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Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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3 hours ago, Marbles said:

 

Inferiority complex it is. 

Cultural curiosity question: why would any person of your ancient and important heritage want to ever be anything else? Inferior to what?!  I had to spend lots of time in World History when I was a kid ( even back in the really bad old Euro-Centric days) reading about India and your part of the world. The color plates were pretty impressive. 

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On 5/30/2017 at 3:59 AM, LeftCoastMom said:

Cultural curiosity question: why would any person of your ancient and important heritage want to ever be anything else? Inferior to what?!  I had to spend lots of time in World History when I was a kid ( even back in the really bad old Euro-Centric days) reading about India and your part of the world. The color plates were pretty impressive. 

It relates to questions of statehood and cultural identity that arose in the wake of Partition in 1947. For centuries we were Indians with roots in Indo-Persian Muslim culture. This changed when we left India to forge a new identity based on the two-winged, newly-minted state of Pakistan. That's when we were forced to confront questions of identity.

If we are no longer Indian, are we then part of the Persianate world? Even though our language(s) and culture have been heavily influenced by Persianate world and we spoke Farsi as lingua franca for over 800 years, we had lost it to a new homegrown lingua franca (Urdu) long before the British consolidated India. The arrival of the British drove the final nail to our claims of being part of the Persianate world when English became the language of education and instruction.

We lost the Persianate heritage but we couldn't lose the Islamic identity, as it was the basis for the establishment of a new country. Islam became the primary marker of our identity but we needed to ground it in something. Our religious establishment turned towards the Arab world to seek answers and demanded the adoption of Arabic as the national language, taught in schools etc. Thus a new class of  Arab wannabes Al-Bakistanis was born. This debate gave rise to questions about whether we should be a politically secular country or a caliphate-type shariah-run state where religious scholars have the final word. The debate is still raging.

Amid all this, there were regional linguistic identities that took a stand against Urdu as the national language. It might be surprising to you, but Urdu is not native to Pakistan but to regions that fall in India. The percentage of Pakistanis who speak Urdu as their native language was less than 10% in the 1998 census. Provinces that came together to form the federation all have their own distinct languages(s).

To sum up, we don't have a commonly agreed upon language; we don't have a homogeneous ethnic population to make a nation; we don't have historical continuity of a country which could have helped us absorb multi-ethnic and multi-lingual smaller identities into a grand idea of a nation (as in India). If we have none of that, than how are we a country and what justification do we have to be a country? What is Pakistan then?

I'm sorry for the long ramble, but I hope I'm able to show the faultlines around which our questions of identify and its concomitant inferiority complexes come from. Apparently it matters little if we are home to the world's most ancient civilisations (Moenjodaro, Harappa, Gandhara Buddhist civilsation etc). We are not ready to own any of those because for Muslims history starts only from 7th CE onwards.

 

Edited by Marbles

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^ Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me. I was aware of some of the issues but not all of them. I didn't imagine they had resulted in an inferiority complex, since the builders of those ancient civs were still your ancestors, regardless of your present religion. The Maya ,for example, are mostly Catholic today, but are proud as peacocks about those temple cities and the accomplishments of the civilization.

Edited by LeftCoastMom

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:ranting:  Now Back to the Poor-Jokes , "ya no good varmints" [Yosemite Sam]

 

[Elsewhere, in CyberSpace]  :keeporder: <--keep Hasan Calm, he is Fasting

 

l got an email from the end of the 21st Century in my no-time-exists.light account.

The PRC-HS-#7  [PRChina-House Support-Robot-Class 7] asked me what is the relationship between "text" and "textiles".

 

 

Edited by hasanhh

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How many existentialists does it take to screw on a light bulb?

Two - one to change the light bulb and one to observe how it symbolises an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in another world of cosmic nothingness.

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^^^^^ :clap:

Now for a really poor joke:

The people in the office were speculating on whether a romance would develop between to of the electrical engineers. He is from Perdue. She is from M.l.T.

"Not a chance", said the office manager. "They are  different voltages.****"

 

****You cannot join different voltages under most conditions. In your American house, you have 220V and 110V.

Yeah, so bad a joke  l send apologies to Milton Berle.

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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Muslims had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Muslim community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Muslim community. If the Muslims won, they could stay in Italy; and if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Muslim people met and picked an aged and wise Mufti to represent them in the debate. However, as the Mufti spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Arabic, they agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and Mufti sat opposite each other. The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Mufti looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The Mufti pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The Mufti pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Mufti was too clever. The Muslims could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God!  Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He beat me at every move and I could not continue!"

