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In the Name of God بسم الله

[Closed/Review]I Am A Revert, Could You Please Help?

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Salaam alaikum, I am a revert to islam. I have researched a lot about islam and have realized that shia islam is the true path. My question is how can I perform Mutah? Do I go to a mosque and ask someone to arrange one or what? I am not trolling and any help would be appreciated. I am asking because I have a very high libido and am afraid of commting zina. Please help.

Jazak Allah khair my brothers and sisters.

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Salam,

Mubruk for finding the true path. You need to find a girl that would accepte to do that temp marriage with you. Not sure if the mosque people can help you, they may find you a wife. But you should marry premently if you can,not just for a short period of time.

Your better of doing temp marriage with a none muslim, she needs to understand the ruling and its not easy to just jump into such marriage. If a girl follows sistaini (ha) she will need her fathers permission. I think I think sayad fadallah allows it without the permission of the father.

Betweem you should change your relgion to shia, inside of sunni...

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On 4/1/2014 at 5:30 PM, Abu Hadi said:

Alekum Salam, 

You state your religion as 'Sunni' and your first Question is about Mutah ?

(that doesn't seem like trolling at all, :donno:  lol )

O.K. Sure. Here is the info

http://revertmuslims.com/RMA/mutah/

If I became Shia I would be interested in mutah also lol

Edited by Hameedeh
Old link was broken and new link was added in the quote.
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On 4/1/2014 at 7:43 PM, CLynn said:

Greetings kim.tinkerbell,

I'm sorry, I just find that so insulting.

Can you state your reasons?

asalaam.

Why do you find it insulting? You shouldn't question the intentions of the OP or make assumptions on the basis of no knowledge.

Majority of non-Muslims are engaged in unlawful relationships with the opposite sex anyway. All Muta does is make that relationship (whatever it may be or entail) permissible. 

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On 4/1/2014 at 10:29 PM, Ali Musaaa :) said:

Why do you find it insulting? You shouldn't question the intentions of the OP or make assumptions on the basis of no knowledge.

 

Majority of non-Muslims are engaged in unlawful relationships with the opposite sex anyway. All Muta does is make that relationship (whatever it may be or entail) permissible. 

Greetings Ali Musaaa,

It wasn't the op that I was responding to.  It was your statement.

Examine your statement... examine your thoughts... examine your heart...

Why would you say do this to non-muslim female?  Why not muslim female?

What does it say about your thoughts... your heart?

asalaam.

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On 4/1/2014 at 11:43 PM, CLynn said:

Greetings Ali Musaaa,

It wasn't the op that I was responding to.  It was your statement.

Examine your statement... examine your thoughts... examine your heart...

Why would you say do this to non-muslim female?  Why not muslim female?

What does it say about your thoughts... your heart?

asalaam.

Yes, sorry, I apologise. You were not responding to the OP.

What? How could you be responding to me when i posted after you? I think you mean Kinkabell.  

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On 4/1/2014 at 9:16 PM, Wisdom Lion said:

If I became Shia I would be interested in mutah also lol

I thought you were Shia, anyway you should, we need more knowledgeable brothers on our team...

Also, it's not that he asked about Mutah, but that he is a new member and that is his first post and 

he listed his religion as 'Sunni' which isn't even a religion, but a mathab (4 mathabs actually). Sunni and Shia are both

muslims, i.e. we have the same religion. 

Most Sunni brothers who come on start with something like 'What do you guys think about Aisha', 'Why do you think Imam Ali(a.s) was chosen by Allah(s.w.a) as first Imam/Caliph', etc. It's unusual, that's all, but perfectly fine, that's why I responded with correct info. 

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On 4/1/2014 at 7:43 PM, CLynn said:

Greetings kim.tinkerbell,

I'm sorry, I just find that so insulting.

Can you state your reasons?

asalaam.

Salam clynn,

I didnt mean to insult anyone. The only reason I said that is because he just reverted shia to islam and he might not know many muslims and its hard for converts to find muslims wifes, so thats why I suggest a none muslim. There are muslim woman that enter these marriages too.

On 4/2/2014 at 3:18 AM, Ali Musaaa :) said:

Yes, sorry, I apologise. You were not responding to the OP.

