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In the Name of God بسم الله

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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I read a Jewish joke the other day (it went something along the lines of:) A rabbi and a taxi driver arrive at the gates of heaven, an angel comes to greet them and immediately ushers the taxi dr

two sodium atoms walking down a street   atom 1: oh no.... searching his pockets...... i lost an electron atome 2: are you sure? atom 1: i am positive.

Told in the mosque by the imam: A flood came and a man climbed a tree. A truck came by and offered the man a ride and the man said, "no thanks, Allah will help me". The water rose and a boat

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When l finished mowing my yard tonight, l noticed my neighbor out in his yard.

Since he was sitting there with his face in his hands l went over to see if l could help.

l asked what was wrong, and he looked up with tears in his eyes and told me.

Today was his daughter's birthday and she couldn't blow out the candles on her cake.

The girl couldn't realize she had to take her mask off first.

Nothing l could do could 'help' that.

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Hi Neighbor !  You Iook happy this morning.

Yeah, l convinced my wife that the Covid-19 epidemic is so bad that the gov't was mandating that people mask in their homes.

She buy it?

Yep, she did. So l made her a mask out of duct tape.

How is she doing with it?

A little blue-in-the-face the last time l Iooked.

:rolleyes:

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A Half-Funny

Since yesterday when the news cycle started on Biden's VP pick, l hace seen several spellings of her name.

Camillia

Camilla

Kamilla or Kamillia

when in actuality, it is Kamal+a = Kamala

Fortunately, her name isn't Jamella , then we'd have jamal+l-e.

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Could be an unintended consequence or an inconsequential consequence, but Macron's Arabic tweets are really winding up some French people. This dude asks whether they'll soon have Arabic lessons in their schools.

 

On a positive note this tweet got more likes, he tells the racist to click the translate button and not get so angry.

 

 

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, starlight said:

. What did you see?

 

3 hours ago, Haji 2003 said:

We see a face but

"but" ...the first focus was on the Iower portion and l saw the skull of a crocodile. Two large eye sockets, nostrils . . . 

Good thing this isn't a Rorschach Test.

So re-setting my vision point, my ideographic impression was of eyes with or without spectacles, an apparent  beard and a memory of some 19th Century picture l saw in the past. A musician l believe it is.

So doing a "famous 19th Century men" search l got a large quantity of pictures to Iook through.

So listing pictures that conform to the spotty outlines, l found:

Wm T. Sherman

Jefferson Davis

Nathan Bedford Forrest

Charles Dickens

Doc Holiday

Frederick Nieztsche

Mark Twain

Braxton Bragg

John Muir

John Stuart Mill

Gauguin

James Longstreet

Claude de'Bussy

Haile Selassie

--Beatrix Potter

John B. Hood

Anton Checkhov

lsambard Brunel

Kit Carson

J.E.B. Stuart

D.H. Lawrence

G. Garibaldi

Anti Dvorak

Ludwig Boltzman

Giuseppe Verdi

Renoir

Newton Knight

Gustave Eiffel

J.P. Sousa

George Pickett

Sam Colt

--Belle Starr

Courbet

--Jane Addyne (sp?)

Frederick Olmstead

--Eliz. Barret Browning

George Meade

--Virginia Woolf

Thomas Nast

James Thurber

--Emmy Necther (sp?)

--Mary B. Eddy

--Mary Ann Cotton

--Kate Chopin

--Jane Toppin (sp?)

Not unsurprisingly, many women fit the spotty image(notes by the double dash offset). All were either writers or criminals. Which is probably exemplified by the observation that with the rise of the feminist movement in the early 1970s, at the same time the term "serial killers" was coined (which displaced the "mass murderer" characterization).

Thanks Haji2003. This filled up my morning.

 

 

 

Edited by hasanhh
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Posted (edited)

:fever: "0ne hundred years ago today, the 19th Amendment was ratified."

What has been the political benefit?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDeTyBVin3s

 

 

Gloria Stienmann Steinem interview quote on PBS NewsHour: "We have a long way to go." (at 50 minutes in)

:hahaha: "Same thing was said 50 years ago. So l guess they are all go-no-wheres."

 

Edited by hasanhh
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Demoncrats Demand Trump Do Something

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/08/19/california-fires-smoke-blankets-san-francisco-vacaville-evacuated/5605293002/

"A senior Demoncratic official, speaking on condition of anonymity to avoid embarrassment, demanded today that President Trump do something about masks and lightening strikes. 'President Trump has not done enough about masks and nothing at all about these 10,849 lightening strikes that have started 347 fires,' the official said. 'We insist that Trump wave a magic wand and solve some of these issues. California is burning,' the official said hysterically."

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Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!
 
A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?" 
 
There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react. 
 
Then Kim Jong-un quietly answered  "We will land at night". 
 
The entire audience broke out in thunderous applause !
 
Back in the White House, Donald Trump and his entourage were watching the news conference on TV.
 
When Trump heard what Kim had said, he sneered -  "What an idiot. There is no sun at night time !" 
 
Now, his cabinet broke up in thunderous applause !!
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Mydogynme Warning:

lman: Hasan, you know charity is good for the soul and, inshallah, racks up points for yourself on the Last Day.

Hasan: l know, but  usually l regret it.

lman: How?

Hasan: Charity begets problems.  l fixed my sister's car and l am still fixing it because she won't get a new one. l helped a friend in college study for an exam and then failed mine. l marred her . . .

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So l am sitting here, reviewing S.C. with the TV down low. l was getting very irritable. Something was eating at me.

l turned and saw the Late Show with Stephen Colbert was on the screen. "That is it!", l said to myself. "Hillary is talking."

Why can't she be an old soldier and just fade away?

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