out a bit more about her it turned out she had done this with countless guys before me and had no intention of marriage, in other words she was a proper "man-izer". And as for the many non muslim girls who have flirted with me when i know they already have boyfriends. Completely appalling and disgusting behavior from women to be honest. 

 

I also wonder which twisted psychopath feminist invented the "fact" that men think about sex every 6 or 7 seconds or something ridiculous like that?

 

People are so uneducated about these things.

 

Men and women are both prone to immorality in regards to sexual and romantic matters, although often in different ways.

 

And here you go... http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/thinksex.asp

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my advice applies to the men I have met who were evil, I know there are good men.

 

Why don't you two create a post on the brother's forum warning boys from being tricked by girls? :P

 

LOL imagine if i did... I would imagine that the brothers in the brothers forum would probably get excited at the idea that girls flirt with them.... Whereas girls would go into defense mode. 

 

 

Men and women are both prone to immorality in regards to sexual and romantic matters, although often in different ways.

 

And here you go... http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/thinksex.asp

 

That is true... women are more modest by nature but what that means is that they have to be more devious when it comes to flirting and attracting guys.

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I cannot find a single man who cares about his daughter, wife or sister wearing hijab. Some boys probably talk about hijab in their teenage but when they enter practical life, they realize that a girl without hijab will help them make contacts and become successful in life while a hijabi is just a liability. Family honor and a man's ghairat are myths we believe in while growing up and one day we find out they don't exist. The fact is that men prefer women with "high market value".

 

I have no idea what planet you're living on. The above is far from the truth. Also, any man who choses a non-Hijabi wife over a Hijabi is, as Br. Hazyn described, deficient in spirituality. So no, a religious individual wouldn't do such a thing yet alone marry for sake of 'becoming successful' and making 'contacts'. Because that's all that matters isn't it..?

 

YOLO as they say, right?

That is true... women are more modest by nature but what that means is that they have to be more devious when it comes to flirting and attracting guys.

 

I don't think women are more 'immodest by nature'. Rather, its in their fitra to try and look good and dress nicely and receive attention from their beauty. But Islam limits this to the husband who has dedicated his life to providing and caring for her in this world. The husband is therefore allowed to enjoy his wife's beauty whereas he isn't allowed to do the same with other women. Both men and women have different kinds of struggles (Jihad), perhaps like it is for you to lower your gaze, the women must struggle against her nafs in this regard too. 

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Why don't you two create a post on the brother's forum warning boys from being tricked by girls?  :P

 

I'm sure the guys would just love to hear that! If we were to make a post about girls hitting on guys or secretly thinking about them, I'm sure that would create more damage than benefit, especially with the amount of over inflated egos it would cause :P 

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I wear hijab because I believe it is obligatory, but I get hit on much more often and in much creepier ways or Arab men (sorry) staring without blinking in hijab.

 

One thing I don't understand is why Muslims do this. Most non Muslims see the hijab and get the impression that the wearer is "super religious" and "God-devoted" so they stay away. However, from the non Muslims that still flirt with you, you at least know what they expect of you. 

 

It's when a Muslim is hitting on another Muslim that makes me confused. It's always been Arab MUSLIM men who have hit on me as well (and I'm a hijabi). They shouldn't even be doing that in the first place considering the fact that they're Muslim, but the fact of the matter is that they are. And I don't understand why. They're hitting on a hijabi Muslim girl - they know the girl isn't going to flirt back or anything, so why do they do it to begin with? 

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I have no idea what planet you're living on. The above is far from the truth. Also, any man who choses a non-Hijabi wife over a Hijabi is, as Br. Hazyn described, deficient in spirituality. So no, a religious individual wouldn't do such a thing yet alone marry for sake of 'becoming successful' and making 'contacts'. Because that's all that matters isn't it..?

 

YOLO as they say, right?

When survival of the fittest is the rule, even the religious people change their views. I have seen it happening and I wanted to prepare her. Intention is important and girls should do hijab because Allah wants them to do it. I spent years being paranoid about family honor and it was frustrating to discover it doesn't exist.

and I am guessing the 'market value' you have placed on women is based on their hips and face and legs?

 

No there are many things, beauty with brains is important. Cooking skills, knowledge, salary, social skills, style and many things determine the market value but beauty and age are the most important factors. 

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One thing I don't understand is why Muslims do this. Most non Muslims see the hijab and get the impression that the wearer is "super religious" and "God-devoted" so they stay away. However, from the non Muslims that still flirt with you, you at least know what they expect of you. 

 

It's when a Muslim is hitting on another Muslim that makes me confused. It's always been Arab MUSLIM men who have hit on me as well (and I'm a hijabi). They shouldn't even be doing that in the first place considering the fact that they're Muslim, but the fact of the matter is that they are. And I don't understand why. They're hitting on a hijabi Muslim girl - they know the girl isn't going to flirt back or anything, so why do they do it to begin with? 

Ever heard of Munafiq (hypocrites)

 

When survival of the fittest is the rule, even the religious people change their views. I have seen it happening and I wanted to prepare her. Intention is important and girls should do hijab because Allah wants them to do it. I spent years being paranoid about family honor and it was frustrating to discover it doesn't exist.

No there are many things, beauty with brains is important. Cooking skills, knowledge, salary, social skills, style and many things determine the market value but beauty and age are the most important factors. 

Do you mean to say your family has no honor or do you mean that all the families in the world have no honor. 1st may be correct but 2nd definitely isn't.

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You are wrong, I always tell my sister to wear a hijab, I would be ashamed if my relatives or my friends saw her without it.

 

So you my friend are very wrong in assuming ghairat doesn't exist anymore, may be its the beghairat people around who have also made you beghairat. 

 

and I am guessing the 'market value' you have placed on women is based on their hips and face and legs?

 

Do you have no shame? Did your mother have "high market Value"? Does your sister? does your daughter?

 

Seriously, where is your sense of shame, get away from the people around you, they are your ruin. :angry: 

You are wrong, I always tell my sister to wear a hijab, I would be ashamed if my relatives or my friends saw her without it.

 

It seems that it its more important how your relatives would react, then the punishment of Allah (not wearing a hijab. Not only cover the hair, is a sin).

If your family wouldnt care about your sister hijab, is it better then? Because there is noe "shame" then.

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