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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Some of you maybe watching the MeTV old program channel, and have seen "Superman" with George Reeves. Good program.

So, in a parody of the opening:


"Faster than a speeding bullet.


More powerful than a locomotive.


Able to leap tall buildings n a single bound.


Look....up in the sky.!


It's a bird?


It's a plane?




It's 'Yes we -can' !"



Edited by hasanhh
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Warning: Many May Find This Offensive



lSlL and Islamic State University have announced the addition of a new online course for the Summer Curricular Classes:


ARCH 101: Cultural Appreciation

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Recently in Delhi there was a play based on the novel "Waiting For Godot". The organisers created a hype that Naseruddin shah was to play the role of Godot, since he is an actor of high stature all the tickets were quickly sold out , which otherwise might not have. And the best part is that when people watched the play they realised that they were fooled with an honest lie since the character of Godot never returns.

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Goha:  Ahmad, I want to bomb this target with my new political group. How...can l do this without being declared a terrorist organization?


Ahmad:  Put a guidance package on it and then drop it from a plane.

Edited by hasanhh
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Abadanis are the lovely people from Khuzestan, who are known for exaggerating themselves, their city, their everything. 

The city of Abadan is on an island in the middle of Arvand river (also known as Shatt ul Arab).


So I meet this Abadani guy, and tell him: You lucky people, living by the water. With the weather so hot throughout the year, I bet you swim at least once every week.

He gives me this look: Nah, bro. Swimming's no fun without sharks.


Same guy, I ask him if he's ever been to Tehran. 

Again that look: Nah, never been to the suburbs bro.


As this conversation was happening, two criminals were about to be executed in Tehran, a Tehruni and an Abadani.

The Tehruni is wailing like mad.

The executioner is really annoyed, tells him to shut up.

Abadani intervenes: Bro! It's his first time, take it easy.


Talking of death, two Abadanis meet. 

One says: Wish you were there, bro. Yesterday, I hunted seven rabbits, five deer and three lions. 

Second: That's it?!

First: Come on, bro! How many did you expect me to kill with just one bullet?

Second: And you even had a gun?!


Tehruni, Esfahani, Shirazi and Abadani all in a coffee shop (yes, this is the ultimate jokestan). 

Tehruni: I'm feeling pretty rich, I think I'll buy a bank.

Esfahani: I'm overflowing with money too; I'm buying Mercedes Benz.

Shirazi: I'm a wealthy prince and will purchase Microsoft and Apple - both.

They all look at the Abadani.

He sits calmly, stirring his coffee. 

He takes the spoon out, licks it, puts it down,

lifts the cup, takes a sip.

I'm not selling, he says.


Dedicated to the Brazil of Iran: Abadan




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But on a no-so-related news note, the BBC is reporting this St. Patrick's Day -with Fifty Shades of Green ;)  - that


the grave of Cervantes has been found in Spain.


Hm. I thought he was on ShiaChat.



The BBC says this is a day "to celebrate the rich culture of Eireland".


Opine: How much whiskey and beer are people buying?




Edited by hasanhh
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From the internet:


What is a 7 course Irish meal?


A potatoe and a six-pack of beer.


OK, so the potatoe comes as chips.




What does the F-35 Strike Fighter attack?


Taxpayers' wallets

Edited by hasanhh
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CBS Market Watch, 17March15, "Warren Buffet's house now on Airbnb" by Charles Passey


--- you could "win"  a night to sleep in Buffet's childhood bedroom


--- there is a picture of the house


-- l guess because l grew up with American rags-to-riches stories, l was expecting to see a log cabin

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This is so, so --what?-- that it can only go under this thread.


After a couple of years, because of a broadcast time change after getting into a conflict with other evilgelical screachers, I was watching Jack van Impe Presents yesterday morning.

I usually like the news clippings they use --even if one of yesterday's was dated 2006-- while the other evilgelicals are a wrenching turn-offs.


As these soglidites try to evilgelicalize every soul with their heathen fantasies, sometimes they are truly outrageous.


One comment was that Ayatollah Khomeini was "deposed from Iran" and then went back.

Huh? Only a head of gov't or state can be "deposed" and he was not one.

Then this 84 year-old then uses the usual misquotes/deliberate-mistranslations to make fantastic claims about what Khomeini said about the end of Zionism (which are similar to Reagan's pronouncements about the coming end of Communism). These have nothing to do with Judaism.


Now, Khomeini died in 1989. A quarter of a century ago. But, van Impe was claiming that Khomeini is "behind ISlS".  :lol:



And Jack van  also claimed that lran is building a base in l3olivia --to set up missiles--to attack the USA.  :!!!:


While Putin is supposedly doing the same in Venezuela.  :!!!:


Once l started laughing, I turn my record on so l could re-listen to him, so the accuracy of what he said is "sure".

Edited by hasanhh
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Well here is a poor joke. Its a true accident.


Two decades ago there lived a very famous and brilliant Shia scholar in Pakistan who had reverted from Deobundi Sunnis. His name was Molana Ismail aka Ismail Deobundi. One day, after reversion he went to his home town and was traveling to his home situated near the Deobundi mosque/madrassa and in the street was also a small cafe, a tea shop where he would hang out with his Deobundi clerical friends who taught in the madrassa. There on the street he recognized one of them and raises his hand showing him the palm to to greet him, as is custom here in Punjab. He thought they would be friends but the individual responds to his greet by lifting up his 'dhoti' (which is like a skirt that Scottish used to wear) to insult him. Molana Ismail doesn't say a word and reaches home. However his colleagues that evening learn of the misconduct done to him and while they are sitting there at the tea shop Molana Ismail also arrives. The culprit is also there. So they all gather round, concerned, and first ask the culprit to tell them what had exactly happened. The guy tells them to ask Molana Ismail instead so they turn to him and also tell him they all feel sorry for the insult by their colleague. Ismail responds by saying: "Its nothing. What happened is that I showed him the open palm of my hand to signal and tell him that I am a Fiver. And he lifted his skirt to signal to me that he is a Three'er."

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Telephone Rings.


Rings again.


Receptionist:  "Doctor's office. May I help you?"


Amira: "Hello? I need to make an appointment with a psychologist."


Receptionist: "Certainly. May I have your name, please?"


Amira: "Yes. It is Amira Hamza"


Receptonist: "Can you spell that please?"


Amira: "OK. It is:


"A" as in admirable


"M" as in masterly


"I" as in incredible


"R" as in refinement


"A" as in adorable




"H" as in happy


"A" as in absolutely


"M" as in marvelous


"Z" as in zoomy


"A" as in alluring


Receptionist: "And what seems to be your concern?"


Amira: "Everyone tells me I am too plain, too shy and too reserved."

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Speaking of dog and Abadani ; a non-Abadani trying to show off his learned dog in front of a Abadani :



Non-Abadani : We have a dog that whenever it wants to come home knocks on the door.


Abadani: Oh,why so ?doesn't your dog have key?

Edited by kamyar
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