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Marital Rape; A Husband's Right

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Abu Ja'far (as.) has said that, leave them alone in the sleeping places, means that man should turn away from her; and beat them, means hitting her with tooth brush- (Majma 'u'l-bayan)

Secondly, burying the girls started happening long before Abu Sufyan and Umar did it. It only ended once Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.w) stopped it. This has got nothing to do with beating, whoch is in the Holy Qur'an as shown by this hadith.

----

Thoughts?

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Abu Ja'far (as.) has said that, leave them alone in the sleeping places, means that man should turn away from her; and beat them, means hitting her with tooth brush- (Majma 'u'l-bayan)

Secondly, burying the girls started happening long before Abu Sufyan and Umar did it. It only ended once Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.w) stopped it. This has got nothing to do with beating, whoch is in the Holy Qur'an as shown by this hadith.

----

Thoughts?

 

Thank you brother. What is a toothbrush? Like what if I use a blade as a tooth brush, can I hit them with a blade? What are the circumstances, like can I hit them anytime or what? (evidence please) Also, I asked you to specifically bring me hadith on which shows any of our imams "hitting" their wives. I follow their sunnah.

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What is a toothbrush? I think you need to research the tootbrushes used way back 1400 years ago, and find out what they were made of.

Secondly, the Ayah tells you when you can hit. It tells you the steps one-by-one.

Thirdly, there is no hadith I can find that says an Imam hit his wife (maybe because their wives were obedient?), but atleast, according to the hadith, they say it is permissable. (Sunnah of the Holy Qur'an).

This is my last post brother, I will have to wait a while before I can repost. Thanks, Salam and Take Care.

;)

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The normative ruling of Shi'a law is that the beating must not be injurious and must not leave any mark. Even a light red mark is subject to diyya (blood-money). The miswaak is a specific kind of toothbrush. It is made out of light wood and it is often used as a toothpick. Having seen those myself, they are not much heavier than a piece of paper. A 5 year old would probably laugh if hit in such a manner.  A blade may not be permissible.

 

The Imams and more importantly the Qur'an allowed wife beating as a punishment for a wife's refusal for sex and it is irrelevant whether or not the Imams did it themselves. Maybe they never had to? Maybe their wives never refused sex? We don't have strong evidence that the Imams practiced mut'a, but they certainly allowed it.

 

Remember that a wife's refusal of sex is a serious crime in the Shari'a. It is a crime against Allah and the ummah and only secondly a crime against the husband. The husband's punishment of the wife is not a husband's punishment of the wife per se, but a punishment of Allah that is delegated to the husband specifically because public punishment for issues of intimacy would be immodest. In other words, the husband is made responsible by Allah for applying the principle of nahi 'an al-munkar (forbidding evil) and the he must not hit her as an act of revenge or anger but primarily as a means for establishing the hukm of Allah.

 

That said, this is a crime against Allah and the ummah because the wife's refusal for sex might lead the husband to commit haram acts like staring at other women, or at worse it might increase the chances of zina. Zina is a heinous crime and a wife's refusal of sex makes her an accessory to this crime although the husband still bears full responsibility for whatever he does regardless. Zina is a crime against the ummah as it sullies the spiritual integrity of the holy community. 

 

Regardless, if a man does not meet his responsibilities and is Nashiz he is to be lashed by a judge if he does not heed an initial warning. So the husband's punishment in this regard is much worse than being struck with a toothpick or light slap. If anyone should be complaining, at least against the theory, it's men and not women. 

 

Thank you brother. Im sorry I made you post such a extensive response. I wanted people to fully understand this concept before they make any excuse to go about their evil ways in the "name of islam".

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Hijj, you have no right to warn me. Nothing I said was abuisive. Am glad you mods are only judgers for a site, because your judgment was plain wrong. It's okay to talk negatively about feminists but its not okay to say some of them do sound like rapists? What exactly do you call a person that justifies material rape? A loving husband? You know,it's pointless to speak to some of you men about this issue, you bring forth your rights and element her rights. May the all mighty Allah, give the woman that have be oppressed by their men get their rights back,because it is a mans world out there and even the rights god has given us some of you have taken them way because you have more authority and you can even get fake fatwas to do what you like...

