Poor Jokes - [OFFICIAL THREAD]

[Haji 2003]

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

15 hours ago, Haji 2003 said:

 

 

King Leopold II of Belgium  : The Congolese killer

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[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

Cheating during an ethics exam ...

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US regulators fined EY a record $100mn in June after hundreds of staff shared answers or cheated on an ethics exam and the firm then failed to report the violations.

https://www.ft.com/content/4c49d3f4-c17e-449f-a8d8-0e799540053c

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

Doctor: You have no magnesium.

Me: 0mg

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

Top five reasons to procrastinate:

1. 

[Haji 2003]

Wait until you hear about the girl at our local school identifying as a cat and boy who got suspended for barking at her. I know it's hard to believe but it is true.

... from twitter

[Ashvazdanghe]

'Phenomenally bright' teen identifies as a CAT, school permits it as long as it doesn't 'distract others'
By Srinija Grandhi
Published on : 02:25 PST, Aug 21, 2022
'Phenomenally bright' teen identifies as a CAT, school permits it as long as it doesn't 'distract others'
 

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA: A teenage girl has started identifying herself as a cat and her private school in Melbourne encourages her "animal behavior." Despite being called "phenomenally bright," the 7th Grade student does not speak during class, The Herald Sun reported.

According to a parent, the girl was permitted to act like a cat at school as long as it did not distract her or the other students. In its statement, the school, however, declined to confirm the student's behavior but stated that its support team was dealing with a number of psychological issues.

https://meaww.com/phenomenally-bright-teen-at-melbourne-private-school-identifies-as-a-cat

 

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     warned you guys about this.
    Teacher alleged she was fired for not meowing back at student who identifies as a cat https://t.co/L0UEBUFj3p
    — Libs of Tik Tok (@libsoftiktok) January 16, 2022

    G’morning We’ve reached the pinnacle of Insanity! A substitute teacher was fired, after refusing to meow at a student that identifies as a cat By not meowing back at the student, she somehow oppressed him. I’m convinced they’re trying to suck us up into their world of crazy
    — Domenica D'Elia (@domenicadelia22) January 18, 2022

 

https://www.newsweek.com/fact-check-was-teacher-fired-not-meowing-back-student-who-identifies-cat-1672597

[Ashvazdanghe]

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https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/school-life/furries-australia-year-8-melbourne-private-school-girl-identifies-as-a-cat/news-story/04f31c482d0701cc1b42e047b5bcfce2

 

Michigan school accused of installing litter boxes for students who identify as cats

A Michigan school has responded to sensational claims that it was installing litter boxes in bathrooms for students who identify as cats and dogs.

Little boxes have never been inside Midland Public Schools and are not being used by pupils, the district's superintendent clarified in a statement to concerned parents on Thursday, January 20, to dispel rumors on social media.

https://meaww.com/michigan-school-litter-boxes-students-cats-viral

'Furry' couple had sex with 15-year-old Pennsylvania boy after grooming him to be their 'pet': Police

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HANOVER, PENNSYLVANIA: A Pennsylvania couple is reportedly facing charges after allegedly engaging in a sordid sexual relationship with a teenager.

The victim was just 15 years old when Jacob Becker and Emily Javins of 5 Forrest Circle, Hanover allegedly began engaging in sex acts with him, the New York Post reports.

The victim's father alerted the authorities after discovering suspicious conversations on Facebook Messenger his son was having with a woman on a laptop computer at the home. It was later found the woman in question was 22-year-old Emily Javins, per court documents.

According to the report, the victim told police during questioning that Javins is a "furry" who takes on the persona of a cat during the sessions. Meanwhile, the victim was allegedly forced to take on a goat's persona while Becker dominated them both.

Police interviewed Javins and learned she met the victim, who cannot be named for legal reasons, during a game of Dungeons and Dragons

Furthermore, he admitted to the victim's "pet training" as part of "racy role-play", which saw the teenager being put on a leash and lead to a bowl so he could eat a piece of birthday cake.

Court documents also show Becker admitting to sending the boy nude photos and videos.

Becker and Javins were charged with the corruption of minors and held on a $20,000 bail for each

https://meaww.com/furry-couple-charged-grooming-15-year-old-boy-pet-sex-racy-role-play-pennsylvania

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[Ashvazdanghe]

Herald Sun story about schoolgirl identifying as a cat goes viral but lacks evidence

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It's not the first time such a story has gone viral online.

The Herald Sun has claimed that "students are being allowed to act out animal identities in schools in a bid to support their mental health needs," in an article that's gone viral - but is there any proof?

The piece from Susie O'Brien claimed that a Year 8 student at a Melbourne private school "identifies as a cat, and as long as she does her school work, the school is supporting her assumed identity."

    "Although she is “phenomenally bright”, she is understood not to be verbal at school."

The article's only proof was "a source close the family," who said that "no one seems to have a protocol for students identifying as animals, but the approach has been that if it doesn’t disrupt the school, everyone is being supportive."

The school was not named, but the piece has made its way around social media - being picked up by United Australia Party senator Ralph Babet & former Conservatives senator Cory Bernardi among many others.

Earlier this year, another News Corp paper - the Courier Mail - reported on cat-identifying students at Brisbane Girls Grammar (something the Herald Sun article mentioned in their article, saying "the school did not corroborate the account") which was debunked by the ABC's Media Watch at the time.

And in January, it was claimed that a Michigan school provided litter boxes for students identifying as cats, something also debunked.

RATING: NO EVIDENCE

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/school-life/furries-australia-year-8-melbourne-private-school-girl-identifies-as-a-cat/news-story/04f31c482d0701cc1b42e047b5bcfce2

[Haji 2003]

The Spotter

I'm not into weights but I understand that the dude standing up is supposed to help the bench presser at any sign of trouble.

