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In the Name of God بسم الله

Effects Of End Times On Our Social Life.

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(salam) Akhi,

 

I've definitely seen this and experience it daily as well (living in the U.S. anyway), many Muslims don't seem to know what constitutes back biting and believe they aren't back biting if what you say of another person from behind could also be said in front of them. I've also seen instances of some who would back bite toward certain people but refrain from others... Whatever that means.

 

You'll just have to keep busy and hope for the best in finding someone who doesn't talk about derogatory or obscene subjects, yes it's difficult but possible. If not, you could always hang back like me and enjoy the solitude. :D

 

(wasalam)

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Is it just me or has anyone else feeling this way as well?

 

- Marriage has become really hard for me, and Zina has become really easy. I've looked around for marriages, spent money, told parents, done everything, found potential mutah but in the end its probably all a failure, on the other hand, I asked a girl out and it was extremely easy and she said yes, but I called it off later so we are just friends (thank god).

 

- At gatherings, the only subjects that's are interesting to most people there are back biting, or laughing at other people. try asking a serious question and you seem like a mood killer. Don't encourage back biting by not laughing and you are seen as boring. Sit among the young and all they talk about is sex, women, laugh at each other by calling each other names, animals, or hit each other.

 

- when we have guests or we are guests at someone else home, most people who sit there, are sitting from evening to midnight, I get up to pray and they all look ashamed but they don't get up, when I get up to pray it feels like as if I'm not supposed to, although they can't tell me not to pray they still go silent and stare with the corner of their eye.

 

It's like as if everything has turned upside down. I used to get called a loser at school because I didn't flirt with girls and didn't have a girl friend. I still don't know how to flirt, usually I help them if they need it and run.

 

Recently I saw something very disturbing, it was a Muslim girl in an extreme Islamic outfit making out with another Muslim guy in a very busy public area, they are both at my uni and I know they are not halal for each other. I felt like punching them both.

 

I tried fasting to keep lust off and it still didn't work, everyone is wearing clothing that is revealing, the whole point of clothing is to cover oneself but the clothing today hides the bad bits and makes attractive the good bits, to be honest women would look less attractive naked then in some of the clothing they wear. this is because if they were naked, everything would hang and look sloppy but the clothing makes those parts look 'full of life'.

 

these are just some of the things I can remember and explain, share your experience. I live in the UK btw, where all non-muslim women are on a mission to look seducing.

 

And give some advice to help me cope.

everything you said is true, but the way you describe the woman i think it shows you stare too long , and hence where your problem lies 

if you want fasting to work for you your going to have to replace one pain for another, and that is when you break your fast eat very very very little, maybe a spoonful only and the hunger will strip your thought of anything but food , you will be so hungry that you wil forget women, but it has to be genuine hunger not wants 

but anyway you dont have to fast you just need to learn to lower your gaze, as i said teh way you describe the woman in their clothes shows that you are looking waaaaaay too longer than you should be, that you notice such details as you described 

 

Edited by herenow477
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everything you said is true, but the way you describe the woman i think it shows you stare too long , and hence where your problem lies 

if you want fasting to work for you your going to have to replace one pain for another, and that is when you break your fast eat very very very little, maybe a spoonful only and the hunger will strip your thought of anything but food , you will be so hungry that you wil forget women, but it has to be genuine hunger not wants 

but anyway you dont have to fast you just need to learn to lower your gaze, as i said teh way you describe the woman in their clothes shows that you are looking waaaaaay too longer than you should be, that you notice such details as you described 

 

Well I go to uni and 80% of students are young female, I have to talk to them, so its hard to look at the floor and talk. and I don't stare too long, I just mind my own business, they are the ones walking in front of my view, as soon as I look up there's someone like that. I also have a good eye, I notice things much quicker than everyone else, its a gift. :shifty:

Edited by Sayed Faridoon Taha
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I am more worried about people becoming so mean. They have all these shows on tv about zombies and honestly most people look like zombies to me. I don't like going to the stores because I hate seeing people fighting with each other. I fear that one day these people will go on killing spree and start killing people. This is also apparent by the movies that we see. I watched heat, it was not funny at all, but it was so popular.

Edited by Mokhtar2012
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(bismillah)

 

(salam)

 

Well, I live in Switzerland, and here we have magazines that instruct you how to have an illicit affair and how to prevent your wife/husband from finding out.