As for the tougue twisiting snake and his followers they should not expecate an apology from me and no am not forgivening no one.

Sir,jebreil, having intercourse with a person without taking their consent follows under rape and is a crime. "I need you",doesnt mean he can hit and brusie her, to show his masculinity. Where talking about material rape, that many of you are denying it's existence.

Bye

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Marital rape is when a woman gains a house, car, clothing, food and medical care from a man for life for 15 minutes of conjugal work every other day.

 

The simple solution is to clearly specify what rights and responsibilities each of you have in the marriage BEFORE getting married and put it in writing.

 

If a man says, "I will have sex with you any time I want unless you have a valid excuse" and if she agrees, he can "rape" her almost any time he pleases but if she disagrees to the condition and she instead says "no sex unless I consent" he can't rape her ever.

 

This simple formula applies to even spousal corporal punishment. If he proposes that I get to spank you when you misbehave and she consents, he can spank her and if she refuses and says "no hitting me no matter what otherwise no marriage" and he agrees, he can never spank her.

 

The formula is that everything must be consensual so put your conditions and specify your rights and responsibilities in your marriage contract.

If you want your wife to work and pay half the bills put it in writing. It is allowed. The default conditions were for social conditions 1400 years ago. Society has changed a lot since then.

If you want him to do half the household chores put it in writing.

The best way to insure a happy marriage is to communicate your expectations of each other and put it in writing.

http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235021793-conditions-you-put-in-your-marriage-contract/

Edited by followthetruth

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Marital rape is when a woman gains a house, car, clothing, food and medical care from a man for life for 15 minutes of conjugal work every other day.

 

  

With respect, I am really confused as to why men, who think like this, would want to get married. If that is how you (or the poster before - cant remember who - used the metaphor of vending machines to describe a woman's role) view nikah, would it not be better off sticking to mutah.  Why would you want to enter into a permanent agreement that is so lacking in compassion and love and so rife with hostility and bitterness? Get your 15 minutes in mutah, with a consenting partner, and have a peaceful life.  No need to discard the vending machine (probably with kids).  It is halal and more honest as to your needs and intentions.

 

As for writing contracts - that is fine and a good idea - especially if you have doubts about intentions.  But when you start adding sex expectations (beyond that as outlined in Islam) corporal punishment and housework and financial outside income expected from your wife, etc., it is not very hopeful that you are going to find love and companionship - just a consenting worker.  But, maybe that is the point.

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Bismillah

 

I forgot to mention the subject of marital rape. Marital rape is not allowed in Shi'i law as far as I have read. In the classical texts, this is usually discussed under sections of withholding sex before the acquirement of mahr by the wife. Once penetration takes place, the wife is duty-bound to have intercourse with her husband. Now the question is, what if the husband rapes his wife (dakhala biha kurhan), can she still withhold sex until she receives the mahr? 

 

A dominant opinion is that she may still withhold it because the act of rape is not permissible and as such, an invalid (fasid) act may not having a binding effect (athar al-sahih).

 

 فلو دخل بها كرها فحق الامتناع بحاله، لأنه قبض فاسد فلا يترتب عليه أثر الصحيح

 

See Shahid al-Thani vol 3 p. 283 (kitab al-nikah, subsection nikah):

 

The dispute of course is about the repercussions of the act, but there seems to be a tacit agreement that rape is not allowed.

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Bismillah

 

I forgot to mention the subject of marital rape. Marital rape is not allowed in Shi'i law as far as I have read. In the classical texts, this is usually discussed under sections of withholding sex before the acquirement of mahr by the wife. Once penetration takes place, the wife is duty-bound to have intercourse with her husband. Now the question is, what if the husband rapes his wife (dakhala biha kurhan), can she still withhold sex until she receives the mahr? 

