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In the Name of God بسم الله
Inquisitor

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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WARNING:  Another Politicaly lncorrect lrony.

:dwarf:"COMRADES !  Another Monumental Victory to announce. 

A statue of Frederick Douglas has been torn down."

https://www.foxnews.com/us/frederick-douglass-statue-vandalized 

:sorry:"Uhhhhh . . . lsn't he black ?"

:ranting: "Doesn't matter . . . the destruction . . . the productive chaos . . .  must continue."

 

Note: "productive chaos" was one of Lennin's tactics.

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Where are you from?

A small village surrounded by hamlets.

How do you suffer all those soliloquies?

 

 

Act 3 Scene 1

Okay, so l finally contrived a poor joke. At least l didn't steal it.

English Lesson: The word 'suffer' in this context means 'bear', 'endure.'

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There's someone posting who style suggested that they were from deepest Punjab, but actually there from one of the southern United States. Same difference I guess.

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16 hours ago, Haji 2003 said:

There's someone posting who style suggested that they were from deepest Punjab, but actually there from one of the southern United States. Same difference I guess.

Puns and Jabs is the Southern way.

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While l was wandering around the supermarket today, over the PA(public address) system l hear something like this:

"Please shoppers, 

Maintain social distancing,

Six feet apart.

Wear a face mask,

Wash your hands...

Often.

Be courteous to other shoppers."

l then expected to hear: "Have a good day, comrades."

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This is nearly completely true, as best as l can remember.

l asked a friend, "Did you ever flick your cigarette into a pond and a frog take it?"

"Yes," he answered.

Then one of us said, "lt probably croaked."

 

"Croak" is not only the sound word for frogs, but was also a slang word for dying.

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Hey Man. What's wrong? You look so bad.

Nothing.

What's her name?

How did you now it was a gurl?

You said it was 'nothing.'

 

l stole this joke from the Burns and Allen Show (1957) . . . :clap:AND I AM SO HAPPY I DID !

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ln short, my little sister, who ever-so-often cooks me some extra nice meals, asked me, "Hasan, you are old and reflective, did you ever wonder who will come to your funeral?"

Me: "The bill collectors for one."

Lil' Sis: "Anyone else?"

Me: "My ex."

"Li'l Sis: "Her !  Why would she come?"

Me: "To search my pockets."

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l do not know what is wrong with corporations and their sales pitches.

l went to the garden store and the clerk was of little help.

Finally, l just said, "l do not want a "Horticultural Implement Storage Solution" . . . l just want a tool shed."

 

Yeah . . . l stole this joke, too. From Roger B. Eale

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Obituary

ln Memorium

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjTVXzED-CY

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased, lidded pan.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects; including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Rasins band, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Capt. Crunch. Doughboy's elderly father-in-law, "Pop" Tart, also attended, toasting in the hot temperatures.

The grave site was piled high with various flours.

Aunt Jemima, now forcibly retired, delivered the eulogy and characterized Doughboy as someone who never realized how much he was kneaded. During his career, Doughboy rose quickly, but in later years was faced with many turnovers. He was not thought of as a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions of consumers.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and their two children, John Dough and Jane Dough. They were also expecting a third child, but as yet unnamed is still in the oven. 

The funeral was held at 345 for about 20 minutes.

 

l'm a kleptomaniac for comedy.

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As an old guy, l wanted some monotony-breaking excitement.

So l went out into the garage and hitched up my chariot.

Then to drive it, l took a rope and started whipping the rocking horse.

 

Yeah, l kinda stole this one too.

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Friend: Hasan, why aren't you out on the golf course? lt's a beautiful day!

Me: l don't like golf.

Friend: Why, for gosh sakes?

Me: Because of the course..

Friend: What do you mean? A good walk, fresh air.

Me: Because l need a compass when l get out there or l get lost . . .  for one reason.

Friend: Well . . . what is another reason?

Me: Because when l hit a ball, l want someone else to chase it.

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DeutscheWelle's "DW The Day" theme for Wednesday:

Who is responsible for allowing the Lebanese capital blow up?

 

Thought: Whomever it is, or they are, get them jobs running a port at the North end of the Chesapeake Bay. Along the Potomac River.

 

0kay, it is politically incorrect, but it is a 'popular' thought.

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