 

At about ten in the evening, suddenly you have all that naked, moaning women on the screen advertising sex TV channels or phone numbers you can call to chat about sex...

 

We are daily bombarded by American movies and series, which no one watches if they are not full of explicit sex and violence...

 

I see young girls, maybe 12 or 13, walking around and gathering in public places late in the evening, dressed like Paris Hilton, their faces covered with make-up, and with the inevitable cigarette in the hand...

 

Where are their parents? Where are their families? Why are their churches empty and the bars and night clubs crowded with young people?

 

And the worst thing is, many of those boys and girls are the second-generation Muslims, children of the Muslim immigrants, but the only thing that is left of their Islam are their names... 

 

So Sami II, WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE KOALAS AND KANGAROOS? :cry:  

 

Amina

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What you describe is going on all over to one degree or another... even if it looks better in the  middle east, it is just more private. it's a sign of the end of times that things just keep getting worse and worse.

The people are a problem and i am completely alone and that's a headache too.

It's really hard to be alone but it is better than being around people who have forgotten Allah

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What you describe is going on all over to one degree or another... even if it looks better in the  middle east, it is just more private. it's a sign of the end of times that things just keep getting worse and worse.

The people are a problem and i am completely alone and that's a headache too.

It's really hard to be alone but it is better than being around people who have forgotten Allah

 

(bismillah)

 

(salam)

 

Well, I already live as a hermit for years now, but I do not deny that it is sometimes difficult and that I long for human company...

 

Presumably that is why I spend so much time in Shiachat... :mellow:

 

Kindest regards,

 

Amina

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(bismillah)

(salam) brothers and sisters

 

I have also had same feelings and experience. For example I want to get married and to make my story short I will give you my findings. It is extremely difficult to find shia girls who's accepting a shia man for marriage, because they are too demanding. Sunni girls on the other hand seems to be more open but sometimes they can be difficult too, but usually in arab countries girls are satisfied for simple things. In western countries arabs are too demanding, you have to have high education, lots of money, be at work and etc.

 

Of course man's duties is to support his family by providing livelihood, care, love, teaching islam and other things. I have been searching for many years now and still not found any :(. What comes to those matrimonial sites, they are really joke or this is what I have been experiencing. 

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- Marriage has become really hard for me, and Zina has become really easy.

You are very right about that. I am sure there are equal number of men and women in the world and there are many unmarried men. But sometimes, I feel like there was only one man left and I married him. I am supposed to share him with so many.

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Salam,

Zina and backbiting is always in the dunya,and it will never end. What you described is found everywhere, dont think that people that are in the east arint doing the same or seeing the same views... Wether their seeing it on the interent or not it preety much the same thing.... Some people at uni do wear islamic clothing and hug and check out people. Time has changed,less people have respect for themselfs. Some might be in halal relationships but some are not,their not even aware of whats halal or what can halal their relationship.

It seems like some people cant funcation without being in a relationship... Their are some girls that jump from one relationship to another,thinking it's cool... I never understood the people that gave their number so fast,to a stranger...

People dont like hearing the truth,even if you ask a serious question,not everyone will answer it and people might avoid it because their scared of facing realty.

I wish I can fly,so that I can stay in the sky...

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I truely understand you. 

 

I face problems myself, and even my beard may  be ridiculed by pepole (a person said that I should shave it). 

 

If you have a serious lust, then you have to do mutah. Find a girl, ask her, and see what she replies. Your lust can lead you to zinah or something haram. 

Edited by Ali-F
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I see all of what you guys mentioned as well and it breaks my heart day by day to see how corrupt and twisted our societies are becoming. I found an article yesterday that truly shocked me about "10 reasons why it's totally fine to never get married" IT TRULY SHOCKS ME to read what some people actually think of marriage, if you wanna get shocked you can read the non-sense here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/14/reasons-not-to-get-married_n_5274911.html

 

In short, some people think that marriage is an OUTDATED INSTITUTION and that being in a civil union is WAY BETTER............Who can tell me what is the difference between a marriage and living together under the same roof and have a family and they call it civil union? Anyway those things truly make me mad, I can't stand how society is shifting into ridiculous mentalities and how they are deviating from human nature, it makes me as mad as the people that try to convince society that being gay is NORMAL. I respect everybody but please don't come try wash my brain telling me that NOW natural things like marriage and being straight are becoming outdated and that otherwise is normal.

