Poor Jokes - [OFFICIAL THREAD]

[hasanhh]

Got this from the radio & adapted it.

lntroducing Notme's Certified Organic Apples.

She can certified that they's 0rganic because

she sat there all year watching them grow. 

 "Yep, this is a Pour Joke."

[hasanhh]

What was the original hacking job?

A sharpened rock, later on a stick. (stone axe)

[hasanhh]

l just saw this pharmaceutical commercial. Now this may only be funny to residents of the West, but here goes.

"Have a headache like a hangover?

Your vision blurry in the morning?

Trouble maintaining your balance?

Then try Psobriety."

[Haji 2003]

 

[hasanhh]

 "AAhhhhhh . . . l do not believe it ! "

 "Angry Dwarf is right . . . terrible."

 "l am going to be sick over this oversight."

 "Well here it is now. Dredged from the bowels of Shi'aChat."

Our annual, only once a year, Ramadhan joke:

Ramadhan is the only time l can get a date.

[hasanhh]

lt is Monday morning.

Ashvazdanghe is the first to react to the above, Thursday evening joke.

l guess this thread is appropriately entitled "Poor Jokes" because these jokes are so 'bad' nobody reads them.

[Haji 2003]

 

[Guest Dollars]

She said: I haven't planted any flowers or vegetables this year.

Her friend said: Why not?

She said: My husband hasn't botany.  

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

[Sirius_Bright]

 

[Haji 2003]

[ShiaChat Mod]

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

You rocket! 

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

 

[Guest]

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

[Zane Ibrahim]

(Assalamualaikum)

(EID MUBARAK!!)

There was a rabbi who had students. They would ask him their questions, but he would always respond with another question.

The students became fed up with this and asked the rabbi:

"How come you always answer our questions with a question?"

The rabbi responded: 

"How would you like me to answer?"

Wassalam.

(EID MUBARAK!!)

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

[Ali_Hussain]

[Haji 2003]

[Marbles]

[Haji 2003]

 

[Haji 2003]

I remember working this out on school trips to Germany. The British 5p piece was the same size as the German 1DM (pre Euro), but a fraction of the value.

Vending machines could not tell the difference.

This tweet is from someone who served with the British Army of the Rhine - seems as if they were using vending machines on an industrial scale.

 

[Abdul-Hadi]

Two young boys and a little girl were riding in a car with their grandfather when a firetruck passed them, and in the front seat the saw a dalmatian dog and the children began speculating on what the firemen used the dog for. The first little boy said "They use him as a mascot, for good luck". The second little boy said "No way, they use him to sniff out people in burning buildings".

The little girl piped up from the backseat: "You're both wrong, the reason that doggy is there is because he leads them to the fire hydrants"

[Haji 2003]

[Haji 2003]

Only about 1 in 20 Americans could find Afghanistan on the map. But about half of those work for Department Of Defense.

[Haji 2003]

Quote

Les divergences entre l'ISKP et les talibans sont nombreuses, à la fois sur le plan politique et idéologique. Leur religion est différente car le salafisme, de courant chiite, qu’ils prônent va à l’encontre de l’islam hanéfite traditionnel, de courant sunnite, prônés par les talibans. L’ISKP dénonce aussi l’accord de Doha, signé en février 2020 entre les talibans et les Etats-Unis, mettant en œuvre le retrait progressif des troupes américaines en Afghanistan.

https://www.cnews.fr/monde/2021-08-27/attentats-de-kaboul-quest-ce-que-letat-islamique-du-khorasan-qui-revendique-les

Translation:

The differences between the ISKP (ISIS-K) and the Taliban are numerous, both politically and ideologically. Their religion is different because the Salafism, of the Shiite current, which they advocate, goes against the traditional Hanafi Islam, of the Sunni current, advocated by the Taliban. ISKP also denounces the Doha agreement, signed in February 2020 between the Taliban and the United States, implementing the gradual withdrawal of American troops in Afghanistan.

[Haji 2003]

 

 

^ For non-Urdu speakers the joke is that she has no idea of sports car racing and is surprised that the car only has one person, she thinks that once it has proven itself, they'll build bigger cars for more people ...

[Haji 2003]

Just saw someone doing a lateral flow test on a train and it’s fair to say we’re all anxiously awaiting the results now

[Haji 2003]

Pretending I have covid so I can treat my horse worms.

[Haji 2003]