Fact that we have gotten this far and he's not done anything ...

A couple of comments from the Twitterati:

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He’s an emotional support spotter

 

And

 

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Damn in black history month too ?

 

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

Meanwhile in Ashrafieh, Beirut

 

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

One of the best ever ratios

 

 

[Haji 2003]

UK Prime Minister is Hindu & the newly elected Scottish Nationalist leader is Muslim ...

 

[Hameedeh]

Whoever invented Autocorrect should burn in Hello. 

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

 

 

[Haji 2003]

Jewish IDF soldier protects Israeli 'Muslim' soldier while he 'prays'

People are asking what's going on here, and that's my interpretation.

[Ashvazdanghe]

On 4/15/2023 at 7:48 PM, Haji 2003 said:

Jewish IDF soldier protects Israeli 'Muslim' soldier while he 'prays'

People are asking what's going on here, and that's my interpretation.

Former IDF soldier joins Islamic State in Syria | The Times of Israel

Saudi magazine praises Arab Israelis who serve in IDF

"It's a great honor to hold a weapon in one hand and the Quran in the other to defend my homeland, Israel," says one young soldier interviewed by Al Majalla.

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The article mentions Arab Israeli opposition to members of the community enlisting in the IDF, quoting former MK Hanin Zoami, who said, "Israel aspires to enlist the poor and the unemployed to work in the army. Ninety percent of the Arabs who serve in the Israeli army aren't necessary to the defense of Israel. It's a political issue."

https://www.israelhayom.com/2022/07/13/saudi-magazine-cover-praises-arab-israelis-who-serve-in-idf/

https://en.majalla.com/node/237956/politicsexclusive-idf-–-‘our-mission-enlist-many-israeli-arabs-we-can’

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.timesofisrael.com%2Fformer-idf-soldier-joins-islamic-state-in-syria%2F&psig=AOvVaw2B9JGlb42QhpDLzM9ccYPZ&ust=1681813498396000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CBAQjhxqFwoTCLDg0uTZsP4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAS

Arab-Bedouin citizens of Israel

https://www.adalah.org/en/tag/index/563

 

[AbdusSibtayn]

[Hameedeh]

On 4/15/2023 at 11:18 AM, Haji 2003 said:

Jewish IDF soldier protects Israeli 'Muslim' soldier while he 'prays'

People are asking what's going on here, and that's my interpretation.

The kneeling soldier is holding his hands like a Christian?

[Haji 2003]

33 minutes ago, Hameedeh said:

The kneeling soldier is holding his hands like a Christian?

I took it that he is pretending to be a Muslim and getting his hand signals all mixed up. But perhaps an alternative interpretation is that he's a Christian and getting it right - is that what you are saying?

[Hameedeh]

5 hours ago, Haji 2003 said:

I took it that he is pretending to be a Muslim and getting his hand signals all mixed up.

That was my interpretation as well. The journalist who thought the kneeling soldier was a Muslim probably got it wrong. 

[Ashvazdanghe]

13 hours ago, Haji 2003 said:

I took it that he is pretending to be a Muslim and getting his hand signals all mixed up. But perhaps an alternative interpretation is that he's a Christian and getting it right - is that what you are saying?

 

Salam presence of Muslims from Arab bedouins & Christian & Druze people in IDF is not a strange thing which all of them believe to Zionism which all three came from main tribe of Banu Kalb which mother of cursed Yazid & wife of cursed Muawiyah has been from it's christian branch which some of them pretended to become muslims which even in sunni sources  about cursed Sufyani  it has been mentioned that his maternal uncles will be from Banu Kalb which they will pretend to following Isalm which Sufyani will be preted that he is a muslim while will be a crypto Christian-zionist anyway all of Banu kalb are not evil people which enemies of Bashar Asad from radical Sunnis have accused him that he is Sufyani due to that he has been from tribe of Banu Kalb.

14 hours ago, Hameedeh said:

The kneeling soldier is holding his hands like a Christian?

According to  Sunni sites

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Then a person from Quraish will appear whose maternal uncle will be from Banu Kalb. This evil man (with the help of his maternal uncles) will send an army to fight a battle against Sayyiduna Imam Mahdi. The army of Imam Mahdi will defeat them. (Abu Dawood, vol.4, pp. 145, Hadees 4286; summarised. Mirat-ul-Manajih, vol.7, pp267-269.; summarised)

https://www.dawateislami.net/magazine/en/islamic-beliefs-and-information/imam-mehdi

https://ghayb.com/tag/bani-kalb/page/2/

https://qurananswers.me/2016/12/26/end-times-prophecies-surrounding-arabia-shaam-and-the-east/

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

8 hours ago, Hameedeh said:

That was my interpretation as well. The journalist who thought the kneeling soldier was a Muslim probably got it wrong. 

The dwellers of the desert are very hard in unbelief and hypocrisy, and more disposed not to know the limits of what Allah has revealed to His Apostle; and Allah is Knowing, Wise. (97)

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And from among those who are round about you of the dwellers of the desert there are hypocrites, and from among the people of Medina (also); they are stubborn in hypocrisy; you do not know them; We know them; We will chastise them twice then shall they be turned back to a grievous chastisement (101)

https://tanzil.net/#trans/en.shakir/9:97

https://tanzil.net/#trans/en.shakir/9:101

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 And of the dwellers of the desert are those who believe in Allah and the latter day and take what they spend to be (means of) the nearness of Allah and the Apostle's prayers; surely it shall be means of nearness for them; Allah will make them enter into His mercy; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. (99)

https://tanzil.net/#trans/en.shakir/9:99

[Haji 2003]