 

Anyway goodluck to you all inshAllah in finding a good spouse. 

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I don't get it.  Good guys saying they can't find good girls and vice versa.  We are all here!  What's stopping us from us all hooking up?  Is everyone here really so lonely?  Does anybody here have any friends?  I guess if we did, we wouldn't be here. 

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 "At gatherings, the only subjects that's are interesting to most people there are back biting, or laughing at other people. try asking a serious question and you seem like a mood killer. Don't encourage back biting by not laughing and you are seen as boring. Sit among the young and all they talk about is sex, women, laugh at each other by calling each other names, animals, or hit each other."
I think this has always been the case

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How do you know they are not halal for each other?  What if they are in mutah?  And don't say "they are Sunni..."  Believe it or not, many Sunnis do indeed practice mutah.

they were Pakistani, the girl was 18 and small and never married before, the guy was the type with spiked hair and tight shirts, I doubt he would be bothered to do mutah.

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(bismillah)

 

(salam)

 

Speaking of the End of time, being brainwashed, shifting morals and things like that, I hope some of you living somewhere in Europe have seen the winner of the last Eurovision song contest.

 

It was the bearded lady from Austria, with the artistic pseudonym Sausage. (Wurst, for German speakers.)

 

Actually, a man with a full beard, a ton of eye make up and a very tight evening dress. Oh, and I forgot the wig.

 

If you think (not to mention making a huge mistake and whispering it to someone) that it is unusual, or that it is not absolutely wonderful, tolerant and progressive in every possible way, then you are not trendy, you are a chauvinist and a totally outdated and terrible person. And if someone discovers that you are a Muslim, then woe to you... 

 

Lady Sausage got standing ovations after her/his (mediocre) performance, I saw it in the news the next day, and now we are all happy. 

 

I try to be a loving, understanding and moral person, but sometimes I wish I lived 1400 years ago. Things were much clearer then. And easier.

 

Kindest regards,

 

Amina

Edited by Amina
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(bismillah)

 

(salam)

 

Speaking of the End of time, being brainwashed, shifting morals and things like that, I hope some of you living somewhere in Europe have seen the winner of the last Eurovision song contest.

 

It was the bearded lady from Austria, with the artistic pseudonym Sausage. (Wurst, for German speakers.)

 

Actually, a man with a full beard, a ton of eye make up and a very tight evening dress. Oh, and I forgot the wig.

 

If you think (not to mention making a huge mistake and whispering it to someone) that it is unusual, or that it is not absolutely wonderful, tolerant and progressive in every possible way, then you are not trendy, you are a chauvinist and a totally outdated and terrible person. And if someone discovers that you are a Muslim, then woe to you... 

 

Lady Sausage got standing ovations after her/his (mediocre) performance, I saw it in the news the next day, and now we are all happy. 

 

I try to be a loving, understanding and moral person, but sometimes I wish I lived 1400 years ago. Things were much clearer then. And easier.

 

Kindest regards,

 

Amina

If God knew that you could tolerate life 1400 years ago, thats exactly where you would have been 

However that is not the case, the best environment for you is now, and if you keep complaining then that is exactly why life isnt getting better 

If you take that complaining energy and turn it into something positive, you wouldnt be so boring to yourself 

We live in a time where the world stage is offered to anyone, nop discrimination, you can create an amazing youtube video and get the world attention

you can learn sciences and discover new things, you can hel so many people because there is so many in need , and stop focusing on what you dont have, and instead focus on what you have 

start a website , open a shop, go and exercise, become a chef, write a book , learn an instrument, learn a software like adobe Photoshop, learn a programming language and make a game   the possibilities are endless 

the only thing you lack is motivation, direction and aspiration 

its pathetic when people in todays day and age and with the extensive resources available tot hem, that they cant fin something to fill their time with and goals, you can do so much for ahlul bayt and Islam and God if you stop looking at what you dont have and stop focusing on your self and on others mistakes and problems

stop trying to live in the past , its pathetic 

go learn flash and create animations about Ahlul Bayt , go learn Photoshop and create pictures of Ahlul Bayt, go learn an instrument and create songs about Ahlul Bayt 

all that whining is pathetic  

Edited by Muhammed Ali
Goodbye yukapuka. Try to be nicer to other people :-)
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(bismillah)

 

(salam) brother herenow477,

 

It was rather a rhetorical sentence with a sarcastic undertone, whose point was to make it clear that, in the times past, people seemed to be happier and more at ease with the gender and the roles that Allah te'ala assigned to them at birth...