What? How could you be responding to me when i posted after you? I think you mean Kinkabell.

It looks like you cant read, you attacked clynn, then you spelt my name wrong deliberatelty.. No need to get rude....

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On 4/1/2014 at 11:43 PM, CLynn said:

Greetings Ali Musaaa,

It wasn't the op that I was responding to.  It was your statement.

Examine your statement... examine your thoughts... examine your heart...

Why would you say do this to non-muslim female?  Why not muslim female?

What does it say about your thoughts... your heart?

asalaam.

^ Hello

Could you care to elaborate what exactly is insulting and what is born of immorality?

You see, its common knowledge that non-believing women don't mind the "free living" life style which includes extramarital or "free" sex and anything that may be pleasing or profitable, much like animals. And no thats not an insult. It is simply what they do. Western men live with and sleep with their girlfriends and pairs wear out quicker than car tires some times and are similarly replaced by new. Your own legislative authorities are to blame for the cause of this because they have made and enforced absolutely ridiculous and unjust nonsensical divorce laws which are very obviously meant to discourage proper marriages. So men and women stay together and practice adultery in hopes to determine if the partner is the "right one" which they never do, except in some movies. Today most westerners have stopped bothering and have accepted the "free living" lifestyle as the norm.

So, keeping the above in mind, what is so god awfully wrong if a Shia takes advantage of the situation? Would you rather that a male sees a pro* for relief instead of inaugurating what he deems a religiously lawful relationship free of regret and aftershocks of conscience?

((I'm just curious to know. I'm not advocating mutah. In fact I'm wary of all intimacy both permanent / legal and other.))

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I dont think a person should take advantage of such people but rather come with a mutal agreement with the indivual. And just because some of them have no self respect it doesnt mean one has the right to walk all over them. Friends with benefit, thats more commen in the west, so if both parties agree on a condition then it should be fine.

This marriage just makes the relationship or agreement halal. I understand that some people may not classify what their doing as adultery or sin,because they dont believe the same thing as muslims do and I think we shouldnt penalize them for it. Most relgious people wether muslims,christains,jews would know that you should save yourself until you are married prementilly....

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On 4/2/2014 at 5:36 PM, Darth Vader said:
^ Hello

Could you care to elaborate what exactly is insulting and what is born of immorality?

You see, its common knowledge that non-believing women don't mind the "free living" life style which includes extramarital or "free" sex and anything that may be pleasing or profitable, much like animals. And no thats not an insult. It is simply what they do. Western men live with and sleep with their girlfriends and pairs wear out quicker than car tires some times and are similarly replaced by new. Your own legislative authorities are to blame for the cause of this because they have made and enforced absolutely ridiculous and unjust nonsensical divorce laws which are very obviously meant to discourage proper marriages. So men and women stay together and practice adultery in hopes to determine if the partner is the "right one" which they never do, except in some movies. Today most westerners have stopped bothering and have accepted the "free living" lifestyle as the norm.

So, keeping the above in mind, what is so god awfully wrong if a Shia takes advantage of the situation? Would you rather that a male sees a pro* for relief instead of inaugurating what he deems a religiously lawful relationship free of regret and aftershocks of conscience?

((I'm just curious to know. I'm not advocating mutah. In fact I'm wary of all intimacy both permanent / legal and other.))

I find this reply so incredibly vulgar, disgusting, and ignorant.  

No need to elaborate.  

It is always interesting to see prejudice so clearly illuminated.

There will always be some men who are pigs...

but to generalize all non-muslim women in this way is not forgivable.

It is no different than if someone were to say that all muslim men are pigs.

I know many non-muslim women whose morals and values are no less than any muslim woman...

and I am sure that there are women who call themselves muslim who are no more pure than some non-muslim women.

On 4/2/2014 at 6:39 PM, kim.tinkerbell said:

 Most relgious people wether muslims,christains,jews would know that you should save yourself until you are married prementilly....

