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Waiting for HIM

Muslim Marriage Crisis - A Must Read

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Great article. 

 

This can also apply to the Lebanese culture. Girls are expected to maintain the cultural norms to attract guys to them; sometimes that implies no hijab or something that can pass-off as a hijab, partying, being flirtatious, make-up and don't even get me started on plastic surgery. What about the girls that don't believe in any of that? What if it goes against everything their religion teaches them?

 

And what sort of guys are drawn to that sort of behavior? I'm not saying behaving that way makes you a bad person, but is that the type of person I would want to attract? And "arranging", introducing, helping people get married is looked down upon in the Lebanese society.That doesn't apply for everyone of course. But I'm speaking in regards to the majority. 

 

 

A definite large issue amongst the Lebanese community as well. Most men would prefer a non-hijabi and if they're not religious they will let her stay that way, if she's religious they'll insist she wear it after the marriage.That in itself causes some of the worst problems, most girls aren't convinced yet they agree to it. Then when its time to actually wear it, everything explodes. 

 

This article doesn't even begin to delve into the Shia issues. This is just Muslims in general, but Shias have it 10X worse. 

 

And I apologize for continuously using the Lebanese culture for examples, it's just the one I'm most familiar with.

(salam)

Well at least the women in your Lebanese community try to observe Hijaab... Save for one cousin (who is ironically in USA), none of my female relatives in my extended family of about 57 people observe even minimal Hijaab. And guess what, the people in our family are the custodians and owners of one of the oldest Shia Mosques in Karachi, Pakistan... I've been politely telling even my mother to at least FRIGGIN TRY!!!! And yet, not even a scratch of effort...

 

Extending on that, whenever I'm asked about my preferences for my potential wife, I always answer with these three basic traits, of which a lack of even one will automatically result in zero consideration:-

  • Observes minimum required Hijaab
  • Doesn't listen to music
  • Doesn't prescribe to fashion/make-up norms 

Overall, just a very humble and decent Momina. Can you all guess the reaction I get from my family (except my brother and 2 cousins of mine)? 

OMG YOU'VE TURNED INTO WAHABBI TALIBAN MULLAH BLAH BLAH

 

And the dilemma you have mentioned, lebsyeda, I see it with my very own eyes in my house. One cousin of mine, who's now about 31 years of age, has not yet been married because the stupid parents kept finding one fault or another in the potential husband. And now, she literally cries everyday about how she's remained unmarried. I felt so sorry for that I even considered proposing to her out of sympathy, but suddenly backed off reminding myself that I will jeopardize myself and any Islamic future my kids (Insha Allah) could have, given how culturally affected she is (listens to music, doesn't observe Hijaab)

 

My God, these cultures are so damn retarded. Ya Saheb-e-Zamaan (as), please hasten your arrival and rid us of this retardation!

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Brother wfh, it's a great piece of research. It really does pin the nail on all the real major issues of why theres a marriage crisis for Muslims communities. I'm actually surprised they didn't mention another important issue: young marriage-age men do not want to take up marriage responsibilities so they choose to stay

single (cuz it's easier).

But I think #6 is not that big of an issue, I think it shouldn't count cuz it's mostly a cultural thing. I have a friend from Morocco who just got married recently & everyone in her family knows she was the one who initiated the marriage based on her love for the guy. In fact ppl clapped for her & gave her 2 thumbs up & called her a 'real woman'.

Edited by Mlle. Advice

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(salam)

Well at least the women in your Lebanese community try to observe Hijaab... Save for one cousin (who is ironically in USA), none of my female relatives in my extended family of about 57 people observe even minimal Hijaab. And guess what, the people in our family are the custodians and owners of one of the oldest Shia Mosques in Karachi, Pakistan... I've been politely telling even my mother to at least FRIGGIN TRY!!!! And yet, not even a scratch of effort...

 

Extending on that, whenever I'm asked about my preferences for my potential wife, I always answer with these three basic traits, of which a lack of even one will automatically result in zero consideration:-

  • Observes minimum required Hijaab
  • Doesn't listen to music
  • Doesn't prescribe to fashion/make-up norms 

Overall, just a very humble and decent Momina. Can you all guess the reaction I get from my family (except my brother and 2 cousins of mine)? 

OMG YOU'VE TURNED INTO WAHABBI TALIBAN MULLAH BLAH BLAH

 

And the dilemma you have mentioned, lebsyeda, I see it with my very own eyes in my house. One cousin of mine, who's now about 31 years of age, has not yet been married because the stupid parents kept finding one fault or another in the potential husband. And now, she literally cries everyday about how she's remained unmarried. I felt so sorry for that I even considered proposing to her out of sympathy, but suddenly backed off reminding myself that I will jeopardize myself and any Islamic future my kids (Insha Allah) could have, given how culturally affected she is (listens to music, doesn't observe Hijaab)

 

My God, these cultures are so damn retarded. Ya Saheb-e-Zamaan (as), please hasten your arrival and rid us of this retardation!

