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In the Name of God بسم الله

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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The ruling revealed Princess Haya, who fled to the UK with her two children in April 2019, had an affair with her bodyguard.

https://www.ft.com/content/94cba9a4-5fa1-11ea-b0ab-339c2307bcd4

 

I bet wife #1 has a really smug look on her face these days.

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The working age of Americans is ~190million.

Divide that into $1 Billion and each of US workers would have ~$5.30

Add 60-70 cents to that and you'd have enough for the average cost of a Big Mac Meal.

You'd have to pay for your kids' meals yourself.

Mike Bloomberg has ~$64 Billion. Divide the same in to $64B and you'd have ~$336 for each worker. Add $25 to that and you'd have the average 2018 used-car payment for one month of $361.

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Another Milton Berle:  Explanatory note follows.

Did you know Trump will have a new vice president this year?

Yes, Trump is dropping his Pence**.

 

Note: From Johnny Carson, Tonight Show, Season 23, Episode 40 of 13March1984. A joke about Gary Hart.

**Pence is a soft homonym for 'pants'.

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“My boss pulled up in a new Lamborghini so I said ‘Wow, that’s an amazing car!’ He replied, ‘if you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year.”

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lt is Act 1, Scene 2 deja vu

Trump is in the White House.

Nanny Pelousy is Speaker

The Adam Schiff Show maybe renewed for another term.

Biden is leading in the polls and votes.

Europe is going into lockdown.

C0VlD-19 is beginning its run in the 3rd World

Beware the ldes of March  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3bczScmRUE 

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On 3/15/2020 at 3:53 AM, hasanhh said:

lt is Act 1, Scene 2 deja vu

Trump is in the White House.

Nanny Pelousy is Speaker

The Adam Schiff Show maybe renewed for another term.

Biden is leading in the polls and votes.

Europe is going into lockdown.

C0VlD-19 is beginning its run in the 3rd World

Beware the ldes of March  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3bczScmRUE 

 

Here is an example of how Shakespeare is more predictive than 'the Simpsons' @Mohammad313Ali.

l posted this yesterday, Sunday, at 03:53 hours.

At 17:00 hours, we were stabbed-in-the-back by the Federal Reserve who slashed interest rates to near zero and other nefarious actions.

See why Shakespeare withstands the Tests-of-Time ?

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Today is Thursday, the 19th of March 2020 and it is the First Day of Spring 

Our universal solar heater will cross the Vernal Equinox at 23:50EDT

The days are noticably longer. ln my yard every crocus is up and blooming

ln this cold rain, under gray skies, in the soggy sod, on this

typically, miserable, quarantined day.

lt has to be climate change.

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Daughter: Dad, what does a cow say?

Dad:  A cow says 'moo.'

Daughter: What does a cat say?

Dad: A cat says 'meow.'

Daughter: What does a pig say?

Dad: A pig says 'oink.'

Daughter: What does a frog say?

Dad: A frog says 'croak.'

Daughter: What dos a dog say?

Dad: A dog says 'woof.'

Daughter: No, Dad. Our dog says 'meow.'

Dad: Now why would our dog say 'meow?'

Daughter: Because she has our cat in her mouth.

 

:sorry:"Yep . . . l stole this joke too. From a three year-old, via Steven Colbert on the radio."

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6 hours ago, Sirius_Bright said:

Busted

Yes, I've also heard when people have booked tickets to go to Birmingham, England and ended up in Alabama. Bengaluru and Bangkok is a bit harder to mistake though.

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47 minutes ago, Haji 2003 said:

For people who think that Crocs are too stylish.

^^^^^^^ When l first Iooked at the picture, the railing-like contours reminded me of my hospital bed last week.

Okay, maybe that is morbid, but it did.

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