*like

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Where did I write "muslim women"? The exact words I used were "believing women". I know full well that average (believing) Christians are remarkably honest people with moral values and more integrity of character than average Muslim. And that is why I am on very amiable terms with Christians living around me, in contrast to the bearded mullah types because the former are dependable and honest dealing. Just my observation. And its not to please you. You should go back to kindergarten and learn to comprehend writing all over again. Your drama queen tendency has just failed you big time. Besides you have not answered the original question. Which I am going to answer now for you. And that is that it irks you, vexes you that Shia can get away unscathed by route of mutah and the favorable condition of women in your region. It is because you're bigoted and the whole forum knows that well and is tired of you because of that. Its that painfully simple.

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On 4/1/2014 at 11:43 PM, CLynn said:

Why would you say do this to non-muslim female?  Why not muslim female?

What does it say about your thoughts... your heart?

asalaam.

Do you say that sexual life in the Western world today is what Jesus, Son of Marry, preached?

On 4/2/2014 at 7:51 PM, CLynn said:
I know many non-muslim women whose morals and values are no less than any muslim woman...

and I am sure that there are women who call themselves muslim who are no more pure than some non-muslim women.

It is not about what you are much but what principles you follow or not. The stricter you make it for young people to get married the worse it gets, as you can see in the West. The general morality in the West, especially among women, is lower than in the Islamic world, this is a fact. And the reason is not that majority of Western women are [Edited Out]s. Rather they don't know about true higher morality and the rules God gives to humans.

Instead they are busy with man-made laws and rules of physical attraction. That is why majority of girls get their first sexual experience when they are 13/14, and still a child according to Western man-made laws.

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Greetings kim.tinkerbell,

I'm sorry, I just find that so insulting.

Can you state your reasons?

asalaam.

Social stigma.

And knowledge. The less a woman knows about temporary marriage, the more likely she is to agree to it. Most people prefer permanence, though some will accept temporary if they are desperately lonely.

Really, mutah is just the same as dating, only with intentions stated at the outset.

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Reading through,this thread is full of so many generalizations  :mellow:

This happened because CLynn derailed the thread in the wrong direction. I think the thread should have been closed after Abu Hadi had answered the question.

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On 4/3/2014 at 7:52 AM, lover said:

This happened because CLynn derailed the thread in the wrong direction. I think the thread should have been closed after Abu Hadi had answered the question.

(salam)

Whilst CLynn may have asked a question, the generalisations and misunderstandings cannot be attributed to any single person. Yes I have to agree with you, especially when a first time poster asks about mutah, a quick informative reply with an external link is more then sufficient. 

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Sayyeda: She didn't just ask a question. She said this to be exact:

"Greetings kim.tinkerbell,

I'm sorry, I just find that so insulting.

Can you state your reasons?

asalaam."

Which brought this topic into the wrong direction.

Anyways, why should it be disgusting to do Marriage with a Muslim, Christian, Jewish woman?
It is allowed in Islam and should be respected as such-also by non-Muslims.

Many women and men lose their virginity or innocence before marriage and this should be avoided.

 

Back to topic, make sure you don't make her pregnant or if you do so, it is only fair to care about your children, both financially and emotionally.

Edited by lover
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Where did I write "muslim women"? The exact words I used were "believing women". I know full well that average (believing) Christians are remarkably honest people with moral values and more integrity of character than average Muslim. And that is why I am on very amiable terms with Christians living around me, in contrast to the bearded mullah types because the former are dependable and honest dealing. Just my observation. And its not to please you. You should go back to kindergarten and learn to comprehend writing all over again. Your drama queen tendency has just failed you big time. Besides you have not answered the original question. Which I am going to answer now for you. And that is that it irks you, vexes you that Shia can get away unscathed by route of mutah and the favorable condition of women in your region. It is because you're bigoted and the whole forum knows that well and is tired of you because of that. Its that painfully simple.

 

Well Darth, I was responding to kim.tinkerbell's statement,

       "Your better of doing temp marriage with a none muslim,"

 

and I assumed that you were too, since that is what was being discussed.

