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In the Name of God بسم الله
Inquisitor

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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I was searching for a video on Amazon and came across this review.

You have to admire this person's principles.

415513594_Screenshot2019-08-21at16_53_30.thumb.png.0e13992ce469185b49f993bf1e50811e.png

 

Edited by Haji 2003

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When l read this joke, l immediately thought of @Sumerian --one of ShiaChat's unabashed idealists.

"l asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Two years later l asked her to marry me. Both times she said no."

:rolleyes:"Nothing 'personal' brother, it is just that youthful idealism and worries are a little comical to me."

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6 minutes ago, hasanhh said:

When l read this joke, l immediately thought of @Sumerian --one of ShiaChat's unabashed idealists.

"l asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Two years later l asked her to marry me. Both times she said no."

:rolleyes:"Nothing 'personal' brother, it is just that youthful idealism and worries are a little comical to me."

bruv trust me alotta people call me naive and that.. I just think im optimistic and positive lol

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Fundamentalism.

Shia fundamentalist says: "Adulterers should be stoned!!

Sunni Fundamentalist says: "Let's go and stone some adulterers!"

Sufi Fundamentalist says: "Hey man, let's all smoke some weed and get stoned!"


(yes I know it is a terrible subject to joke about, astaghfirullah)

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I just read an article on "imaginary friends". Many children have them, especially if they do not watch a lot of television. Many have them in middle school and a few in high school.

l gotta get one of these.

I am tired of talking to Harvey here.

 

:rolleyes:

"Harvey" a movie with James Stewart and Jesse White.

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Got this email from my son's new school, [...] is obviously me hiding details, but still, the rest is gibberish.

Quote

 

Please note that school finishes at the normal time of 3.45pm today, Wednesday 4th September, and tomorrow, Thursday 5th September.  Parents collecting their son/daughter should meet them at [...].

On a Friday Year 7 Students finish at 3.05pm.  Students will receive their School Planner today which gives details of the school timetable, including Week 1 and Week 2 dates.  On a Tuesday of Week 1 parents will be informed by email if their son/daughter will be finishing at 3.05pm, rather than 3.45pm.

We hope that your child enjoys their first few days at [...].  Should you have any queries please do not hesitate to contact the school.

 

 

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Well, didn't know if I should put this in the joke place  or the dog appreciation place. I also hope I don't get kicked off Shia Chat. Lol. It's also one of the few places some folks might " appreciate " it.

so...we were discussing dog breeds and SG wanted to talk about Arabian Salukis.

I looked up some stuff on a Saluki forum and found this joke , which supposedly accurately describes your average Saluki's philosophy of life.

( First part)

" Three dogs, a Labrador retriever, a German Shepherd, and a Saluki died and went before God.

God asked the Labrador what she believed her purpose in life was.

She answered " I believe my purpose is to help my Master hunt for game and faithfully retrieve it in all all sorts of weather  so that he can provide for  our  family." 

God told her she was a good girl and to come sit at his feet.

Then God asked the Shepherd the same thing. 

The Sheperd replied, " I believe my purpose is to guard my Master and his family day and night, as well as his livestock and other property and possessions from any danger! I would lay down my life for them!"

God told the Shepherd he was a good boy and to come sit at his feet.

Then God repeated the question to the Saluki.

The Saluki looked up and said simply " I believe you are sitting in my chair".

 

( Second part)

Well, everyone laughed at that, but then my daughter just HAD to look at her husband and add:

" Why put that joke on the dog? Arabians of ALL SPECIES have that opinion of themselves. Sometimes you folks are just too much."

SG smiled sweetly at her and said , without missing a beat, " Apparently, my love, you have never met an Iranian."

 

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What not to have on your wall if you are an American police officer who is showing his house to a potential buyer who is African American. Unless you want to lose your job (which is what happened).

https://www.independent.co.United Kingdom/news/world/americas/ku-klux-klan-police-officer-application-michigan-charles-anderson-a9105116.html

untitled.jpg?width=1368&height=912&fit=b

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And another Milton Berle:

My wife asked me to go to the grocery and by a gallon of milk and six if they have avocados. So when l got back she asked me why l bought six gallons of milk. I reminded her that she said buy six if they have avocados, and they had avocados.

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53 minutes ago, Reza said:

Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Technically, Euclid's 5th Postulate says two straight lines are parallel if they do not intersect.

So, your quip should read: "...lt's a shame they'll never intersect."

:clap:

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