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sami1

Im So Depressed

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Bismillah al-rahman al-rahim

Asalam aleykum wa rahmatallahi wa barakato all my brothers and sisters in islam.

 

The sister i loved left me, and she didnt want me more, and she even told me she lost feelings for me.

Im praying that this pain goes away, because i really loved her.

I hope all brothers and sisters in islam, can make dua for me, inshallah, i really need it now, im at that moment in my life where my fear is if my iman is too weak, since i cried when she broke my heart.

 

Im not a rich guy in wealth, nor am i patient enough, and i always got anger problems, like i really try to avoid to raise my anger, but it still happens.

 

I do pray 5 times a day, and i know if i dont make my salah on time, with no legal excuse i might dissapoint my lord s.w.t, but i still feel so sad, after this girl broke my heart.

What hurt me most is when i saw her cry a little, and she told me it will not work, because she lost a little feelings for me. I admit i have been having anger problems, but i was only mad because i felt like i wanted to start getting married, but every time i asked for her fathers number or to ask him if i could come on visit, to learn her family better, she always made excuses, so it made me mad that she kinda tried to avoid it.

 

May Allah swt bless you all, and i hope you can make dua for me so Allah swt, inshallah can make me in a good mood again, and not in a sad mood, since i try my best to keep the tears inside of me.

 

 

 

 

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You really need to give yourself more value and worth, a woman who is that cold hearted that her fiance is about to cry from a broken heart and she says "don't cry that isn't going to work I dont love you" is an evil *cough*.

 

You are a good man because you committed yourself to one woman, a lot of men don't know how to do that.

 

I suggest thinking in the following perspective, how can you want a woman who doesn't respect you or claims she doesn't want you? Do you know what a good girl would of done? She would first of all stick with you no matter what, she would die for you, this is a true woman. Not a woman who makes excuses and leaves, a good girl mostly leaves if her husband cheats or he abuses her, for big reasons like this....

 

I suggest not getting upset over a girl who doesn't respect herself or others, that is not a person who you want to love. If a girl tells you you she doesn't like you then the hell with her, find someone better.

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(bismillah)

 

(wasalam)

 

The pain you may feel for a while, but it will eventually fade  away and you will realise that this was probably one of the good things that could have happened to you. If she didn't let you speak to her father then there's definitely something wrong there. If she is acting all negative like this then you'll be grateful that she left because it seems she was making your life quite miserable. 

 

You may plan, but Allah is the best of planners. Keep your duty unto Allah, obey his basic commands, stay away from the unlawful matters, submit yourself unto him and you will continue to grow in faith day by day, helping with your anger as well. 

 

There is a reason why this happened and that's because there is probably something better for you out there.

Edited by Hussainiyat Zindabad

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its just a woman, there is billions of them in the world

if you are not finding success wherever you are then just go and visit another country , you will find a very grateful wife very quickly, especially in the third world countries

go to places like Italy, Brazil, the eastern European countries to find a wife if your not having any lucky wherever you are

but seriously its just women, there is billions and billions of them, its not as if the woman you liked so much is the only woman in the world and besides her you will never meet another

God can create them in any shape and form for you in the next world that you like so why cry over something so easily available? which in the next life people will choose like its a food dish to their liking

 

 

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Salaams

If this sister loved you truly she would never let you go. I know it's easy for us to say. Sometimes you just need to accept things and pray. I knoe exactly how you feel, when you want someone in your life but they choose to leave and you do all you can to cling on to them. It's hard but you just got to accept it.

Not giving you any false hopes or anything but I can understand that you're in a bad situation ao what I am doing in this situation which is not as bad as yours because I haven't been told anythjng as such but I am just praying to Allah to get me that person so when I do get that person I know Allah has answered my duaa

For each different situation there is a different solution. As for yours...forget her. No woman leaves a man she loved because woman appreciate love more than men and if she did love you ahe would stay by your side through good and bad

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Woa, this is so sad, you poor guy, don't worry Allah swt will hear your prayers, just move on, find a distraction i.e. hobby... . Its hard to move on sometimes in a depression phase, but all you can do is keep up prayers and recitation of Quran or even better perform ziarat Ashoora and you will be okay. Allah never burdens the soul by a calamity which he cannot handle. 

 

Take it easy. God Bless!

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Do you know what a good girl would of done? She would first of all stick with you no matter what, she would die for you, this is a true woman.