 

A dominant opinion is that she may still withhold it because the act of rape is not permissible and as such, an invalid (fasid) act may not having a binding effect (athar al-sahih).

 

 فلو دخل بها كرها فحق الامتناع بحاله، لأنه قبض فاسد فلا يترتب عليه أثر الصحيح

 

See Shahid al-Thani vol 3 p. 283 (kitab al-nikah, subsection nikah):

 

The dispute of course is about the repercussions of the act, but there seems to be a tacit agreement that rape is not allowed.

This is well known amongst shias (sunnis as well, with the exception of some hanafis ahem ahem), the thing is a lot of the extremist proponents of the concept see marital rape even in cases where the husband doesn't force his wife on the bed at all. Its really a non-issue, in a loving relationship each spouse will be willing to satisfy the other. If the wife really wants to be selfish and leave the man sexually deprived, she might as well head out the home and ask for a divorce from the qadi. Because there's no love in that marriage.

 

And khul' is meant to be preceded by disobedience, so a wife doesn't need permission to leave the house. Everybody wins.

Edited by Jahangiram

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I'm the one who mentioned vending machines.

 

would it not be better off sticking to mutah.

 

Let me ask you something. Wouldn't it be better if such women could take some responsibility, fix their heads and took a little care of their bread winning mules aka men, so that it never even comes to the point that their husband has to rape them out of frustration? What say you to that?

 

And how is a rape of the wife (lets suppose thats even practical, worth discussing and not a non-issue for the sake of it!) how is that the husband's fault alone? It is also the wife's fault. Also remember that I'm not talking about non-believing or secular wives here. If you're secular then please refrain from answering and ignore my post.

 

 

But when you start adding sex expectations (beyond that as outlined in Islam)

 

Excuse me? Do you even know what Islam prescribes regarding the matter? Please go back a few pages and read all the ahadith. The wife can not deny their husband. Sure the husband will not bother her and will tolerate a hell lot more than you women would tolerate him when one falls sick or has some other genuine problem. But what we are discussing here is the rape of a wife by a husband. What I am saying now is that how and why can a muslim woman let it come to that in the first place. Obviously she denies him too much, thats why.

 

And again, this is actually a impractical and a non-issue in real life and I've never heard of a wife who got raped by her husband. (<---- Therefore, timkinrell please control yourself and keep it civil, thank you.)

 

 

 

it is not very hopeful that you are going to find love and companionship

 

To the gallows with such false love, compassion and companionship that exists in the clouds and not in reality if a woman frustrates her husband to the point that he has to do something unthinkable like that.

 

 

 

No need to discard the vending machine (probably with kids)

 

Kids!? Why, how cruel of me to forget about them. Irresponsible and bad wives always hide behind and use kids. Always. Oh, he'll have to think of the kids! Hah! Well guess what, when a break up happens as a result of her failure and inadequacy, or even when the thought first crosses her mind that she can do as she pleases because the husband will think of his kids, the wife is also exactly half responsible for the consequences the kids will have to face. Tough luck. She should have thought of that and not taken his power of will for granted when she started using kids as her shield. Obviously she doesn't care about their future.

 

But wait, what is this love and companionship and complete disobedience irrationality any way? Its disturbing. If I wanted companionship, for instance, then I would have bought myself pets. In fact I have always found myself contended with pets. I also have great, stalwart friends. Why the heck would a man get into a relationship with a woman seeking a weird and illusive empty 'companionship'. To give her a ride to the shopping mall, show her around and let her rob him blind, I suppose?

 

And what is that thing called 'love' that you speak of? I think not mutilating him and letting him feed her and spend every dime on her and her kids is the definition of love to you? Or, where is the love? Strange. May be I am crazy. I would love to be actually proved wrong. It would be amusing if nothing else.

 

Edit: Edited for more coherence.

Edited by Darth Vader

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I'm the one who mentioned vending machines.