Meanwhile, the Muslim community gathered to ask the Mufti how he'd won. "I haven't a clue," the Mufti said. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Muslims and I told him that we were staying right here!"" And then what?" asked someone, "Who knows?" said the Mufti. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine".

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Loool @starlight this joke is most likely derived from Gargantua and Pantagruel, the 16th/17th century book by Rabelais. Pantagruel's has a clever-fool friend Thomaste who gets into a silent debate with the father of Church. Thomaste wins the debate and when he's asked how he did it he gives similarly foolish answers. You might want to check it out. It's a long episode spanning multiple pages and it's absolutely hilarious!

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Paki Medicine  Another Milton Berle:

Paki Wife:  What did the Doctor Say.

Paki Husband; He said l have the flu.

Paki Wife: Well, what did the doctor tell you to do?

Paki Husband: The Doc said, Stay quiet, drink plenty of fluids and get plenty of rest.

Paki Wife:  ln other words, YOUR typical weekend.

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Another Milton Berle:  modified

My cousin was always talkative. But in High School he developed  schizophrenia and became incomprehensible. So after college, he went into politics.

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OK, this is kinda sexist, but

 Now ask me again if l think women are hysterical and abusive towards children.

:D

According to ABC WNN, 12June17, the Mother was "trying to capture the moment when the baby says "momma" for the first time. As D.Macedo opined, the baby may never say it again.

 

:hahaha:

Edited by hasanhh

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On 2017-5-29 at 3:32 PM, Marbles said:

@starlight @Lover of Ahlulbait (ams) @Brained @Heavenly_Silk @Darth Vader @AnaAmmar1

LOL a fitting response to the Al-Bakistanis out there...

11.thumb.jpg.a0deff9558f2d03852cc79fbcf4ece48.jpg

22.thumb.jpg.7a79380d266ec55d322a64e3a7414cc5.jpg

 

Same thing happened with Moulavi Ismaeel Deobandi(I am not sure though), a revert shia, during a munaazra with a sunni Scholar. The sunni guy trapped him on the pronunciation of وَلاَ الضَّالِّينَ . He made a point by saying that you have read that word wrong and true pronunciation is close to د instead of zuaad.
To which Moulavi ismaeel said, "Ap ki biwi ko mard(مرض ) lag gia ha, us ka kuch kijiye".

Sunni guy became really mad.

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In a sermon he delivered at the Prophet’s Mosque in Medina last Friday, the progressive Imam She‎ikh Salah Al-Budair declared 

“I know that I will shock many people by saying this, but I think that women can indeed be admitted into Heaven. ,” the Imam preached. “ The Prophet said ‘No woman should travel except with a Mahram’. Ascending to heaven is the greatest trip in every good muslim’s existence. I don’t believe that the Prophet meant this trip to be an exception. I think that a woman can get into Heaven, as long as she’s accompanied by a man of her family. This, of course, implies that at least one man in her family needs to be admitted himself…”

The real joke follows later

A group of conservative scholars and religious leaders from across Saudi Arabia, overseen by the country’s ministry of Islamic Affairs, signed a declaration condemning the Imam’s sermon as a blasphemy, and reaffirming that “only men are worthy of going to Heaven”.

 

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53 minutes ago, starlight said:

In a sermon he delivered at the Prophet’s Mosque in Medina last Friday, the progressive Imam She‎ikh Salah Al-Budair declared 

“I know that I will shock many people by saying this, but I think that women can indeed be admitted into Heaven. ,” the Imam preached. “ The Prophet said ‘No woman should travel except with a Mahram’. Ascending to heaven is the greatest trip in every good muslim’s existence. I don’t believe that the Prophet meant this trip to be an exception. I think that a woman can get into Heaven, as long as she’s accompanied by a man of her family. This, of course, implies that at least one man in her family needs to be admitted himself…”

The real joke follows later

A group of conservative scholars and religious leaders from across Saudi Arabia, overseen by the country’s ministry of Islamic Affairs, signed a declaration condemning the Imam’s sermon as a blasphemy, and reaffirming that “only men are worthy of going to Heaven”.

 

lol I totally understand this

woman: it's just a joke btw no need to get crazy

Edited by Muhajir

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