 

But since you bothered enough to make my complete psychological profile out of one ironical sentence, I'll immediately stop "whining and being pathetic" and start working on my sense of humor, to make it more obvious and less sarcastic! :mellow:  

 

Actually, I am starting a huge project these days, have great hopes and work day and night to make it work, so please remember me in your prayers.

 

Kindest regards,

 

Amina

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all that whining is pathetic  

its not that we complain all the time, we thank god always but there is no point in posting it online, so online, you will only see the negative side, besides this forum is about finding people who are also suffering like others, its not about saying "oh life is so pointless".

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Why this thread made me ROFL multiple times, I wonder :D

 

But in any case, OP, focus on what you do and don't fret over what others are doing. Your actions and attitudes should be the drawing line between your behaviour and the behaviuour you are criticising; talking endlessly to others about how the world is a rotten place etc won't win you their admiration, it will only bring you their ire.

 

The less you say the better and the more you do the better.

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:D

@Taha: How dare you? If you saw a brother with a sister making out why did you assume that they were sinning in public? Did you hate them? I bet you did! Instead of hating, YOU SHOULD HAVE LIT CANDLES AND INCENSE AROUND THEM U ANTISOCIAL FANATIC.

 

When at parties we speak about others it is not backbiting. It is catharsis. It is negative humility. Of course a youngling like you will not understand.

 

When you get up to pray in the middle of a gathering why do you assume no one else has or won't or doesn't pray? ALL YOUR FAULT.

 

And why are you complaining about sisters in islam. Making a duck face is HALAL. Taking injections around the eyebrows and lips to make them appear swollen and pretty is HALAL. Padded clothing is halal, YOU control YOUR gaze!

 

BRO PERHAPS YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO YOUR CAVEMAN CAVE IN AFGHANISTAN??? 

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Beware: Essay Ahead.

 

It is indeed a legit concern, I'll share my findings living here:

 

1) It is very interesting to me how views have gone upside down, I'll tell, I usually have two types of gatherings.

 

One is where the people are Canadians in their mid-thirties of Pakistani decent, all fathers and their conversation is hockey, Canadian affairs, and anything interesting that is to converse.

 

In other words, typical conversation white people would do in a gathering, minus anything potentially of haram nature ofcourse, yet when it is time for Salah, EVERYONE gets up, makes wudhu and pray.

 

After Salah, food is served which is usually Western food.

I mean, everything in the gathering from food to conversation to a game night, everything is extremely Western, yet they pray, talk and passionate about religion.

 

The other gathering is the boring typical Pakistani uncle gathering who migrated to Canada, and are still stuck in the Pakistan they left. All they talk is how bad the Pakistani situation is, how bad the Pakistani people are making the situation worse, propose what the government must do, basically a Geo-TV Talk Show, oh man, all boring, but when it is time for prayer, it is indeed a rare sight that they would pray!

 

Religious talk is there but actually not as insightful and in-depth than the Western gathering.

 

Interesting how it is the ones in the fully Western gathering actually take the initiative to pray, while these fully Pakistani uncles usually don't.

Even the religious conversation has more Pakistani culture mixed with religious affairs, it it a shocker often times when people find out certain things are just culture and NOT Islam.

 

 

2) The second point, I don't know how right I am here but it is freakin' IMPOSSIBLE to stay 'pure' in today's modern society. We all have basic desires, they come through no matter what, the testosterone has it's way to win.

 

No matter in East or West, we are so heavily bombarded by forces much more than the Stealth Bomber, everything is filled with scantily clad ladies, all posters, magazine, billboards, TV, ads, even on the post mail, not to mention malls and universities.. sure one can argue the celebrities are photoshopped and in heavy make-up, but those walking in the mall and those who are in the University are attractive - very, very attractive without a shadow of doubt.

 

Add to the fact that they are very easy to talk too, can carry great conversations and very charming when compared to a Muslim girl who has to pretend she is all shy and basically constraint her talk due to culture as Islam does allow [Halal] talk (let's face it, she is equally charming and she has been talking to guys as well, this isn't the 12th century; only socially awkward ones are so pure that they have not talked to the opposing gender.. but socially awkward ones are not always the most appealing)

 

 

I remember in the Juma Sermon of my campus which is filled with 150-200 students, the khateeb who is a fellow student and delivers great sermon was talking how Allah watches over us and forgives our doings, great examples and reasons were given, one was how Allah even watches us should we do a certain deed in the night with our cell phone when everyone else is sleeping.