 

 

Let me ask you something. Wouldn't it be better if such women could take some responsibility, fix their heads and took a little care of their bread winning mules aka men, so that it never even comes to the point that their husband has to rape them out of frustration? What say you to that?

 

And how is a rape of the wife (lets suppose thats even practical, worth discussing and not a non-issue for the sake of it!) how is that the husband's fault alone? It is also the wife's fault. Also remember that I'm not talking about non-believing or secular wives here. If you're secular then please refrain from answering and ignore my post.

 

 

 

Excuse me? Do you even know what Islam prescribes regarding the matter? Please go back a few pages and read all the ahadith. The wife can not deny their husband. Sure the husband will not bother her and will tolerate a hell lot more than you women would tolerate him when one falls sick or has some other genuine problem. But what we are discussing here is the rape of a wife by a husband. What I am saying now is that how and why can a muslim woman let it come to that in the first place. Obviously she denies him too much, thats why.

 

And again, this is actually a impractical and a non-issue in real life and I've never heard of a wife who got raped by her husband. (<---- Therefore, timkinrell please control yourself and keep it civil, thank you.)

 

 

 

 

To the gallows with such false love, compassion and companionship that exists in the clouds and not in reality if a woman frustrates her husband to the point that he has to do something unthinkable like that.

 

 

 

 

Kids!? Why, how cruel of me to forget about them. Irresponsible and bad wives always hide behind and use kids. Always. Oh, he'll have to think of the kids! Hah! Well guess what, when a break up happens as a result of her failure and inadequacy, or even when the thought first crosses her mind that she can do as she pleases because the husband will think of his kids, the wife is also exactly half responsible for the consequences the kids will have to face. Tough luck. She should have thought of that and not taken his power of will for granted when she started using kids as her shield. Obviously she doesn't care about their future.

 

But wait, what is this love and companionship and complete disobedience irrationality any way? Its disturbing. If I wanted companionship, for instance, then I would have bought myself pets. In fact I have always found myself contended with pets. I also have great, stalwart friends. Why the heck would a man get into a relationship with a woman seeking a weird and illusive empty 'companionship'. To give her a ride to the shopping mall, show her around and let her rob him blind, I suppose?

 

And what is that thing called 'love' that you speak of? I think not mutilating him and letting him feed her and spend every dime on her and her kids is the definition of love to you? Or, where is the love? Strange. May be I am crazy. I would love to be actually proved wrong. It would be amusing if nothing else.

 

Edit: Edited for more coherence.

 

If your marriage is in good shape and there is mutual regard and trust and hopefully love – hesitancy for intimacy would not be an issue for either the husband or the wife. Forcing himself without both of them working on fixing what is wrong, is only going to lead to bigger problems.

 

Yes, I am aware of Islamic guidelines to the wife not denying sex, but that is within the context of other Islamic guidelines, and treating your wife with compassion and esteem is one of them and the husband’s duty to fulfill her sexual needs is another. Women are not machines – vending or any other type. 

 

When you find a woman you respect and care for and who respects and cares for you – and inshallah you do, perhaps your perspective will change.

 

_____________

 

Also, most women earn money (or have family money) nowadays in someway so that should not be such a big issue in marriages - or perhaps more in the future this will take off some of the pressure off men trying to financially provide for their families.  This seems to cause a lot of stress.

 

­­­­_____________

 

The idea of rape has been minimized throughout some of these posts. Rape is a violent act born of blind anger and aggression, not because someone wants sexual intimacy – the two acts are polar opposites. It is because someone wants power over another.  Marital rape is usually part of a domestic assault – an ugly part.

Edited by Maryaam

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Is Darth Vader even a woman?
 

"Oh, she shouldn't have let him rape her. She shouldn't have let it come to that. She was asking for it."

 

is analogous to: 

"Oh, she shouldn't have worn that clothing. She shouldn't have let it come to that. She was asking for the rape."

Some days, I really wonder if people ever actually examine their own views when it comes to these hot-button issues. It seems like their emotions just flare up, they close their eyes and ears, and start listing their valuable feelings and quoting their favorite hadith. 

