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In the Name of God بسم الله

Poor Jokes - [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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Yappy Neew Here

 

I ain't as Thunk as You Drink I am.

 

:dry: From 2000EST to 2400EST --except for CBS-- Fox, ABC and NBC are running 4 straight hours of New Year's Countdown.

 

#%&*^$ Don't these New York yidiots think we can tell time ?

Edited by hasanhh
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Morning time 

Wife : please give me the newspaper

 

Husband : oh, come on darling newspaper is a thing of the past . Be a sport . Take my iPad , it is all yours .

 

Wife takes tab and kills cockroach with it.

 

Husband faints ...

 

Moral-

Follow your wife.

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(salam)

 

Several dogs got together and decided to form a pack.

The first dog woofed, "Let's start introducing ourselves.My master calls me Rex. What do your masters call you?"

The second dog woofed, "My master calls me Sit"

The third dog woofed, "My master calls me Get-Down"

The fourth dog barked, "My master calls me Quiet."

And the fifth dog woofed, "My master calls me On-the-Papers."

Edited by hasanhh
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(salam)

 

Movies:

 

House of Horrors (1946)

 

"An insane sculptor sends the disfigured criminal he saved from drowning to kill the critics who denounced him."

 

 

School of Horrors (2015)

 

"An insane teacher sends the disfigured student he saved from drowning to kill the critics who denounce him."

 

 

Government of Horrors (continuous)

 

"An insane politician sends the police he saved from budget cuts to terrorize the people who criticize him."

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1.Put your wife in a room and lock it.
2. put your dog in other room and lock it.
3. open both rooms after 2-3 hours and see who is happy to see you, and who will BITE you.. lol.
 
 
Warning... Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals, who are now divorced and living happily with their dog.

 

 

Only " BrainUser "s like it. :D

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You can't be serious..?

Nevermind, I forgot this was a joke thread.

 

 

Keep in mind that the person who made this statement is himself a brown dude who once said that German blood has been pumping in his veins since he was born.

 

That explains all you need to know, no?

 

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(salam)

 

Politico, 28Jan15, 0846ESTupdate; "Homeland Security funding on the brink'

From a story on NPR this Tuesday:

The we-define-necessity-STASI sub-department HS will run out of money 27Feb15. As "essential personnel" they will remain on-the-job and get their back-pay later.

The vote is stalled on the Senate floor.

 

The joke? The gov't is the joke...... on US :mad:

 

So, when you check under your beds tonight, start getting into the habit of taking your handgun with you

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Girlfriend’s Problems with Boyfriend after Marriage

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 . Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems but it just doesn’t seem to work.
What can I do?

Signed,

———— Reply From IT Support ———

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system ­ ­.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulove­dme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Beer 6.1..
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to re install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
To summarize – Husband 1.0 is a great program You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!
IT SUPPORT DESK.

 

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:!!!:

 

NBC News is reporting today that undersea volcanic eruptions are linked to climate change.

 

:scream:  :lol:

 

Is this kinda some nefarious gov't intelligence test to see how really stew-pid we all is???????

 

There are volcanic eruptions on the moon Io.

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(salam)

 

Poll:  Do you believe there is more apathy in today's society?

 

 

:unsure:   1] I need to think about this.

 

:donno:   2] I'm not sure, l guess.

 

:excl:   3] Yes, there is.

 

:no:   4] No, there is not.

 

:o   5] I don't know and l don't care!

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I didn't look at all the previous posts so I hope this joke was not used.

 

I love Ramadan because it is the only month I get a date  every night.

It has been posted before.

You lose. Someone beat you to it. This defeat will haunt your nightmares.

You will be judged your entire life on the basis of this post.

Btw. Thanks for posting. It doesn't get old, this joke. :-)

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  • The title was changed to Poor Jokes - [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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