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In the Name of God بسم الله
Inquisitor

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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On 11/13/2019 at 5:12 AM, hasanhh said:

:ranting: "l have been lied to."

lt is not even close to dawn and already we are 6 degrees below our record low temperature for this date.

Where is this global warming the liberals keep promising us?

As a historical footnote, we broke/set five cold weather records in less than 36 hours.

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WARNING:  Mydogynme Alert

Ahmed: brother, l hear you are looking to get marred.

Ali:  Yes, l am thinking as much.

Ahmed: Anyone catch your eye?

Ali: Yes, the one over there. You are younger than me. Do you remember her hair from grade school?

Ahmed: l believe so?

Ali:  Describe it, please.

Ahmed:  Like an orangutan's . . . errrrrr . . . orange.

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Now, l got this ShiaChat notification that someone -whoooo shall remain nameless- reacted to one of my Poor Jokes.

Clicking over, l see who it was.

Then l read the next few jokes --only one l remembered . . .

Then l got to the bottom . . .

And noticed that this is on page 1.

Now, whoever needs to start on page 1 of ShiaChat's Poor Jokes on a Saturday morning to fill up their day-  has a worse Life than l do.

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Sicario II deals with the possibility of Muslim terrorists coming over the border via Mexico. They have this shot 'proving' that such terrorists were in a border area. Looks like one of them had a dodgy compass.

IMG_1972.thumb.JPG.e86753b7c16352ee7ad1b25e75d16a33.JPG

 

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NEWS BULLETIN:

North Slope, Alaska.  Old Santa did a practice run for chr!stmas again this year when tragedy struck. Landing on the street near the housing units, a frieght truck slammed head-on into the reindeer and sleigh. While the deer we mostly killed a few survived. Rudolph the Red Nosed reindeer was unwedged from the rear axle by recovery crews. The truck driver explained that he thought the red nose was just another truck with a taillight out.

Edited by hasanhh
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Han Solo is steering the Falcon, with Master Yoda on board. He asks, “am I going the right way?”

Yoda replies, “off course, we are!”

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My grandfathers and their siblings were born in the 1880s and very early 1890s.

As they grew up, they were very religious: they worshipped their money.

But then, Congress created the Federal Reserve in 1913, and they began to pray for their money.

 

A dollar todays is less than 1 cent back then . (Of course, this is officially denied.)

Edited by hasanhh

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l've been invited to friend's place for Chanukka again this year.

l went last year. He and his brother had rented a restaurant for one evening.

So l get all cleaned up. My friend said l could wear a yamulke rather than a keffiyeh.

So he picks me up. We get there and he helps me in with my walker.

l get in the door and get my coat hung up when this woman comes up and say,

"You must be Hasan. Oh, do l have a girl for you!"

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Neighbor: "Hey Mariam. What's this out the window?"

His wife: "Oh, that is Aliyah our neighbor. She is back from vacation."

Neighbor: "Where'd they go."

His wife: "She went skiing in Canada. Hiram went hunting in November. They always had separate vacations."

Neighbor: "The way those two argue l bet they had separate honeymoons too."

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On 12/1/2019 at 5:05 PM, Haji 2003 said:

Sicario II deals with the possibility of Muslim terrorists coming over the border via Mexico. They have this shot 'proving' that such terrorists were in a border area. Looks like one of them had a dodgy compass.

IMG_1972.thumb.JPG.e86753b7c16352ee7ad1b25e75d16a33.JPG

 

Lol.. Reminds of the time I was staying in hostel and this exact scenario happened. A friend was too lazy to look out towards the mosque for the qibla and downloaded a mobile app for it instead. Ended up praying in the exact opposite direction.

We used to joke that his prayer would circumvent the planet before reaching Makkah from the other side :p 

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Two items @starlight

1] This reminds me of when l was little. About eight l guess. My one grandfather was showing me some electrical assembly. Since l was five l could repair a plug for a recepticle outlet. He said the male and female ends and l asked "why do they call them male and female?".

He didn't answer me.

l was a farm kid, too.

Ma always said l was a "dumb kid".

 

2] "let the circuits decide their own identities"  Did she say this because: a) she is a dumb liberal, or b) because she is a dumb girl??????

:D:grin:

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