And then we have this nonsense about how marital rape NEVER HAPPENS. My lord.

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Is Darth Vader even a woman?

 

"Oh, she shouldn't have let him rape her. She shouldn't have let it come to that. She was asking for it."

 

is analogous to: 

"Oh, she shouldn't have worn that clothing. She shouldn't have let it come to that. She was asking for the rape."

Some days, I really wonder if people ever actually examine their own views when it comes to these hot-button issues. It seems like their emotions just flare up, they close their eyes and ears, and start listing their valuable feelings and quoting their favorite hadith. 

And then we have this nonsense about how marital rape NEVER HAPPENS. My lord.

 

^ When you build your post upon a strawman argument, ramble on and attempt to mix in paranoia and delusions with facts, don't mind if you're not taken seriously. I also forgive you for your petty insult as a result of that, but only this once.

And no I'm not a woman. How does that concern what we were discussing or does it affect what is said. Any way . . . .

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Is Darth Vader even a woman?

"Oh, she shouldn't have let him rape her. She shouldn't have let it come to that. She was asking for it."

is analogous to:

"Oh, she shouldn't have worn that clothing. She shouldn't have let it come to that. She was asking for the rape."

Some days, I really wonder if people ever actually examine their own views when it comes to these hot-button issues. It seems like their emotions just flare up, they close their eyes and ears, and start listing their valuable feelings and quoting their favorite hadith.

And then we have this nonsense about how marital rape NEVER HAPPENS. My lord.

Haven't read such a clueless more mindless and totally flawed analogy before.

You didn't get the point of the DV's post. If I sum it up in one sentence, here it is, "Why would a woman deny her husband so much that he has to come down to this".

Only a psycho would force himself on his wife if he is getting IT at least once or twice a week. If a man is denied for weeks or months, what else can he do other than go to prostitutes or of those who desist this, would end up forcing themselves on their wife(s).

Here are some interesting stats: the most amount of fidelity happens when women are pregnant and are denying entry for months. Stupid women don't realize that there are other ways with which they can keep men satiated.

Hence my post months ago: http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235019193-are-women-oppressive-with-their-husbands/

Edited by Waiting for HIM

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What we learnt -

1) Taking it by force is probably not allowed.

2) A woman has committed a big sin if she denies her husband.

3) You can beat your wife with a toothbrush, provided you do not cause a change of skin.

Wraps it up?

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What we learnt -

1) Taking it by force is probably not allowed.

2) A woman has committed a big sin if she denies her husband.

3) You can beat your wife with a toothbrush, provided you do not cause a change of skin.

Wraps it up?

 

do you mean a toothbrush like this ?

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(bismillah)

 

(salam)

 

Kim

 

As for the tougue twisiting snake and his followers they should not expecate an apology from me and no am not forgivening no one.
 

 

I also kindly request that a beautiful creation of God  that serves it's purpose in the natural environment of the reptile gene not be insulted as such .

Many spices of this reptile which has survived millions years of evolution , has it unique capabilities of twisting it's tongue .

The sensory aperture of this creature of God is located within its tongue , therefore requiring it to smell it's prey by the twisting and slithering motion .

As for the request of it's followers , may I elaborate to thee , those that followeth thy presence shall  inherently submit to thy magnitude.

In awe of recompense , thou hast bewildered the enormity of deliverance of thy governance.

I recomemnd to thee to recompense before the hour is nigh ...

 

(wasalam)

Edited by :Sami II

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I'm the one who mentioned vending machines.

 

 

Let me ask you something. Wouldn't it be better if such women could take some responsibility, fix their heads and took a little care of their bread winning mules aka men, so that it never even comes to the point that their husband has to rape them out of frustration? What say you to that?

 

Why are you intrinsically linking a mans right to sexual relations with his role as a bread winner? if this is the case then the majority of men in many societies would be on very shakey ground with this claim as a great % of women work as well and are even expected to in modern marriages. If your right is based on being the earner then i guess it really sucks to be you if you lose your job.

