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In the Name of God بسم الله

Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]

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I read a Jewish joke the other day (it went something along the lines of:) A rabbi and a taxi driver arrive at the gates of heaven, an angel comes to greet them and immediately ushers the taxi dr

two sodium atoms walking down a street   atom 1: oh no.... searching his pockets...... i lost an electron atome 2: are you sure? atom 1: i am positive.

Told in the mosque by the imam: A flood came and a man climbed a tree. A truck came by and offered the man a ride and the man said, "no thanks, Allah will help me". The water rose and a boat

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Who says Computer Engineers cannot understand women?

Ask a Computer Engineer which is better, a wife or a girlfriend, and he will answer "both".

Why? Because when he is not home, his wife believes he is with his girlfriend, and when he is not with his girl friend, she believes he is home.

That way he can work at his computer and not be disturbed.

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1 hour ago, Haji 2003 said:

 

Marriage advice for Arab girls. Find a Pakistani/Indian spouse. When you get into an argument with your mother-in-law, she'll quietly listen with respect because she'll think you're reciting the Qur'an.

There is a variation.

A Pakistani guy went to Saudi Arabia. In a letter to his family he wrote,"people here are soooo pious that every time I ask them something they start reciting the Quran."

Edited by Marbles
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What a bad weekend.

Early Sunday morning, I am trying to drive home in this thick fog. Couldn't see anything.

I'm on the circle freeway --those highways that encircle cities-- trying to find a gas station that is open.

I go all the way around once.

Then twice.

I thought, "No use, pull over and wait until one opens."

So about 0900, the one I am at, the proprietor comes-in to work.

Finally, I can get my tire fixed.

:Furious: <----You destroyed the rim of your wheel. How can you be so ______?

 

:threatenlumber:  <---- I'm waiting for my turn.!

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A Russian man went for an eye check up. The doctor showed the letters on the board: CZVSKTAZEKY

Doctor: Can you read this?

Russian: Read?? I even know the guy...he's my cousin.

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On 12/12/2015 at 10:38 AM, Haji 2003 said:

Looked like Polish to me.

You raised an extremely crucial and valid point, this certainly changes the entire context of the joke in question. 

Dang!!! how come I missed it? 

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8 minutes ago, hameedeh said:

CZVSKTAZEKY in google translate detects Czech language. :shifty:

To be honest, my Polish and Czech are not as good as my Russian. So while I was sure it was not Russian I only said it 'looks like' Polish.

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1 minute ago, Haji 2003 said:

To be honest, my Polish and Czech are not as good as my Russian. So while I was sure it was not Russian I only said it 'looks like' Polish.

Looked Greek to me. :grin:

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2 minutes ago, Marbles said:

While we ascertain the nationality of letters, the joke is lost :dry:

I liked your joke, Marbles. Although I didn't think it was poor. :) 

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Just now, Ali_Hussain said:

I'm not sure if this is a joke or what, something that I read the other day:

- Why have isis not attacked israel?

- For the same reason that they haven't attacked Iran 

 

Ummm looks a Sunni joke hallucinating about Israel's and Iran's partnership against "Islam." 

There was a famous banner put up by some Jihadists that read: "For Isreal to fall Iran has to fall first."

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15 minutes ago, Marbles said:

While we ascertain the nationality of letters, the joke is lost :dry:

The joke was lost when you got it nearly right. I am not the first person to point out that the nationality is important here. Someone made the same mistake as you on reddit and got the same response as I gave you:

Quote

You should do this with a Polish or a Czech instead. Would be more stereotypical.

See the 'joke' is that Polish uses lots of consonants. If you want to stick with the Russian, this version this works better:

Quote

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up.

The Doctor shows the letters on the board: HETCEKCACEBODHA

Doctor: Can you read this ?

Russian: Hey, I only came here to check my eyes! Who are you to tell me that I can't have sex today?!?

1

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2xk9nv/a_russian_visiting_the_usa_went_for_an_eye_check/

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1 hour ago, Marbles said:

While we ascertain the nationality of letters, the joke is lost :dry:

 

The joke was lost when you made it Russian. Polish names are a mess of consonants. Thats the key behind the joke. Russian names are beautiful and flow very nicely; they generally don't have a bunch of consonants in quick succession.

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