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In the Name of God بسم الله

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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From CNN -01Feb16

JEB "Jusy-End-it-Bro" Bush flew from Iowa to New Hampshire tonight...

Gets off the plane...

And asks a New Hampshirite "to caucus" for him.

{ Voters caucus in Iowa, but vote in primaries in New Hampshire next week.}

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I read a Jewish joke the other day (it went something along the lines of:) A rabbi and a taxi driver arrive at the gates of heaven, an angel comes to greet them and immediately ushers the taxi dr

two sodium atoms walking down a street   atom 1: oh no.... searching his pockets...... i lost an electron atome 2: are you sure? atom 1: i am positive.

Told in the mosque by the imam: A flood came and a man climbed a tree. A truck came by and offered the man a ride and the man said, "no thanks, Allah will help me". The water rose and a boat

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My sister got this Manx from some woman because the kitten kept attacking that woman's 2 or 3 year old. So my sister gave it to me.

In the first year of life, these cats a super energetic. Literally, they run up the curtains. Look like a blur tearing through the house.

This one would jump from the floor to the top of the door and when l'd walk by jump onto my head. Ouch.

The second hardest prayer I ever did was because of this "tear-or-ist". I'm doing raka and this cat thinks "play time".

Praying with my eyes open I could see the tear-or-ist positioning himself. Doing the second set, he jumps at me, runs around my head and shoulders and then digs his claws into my face and just hangs on "for the ride" as I do the last three sets.

Then when I am all done, he lets go and runs into the other room. I went to the mirror for a damage assessment and all l had, ahhammduallah, was a couple of marks that looked like hangnails.

But a Manx is an unusually smart cat. Whenever it was time for fard, the cat would run into my little masjid and wait. I about never got the door closed first.

Thereafter, this tear-or-ist would jump onto my back and hang onto my collar, which was painless.

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On ‎2‎/‎2‎/‎2016 at 10:43 PM, hasanhh said:

From CNN -01Feb16

JEB "Jusy-End-it-Bro" Bush flew from Iowa to New Hampshire tonight...

Gets off the plane...

And asks a New Hampshirite "to caucus" for him.

{ Voters caucus in Iowa, but vote in primaries in New Hampshire next week.}

Now he is in New Hampshire traveling with his Mommy.

Just the man to take on ISlL  :hahaha:

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On ‎2‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 7:16 AM, Marbles said:

This is apparently true.

Someone asked the Governor of Texas back in the 1940s if they could teach French to the Texas schoolchildren, to which he replied emphatically, "No, absolutely not;, if English was good enough for Jesus then it is good enough for our Texas schoolchildren." 

No, this ain't no joke:

Back in 47/48 during an Israeli and Arab conflict, the US ambassador to the UN in a UNSC speech asked, "Why can't you Jews and Arabs get along like good chr!stians?"

l think that is the exact quote -a long time since I saw it (the film) or re-read it.

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Our DREAM presidential candidate has just entered the race for the white house:

I. B. Watson will announce its bid shortly.

http://www.pcworld.com/article/3031137/forget-trump-and-clinton-ibms-watson-is-running-for-president.html 

 

A Revolution all of U.S. can believe in.

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From: Dr. Timothy Johnson's "Medical Minute"

--or is that minute as in minutia ?

Doctors are trying to answer the question: (Does) Winter Make You Dumber ?

Doing the usual brain scans, test taking, puzzle-problem skills, and other tests, the answer still eludes the medical profession.

"I maybe wrong but it seems to me" (to steal a byline) that dumbness is not a seasonal thing, I guess ...

...maybe...

or I just hear too much television and watch too much news.

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27 minutes ago, Marbles said:

Sister: I'm on Islamic diet.

Me: What's that?! :einstein:

Sister: I eat then I make dua I lose weight.

You joke, but with all the "please give me a du'a for..." threads that we get, I'm sure that some people probably think that there is a supplication to loose weight.

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12 minutes ago, Ali_Hussain said:

You joke, but with all the "please give me a du'a for..." threads that we get, I'm sure that some people probably think that there is a supplication to loose weight.

Apparently we have duas that cure diabetes and cancer. So why not one about obesity!?

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2 minutes ago, Marbles said:

Apparently we have duas that cure diabetes and cancer. So why not one about obesity!?

I don't want to derail the thread, but people who aren't willing to help themselves shouldn't place all their hopes in a miracle.

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