Poor Jokes - [OFFICIAL THREAD]

[Haji 2003]

[Guest]

1.Twitter is so fun these days 

2. Imran Khan's government should stop oppressing shias.  It would never succeed. :P

 

[Haji 2003]

Quote

Un touriste suisse originaire du Valais a eu la mauvaise idée de brancher son four à raclette sur la prise électrique d’un TGV circulant sur la ligne ferroviaire Genève-Lyon. Le courant important consommé par l’appareil a généré une défaillance inattendue du système de sécurité électrique entraînant en cascade la paralysie de tous les trains circulant sur le réseau ferroviaire de la région Grand Est.

http://www.scienceinfo.fr/paralyse-reseau-ferroviaire-pendant-plusieurs-heures-tentant-de-brancher-four-a-raclette-prise-electrique-dun-tgv/

 

Translation:

A Swiss tourist from Valais had the bad idea of plugging his raclette oven into the electrical outlet of a TGV running on the Geneva-Lyon railway line. The large current consumed by the device generated an unexpected failure of the electrical safety system causing a cascade of paralysis of all trains running on the rail network of the Grand Est region.

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

Iraq lady calls a London radio station about asylum seekers, this is after the Liverpool bombing by a middle easterner who had recently converted to Christianity.

She tells the host that people do this so that they won't be sent back. And then she says another reason people use so they won't be returned to the Middle East is to claim that they are gay.

And some people claim to be both Christian and gay ...

 

[Haji 2003]

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

In Brtain there are groups of anti-vaxxers who visit hospitals claiming that the staff are committing a crime. They claim to be common law constables and rely on the Magna Carta and various other historical documents to back their bogus claims.

This comedian sums them up perfectly:

 

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

Marine Le Pen wants to exclude foreign words from the French language - should change her name to Marine Le Stylo

 

[Haji 2003]

Kudatah is coup d'état in English ...

 

[Haji 2003]

Women's rights

 

[Haji 2003]

https://twitter.com/eliasmezacota/status/1498554229719453701?s=21

[Haji 2003]

Indian news anchor goes ballistic at the wrong guy

 

[Haji 2003]

Look who posted this

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1503287788652871680

 

[Diaz]

On 3/4/2022 at 1:44 PM, Haji 2003 said:

Indian news anchor goes ballistic at the wrong guy

 

This is not the first time, I’m not sure how he became a journalist 

https://twitter.com/MnshaP/status/1273434347731709952?s=20&t=mvJNNhUUHR-u_WZWU3LC0Q

[Haji 2003]

^ usually we don't allow music and dancing, but I am not sure whether what we are seeing counts.

@Hameedeh will be a better judge.

[Mod Note: tiktok video above this post was removed; no music/dancing videos allowed.]

 

Edited March 15, 2022 by Hameedeh
Mod Note

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

[123SlaveOfAllah]

Accidentally ate shawarma 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tVMewt88U-U

[realizm]

On 4/4/2022 at 3:05 AM, 123SlaveOfAllah said:

Accidentally ate shawarma 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tVMewt88U-U

OMG this got me laughing hard at work. 

[Haji 2003]

The way that Twitter seems to work is that the ads you get to see depend on your 'interests'.

The problem with this is that just because someone comments on Islamic topics does not mean to say that they are positively inclined towards the faith.

So all these people who hate Islam are now getting Zakat ads on their Twitter timeline.

 

[Guest Guest 123]

 

[Haji 2003]

British Museum coming back from holiday

 

[Hameedeh]

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun had gone, then it dawned on me. 

[Haji 2003]

https://twitter.com/DidKissingerD1e/status/1527482043675734016?s=20&t=KO33zTVDmsKBMKahlI6AKw

[Haji 2003]

Age verification

[Haji 2003]

Ryanair test for travellers from Europe to South Africa

The test is to prove whether people who claim to be South Africans really are from the country.

Only problem I can see is that anyone who speaks English, with a bit of imagination can work out the questions and the answers need no knowledge of Afrikaans (the language of apartheid).

 

[Haji 2003]

Are you sweating whilst putting fuel in your car? Feeling sick when paying?

You have got the carownervirus