Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

[starlight 12,959]

Had a hearty laughter over this 

Archaeologists Embarrassed After Farmer Admits to Building 'Ancient' Stone Circle in 1990s

https://themindunleashed.com/2019/01/ancient-stone-circle-scotland-built-1990s.html?fbclid=IwAR0WBAs4Lii0Wc8y0Ui7zMowVUllcAFchORx-RfPcZ_p0_L0EwiRkiS-6x8

[Haji 2003 8,521]

Hotel in Hong Kong. OK there is a glass door, but still.

 

FWIW the hotel is in this area, which is quite trendy. So although you sleep next to the toilet, you pay US$150+ for the privilege.

Edited January 25, 2019 by Haji 2003

[aliyah21 231]

What do you call a Pakistani man with one hair left? 

Iqbal.

[Reza 10,632]

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 

A: Envelope.

[Haji 2003 8,521]

The following people supply graduates with gowns for their graduation ceremonies:

On their website, they have an FAQ section. 

You get the impression that this question is asked quite often and they are not very impressed by the people who ask it!

Quote

Q. I'm not sure what degree I am on.
A. Unfortunately, we are unable to tell you what you have been studying for, please ask your course tutor or the university or college registry.

 

[Vindemiatrix 777]

Mom: Hi Honey, So l tried to make a cake for your bake sale but it's burnt

Daughter: =( That's ok, Mom. Try again and double check the ingredients this time

Mom: Oh...I already tried again...it turned out even worse :/ 

Daughter: Oh Mom...you really suck at making things! lol

Mom: Well I suppose that's true, I did make you

Daughter :O

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

Edited May 2, 2019 by Simon the Canaanite

[aaaz1618 1,751]

"...While we're on the subject
of disappointment Claire, I left a hairball in your Louboutins...

Oh, and I'm seeing a Consultant in Endocrinology for cat food from now on. My lawyer will send the papers, just do the decent thing and sign Claire, okay?"

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

A little bit long, but you get it..

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

• Squidward: Let me guess, tiny, a small salad?

• Bubble Bass: I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.

• Squidward: We serve food here, sir.

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

 

 

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

The New Gaddafi:

@Sumerian @Ruqaya101 @Gaius I. Caesar @Ibn Al-Ja'abi @2Timeless @7ssein @OrthodoxTruth  

Edited May 3, 2019 by Simon the Canaanite

[7ssein 252]

1 hour ago, Simon the Canaanite said:

The New Gaddafi:

@Sumerian @Ruqaya101 @Gaius I. Caesar @Ibn Al-Ja'abi @2Timeless @7ssein @OrthodoxTruth  

Zenga zenga dar dar

[Haji 2003 8,521]

Quote

In 2014 inspections of products sold in Walmart found that one supplier was selling fox meat instead of donkey meat as on the package.

 

Rein, Shaun. The End of Cheap China : Economic and Cultural Trends That Will Disrupt the World, John Wiley & Sons, Incorporated, 2014. 

[Gaius I. Caesar 8,080]

 

@2Timeless @Heavenly_Silk @Haji 2003

Edited May 9, 2019 by Gaius I. Caesar

[aaaz1618 1,751]

Danny Drinkwater notes to self, no more alcohol before driving, just drink water Danny. 

 

[Hussaini1912 134]

On 4/5/2014 at 9:24 PM, Ali-F said:

 

This is shirk.

take it easy its a joke..... a thread for jokess guys

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

“That moment when SpongeBob and Patrick roasted an entire state.”

Edited May 15, 2019 by Simon the Canaanite

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

This is the funniest fight I’ve seen so far. It seems to be one of those, "If you laugh; you go to hell" scenes.

In sum, there was a fight right before the people broke their fast over food, in Medina.

 

[Simon the Canaanite 0]

 

 

[aaaz1618 1,751]

Someone said that Bahá'í is a strange faith that wants to be all things to all people.

Well, we have a saying for that, they want their fingers in all pahái's.

[Haji 2003 8,521]

Innocence

 

My nephew had happy early days

No knowledge, no understanding or dread

Of what was to come

The knife of circumcision

 

My father-in-law visiting his son

Knows not that the other side are due to come

And then he’ll be turfed

To my mum’s

[Haji 2003 8,521]

People protesting against meat eating were met by a chap with this sign:

[hasanhh 8,361]

Another Milton Berle:

 

I googled my name, hasanhh, and there is another "hasanhh" out there that is dumb as a rock.

[Heavenly_Silk 3,453]

[hasanhh 8,361]

7 hours ago, Heavenly_Silk said:

So what was his mother's reaction when he told her?

[Heavenly_Silk 3,453]

3 hours ago, hasanhh said:

So what was his mother's reaction when he told her?

She told him that he should’ve taken a leaf out of brother hasanhh’s book. :p 

[Gaius I. Caesar 8,080]

9 minutes ago, Heavenly_Silk said:

She told him that he should’ve taken a leaf out of brother hasanhh’s book. :p 

But according to the Gospel of Hasanhh, he committed the sin of being 'marred".  

[Vindemiatrix 777]

"If you can handle my face at Fajr, I'll know it's true love" 

~Sheikhspeare

[hasanhh 8,361]

7 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

But according to the Gospel of Hasanhh, he committed the sin of being 'marred".  

Yep, sometimes stupidity is a 'sin'.

[Heavenly_Silk 3,453]

[hasanhh 8,361]

Teacher: "This is not a good paper. You had three weeks to write this. So your grade is a D-.

Student: "But I put my heart and soul into this paper."

Teacher: "You should have used some study time."

[Chef 12]

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.

[Heavenly_Silk 3,453]