 

 

And how is a rape of the wife (lets suppose thats even practical, worth discussing and not a non-issue for the sake of it!) how is that the husband's fault alone? It is also the wife's fault. Also remember that I'm not talking about non-believing or secular wives here. If you're secular then please refrain from answering and ignore my post.

 

 

Rape is an act of violence that cannot be Islamically (or otherwise) justified. Unless someone is physically attacking you you have no right to physically attack another human being and Muslims jurists have devised punishments for such deviants.

 

 

 

Excuse me? Do you even know what Islam prescribes regarding the matter? Please go back a few pages and read all the ahadith.

 

 

'All the ahadith'? care to share where they were posted?

 

 

    And again, this is actually a impractical and a non-issue in real life and I've never heard of a wife who got raped by her husband. (<---- Therefore, timkinrell please control yourself and keep it civil, thank you.)

    To the gallows with such false love, compassion and companionship that exists in the clouds and not in reality if a woman frustrates her husband to the point that he has to do something unthinkable like that.

 

 

 

I dunno who hurt you, but you cant keep using her/them as an excuse to hurt yourself and others forever. One day Allah will ask you to justify your callous attitude and a temper tantrum just wont cut it then bro.

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Ruq, it is against sharia for a woman to deny her husband unless a good excuse is used - (sick, pregnant), otherwise, she has to submit to him or else she is disobeying and going against the rules of sharia.

If she does so, she becomes disobedient. And the husband can strike her. But I don't think he can, using force, do the act.

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Ruq, it is against sharia for a woman to deny her husband unless a good excuse is used - (sick, pregnant), otherwise, she has to submit to him or else she is disobeying and going against the rules of sharia.

If she does so, she becomes disobedient. And the husband can strike her. But I don't think he can, using force, do the act.

 

No sorry, i dont believe that to be the case. The Quran talks about striking in the context of a specific circumstance. That the allowance is tied to a specific circumstance is an indication that it is not a general principle that can be followed, other wise it would be more logical for the Quran to say 'and if your wives are disobedient do this', without attaching it to a particular circumstance in which it is controlled but allowed. The Sharia is not an objective, timeless, monolithic entity, it is a way of understanding what laws can be implimented which could be reasonably understood to be Islamic in nature, it is not infallible because it always necessarily includes interpretation and reasoning abilities and that is why there are different versions of it.

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Keep the hate coming brothers and sisters...

Darth vander, if you was man enough,you would have addressed me by my name, inside if your barbie dolls name...

[edited]


I dont want to be addressed in this topic nor do I want to respond to others that have quoted me...

Edited by Muhammed Ali
member's request

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Keep the hate coming brothers and sisters...

Darth vander, if you was man enough,you would have addressed me by my name, inside if your barbie dolls name...

[edited]
I dont want to be addressed in this topic nor do I want to respond to others that have quoted me...

True words. May Allah keep you safe, bless you with a mu'min husband who fears Allah, that if he liked you he will cherish you and if he did not , he will not hurt you. 

Forget about them.

The first question I ask those women usually is "Is he drug addict?", although I know a case of "violence due to psychological disorder" like paranoid husband, but many others are simply being done by drug addicts. They appear when they want to satisfy their desires, they also satisfy their desires in beating the wife before going back to the "other partners". Some are shameless enough that they assault the wife, physically and sexually, in front of the kids, specially when they are high.

May Allah keep us away from them, and all believers.

The aggressive behavior though might appear from the engagement period if that invention exist in your culture, a girl should be able to pick it and sometimes she will experience it first hand. Because the situation is humiliating (even if no full intercourse happened) the humiliation alone is a factor that stops women from reporting it to their family, it is hard to tell someone that you were humiliated and describe its details, you'd rather take it into your hands. But girls should report it when they first experience it. They should not wait till things get complicated. It is a devastating thing, being a subject of release of negative emotions. Those around the girl can also pick it up, women who are assaulted usually start to withdraw from society, get lonely, get isolated. Their personality change, they tend to be absent minded, they startled at simple gentle conversation.

