Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
ShiaChat.com
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Would You Tolerate Your Wife Complimenting Men?

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 85
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Yea man dat todally iz rygt yo, cuz when dey luk gud, dey luk gud, nah min bro?

What happened to lowering gazes?

Aslam e Elukum,   I don't find any man attractive or praise worthy except for one. And I don't like celebrities nor do I like to hear any gossip about them. Their lives are fake. Total waste of time. 

  • Forum Administrators

 

 

Salam.

 

Would you allow your wife to say X celebrity is 'so hot' or 'so-good looking', to re-blog their pictures, and so on?

 

Would you allow them to compliment their cousins who you KNOW are like brothers to them on their looks, is that islamic?

Wait, so that girl you are with has a "friend" AND does this too?

Edited by Muhammed Ali
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

I said it before "toss her out of window"

 

But seriously, how did you get to know her and how are you just figuring that about her?

 

As for complimenting men, there is no man on earth that deserve complementing these days except sayed Hassan, so she is ok if she complemented  him 

 

B)

 

On a serious note: I think you two should sit and set the rules, what was ok then might not be ok now. There is no harm in showing some jealously ! But she should show some positive acceptance and you should receive that with some rationalization. Not every compliment is meaningful, it can be just a way to describe something OR HINT something

Do you look good?

Do you play sport?

Do you send her gifts?

Do you OK her saying nice things about other men, then complain only on SC? Do you tend to be stay silent when she needs a lawyer?

Do you complement other women? That could be even saying that your mom cooking is the best -.-

 

Else, toss her out of window

Edited by Chaotic Muslem
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Basic Members

Wa alaykum salam,

 

To the first question: absolutely not. She must fear Allah azza wa jal and lower her gaze.

 

to the second question: Possibly; if it's just a simple "you look nice", or something to that effect, I'm OK with that. Nothing extravagant, though. Of course, I hold myself to the same standard when talking about women.

Link to post
Share on other sites

(bismillah)

  (salam)

 

Dear Brother,

 

Males and Females are different. Typically females are more into celebirties and entertainment. It is their nature.

 

If me and my wife went to a basketball game and she starts taking pictures and autographs of players, that does not mean she likes those individuals better than she does me. She probably couldn't get with those celebirties even if she tried lol, but that is besides the point. Anyways most females have that habit where if they can get an autograph or a picture with an individual who they'll probably only meet once in a lifetime, most will go for it.

 

Unless its a serious Issue and your wife is texting other guys, then you ought to be worried. But other than that you should be a little more openminded and have some trust. If my wife is working at a hospital and there is some others who work there that are male, I am not going to tell her not to do her job. Because I trust that she is mature enough and knows how to handle it.

 

 

(wasalam)

Link to post
Share on other sites

no big deal to me. just cuz u get maried doesnt mean everyone sudenly becomes ugly. if someone was good looking b4 they still r.

 

Right, and you wouldn't care if your husband complemented other woman on the street and in movies right?

 

I think that is called bi-gheyrat......

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators

Attention ladies: the lesson to take from this discussion is do not tell your husband which celebrities you think are handsome. Their little egos can't handle it.

Seriously, though, I think Brad Pitt is handsome, but from what little I know of him, he's nothing but eye candy; he couldn't get my attention beyond a glance if he tried. Looking doesn't equal lusting.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

Yea man dat todally iz rygt yo, cuz when dey luk gud, dey luk gud, nah min bro?

 

yup thats exactly my point.

Right, and you wouldn't care if your husband complemented other woman on the street and in movies right?

 

I think that is called bi-gheyrat......

 

my husband??????????? lol im a guy! plus it has nothing to do with gheyrat. something beautiful is stil beuatuful even after u get maried. everything doesnt suddenly become ugly.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

personally i would not like it either if my husband/ fiancee went around & compliment every girl he sees like that! no way i will never put up with something disgusting like this behaviour , he (or she) needs to respect the person they r with by putting them in highest standard in their eyes. if they see u as no value to them then u will find them ogling other ppl and taking liking in what they see or ogle. 

 

to me this is disrespect behaviour, and can tell u about the type of rude ppl they are

 

now in terms of celebrities thats different issue but they should not over do it

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

AliSaleh, are you saying that there is no difference between bachelorhood and marriage? Really? I agree, other people don't change when you marry. But, you need to change when you marry. Again, there is a difference between bachelorhood and marriage. And the difference shouldn't be the even thing most people imagine either.

 

The terms, such as; ''so hot'', ''good-looking/beautiful'', ''smart, knowledgeable'' etc. shouldn't be there for the opposite gender in the first place (e.g. the concept of lowering the gaze). So that, when you marry someone, marriage would not be a limitation for you. I mean, there is a difference between bachelorhood and marriage. Because in marriage, you don't know, see, talk to etc. other than your wife/wives or husband in order to compliment or criticize them. However, I believe, it is not that you begin lowering the gaze after you marry. It should be before the marriage, so that marriage should be a permission and grace for you to wholly know someone. Otherwise, it would be a limitation for you (because you would be ''stuck'' with someone instead of ''freely'' exploring unlimited number of wo/men).

