Parents Don't Want Me To Marry Yet?!

[Wisdom Lion]

As Salamu Alaikum I'm 20 and I told my parent I want to get married a few months ago. I said it could be a girl of any race to find

It's been months and my parent haven't done anything because they think I should " finish university and have more money"

They think a girl and her family won't allow their daughter to marry somebody who does not have a degree yet nor a lot of money yet. I have a part time job while I'm at university

Maybe I'm idealistic and think a girl will look at things besides money, degree, house but what can I do right now??

[Reza]

Love how this comes immediately after your last epic fail of a thread. 

[Wisdom Lion]

 

.

 

Love how this comes immediately after your last epic fail of a thread. 

I got some much appreciated advice on there from some brothers about ways for to get connected to potentially marry someone from a foreign culture but same religion. Read it again @)

 

[Reza]

The chance of you marrying someone foreign is in the single digits. 

[Wisdom Lion]

The chance of you marrying someone foreign is in the single digits. 

If it ends up that way that's fine, but really, only Allah is All-Knowing so only He Knows so there's no way you can know that

[Reza]

Good luck man with all of that. 

[Wisdom Lion]

Good luck man with all of that. 

It's not a matter of luck or bad luck only whatever He wills for all of us

Thanks anyways though, as salamu alaykum

[AliSaleh]

finish school and get a job first. how do u expect to pay the bills if u get married without a desent job? unless u marry a rich girl

[Reza]

finish school and get a job first. how do u expect to pay the bills if u get married without a desent job? unless u marry a rich girl

 

It's thinking like that has tanked society.  Thanks rubber stamper. 

[بعيد]

Welcome to the club, Akhi.

 

Getting married while in university is something like a miracle these days, as much as I hate the aspect of marrying at 30.

[Wisdom Lion]

finish school and get a job first. how do u expect to pay the bills if u get married without a desent job? unless u marry a rich girl

We can grow tomatoes and in the backyard and get a few chickens. I wouldn't mind marrying a rich girl...Donald Trump have a Shiite daughter?

[EthidiumIodide]

Lol, parents don't understand our insatiable desire to produce children...  :cry:

[Wisdom Lion]

Lol, parents don't understand our insatiable desire to produce children...  :cry:

Exactly, jus tryna do my deed upon humanity by becoming a Lean Mean Breeding Machine.

[Bonafide Hustler]

Jeez, kids these days just don't have a clue about the never-ending responsibilities of marriage, in all probability, given we generally need to worry about religious compatibility, personality match, physical attraction, social/family/financial responsibility, cultural differences, an insanely long full time commitment, outside interference and on and on and on, I doubt whether more than 20% of married couples are actually in a good place.

 

As far as children are concerned, muslims produce too many already, overpopulation is a serious concern in major muslim areas, lets be nicer to the countless unattended, oppressed and uncared for ones first, instead of these personal ambitions of 5-6 of our own.

[Mlle. Advice]

children , please grow up...getting married while at university ?? you guys really must be young & unrealistic

[Marbles]

It's thinking like that has tanked society.  Thanks rubber stamper. 

 

Yes, that's true. We must learn to think out of the box. So how are they going to pay the bills without a "desent" job?

[Reza]

Yes, that's true. We must learn to think out of the box. So how are they going to pay the bills without a "desent" job?

 

Yeah you're right.  The people without decent jobs should be denied marriage completely.  They should also be ostracized, forgotten, and thrown in the dumpster like the human garbage that they are.

[Marbles]

Yeah you're right.  The people without decent jobs should be denied marriage completely.  They should also be ostracized, forgotten, and thrown in the dumpster like the human garbage that they are.

 

Aww that's a bit harsh don't you think.

[Hasan0404]

As Salamu Alaikum I'm 20 and I told my parent I want to get married a few months ago. I said it could be a girl of any race to find

It's been months and my parent haven't done anything because they think I should " finish university and have more money"

They think a girl and her family won't allow their daughter to marry somebody who does not have a degree yet nor a lot of money yet. I have a part time job while I'm at university

Maybe I'm idealistic and think a girl will look at things besides money, degree, house but what can I do right now??

(wasalam)

 

Brother my personel experience is " if you give your parents the task of searching out a girl for you while they keep

 

on reminding you of your Shortcomings in terms of money, you are not going to see it realise soon". So you either need

 

to put marriage hunt on a halt or you need to keep your parents out of the equation and do everything on your own.

 

Btw goodluck.

[aliasghark]

As Salamu Alaikum I'm 20 and I told my parent I want to get married a few months ago. I said it could be a girl of any race to find

It's been months and my parent haven't done anything because they think I should " finish university and have more money"

They think a girl and her family won't allow their daughter to marry somebody who does not have a degree yet nor a lot of money yet. I have a part time job while I'm at university

Maybe I'm idealistic and think a girl will look at things besides money, degree, house but what can I do right now??

 

Wa alaiakum assalam. 

 

Respectfully disagree with them and marry anyway. 

[Reza]

Aww that's a bit harsh don't you think.

 

It's a gift for the girls of the world. 

[AliSaleh]

It's thinking like that has tanked society.  Thanks rubber stamper. 

 

its thinking other then this that has put so many people on welfair that people leik my parents are paying for them now.

[kim.tinkerbell]

Loool at some of the response here.

Must families under estimiate what there children say. Sleepy is not child, his an adult. Secondly there are people that have married while they are at uni, but usually their parents help them out or the guys family is rich and can afford it. I to laughed at people that wanted to marry early but if thats what they want why cant we accepte it?

It's probably tough to marry at young age but who said it will be any easier when your older? Yes,you have money, you have a job but that doesnt always secure you a marriage. People including myself need to be less critical. If a person believes there ready then be it, it's better then going and doing wrong.

