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In the Name of God بسم الله

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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ln a politically oriented exercise in kleptomania, l found:

How do you keep a liberal busy all day? Put her a round room and tell her to wait in the corner.

Why do liberals stare at a frozen juice can? Because it says 'concentrate.'

Why do liberals work 7 days a week? So you do not have to re-train them on Monday.

How does a liberal commit suicide? She gathers all her hate into a pile, climbs to the top of it and jumps off.

What are the worst three years in a liberal's life? First grade.

How do you get a liberal to laugh on a Monday? Tell her a joke on Friday.

Why is it handy for yourself to take a liberal shopping? This way, you can park in the handicapped spot.

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I read a Jewish joke the other day (it went something along the lines of:) A rabbi and a taxi driver arrive at the gates of heaven, an angel comes to greet them and immediately ushers the taxi dr

two sodium atoms walking down a street   atom 1: oh no.... searching his pockets...... i lost an electron atome 2: are you sure? atom 1: i am positive.

Told in the mosque by the imam: A flood came and a man climbed a tree. A truck came by and offered the man a ride and the man said, "no thanks, Allah will help me". The water rose and a boat

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Nextdoor is a social app that allows people to connect with others in their neighbourhood. Great for keeping track of lost cats and suspicious people.

But it can get tense

Screenshot 2020-11-26 at 11.44.26.png

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38 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

Do you mean Hubble ?

Hubel is the name of the most important god for the Mushriks of Mecca (during Jahiliya)

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To continue with Wednesday's Uncle Joe Jokes:

What happens when a liberal has Alzheiner's? The lQ goes up.

What do you get when you ask a liberal a 'penny for your thoughts'? A diatribe and change. {as in change at the cash register}

What do you call a basement full of liberals? A whine cellar. [homonym for 'wine']

What do you call the ears of liberals?  Wind tunnels.

Five or more liberals in a circle is called a dope ring.

Why is the liberal brain the size of a pea in the morning? Because it swells during the day.

How do you define 'gross ignorance'?  144 Liberals [Note: a gross is a dozen-dozen, 12 twelves. This counter is used in the retail trade.]

How are liberals like Scud missiles? Both are offensive and inaccurate.

How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?  None -because they pass a law creating a gov't agency and then give it a budget. Bulbs are changed sometime after all the paperwork is approved.

What is the difference between a liberal and the rear-end of a horse? The liberal has more scents.  [Homonym for 'sense'.]

What is the difference between a dog and a liberal lying in the road? People feel sorry for the dog.

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Uncle Joe Jokes, Part 3:

What's the difference between a liberal and a terrorist? Yu can negotiate with a terrorist.

Name something liberals use for birth control? Their personalities.

How can you tell if a liberal is dead? Unused drugs and a closed copy on Marxism.

Why aren't liberal hearts good for transplants? Because these bleed over the least little thing.

What do you have when a coven of liberals is up to their necks in concrete?  Not enough concrete and structural failure.

:confused:[cringe] What is the ideal weight for a liberal. 2.5 lbs, including the urn.

What is the flagship of liberal gov't policies?  :titanic:

:mod:"This one is kind of blasphemous."   What is the difference between God and a liberal?  God knows he is not a liberal and a liberal believes she is one.

l'II skip the obscene jokes about liberals.

Why did the liberal cry over her new computer? Because she could not find video lectures by Karl Marx or Frederick Engels.

What is the difference between a liberal and a trampoline?  With a trampoline you take your shoes off before jumping on it.

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Uncle Joe Jokes, Part 4

What do you call liberals in a freezer? Frosted Flakes.

What is long and has no real measurement of its lQ?  A liberal parade.

What is the difference between a liberal and an American? The liberal will force you to stand-in-line  with your ration stamps.

Why is there so much gas, CO2 and climate change? Because so much of it comes from both ends of liberals.

How do liberals greet each other?  With the latest cause.

What is the difference between a war and a liberal's promise?  There is more suffering with her promise.

A liberal found a magic lamp, rubbed it and a genie appeared. The genie said, "l can grant you one wish." The liberal stalled for a moment and then said, "l wish l was smarter." Then the genie said, "Not doable."

The liberal response to the comment "Think about it" "l do not have to think -- l know!"

 

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0kay @Haji 2003 this one is for you, mon ami.

From theLocal.fr  expression of the day:

Noyer le Poisson

Which has the generalized differential expression in Poisson's Equation.