The children……..disaster..The only time i saw a child scared even in her mother arms was in this case. One of the children got hit by a car, he was hospitalized , he told the medical crew that he has no family, he wants to go to a house with a family in it, else either he better die or stay in hospital. They let him stay longer than the usual because he wasn't ready for his home. 

It is not a life, it is jahanam on earth so leave them argue about the definition of rape and hukm of rape, is wajib or haram, makrooh or ihtiyat wujoubi, is it worth diyah or not, should the woman pay her husband  a refund for his emotional broke up or it is up to her to buy him two slaves to entertain him while she heals from his last round.

let them write long about how fair  husband is, taking the money of his wife, building a second floor in their house, then marries a second wife and let her live in the second floor, then humiliates the first wife, makes her a second priority financially but when it is the time for his right, she should be happy to provide.

Forget them kim, we have Allah.

It is funny though, Muslim women seeking the justice from kufar court to get a way out from the guardianship of muslem men. Ultimate failure of modern ismalmic ethics.

Edited by Muhammed Ali

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(bismillah)

 

Please refer to my previous post before reading this one.

 

Another example:

 

2zqx6ib.jpg

 

 

- The squat rack represents Islam.

 

- The action of the squat itself represents the marriage.

 

- The catch rails on a squat rack are metaphors for rights as prescribed by Sharia.

 

The rack itself is the entire framework that facilitates the performance of squats by an individual, which ultimately leads to muscular hypertrophy (growth). It allows for the bar to be held correctly, the person to stand correctly and adjust the height according to his needs, etc. This is Islam. It is the framework that provides all the necessary tools for human beings to grow spiritually and otherwise, allowing them to perfect themselves and attain the potential that they were created to achieve.

 

The action of a failed squat (marriage) would result in the person performing the squat to fall down. The bar would fall on top of him and kill him if there was no catch rail (if you refer to my previous post, you may draw a parallel with the middle line and the catch rail, noting that if the middle line/catch rail did not exist, one would fall into the 'red' zone without anything to save them, which would mean the death of the soul).

 

If there is a catch rail (rights by Sharia) present, then, even though the individual has failed the squat and may have injured himself, he can actually get back up again alive because the heavy bar would have been caught by the catch rail. This is the true use of rights by Sharia. To protect from utter destruction. It is not to be used in regular cases though. It is only to be used in cases of dire failure to prevent an even greater calamity, death (continuing with the metaphor, the death of the soul).

 

(wasalam)

Edited by Hazyn

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(bismillah)

 

One last example to reiterate my point. Again, please read my above posts to help with the understanding.

 

In this case, these buildings represent the types of marriages.

 

No Spousal Rights Upheld:

 

dirt-rubble-449501.jpg

 

With this type of building, it is impossible to enjoy from it because it is utterly broken and unlivable. This represents a marriage that has failed utterly because the couple have gone under the 'Sharia law' line (refer to my first post).

 

Only Spousal Rights Upheld:

 

2hwcw11.jpg

 

With this one, it is very uncomfortable to live in because the 'inhabitants' (spouses) would be inside a skeleton of a building. One which would not protect them from the elements, nor would they be able to cook food or use the lights due to lack of electricity or a built kitchen, etc. Life would be very hard for the inhabitants of this one, but it would be possible to live in very poor condition. This represents a marriage built solely of Sharia law and nothing further.

 

Spousal Rights Upheld + Practice of Islamic Marriage Moral Prescriptions:

 

BurjAlarab.png

 

Only this type of building will carry any benefit for the inhabitants, because only with the this type of building can the inhabitants live inside it and enjoy a comfortable quality of life with complete infrastructure, food, etc. This represents a perfect Islamic marriage in which marriage morals above and beyond the bare necessities are put into practice. This represents a marriage based on mutual love, compassion, kindness, tolerance, patience, compromise...