 

Books, movies...

My dear brother - every person is an ocean, so when you're into somebody, don't drown.

 

Just like actual drowning, the drowned have no power over it when it happens.

Edited by Marbles

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No offense Yuka, but sometimes you talk like a sociopath. What are you doing to yourself man? love and attachment is part of the human experience. It doesnt mean you have to make yourself utterly miserable with it, but pretending to be a robot is just as extreme.

if she was truly a great woman, she wouldnt have just left him like this

what sort of games is she playing? hence why she deserves this kind of treatment to be treated like a number if she is simply leading him on and then leaving him in ruin

i knew a woman like this before, she was evil at heart, her hijab was covering her evil not her beauty

but anyway like i said there is billions of women in the world, love is for God alone, you dont need to love anyone else but God, the rest is just fulfilling your islamic rights to others  

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Asalam aleykum my brothers and sister in islam again!

 

I would like to first say this, may Allah swt reward you all, for your help and advices!, really all those comments really make me feel happy, and i know theres 10000s of girls out there, but the feelings is kinda hard to just lose in 1 day for me :(. Like its not my first time that i intend to get engaged or married, but this time was the hardest because it is really hard to stop thinking about her at all, like sometimes i experience some pictures coming up in my head about me and her so i get bad because i memorise her again :(. But inshallah Allah swt, will make it better. Im sorry that i didnt respond yesterday fast enough , it was because i was so tired after all this and i slept at really late night. In a moment i am going to Salah al jumah inshallah, but i will inshallah be back here later !. May Allah swt grant you all the best life now and hereafter.

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but anyway like i said there is billions of women in the world, love is for God alone, you dont need to love anyone else but God, the rest is just fulfilling your islamic rights to others  

 

 

You dont think that loving others is a way of loving Allah? you dont think this is what he wants? He made us as compassionate, emotional beings for a reason. It isnt the notion of 'rights' that make people nurse each other when they are sick, go out of there way to help one another, protext and look out for each other and support and encourage one another.

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I feel your pain but it's our own doing I don't want to give u a lecture but Islamic ally relations before marriage is a no no come on I no we make mistakes I'm no different but I'maan strengthen it defend it and it will guide u brother and sisters we can't curse that girl she has her reasons u said u have anger issue's anger is a sign of shiataan one must have control over himself only way to do that is submit yourself to the almighty I'm 26 I've done so much craaaap in my life that I should dig a hole and hide myself but since this muharram somethings happened i found a pleasure in namaz that wasn't there before try finding that trust me then these worldly desires will vanish it took me 26 years to realise but the doors are always open do good u get good if ur starting is bad sinful then unfortunately the ending is bad aswell

I pray to god to give u strength u will rise stronger and on siratul mustaqeen these are all important lessons Allah teaches us to get on the right path

Ws

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Blame it on the girl for things she said, blame it on the boy for the things he does.

Dont act like your victim, you too clearly have errors so dont just make her look like the bad one...

Yukou, maybe his anger problems is enough for her to leave him,we woman dont need to deal with such behaviour. Get that in your head...

Salams

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Blame it on the girl for things she said, blame it on the boy for the things he does.

Dont act like your victim, you too clearly have errors so dont just make her look like the bad one...

Yukou, maybe his anger problems is enough for her to leave him,we woman dont need to deal with such behaviour. Get that in your head...

Salams

 

Wa aleykum al salam sister. I understand what you say and i agree with it of course. I am not perfect sister, but i have promised myself to do my best to change my anger problems no matter what, inshallah with the help of Allah swt. and i dont only blame her, and i dont want any people in here to think bad! no thats not my mission, because she has many good sides! like respect, and she was never greedy. But i just do feel like she gave up on me, and if i have anger problems, a wife that loves me, could instead try to help me get rid of the problems, instead of just leaving me. Like im telling you honestly i would never leave her, even though she had something that made me very sad too. So my point is here, that i do not talk bad about her, but i only just feel she gave up on me, while i tried my best to hold onto her even though i was mad at some things too, but i am willing to wait, because i know if Allah swt, could make me do my duties again after 1 day, how can he not change my bad habits or hers. And thanks again for all the responses may Allah swt bless you all inshallah