Ergo, there is a noyer le poisson `equation.

 

As an aside, my father use to tease my sisters and l by saying, "fish and milk will poison you."  Sayings like this in the US this are considered an "old wive's tale", yet now l can see where this probably came from: lt is an antitimeric.

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Trumpology infects everyone around him.

"if some Chow showed up ... all Chinese look alike". 

So how would photo ID help if you could not link the photo to the face ...?

 

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Susan Pompeo has obviously been seeing too much of Sarah Netanyahu:

Quote

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s wife wanted senior State Department staff to work during the week of Christmas to complete their personal holiday cards, requesting they keep the circle small because of the private nature of the assignment, emails obtained by McClatchy show.

Read more here: https://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article245708845.html#storylink=cpy

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l was in the kitchen. So after a while, l come back in and hear this interview on TV when the woman says, "Not to be churnish, but  . . . blah, blah blah."

Churn-ish is not even a word. Get out the dictionary. Yep, ain't thar. There is the word "churIish" -the medieval peasant mentality- but not "churnish."

Psuedo-intellectuality always irritates me. That's is why l do this little rant.

And the program l heard this and then changed channels away from? Amanpoor & cohorts, as you may have guessed. The program for American churls.

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l was watching this program which referred to the lux operon --the bio-luminescent gene.

Which gives me an idea: put one of these genes in dogs.

lmagine the possibilities. When you get up at night it will illuminate your way as it follows you around, so you don't have to turn on any lights and save on your electric bill.

lmagine the reaction of any would-be burglars. Confronting something glowing and barking . . . likely scaring the scat out of them. :scarerun:

Call them "radio-dogs". Short for 'radioactive canines.' The police could use them to control a crowd of libtards more easily by pushing their hysteria button. Or conversely, turn a pack of these loose in Washington, D.C. Then start the rumor they are a "gift" from some country . . .  Many political possibilities.

l'II have to see what is in my basic science books. Mary Shelley's, Ray Bradbury's, lsaac Asimov, Gene Rottenbury's, . . .  This will be a interesting experiment.

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On 12/8/2020 at 4:24 AM, hasanhh said:

l was in the kitchen. So after a while, l come back in and hear this interview on TV when the woman says,

Yep . . . did this again.

Only this time, the whine was so dominate l couldn't catch what the cause-of-the-day was.

Same useless program, too.

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Seven children is reference to the family of Ursula von Der Leyen the President of the EU.

Boris is the Prime Minister of the UK - no one is quite sure how many children he has had and with whom.

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There ought to be a parental lesson in this.

So the boy in the next backyard is out there hammering these 2x4s together. Then he gets a piece of his Dad's firewood and lays it in front of this big pile of leaves. He goes away and comes back pulling an 8 inch concrete block in his wagon. Then he sets the 2x4s on the log and at one end he places the concrete block. Moves his wagon away, then backs up and runs towards this contraption. Leaping over the concrete block and the log, he lands of the far end of the boards. The concrete block flies forward, striking him in the back of his shoulder blades and his head. Rolling on the ground, yelping like a beaten dog, he finally get himself up, staggers  around a little and then stands there gazing at his failed enterprise. "You okay?" l holler. "Yeah." "What are you trying to do?" l ask. "l wanted a trampoline, but Mom said 'no way'," he answers, "so l am making a diving board." "What for?" "So l can dive into the leaves."  "Why won't your mother get you a little trampoline," l ignorantly queried. "She's afraid l'II hurt myself."

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^^^^^^^ This kind of"duh" question reminds me of the 80s when local TV stations started reporting on the high, dihydrogenoxide levels in the municipal water supplies. 

This got 'stopped' when in one mid-West region TV station set off a panic . . . and maybe a protest (l forget, but there was more than panic calls to the water department).

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Two men are strolling through Jena.

The first man asks the second, "What did you do in Earth Life?"

The second man answers, "l was a seed organizer."

The first man, not understanding, then asks, "What was that?"

The second man continues, " l had this here farm. Every year l'd go out and plough it, then disc it, then get my planter, fill that with seed and then drive around organizing those seeds into neat rows. That took most of a week. Then the God of Noah -(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). would shine the Sun on them, water them, make them grow. Then in Fall, in about a week's time,  l'd run those plants through my harvester, dump the new seeds into a wagon and then reorganize then in a bin. Then l'd put some on my truck, drive into the grain mill, sell them and complain about how hard l worked growing that crop."

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