Veteran Member Marbles Posted September 18, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted September 18, 2014 (salam)"The scary little Ebola worms? Is that the real threat to national security?" "worms"? :cry: <-- how else can we react to anyone some _____ dumb? Well, Americans. hasanhh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted September 28, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted September 28, 2014 (salam) A Muslima fell gravely ill. She was so very sick, she asked her husband to do ruqya sharia. So, her husband began reading from Quran, beginning with Sura Nisaa, the 3rd ayat. The Muslima got up and cooked dinner. Marbles 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted September 29, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) (salam) A teacher walked into her classroom one morning and asked the class, "Who shot Abraham Lincoln ? Our 16th President ? " No hands go up, so she asked a student in the front row, "Who shot Lincoln ?" The student answered, "I do not know, I was taking a shower last night." So, the teacher asked a student in the back of the room, "Who shot Abe Lincoln ?" The second student answered, "I was asleep last night." The teacher asked a 3rd student, and that student responded, "I didn't watch the news last night." Sadden by the class' lack of knowledge, the teacher walkout into the hallway for a moment. The school principal came walking by and asked the teacher, "Why are you so sad?" The teacher answered, "Because not one of these students knows who shot Abraham Lincoln.!" The principal responded, "Well, maybe it's because Lincoln is not in their class." There is some truth in this here joke. Yet, when I went to school, from the second grade on, everyone knew Lincoln was shot for sitting in John Wilkes' booth. Edited September 29, 2014 by hasanhh Marbles 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advanced Member JSAli Posted September 29, 2014 Advanced Member Report Share Posted September 29, 2014 heard this one the other day Time to make ISIS WASWAS hasanhh, Marbles and AnaAmmar1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member AnaAmmar1 Posted October 5, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted October 5, 2014 another isis joke what makes an ISIS joke funny?The execution. ShiaHashmi, hasanhh and Marbles 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum Administrators Popular Post Haji 2003 Posted October 7, 2014 Forum Administrators Popular Post Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 ShiaHashmi, hasanhh, Brained and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member AnaAmmar1 Posted October 7, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 hamburger walks into the barbartender says, "we dont serve food here". some more poor jokes feminism How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?Feminists never change anything. why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?so people dont confuse them with feminists. this post is not against women.i <3 women حسين, Hasan0404, hasanhh and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted October 7, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted October 7, 2014 A hamburger walks into McDonald's.The cashier says, "We don't serve food here". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted October 22, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted October 22, 2014 (salam) This joke is by courtesy of a muslima: "When a woman is angered and sits there quietly, prepare yourself. Her shatan is trying to calm her down." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted November 3, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted November 3, 2014 (salam) A man and wife wanted a new car. The woman said, "I want a something that goes from 0 to 80 in 4 seconds or less. My birthday is next week so surprise me.!" So the man, for her birthday, bought her a brand newbathroom scale ! realizm, Khadim uz Zahra and Bright 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators starlight Posted November 8, 2014 Moderators Report Share Posted November 8, 2014 Question:Dear Molana, my wife has gone off to her parents in a huff and is refusing to return.What do the ulama say about this? answer:Molana: "So which of the favours of your Lord would you deny?" (Ar-Rahman 55:55) hasanhh, Marbles, Khadim uz Zahra and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted November 9, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) New Video Game: Call of Duty: the School :rolleyes: Edited November 9, 2014 by hasanhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum Administrators Haji 2003 Posted November 13, 2014 Forum Administrators Report Share Posted November 13, 2014 American technology meant that they had ice-creams in many different colours before anyone else. Servidor, Hasan0404, baradar_jackson and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted November 15, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted November 15, 2014 (salam) Gotta post this from a comment on CNN: Rosetta and Philae have travel ten years into space and Philae has landed on Comet 67J. Fascinating. How did the European Space Agency do this without GPS ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted November 23, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted November 23, 2014 (salam) :shifty: Psst! I read this week the Amerikan Stasi are "tracking 47,000 potential terrorists' inside the USA. I just noticed SC has 46,721 members. Is that US ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted November 27, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 (edited) (salam) Inanenews.dumb, 27Nov14, "President Insane denies Tom Turkey Thanksgiving Pardon" (OP) Washingtown, FLASH, President Insane has denied the annual national bird, Tom Turkey, a presidential pardon. Tom will be halal-ed today, then scalded and quartered before cooking by 1300hrs ETT (Eastern Turkey Time).In announcing his decision, Insane ranted that he is denying Tom a pardon because of the severity of the charges against him, these being insectic genocide, unsanitary habits and noise pollution.Tom is spending his last night locked-up in a closet with only a bowl of water. Edited November 27, 2014 by hasanhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advanced Member Bright Posted November 27, 2014 Advanced Member Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 "I used to sell furniture for a living... the trouble was, it was my own."- Les Dawson (1931 – 1993), English comedian "I was so poor, I couldn't even pay attention."