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Not Fulfilling Marital Obligation

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What is the punishment for a man who does not support his wife and children?

According to Sayyed Sistani, he is indebted to his wife for all she spends for her own support and support of the children. What happens if he dies without repaying this debt? Since he can't recompense the ones he has wronged after his death, can he be forgiven? Do the wife and children have to forgive him before he can attain heaven?

What is the status of a man whose failure to support his wife results in her becoming reliant on a non-Muslim government welfare program? And is the negligent husband at fault if the wife is forced to sin in order to maintain herself and her children?

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What happens if he dies without repaying this debt? Since he can't recompense the ones he has wronged after his death, can he be forgiven? Do the wife and children have to forgive him before he can attain heaven?

 

According to the Islamic teaching, if you didn't fulfill your responsibility towards your family and your fellow human being, you will be accountable for them in the after life and akhira when it will be too late for you to do anything about it.

 

His children can seek forgiveness on behalf of him but the likelihood of gaining such forgiveness is very slim (or void) since the book of his good/bad deeds is already closed.

 

He'll be at the mercy of the God.

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It is narrated in Hadith that the best of Dinar (money unite) is a Dinar that a man spent on his family.

It is also narrated that when sa'd died, 70 thousand angel walked in his funeral. When prophet stood by his grave he said " And the likes of Sa'ad are hugged by grave" The mother of Sa'ad did not understood so prophet told her that Sa'ad is experiencing the pressure of grave (sort of punishment) because Sa'ad was not "soft spoken" with his family.

 

It is narrated that whoever entered the market, bought an accessory thing(s) for his family , he will be like a man carrying sadaqah to a needy family. He preferably should start with females, whoever made his daughter happy he will be like freeing an enslaved child from the children of Isma'il, whoever made a son's eye delighted he will be like a one whose eyes cried from fear of Allah and whoever cried from fear of Allah, Allah will grant him heavens.

 

 

I know that these sort of hadiths are rarely distributed which is shame, you will hardly hear them from pulpits or read them in books. Best scholars that spoke about these issues are: Syyed Hadi Mudarrisi, Taqi Falsafi and Habib Kadhimi. All of them write or lecture in Arabic only sadly. The rest will most of time take the approach of "blame it all on women, the woods of hell fire". They take Qawammah as honorary right  not as responsibility that they will be asked about in the day of judgement.

 

There is also the story of a pious companion of the prophet who died, prophet refused to perform the prayer in his funeral until one of the companion went to pay the debt of that man. There is also a story about a pious man who got heaven like grave except for a scorpion that bite him every day because he did not paid back a loan.

 

I think another good point to make is that : It is good deed to forgive people who died or are alive, it is a sort of Sadaqah.

Edited by Chaotic Muslem

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interesting i would also like to know this question

another question is 1.can one be forgiven if he dies in debt of any kind, assuming he tried to re pay it.

wsalaam

As I understand it, only if the person who is owed forgives him, he can be forgiven.

I wonder about the status of those who die indebted to big banks or other impersonal entities incapable of forgiveness or non-forgiveness.

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(bismillah)

 

(salam)

 

 

 

According to the Islamic teaching, if you didn't fulfill your responsibility towards your family and your fellow human being, you will be accountable for them in the after life and akhira when it will be too late for you to do anything about it.

 

His children can seek forgiveness on behalf of him but the likelihood of gaining such forgiveness is very slim (or void) since the book of his good/bad deeds is already closed.

 

He'll be at the mercy of the God.

 

Salam Brother, 

 

But the book of deeds is not closed after a person dies, as in Islam the good deeds done in his/her name shall still be recorded for him, for example the prayers done in his/her name, sadaqa that he payed while alive that is still beneficial to someone or the books he/she wrote/thought that Muslims are still benefiting from etc.

 

So if his children and family are praying for forgiveness after he died, it may well have good effect and cause Allah's te'ala Mercy on him, especially if those whom he wronged forgive him and supplicate for him.

 

And Allah te'ala knows better.

 

 

It is narrated in Hadith that the best of Dinar (money unite) is a Dinar that a man spent on his family.

It is also narrated that when sa'd died, 70 thousand angel walked in his funeral. When prophet stood by his grave he said " And the likes of Sa'ad are hugged by grave" The mother of Sa'ad did not understood so prophet told her that Sa'ad is experiencing the pressure of grave (sort of punishment) because Sa'ad was not "soft spoken" with his family.