 

And, I think, such a woman described by OP does not know about the concept of marriage and lowering the gaze. And I truly believe the culture she was raised in portrays this as normal. And she needs to be taught the meaning of commitment and submission in marriage through reasoning. ma salam

Edited by HamzaTR
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

AliSaleh, are you saying that there is no difference between bachelorhood and marriage? Really? I agree, other people don't change when you marry. But, you need to change when you marry. Again, there is a difference between bachelorhood and marriage. And the difference shouldn't be the even thing most people imagine either.

 

The terms, such as; ''so hot'', ''good-looking/beautiful'', ''smart, knowledgeable'' etc. shouldn't be there for the opposite gender in the first place (e.g. the concept of lowering the gaze). So that, when you marry someone, marriage would not be a limitation for you. I mean, there is a difference between bachelorhood and marriage. Because in marriage, you don't know, see, talk to etc. other than your wife/wives or husband in order to compliment or criticize them. However, I believe, it is not that you begin lowering the gaze after you marry. It should be before the marriage, so that marriage should be a permission and grace for you to wholly know someone. Otherwise, it would be a limitation for you (because you would be ''stuck'' with someone instead of ''freely'' exploring unlimited number of wo/men).

 

And, I think, such a woman described by OP does not know about the concept of marriage and lowering the gaze. And I truly believe the culture she was raised in portrays this as normal. And she needs to be taught the meaning of commitment and submission in marriage through reasoning. ma salam

 

admiting someone is good looking and droolling over them r 2 very different things.

Link to post
Share on other sites

admiting someone is good looking and droolling over them r 2 very different things.

 

It's about respecting your partners feelings and staying quiet. 

No matter how much you don't wanna admit it, if your wife says a guy is good looking, something will stir in you, whether you like it or not. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Aslam e Elukum,

 

I don't find any man attractive or praise worthy except for one. And I don't like celebrities nor do I like to hear any gossip about them. Their lives are fake. Total waste of time. 

 

And OP, yes it is also unislamic. 

 

Totally agree ^^

 

To this day I never met a man in person I was attracted to. Perhaps that's because I don't bother looking. 

 

As for the "like brothers" ("like" being the operative word here) that's not acceptable. Period end of story.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Forum Administrators

my husband??????????? lol im a guy! plus it has nothing to do with gheyrat. something beautiful is stil beuatuful even after u get maried. everything doesnt suddenly become ugly.

 

Would help if you changed your profile picture. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

Would help if you changed your profile picture. 

 

r u fire in a red box? if not please change your avatar.

It's about respecting your partners feelings and staying quiet. 

No matter how much you don't wanna admit it, if your wife says a guy is good looking, something will stir in you, whether you like it or not. 

 

as long as u trust your partner and she trusts u nothing wil stir in u. if u r the jealos type than anything will set u off.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

He won't change it because she (Neda whatever) is according to seculars a ''martyr'' and a desperate means of propaganda for the wishers of American puppet Shah ('s progeny) again rules Islamic Iran. Just pathetic.

 

naw u r way off and pathetic is u making assumtions about me and throwing as much politics and religion into it as u can. i just changed it on her death aniversery to honor her cuz i felt bad for her getting killed in broad day light in the streets of tehran and didnt change it afterwards cuz i had nothing else in mind for an avatar so it has just stayed. any other questions u got about me that i can answer?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

 

Salam.

 

Would you allow your wife to say X celebrity is 'so hot' or 'so-good looking', to re-blog their pictures, and so on?

 

Would you allow them to compliment their cousins who you KNOW are like brothers to them on their looks, is that islamic?

 

 

 

 

Absolutely not. The first is disgraceful and the second is just weird... They're like her brothers but she goes around complimenting his looks? Okay.. :donno:. I wonder how she would feel if her husband was drooling like an idiot over every second women he sees or commenting on how 'hot' women x is? 

Edited by Muhammed Ali
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Forum Administrators

r u fire in a red box? if not please change your avatar.

 

 

My picture doesn't confuse my gender. 

naw u r way off and pathetic is u making assumtions about me and throwing as much politics and religion into it as u can. i just changed it on her death aniversery to honor her cuz i felt bad for her getting killed in broad day light in the streets of tehran and didnt change it afterwards cuz i had nothing else in mind for an avatar so it has just stayed. any other questions u got about me that i can answer?

 

 

Didn't this particular picture turn out to be a fake?  Like it is actually somebody else of a similar name, but was picked off by the media, then shown everywhere?  Eh, I guess you don't really care about that.

 

AND OMG DID YOU SEE THE NEW SHAHS OF SUNSET?????  CRAZY STUFF!!!!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

My picture doesn't confuse my gender. 

 

 

Didn't this particular picture turn out to be a fake?  Like it is actually somebody else of a similar name, but was picked off by the media, then shown everywhere?  Eh, I guess you don't really care about that.

 

AND OMG DID YOU SEE THE NEW SHAHS OF SUNSET?????  CRAZY STUFF!!!!!!

 

 

i dont know if this is her or the person they thought was her but it doesnt mater cuz my intention was to honor her.

u watch shahs of sunset to? i love thatshow, i think they r getting rid of lili though which im not unhappy about, she seemed very stupid.

Link to post
Share on other sites

as long as u trust your partner and she trusts u nothing wil stir in u. if u r the jealos type than anything will set u off.

 

You really don't get it do you? I for one hope you never get a partner that compliments other people for their beauty. 

But sometimes, that's what it takes for people to learn. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...