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In the Name of God بسم الله

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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On 8/14/2020 at 5:34 AM, Marbles said:

The people who lived in BC must have been terrified as to what the years were counting down to.

Would you believe it took old dotard me 3 weeks to understand this joke.

l could think of why people in British Columbia, Canada would be "terrified" of anything.

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I read a Jewish joke the other day (it went something along the lines of:) A rabbi and a taxi driver arrive at the gates of heaven, an angel comes to greet them and immediately ushers the taxi dr

two sodium atoms walking down a street   atom 1: oh no.... searching his pockets...... i lost an electron atome 2: are you sure? atom 1: i am positive.

Told in the mosque by the imam: A flood came and a man climbed a tree. A truck came by and offered the man a ride and the man said, "no thanks, Allah will help me". The water rose and a boat

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Meanwhile, in reality TV -if it ever was, the Kartrashians have called it quits after 20 years.  :yahoo:

Maybe, to take up the ratings slack, l should do something Romanesque?  Brutality TV.

Watch "0ld Dotard" smack flies . . . crush bugs . . . 

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Watching the TV just now, the anchors were babbling about swinging singles.

That was never me. And dancing is immoral.

So is the other stuff.

But at my age, it would have to be a "swaying single".

Weave to one side of the hallway when you walk. Sway to the other side the next.

Then there is the kitchen. Start to go one way, change your mind, go another way, question my process and go a third way.

Dementia Dancing l'd guess you'd call this.

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Rummaging around the lnterNet looking for info on the Oregon fires, l surveyed the suburbs of Portland.

ln the path of of the Riverside Fire is a little town of Firgrove.

Located about 7 miles southeast from the l-205, it is also about due west of Estacada.

Maybe the townspeople should change the name of their residence area

to Firegrove.

Edited by hasanhh
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Another, Modified Milton Berle:

Typical, Marred Student:  "lt's hard to concentrate in school when you think about your wife being home all alone . . . 

. . . That is why l rush home as fast as l can because l know she misses me too . . .

l'm hoo-ome . . ."

Wife: Where's the bread?

Edited by hasanhh
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My local news was reporting on schools, C0VlD and "remote learning" in lieu of in-classroom instruction.

When l was in skool sitting in a classroom, l was always  "remote" learning.

Back then, it was called 'daydreaming.'

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This question appears on the UK citizenship test. Because obviously new ideas about these only arose in the European enlightenment and not before.

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Posted (edited)

.               WARNING: 

.     This is a really pour joke

 

.            NEWSFLASH

POTUS, Donald J. Trump has

.         tested POSITIVE

,           for C0VlD-19

 

Medical Diagnosis: Obviously that hyena4voxhubriszeen does not have many benefits.

 

Edited by hasanhh
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CNN reporter is driving along and sees uniforms out in front of the police station.

Slamming on her brakes, she stops the car, jumps out and runs over to the policemen on the sidewalk.

"What's going on?", she breathlessly asks.

"We are changing shifts."

 

:grin:"Yep, l stole this joke,too"

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Preface: ln informal North Amerikan English or slang, a "turkey" is something 'completely unsuccessful'. That writ . . .

The Democrats have created so many nation-wide, big-spending programs that turned out to be turkeys, they should be made honorary pilgrims.

 

Yep, stole this one,too.

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Posted (edited)

Gosh, am l getting old and slooooow.

To cheer myself up, l decided to find a joke.

Those l found are are old and stale.

l gave myself a poke . . .

and l again did fail;

A joke . . . a joke . . . l'II sacrifice

my ex for a good joke or tale.

Edited by hasanhh
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l heard a joke.

After  a she vs. he fighting all day Saturday, a husband says,

"l am going with Jim and Ahmad. They'll be here to pick me up a a few minutes."

"Are you coming back?", asks the wife.

"Of course l am," he answers. "l wouldn't 'leave' without my golf clubs."

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l went to the doctor this morning, who said l have low blood pressure.

"l'II write you a prescription."

"ls there a cheaper way to get my blood pressure up?" l asked.

"Well, here. You can look at this every hour. That should do it."

lt was the bill.

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