- Unknown Those jokes also fit based on a literal interpretation of the thread title ^_^ Hasan0404, starlight and hasanhh 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advanced Member Hasan0404 Posted November 27, 2014 Advanced Member Report Share Posted November 27, 2014 I hope it does not make controversy, and make me branded as pervert. It takes 2 Sikhs to milk a goat. One to hold the teats, other to lift the goat up and down. starlight and AnaAmmar1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted November 29, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 (salam) Irish Times, Sat29Nov14, "Pope supports strikes against ISlL terrorists" ----- Pop Francie "condemned the "barbaric violence" perpetrated against Christians and other minorities in Syria and Iraq..." --- also laid a wreath at Ataturk's tomb - disinterested Turkish public response to visit Opine: so, the Big Peace Pop wants more "peace bombs" or what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member Popular Post Marbles Posted December 6, 2014 Veteran Member Popular Post Report Share Posted December 6, 2014 From my Facebook feed ---------- Once An ISIS member stopped the car of a christian couple, and asked them if they are Muslim or not?The Christian man: I'm Muslim ISIS member: If you are a Muslim then recite a verse of QuranChristian man recited a verse from Bible ISIS member: Yeah! that was right, you are allowed to go."What a risk u took! why did u tell him that we are Muslims? if he knew you are telling lie he would kill both of us" asked the wife when they got further."Do not worry! if they knew Quran they would not kill innocents" Answered the Husband. ~ThePond~, hasanhh, baradar_jackson and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted December 9, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted December 9, 2014 Reading another thread, I remembered this -after decades. No put-on, my Dad use to occasionally say: "Wives should be like cars: trade them in every couple of years." l think the quote is entirely correct --as in how he said it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advanced Member saas Posted December 10, 2014 Advanced Member Report Share Posted December 10, 2014 A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The maid, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby had poop in his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. So he goes to the maid's room but the door is locked so he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father and maid up to no good. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poop." Khadim uz Zahra 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted December 16, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted December 16, 2014 (salam) Today, 16Dec, is the date Col. Harland Sanders died in 1980. Founder of KFC -Kentucky Fried Chicken- he answered the age old question: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" .To get away from Col. Sanders. Haji 2003 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted December 17, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 (salam) From the "CAIR Newsletter", Novemebr 2014, page 9 "Muslims Shed Light on What Impacts Their Vote" --- from an automated survey of "more than 3,000 registered Muslim voters in CA, NY, lL, Fla, TX and VA: Which political party do you support in the upcoming election? 23% declined to answer 5% Green Party --those tree hugging extremists 2% Libertarian -- those anti-gov't resistors 4% "Other" - Constitutional extremists and "back door to communism" Socialists 51% Democrat :yaali: and.... 15% Republican --those enactors of draconian measures and peeping-Tom surveillance. Opine: No wonder the Rabid-anti-American-Fascists (RAAF) are mad at us, even hate us. We Muslims not only not give them party money, errrr political contributions, we do not vote for them either. Republicans-in-Force (RIF) are constantly in "islamophobe mode" because we don't like them.But as to our mis-guided brothers and sisters that vote for the RIF-RAAF (play on " riff-raff"), Repent and join the humanitarian community. And for 2016, remember our misguided brothers and sisters, like the old saying goes: Whether it is Silverado, a fake ID to buy liquors under age, lying about the Global War on Islam -errrr "terror"--, or some sick things George H.W. did.... REMEMBER: Where There ls A Bush, There ls A Crime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advanced Member blu115 Posted December 17, 2014 Advanced Member Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 (edited) In today's society the white heterosexual male is looked upon as the greatest evil based only on his race and sexuality. You have to be brown, gay, or a woman to get anywhere in this world these days. (Bonus points if you're a brown gay woman like one of my coworkers.)You can't be serious..?Nevermind, I forgot this was a joke thread. Edited December 17, 2014 by blu115 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advanced Member Shabnam Rizvi Posted December 17, 2014 Advanced Member Report Share Posted December 17, 2014 "If you can’t beat the record, you can beat up its owner." :no: starlight 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted December 18, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted December 18, 2014 Who is the big winner in Pakistan ? :shaytan: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peace seeker II Posted December 21, 2014 Report Share Posted December 21, 2014 starlight and baradar_jackson 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted December 24, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted December 24, 2014 (salam) Kim Jong-un. Isn't he the brother of Kim Car-dashian? Apologies to Kim. Jong-un that is. starlight 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted December 26, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 (salam) News Item: 26Dec14: DeutscheWelle is reporting that two Saudi Arabian women have been bound over to the "Anti-Terrorism Court" for driving. :!!!: And l thought American girls were bad drivers. :D peace seeker II 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veteran Member hasanhh Posted December 26, 2014 Veteran Member Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 I can't believe I got a "like" for one of my "poor jokes". :yaali: peace seeker II 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peace seeker II Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 ok i have another poor joke @) peace seeker is really cool ... and funny starlight, Belle and :Sami II 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:Sami II Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 ok I have one , wait no , I have 4 of them ... :lol: peace seeker II, Belle, starlight and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khalilallah Posted December 26, 2014 Report Share Posted December 26, 2014 ok I have one , wait no , I have 4 of them ... :lol:fingers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:Sami II Posted December 27, 2014 Report Share Posted December 27, 2014 fingers?worse , mother in laws peace seeker II and hasanhh 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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