 

This is ultimately a type of marriage (and the only type) which attains the pleasure of Allah and a marriage which will help the two spouses succeed in this world and the next.

 

(wasalam)

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Bismillah

 

I forgot to mention the subject of marital rape. Marital rape is not allowed in Shi'i law as far as I have read. In the classical texts, this is usually discussed under sections of withholding sex before the acquirement of mahr by the wife. Once penetration takes place, the wife is duty-bound to have intercourse with her husband. Now the question is, what if the husband rapes his wife (dakhala biha kurhan), can she still withhold sex until she receives the mahr? 

 

A dominant opinion is that she may still withhold it because the act of rape is not permissible and as such, an invalid (fasid) act may not having a binding effect (athar al-sahih).

 

 فلو دخل بها كرها فحق الامتناع بحاله، لأنه قبض فاسد فلا يترتب عليه أثر الصحيح

 

See Shahid al-Thani vol 3 p. 283 (kitab al-nikah, subsection nikah):

 

The dispute of course is about the repercussions of the act, but there seems to be a tacit agreement that rape is not allowed.

1. The topic's not even about rape during first intercourse, rather generally during the marriage.

2. The hukm you posted is about giving the mahr if she was "raped" (doesn't say that either), and doesn't apply any other time after that, don't see the relevance here at all. 

3. The Scholars actually do say she must give in to her husband's demand if she has no excuse, there's no difference if it was the first intercourse or not. 

Sistani:

السؤال: هل یجوز للزوجة ان تمتنع من الممارسة الجنسية بدون عذر؟

الجواب: لا يجوز بل لابد أن تطاوع الزوجة إلى ذلك.

http://www.sistani.org/arabic/qa/0425/page/2/

 

I appreciate that the apologetics on this site have some backing with your post though. I respect that. 

Edited by Al-Afasy

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Why are you intrinsically linking a mans right to sexual relations with his role as a bread winner? if this is the case then the majority of men in many societies would be on very shakey ground with this claim as a great % of women work as well and are even expected to in modern marriages. If your right is based on being the earner then i guess it really sucks to be you if you lose your job.

 

I have done nothing wrong.

 

It is the God intended, general role of the husband that he is the bread winner in a family especially in Muslim societies. Asking women to work outside their homes has always been looked down upon. Perhaps changes from the norm are also why marriages are becoming impractical. It is also his God intended role to be the head of the family and decisive authority. Sure families can probably exist and function in other ways as well, just like there are unnatural ways to things beside the correct ones and therefore things like gay marriages exist today.

 

If the man doesn't work then of course he'll be on very, very shakey grounds. He'll be like the family dog. A pauper. Such a man shouldn't expect his rights to begin with. It is how things work. However, if we all adopt Islamic teachings then everything can be made easier for everybody.

Muslim husbands, and I don't mean the muslim-by-name sort, will never hurt their wife in any way or "take revenge" from her or anyone else. Similarly, real muslim women will always fare better in relationships too because they heed the wisdom of God, fear Him, and already are mindful of their husband's rights. You can quote me on the above.

 

Rape is an act of violence that cannot be Islamically (or otherwise) justified. Unless someone is physically attacking you you have no right to physically attack another human being and Muslims jurists have devised punishments for such deviants.

 

Thank you for putting words in my mouth. I am against all forms of rape. Please read my posts again. In fact, make a text document and write it there "DV is against rape" to remember that next time. And if I have advised some women on a way to avoid it by taking responsibility and playing their role, I have done nothing wrong.

 

So you see I have not wronged women rights in the slightest. Or perhaps you refer to my vending machine post? Well yes, dysfunctional vending machines are a burden on any area they are in. They should be replaced. To say otherwise would be wronging the rights of those trying to or expecting correct function from them. Should I instead wrong the rights of others to say good things about the dysfunctional machine. Rather good advice is the property of the fellow muslim and I can not deny someone their thing after knowing that.

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