I still do not accept your statements, for the very reasons that notme outlines.  It is easy too easy to take advantage of women who do not understand the concept of mutah... to easy for a muslim man to mislead her into thinking marriage means the same to him as it does to her.  If a woman is willing to accept mutah(with full understanding of what it is), then to me she is no better than a prostitute... selling herself to the nearest taker, with no qualms about moving on to another.  I think many women are duped by men using the concept of mutah, and many men are willing to just use women to meet their physical desires with no real commitment, and not caring that they degrade women in the process. To me intimacy should involve the heart and I can't say that men using mutah are making any commitment of the heart  You will find very few women who want intimacy with no commitment of the heart... and the women that do are usually damaged women.  Healthy women want commitments of the heart.

I am sorry that you find the need to throw insults.

Peace.

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If a woman is willing to accept mutah(with full understanding of what it is), then to me she is no better than a prostitute... selling herself to the nearest taker, with no qualms about moving on to another.

That is too harsh, there are many reasons to marry temporarily instead of permanent. The most common would be people who are desperately lonely but presently unmarriageable for whatever reason. There might be cases in which a man is disabled or otherwise unable to support a wife but still wants a companion. And the most socially accepted use of mutah is just like dating for Christians - getting to know someone before marriage. Sex doesn't have to be involved.

Edited by notme
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Do you say that sexual life in the Western world today is what Jesus, Son of Marry, preached?

 

Greetings lover,

 

No there are few anywhere, who live by the standards of God these days, however...

the statement made by kim.tinkerbell was painting all women... non-muslim... with one paintbrush... as though none of them have any morals... to me it was basically saying it is ok to take advantage of them(non-muslim vs. mslim) and use them as though they were of lesser value than a muslim woman.  Non-muslim women want the same thing as muslim women... they want to be loved, they want to be married, they want to have families... they do not want one relationship after another, after another, after another... they do not want to be used.

 

Kim.tinkerbell has since amended her statement, which I appreciate.

asalaam,

CLynn

That is too harsh, there are many reasons to marry temporarily instead of permanent. The most common would be people who are desperately lonely but presently unmarriageable for whatever reason. There might be cases in which a man is disabled or otherwise unable to support a wife but still wants a companion. And the most socially accepted use of mutah is just like dating for Christians - getting to know someone before marriage. Sex doesn't have to be involved.

 

Greetings notme,

 

Unfortunately, another reason in the west is that the man does not have to take financial responsibility for the children he produces.  If the woman is not legally married she can then take advantage of the welfare systems of the west, placing the responsibility of taking care of these children produced through non-marriages by the tax-payers money... the money of others who have chosen not to marry... not to have children until they can afford such things.  It is also a way for a man in the west to have more than one 'wife'.

So I see it as three things... 1) misusing women, 2) foisting off financial responsibility onto government programs, and 3) flouting the rules of the government.

I see it as a thing of man(that is to say, human thinking), not as a thing of God... much the same way those in the 'west'... or those who live by different standards... find ways of justifying, or rationalizing, their behavior too.  God requires hard things.  Man seeks the easy way.

"The right thing is rarely easy, and the easy thing is rarely right."

asalaam,

CLynn

Edited by CLynn
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^ A Muslim man must support his children regardless of what government programs are available. He must also support his wife unless she is a wife by mutah. If he fails to support his wife (where applicable) and children, and the wife or the government had to provide, the man becomes indebted to the wife and/or government until he repays them. Given that no preventative method is failsafe, nobody should risk producing children unless they are ready to raise and support them, regardless of their marital status.

What I've not learned yet is what happens to the Muslim who dies while in debt. Given that it is too late for recompense, can he even go to heaven? Allah is merciful, but also just.

So to the OP, why not just get married the regular way?

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Clynn is that kind of personality that likes to play with people's emotions and belief and therefore you can't expect anything else from such a person than calling Mutah, a sacred Islamic marriage, as prostitution and all women who were involved in it as prostitutes and the men who were involved in it as pimps.

Such a hateful person without any shame or respect for Muslims and their belief.

Here is her quote again: "If a woman is willing to accept mutah(with full understanding of what it is), then to me she is no better than a prostitute... selling herself to the nearest taker, with no qualms about moving on to another."