Yes, your education is vital but it doesnt alway get you to where you want to be. Sleepy you should just telll them your serious and its no laughing matter but you to have to be serious. You need to provide, its not a game. And marriage may interfier with your studies you can do engagment then marry, lol thats when you get the girl you want.

Inshallah you find a wife before you open a third thread,lol.

[Wisdom Lion]

Loool at some of the response here.

Must families under estimiate what there children say. Sleepy is not child, his an adult. Secondly there are people that have married while they are at uni, but usually their parents help them out or the guys family is rich and can afford it. I to laughed at people that wanted to marry early but if thats what they want why cant we accepte it?

It's probably tough to marry at young age but who said it will be any easier when your older? Yes,you have money, you have a job but that doesnt always secure you a marriage. People including myself need to be less critical. If a person believes there ready then be it, it's better then going and doing wrong.

Yes, your education is vital but it doesnt alway get you to where you want to be. Sleepy you should just telll them your serious and its no laughing matter but you to have to be serious. You need to provide, its not a game. And marriage may interfier with your studies you can do engagment then marry, lol thats when you get the girl you want.

Inshallah you find a wife before you open a third thread,lol.

Maybe I should do muta marriage with Wendy and fly away to Neverland?

[Reza]

Also, didn't you post a while back that your parents wanted you to marry a cousin?  What happened with that?

[Wisdom Lion]

Also, didn't you post a while back that your parents wanted you to marry a cousin?  What happened with that?

She's like a 3rd or 4th cousin or something like that. She didn't wear hijab though, soo that's it pretty much

[Mlle. Advice]

Also, didn't you post a while back that your parents wanted you to marry a cousin?  What happened with that?

exactly my thoughts when i fisrt read this

 

but u said they wanted u to marry meaning marry early at ur age...now they dont want u to marry? maybe it has something to do with ur choice of who u want to marry , sometimes parents have these "perfect ppl" in their minds of who they want us to marry with

 

 

but good luck with all that u keep going through

Edited February 21, 2014 by Mlle. Advice

[Wisdom Lion]

exactly my thoughts when i fisrt read this

 

but u said they wanted u to marry meaning marry early at ur age...now they dont want u to marry? maybe it has something to do with ur choice of who u want to marry , sometimes parents have these "perfect ppl" in their minds of who they want us to marry with

 

 

but good luck with all that u keep going through

Nah, they didn't want me to marry at that time but after I potentially finish college. They wanted me to talk to this girl they liked which I refused because she didn't wear hijab.

[Pearl178]

She's like a 3rd or 4th cousin or something like that. She didn't wear hijab though, soo that's it pretty much

 

You could have convinced her to wear it and got thawab for it rather than just rejecting her immediately. 

[ice unicorn]

The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) has stated that a person who does not perform Nikah on account of his poor financial condition does not have faith and confidence in God. God says:‘If they be needy, Allah, out of His grace will make them free from want.

[Ibn-Ahmed Aliyy Herz]

Single men are rushing to get married, while those who have been married are running away from their wives lol.

 

I think us single men should take some advice from those who have been through it ;) :P

[Faithful Dome]

C'mon be realistic.

Finish your education and get settled, you'll also find an educated wife. Life will be more comfortable if you take one step at a time.

[hasanhh]

I wish GCHQ would improve their techniques. Another one of their panels just jumped-up on my screen.

 

Anyway, I hoped a couple of you would be more careful with your postings. The standard hashtag is not always properly decoding and rewriting your communications.

 

 

To continue: 7^{if_you_want_an_exotic_wife...try_a_Venitian} X 3_{they_are_only_1_planet_away}

[The Green Knight]

As Salamu Alaikum I'm 20 and I told my parent I want to get married a few months ago. I said it could be a girl of any race to find

It's been months and my parent haven't done anything because they think I should " finish university and have more money"

They think a girl and her family won't allow their daughter to marry somebody who does not have a degree yet nor a lot of money yet. I have a part time job while I'm at university

 

Your parents are absolutely right. They see what you can not see. Its best if you exercise patience -- a hell lot of patience for a hell long of a time.

 

Maybe I'm idealistic and think a girl will look at things besides money, degree, house but what can I do right now??

 

You're wrong. What she needs is truck loads of money, i.e., YOUR money which you alone earn while she sits on her fats and gulps down every last penny of yours. Forget what you see and what you know. Marriage is the most unjust punishment that a man can receive in this world. Its best to be patient and not have to marry or commit haram, no matter the means or the cost. Its never a bluff and it should not be called. Its just plain trouble.

[Deewan]

It's possible that there are people out there who are ready for marriage at twenty years of age and may even live happily ever after. However, no one I know who married that early or even in their early 20s has had a successful marriage. This is especially true in the case of men. In spite of what you believe to be the case, Wisdom Lion, you are not yet ready for marriage. You are not ready for marriage because you have not sufficiently developed personally and emotionally and have, almost certainly, lived a life that hasn't given you enough exposure and experience for a dignified, fulfilling, and mature relationship. When considering marriage, your capacity to maintain it should be the primary consideration. Other aspects, such as finances are vitally important but still secondary. You could graduate in a few years, be hired by a top-notch company, get married only to have that company close the door on you the day after your marriage. What you would require in such a situation is not money saved up under your mattress during the course of your part-time university job, but the confidence, maturity, and initiative to deal with an unexpected situation like that.

 

If you believe you've reached that level of personal development, you shouldn't have much difficulty convincing your parents. However, if you think it's because your parents are being unreasonable then you should be able to find a potential partner and convince her family on your own