 

It is narrated that whoever entered the market, bought an accessory thing(s) for his family , he will be like a man carrying sadaqah to a needy family. He preferably should start with females, whoever made his daughter happy he will be like freeing an enslaved child from the children of Isma'il, whoever made a son's eye delighted he will be like a one whose eyes cried from fear of Allah and whoever cried from fear of Allah, Allah will grant him heavens.

 

 

I know that these sort of hadiths are rarely distributed which is shame, you will hardly hear them from pulpits or read them in books. Best scholars that spoke about these issues are: Syyed Hadi Mudarrisi, Taqi Falsafi and Habib Kadhimi. All of them write or lecture in Arabic only sadly. The rest will most of time take the approach of "blame it all on women, the woods of hell fire". They take Qawammah as honorary right  not as responsibility that they will be asked about in the day of judgement.

 

There is also the story of a pious companion of the prophet who died, prophet refused to perform the prayer in his funeral until one of the companion went to pay the debt of that man. There is also a story about a pious man who got heaven like grave except for a scorpion that bite him every day because he did not paid back a loan.

 

I think another good point to make is that : It is good deed to forgive people who died or are alive, it is a sort of Sadaqah.

 

 

Thank you for this illuminating post, you are absolutely right when you say these ahadeeth should be quoted more often. Jazak Allah te'ala khayran kathiran.

 

(wasalam)

 

Amina

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Speaking of forgiveness, at what point does a grudge become unreasonable? There are some things that can't be fixed. Suppose in the scenario I described, the child begrudges the fathers lack of support and guidance. Later in life the father repents but the child is grown so the damage can't be repaired. If the child refuses to forgive the father after it is impossible to make amends, will the father forever bear the burden, or is the unhelpful grudge held against the child?

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Salam,

If a man dies and he has not paid back his wife debit, then his hasant (good deeds) will be given to the wife. This inculdces, if he misstreats her,does not do what he is meant to do. The children can give sadaq or ask people to forgive him, usually most people forgive a dead person.

I heard a sayad say that if a person say all woman or men are like etc when he dies a woman or man can actually come up to him on the day of judgment and ask him why he said this and some of his good deed will be given to the person he wronglly accused. I think with forgivence its the way you say it and how much you mean it. The one that forgives gets more hasant then the one that holds a gurdge, no matter how painful it was. I think with holding a gurdge on a person, you can insult the person and back bite them and that will make the person you speak about gain your hasant,even thou they wronged you.

Edited by kim.tinkerbell

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The ummah needs to provide for the family if the father does not. Maybe then these men will not run away from their children if those around him have to take care of his responsiblities. It is shameful.

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The ummah needs to provide for the family if the father does not. Maybe then these men will not run away from their children if those around him have to take care of his responsiblities. It is shameful.

Well they don't, but maybe they don't know the situation.

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Forgiveness from the victim does not necessarily mean the person is forgiven by Allah swt. A child neglected or given bad upbringing due to self induced absence on part of a father would come out with certain deficiencies in his personalities. Anything that he does wrong which could be avoidable due to father presence might get on the neck of the neglecting father. So it might be that the victim forgives, but Allah swt in bigger scheme of things might not.

OP: Sister in sharia law you are entitled to his assets. A Muslim judge can even make you and your children the sole owner of his property in certain cases keeping him just a 3 meals eating money machine whose all earnings past and future would go to his neglected children. Now obviously you can't force this ruling on him in a non sharia governed place but there are other ways to go after him such as local laws in your country of living.

There is a very strong Hadith from Prophet that men will be asked of their subjects (those who are in his Wilaya). In case of a normal man, his subjects are his wife, children, and in some cases his aging parents. Islam has strict rules even for a goat who is kept as a pet, for which a man would be severely answerable. The answering of not fulfilling the rights of the wife and children would be severe and extremely harsh.

Prophet refused to pray the janaza (funeral prayer) of a famous Muslim who died rich, gave away all his wealth in charity, and left his children on people's mercy.

In Islam, one of the obligatory worships for a man is to go and find the sustenance for his wife and children. A Muslim man ignoring this in the name of laziness, religion, piety, or whatever is not fulfilling his religious duty and is liable in front of Allah swt.

Edited by Waiting for HIM

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