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On 4/3/2014 at 12:35 PM, CLynn said:

Well Darth, I was responding to kim.tinkerbell's statement,

       "Your better of doing temp marriage with a none muslim,"

and I assumed that you were too, since that is what was being discussed.

I still do not accept your statements, for the very reasons that notme outlines.  It is easy too easy to take advantage of women who do not understand the concept of mutah... to easy for a muslim man to mislead her into thinking marriage means the same to him as it does to her.  If a woman is willing to accept mutah(with full understanding of what it is), then to me she is no better than a prostitute... selling herself to the nearest taker, with no qualms about moving on to another.  I think many women are duped by men using the concept of mutah, and many men are willing to just use women to meet their physical desires with no real commitment, and not caring that they degrade women in the process. To me intimacy should involve the heart and I can't say that men using mutah are making any commitment of the heart  You will find very few women who want intimacy with no commitment of the heart... and the women that do are usually damaged women.  Healthy women want commitments of the heart.

I am sorry that you find the need to throw insults.

Peace.

You threw the first one. If you thought I'm responding to kim its still your mistake. You can keep thinking who is damaged and who is not and how to avoid being pigs. Write me a book about it. I can always agree to disagree. 

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On 4/3/2014 at 5:21 PM, Darth Vader said:

You threw the first one. If you thought I'm responding to kinkerel its still your mistake.

Greetings Darth,

I have thrown no personal insults or attacks at you or any one.  Please show me where you think I have.

asalaam.

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This thread has gone tooo far, I swear to god,wallah. I did not mean to insult anyone. I feel like am responsible for all this. If you read my post, the first one I give exmaples of muslim and none muslim and even stated it not easy to jump into this marriage. I ask that god forgives me for hearting anyone that got offended at what I said. I feel really bad and I feel like this is all my fault but I did not mean it.

Can we just let it go,theirs good and bad in ever nation. Different people want different things in life. Not everyone,wants the same thing. And can I just say that I do not attempt to misspell by purpose, I have a very hard time rereading my posts, and I have my reasons for misspelling, I dont think its cool when people try to write like me or try to misspell when they know how to write. It says more about your character, not a good sign either..

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On 4/3/2014 at 11:32 PM, baradar_jackson said:

That's the crux of the hypocrisy of many Westerners toward mut'ah. On the one hand, their own societies are the most permissive, allowing not only adultery and fornication but a whole slew of other transgressions, but on the other hand they quickly (and without a second thought) label mut'ah as prostitution.

Would CLynn dare to call dating prostitution? Or how about premarital sex between girlfriend and boyfriend; is that prostitution? These are things which are accepted in many societies even by fairly conservative people.

Maybe the very notion of making such relationships permissible is a problem for them? Their relationship ethics exists in a realm of fantasy, where nobody is supposed to engage in transgressions and yet everyone does. Thus, our religion's permission of contractual relationships between men and women comes across as "religiously sanctioned prostitution."

It's all a whole bunch of nonsense, really. Anyone with two braincells can see the benefits of temporary marriage, MOST of all in this epoch where the permissiveness of society and the difficulty of earning living wages makes permanent marriage hard on youths.

Thank you for hitting the nail on the head. Apparently CLynn only minds it when Shia benefit of the situation and he/she hasn't explained the bad part except for calling mutah prostitition and devoid of "heart" and morality. As if such things still exist.

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Classic example of CLynn the drama queen.  Even his manufactured "moral outrages" stay consistent with his overlying agenda.  

He clearly has read very little about this subject.  Yet spends a lot of time here.  If he was interested, he would have read about this important issue long ago.

I'll tell you guys a secret:  he actually doesn't care.  Because you don't need actual knowledge for his kind of posting. 

OP was a 1 post hit and run provocetuer.  Ruining this issue for the rest of us.  It's amazing how ignorance about this is rampant, yet clear fornication never needs a justification, is the norm, and and is always given a free pass without second thought.  That's like saying a bribe is superior to a signed business deal. 

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Since CLynn has apparently taken his ball and gone home, I am going to pose a question to him to coax him back into posting in this thread:

I am assuming you are not Catholic. What is your stance on the Catholic Church's insistence upon making priests take a vow of celibacy?

Is the pastor or reverend at your local church, married?

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