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You dont think that loving others is a way of loving Allah? you dont think this is what he wants? He made us as compassionate, emotional beings for a reason. It isnt the notion of 'rights' that make people nurse each other when they are sick, go out of there way to help one another, protext and look out for each other and support and encourage one another.

just because we "have" something doesnt mean we do it

if we were to measure what we can do by what we have, then nothing would be haram 

there is a hadeeth from one of the imams where the imam says "it is better to disappoint people in order to please God, as opposed to pleasing people at the cost of displeasing God" 

why has this suddenly become about me?

the woman left him, she is in the wrong, and now the poor bloke is suffering and your trying to turn this around as if the man is at fault, as if the man is the terminal velocity for all faults 

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just because we "have" something doesnt mean we do it

if we were to measure what we can do by what we have, then nothing would be haram 

there is a hadeeth from one of the imams where the imam says "it is better to disappoint people in order to please God, as opposed to pleasing people at the cost of displeasing God" 

why has this suddenly become about me?

the woman left him, she is in the wrong, and now the poor bloke is suffering and your trying to turn this around as if the man is at fault, as if the man is the terminal velocity for all faults 

 

You didnt answer my question + i have no idea where your last sentence came from; i havent commented on the OP. Your language astounds me sometimes, particularly because you claim to be someone cultivating God consciousness. When i see the dissonance between what you claim and what you project on the forum i feel moved to point it out sometimes, thats all.

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You didnt answer my question + i have no idea where your last sentence came from; i havent commented on the OP. Your language astounds me sometimes, particularly because you claim to be someone cultivating God consciousness. When i see the dissonance between what you claim and what you project on the forum i feel moved to point it out sometimes, thats all.

what do i claim? where have i claimed anything?

once again the magic "claims" that people use against me, in fact everything i have claimed is opposite to what the ignorant lot say

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brother one sided love is reli difficult. forget her and move on. there are millions of women in this world. but respect her...she might have a problem. some times good people dont get along as wel.. Allah knows you might find someone who is not only loving and wise as wel and thinks like you more. 

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"There are billions of women in the world"

"Plenty of fish in the sea"

"If one goes, dozens more will come"

blah blah

 

I don't understand what's the point of saying things like these. It is irrelevant if there are billions of women out there. It's impossible to come in contact with a 'billion women' anyway. I don't love them, don't want them; I'm talking about the one I want and love. Does it make me feel better if you tell me there are plenty of fish in the sea? No.

 

Pointless talk.

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Bismillah al-rahman al-rahim

Asalam aleykum wa rahmatallahi wa barakato all my brothers and sisters in islam.

 

The sister i loved left me, and she didnt want me more, and she even told me she lost feelings for me.

Im praying that this pain goes away, because i really loved her.

I hope all brothers and sisters in islam, can make dua for me, inshallah, i really need it now, im at that moment in my life where my fear is if my iman is too weak, since i cried when she broke my heart.

 

Im not a rich guy in wealth, nor am i patient enough, and i always got anger problems, like i really try to avoid to raise my anger, but it still happens.

 

I do pray 5 times a day, and i know if i dont make my salah on time, with no legal excuse i might dissapoint my lord s.w.t, but i still feel so sad, after this girl broke my heart.

What hurt me most is when i saw her cry a little, and she told me it will not work, because she lost a little feelings for me. I admit i have been having anger problems, but i was only mad because i felt like i wanted to start getting married, but every time i asked for her fathers number or to ask him if i could come on visit, to learn her family better, she always made excuses, so it made me mad that she kinda tried to avoid it.

 

May Allah swt bless you all, and i hope you can make dua for me so Allah swt, inshallah can make me in a good mood again, and not in a sad mood, since i try my best to keep the tears inside of me.

 

Greetings Sami,

 

I hope that my expression of care and my prayers will be welcome.  I will pray God's strength for you to overcome and grow from your experience.  I think it is wonderful to know that you can love so deeply... and tears cleanse the soul, helping to wash away the pain, and the hurt.  The tears will help wash away the depression... they help to bring the brain chemistry back into balance.  Tears are a normal, God given way of grieving. 

Pain will always come out in one of two ways... anger, or tears.  Which do you think is the better?

I used to get angry.  I learned to cry.

The memories that are so fresh right now will hurt but their vividness will diminish with time if you put your focus on your Creator and where He is leading you.  Perhaps this is not the girl He has in mind for you... perhaps this is your Creator's way of showing you things you still need to change about yourself to be ready to give, and share your life with another.