 

At that instant I quickly did a 180 glance of the room, and I kid you not, I saw heads go down or shake in dismay - ashamed at that very moment.

 

And these were guys who frequent the Salah room of the campus, good brothers, shows how it is highly impossible to contain with everything around.

Sure we must strive, but the forces against can get too strong, especially the environment.

 

3) I must add I also do not see Muslim societies high on the ethics and morality scale, it is usually the non-Muslims following rules, doing much charity ..etc

I see Muslims born in the West, especially 2nd or 3rd generation Muslims on a much higher ethical and moral scale than migrated Muslims to the West.

 

These were three (maybe random) pointers that I have noticed in my world view, these are huge factors that alienate fellow Muslims from their societies.

 

But yes, I would not say the end times, but the affect of today's modern times have incredible affect on our social lives as Muslims, and the way our society is structured is too far removed from the times, it is having a hard time time in keeping up with it due to traditional values and what not.

 

It is not that the modern times are all Haram, Islam fits perfectly, it is universal, but due to certain traditional factors, our social lives are having a hard time in balancing the two, the society must be structured accordingly - something I am seeing Western-born Muslims actively doing for the better here.

Edited by GreyMatter
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  • Veteran Member

Beware: Essay Ahead.

 

It is indeed a legit concern, I'll share my findings living here:

 

1) It is very interesting to me how views have gone upside down, I'll tell, I usually have two types of gatherings.

 

One is where the people are Canadians in their mid-thirties of Pakistani decent, all fathers and their conversation is hockey, Canadian affairs, and anything interesting that is to converse.

 

In other words, typical conversation white people would do in a gathering, minus anything potentially of haram nature ofcourse, yet when it is time for Salah, EVERYONE gets up, makes wudhu and pray.

 

After Salah, food is served which is usually Western food.

I mean, everything in the gathering from food to conversation to a game night, everything is extremely Western, yet they pray, talk and passionate about religion.

 

The other gathering is the boring typical Pakistani uncle gathering who migrated to Canada, and are still stuck in the Pakistan they left. All they talk is how bad the Pakistani situation is, how bad the Pakistani people are making the situation worse, propose what the government must do, basically a Geo-TV Talk Show, oh man, all boring, but when it is time for prayer, it is indeed a rare sight that they would pray!

 

Religious talk is there but actually not as insightful and in-depth than the Western gathering.

 

Interesting how it is the ones in the fully Western gathering actually take the initiative to pray, while these fully Pakistani uncles usually don't.

Even the religious conversation has more Pakistani culture mixed with religious affairs, it it a shocker often times when people find out certain things are just culture and NOT Islam.

 

Interesting. My experience with Pakistanis in UK was the opposite. The new types stuck in Pak affairs were the ones who prayed and fasted more and usually flaunted their religion with the same verve as they did back home, including all the holy talk. Those who have been long in the country or were born there weren't very particular on religious talk and wanted to talk about local affairs....some of them prayed, some didn't, most didn't.

Yeah, the end times. Unmarried, frustrated, aimless youth clouded with vice, idleness, and confusion is just HILARIOUS.

 

No, no. What's hilarious is their constant whingeing. They need to go out into the wild and seek solutions to their problems. Online will only compound their problems.

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No, no. What's hilarious is their constant whingeing. They need to go out into the wild and seek solutions to their problems. Online will only compound their problems.

 

Says the dude with 20,000 + posts.  You must have the most compounded problems of us all. 

Edited by magma
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Says the dude with 20,000 + posts.  You must have the most compounded problems of us all. 

 

Haha I have been here for a long time. But I am not whingeing about not having a love-interest, or fretting over people who have it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I think you are taking too much interest in what other people are doing with their lives. Learn to focus more on what you are doing and work towards something productive.

 

If you think you can't relate with your friends (because they are very shallow) then find friends than are not shallow. Where can you find these friends? Through volunteerism and charity work. Volunteer at hospital (at a terminal ill/cancer wing), soup kitchen or retirement community/old folks homes. When you start doing something worthwhile with your life then all the worthless thoughts and activities will lessen. 

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