 

May the peace and blessings of God rest upon your heart, mind, and soul,

CLynn

Edited by CLynn

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"There are billions of women in the world"

"Plenty of fish in the sea"

"If one goes, dozens more will come"

blah blah

 

I don't understand what's the point of saying things like these. It is irrelevant if there are billions of women out there. It's impossible to come in contact with a 'billion women' anyway. I don't love them, don't want them; I'm talking about the one I want and love. Does it make me feel better if you tell me there are plenty of fish in the sea? No.

 

Pointless talk.

its not about "having all billion of them" its about realizing that God own and creates everything

if you spend your life without one woman , you are not at loss because in the afterlife if you are so desires of women and you make it to heaven, you cna wish for God to recreate every woman u ever seen and was enticed by and you can have her

its no big deal God owns everything, so my point is that why worry about something which is with God when we have God?

i have not been with a woman for a long long long time, and i have found such peace away from them, my mind and body and soul has never been a better peace and now i look past what most get stuck at i.e beauty and i see the real person behind the face, i see the heart and soul and usually i see that the more beautiful they are the more ugly and evil and filth is under that skin and in that heart

there is very scarce women who are beautiful inside and out , but nevertheless i have chosen to live without women, its a beautiful life for me , they are today very evil, and even if they were not evil so what i dont need them God takes care of everything for me 

i couldnt be happier 

 

 

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its not about "having all billion of them" its about realizing that God own and creates everything

if you spend your life without one woman , you are not at loss because in the afterlife if you are so desires of women and you make it to heaven, you cna wish for God to recreate every woman u ever seen and was enticed by and you can have her

its no big deal God owns everything, so my point is that why worry about something which is with God when we have God?

i have not been with a woman for a long long long time, and i have found such peace away from them, my mind and body and soul has never been a better peace and now i look past what most get stuck at i.e beauty and i see the real person behind the face, i see the heart and soul and usually i see that the more beautiful they are the more ugly and evil and filth is under that skin and in that heart

there is very scarce women who are beautiful inside and out , but nevertheless i have chosen to live without women, its a beautiful life for me , they are today very evil, and even if they were not evil so what i dont need them God takes care of everything for me 

i couldnt be happier 

 

 

 

:mellow:

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its not about "having all billion of them" its about realizing that God own and creates everything

if you spend your life without one woman , you are not at loss because in the afterlife if you are so desires of women and you make it to heaven, you cna wish for God to recreate every woman u ever seen and was enticed by and you can have her

its no big deal God owns everything, so my point is that why worry about something which is with God when we have God?

i have not been with a woman for a long long long time, and i have found such peace away from them, my mind and body and soul has never been a better peace and now i look past what most get stuck at i.e beauty and i see the real person behind the face, i see the heart and soul and usually i see that the more beautiful they are the more ugly and evil and filth is under that skin and in that heart

there is very scarce women who are beautiful inside and out , but nevertheless i have chosen to live without women, its a beautiful life for me , they are today very evil, and even if they were not evil so what i dont need them God takes care of everything for me 

i couldnt be happier 

 

 

 

More for the rest of us then.  Awesome. 

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Pointless talk.

It's real talk, though. The religious dictate that one should not become too attached to worldly matters or possessions rings true for the women you fall head over heels for in life. There's a girl at my college that I'm totally smitten with, and if I decide to get into a serious relationship with her, I'll inform her that she can, for whatever reason, decide to break up with me and I'll be completely fine with it. We can remain on friendly terms, and I can search for another love partner. But she has a promise from me that I'll never break up with her no matter what happens. I've trained my mind to align itself with the realities of the world that tend to produce positive effects.

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It's real talk, though. The religious dictate that one should not become too attached to worldly matters or possessions rings true for the women you fall head over heels for in life.

 

The religious dictate expressed through a celibate's aversion to women and gratuitous misogyny? Are you calling that real talk?

 

Nay sire, 'twas a truckload of applesauce.

 

More for the rest of us then.  Awesome. 

 

There weren't less of them before he went kaput.

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The religious dictate expressed through a celibate's aversion to women and gratuitous misogyny? Are you calling that real talk?

Clearly not. Did you read the rest of my post? I wasn't advocating his loony stance.

Edited by Chair Pundit

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