 

I forgot to mention one really important reason:

 

12. Men/Women who try to find someone already cut to their needs and choosing. They ignore the fact that people grow together and become better overtime.

 

Brother HellHound, I'll remove all three from the above, as long as she commits to do it. At least the music and the makeup has to go. Hijab yes, but then again be prepared that you both would be growing intellectually and in eiman and what your/her definition of Hijab is today would be way much higher and deep a decade down the road.

Edited by Waiting for HIM

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(salam)

Well at least the women in your Lebanese community try to observe Hijaab... Save for one cousin (who is ironically in USA), none of my female relatives in my extended family of about 57 people observe even minimal Hijaab. And guess what, the people in our family are the custodians and owners of one of the oldest Shia Mosques in Karachi, Pakistan... I've been politely telling even my mother to at least FRIGGIN TRY!!!! And yet, not even a scratch of effort...

 

Extending on that, whenever I'm asked about my preferences for my potential wife, I always answer with these three basic traits, of which a lack of even one will automatically result in zero consideration:-

  • Observes minimum required Hijaab
  • Doesn't listen to music
  • Doesn't prescribe to fashion/make-up norms 

Overall, just a very humble and decent Momina. Can you all guess the reaction I get from my family (except my brother and 2 cousins of mine)? 

OMG YOU'VE TURNED INTO WAHABBI TALIBAN MULLAH BLAH BLAH

 

And the dilemma you have mentioned, lebsyeda, I see it with my very own eyes in my house. One cousin of mine, who's now about 31 years of age, has not yet been married because the stupid parents kept finding one fault or another in the potential husband. And now, she literally cries everyday about how she's remained unmarried. I felt so sorry for that I even considered proposing to her out of sympathy, but suddenly backed off reminding myself that I will jeopardize myself and any Islamic future my kids (Insha Allah) could have, given how culturally affected she is (listens to music, doesn't observe Hijaab)

 

My God, these cultures are so damn retarded. Ya Saheb-e-Zamaan (as), please hasten your arrival and rid us of this retardation!

 

Be patient and kind with your mother and make du'a.  Think the best of her.

 

No music at all?  Even music that does not include haram themes?

And no make up?  This is a rather high expectation.  Many women wear make up, but you cannot tell if it is minimal (at least guys can't seem to tell).  I would like to let you in on something: many women wear make up because they do not feel good about their flaws, not because they are interested in bringing attention to themselves, on the contrary, they are trying to make it so that that giant pimple isn't the first thing you notice.  And as for fashion, I am guessing you mean being obsessed with trends?

Edited by Fatima Hussain

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Fatima Hussain. Many. But not all. The most I've ever worn was eyeliner and I gave that up years ago. But maybe that's just me. In any case perhaps the zeni part of makeup isn't HellHounds point. I think you actually hit on something much bigger. Maybe a mother needs to be comfortable enough to love and embrace herself with all her flaws to be able to pass that feeling on to her kids n husband.

With all due respect HellHound, I prefer the girl who stays hijab-less rather than the one who degrades it and makes it into a joke and doesn't even remotely believe in it. But before I let you go around thinking most of my fam is hijabis and feeling all bad about urs, let me just say were split pretty even. Its a 50:50 ratio and amongst the 50% that are hijabis I'd say 5% are actually hijabis.

What's worse a hijabi belly dancing n listening to music? Or a non hijabi belly dancing? Most of my fam cant comprehend why its wrong for a girl to dance in front of men. No matter how many times I try to explain someone always comes back with somethingn like; stop making religion into a prison.

My aunt and I had a Jerry Springer episode because I refused to show my neck for a cousins wedding. (Ok the arabic version of jerry springer, it still counts tho)

And lets not get started on the men. All things are halal because well they're men and the culture says so.

Marriage in our culture has become a horrid topic because peoples actions have made it so. People are scared of marriage, instead of rushing towards it they run away from it. Men and women alike. Men have girlfriends and women have boyfriends and they bring their experience into a pure marriage and taint it with their expectations.

May Allah hear ur dua! And hasten his (atfs) appearance before the retardedness continues to spread.

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Fatima Hussain. Many. But not all. The most I've ever worn was eyeliner and I gave that up years ago. But maybe that's just me. In any case perhaps the zeni part of makeup isn't HellHounds point. I think you actually hit on something much bigger. Maybe a mother needs to be comfortable enough to love and embrace herself with all her flaws to be able to pass that feeling on to her kids n husband.

With all due respect HellHound, I prefer the girl who stays hijab-less rather than the one who degrades it and makes it into a joke and doesn't even remotely believe in it. But before I let you go around thinking most of my fam is hijabis and feeling all bad about urs, let me just say were split pretty even. Its a 50:50 ratio and amongst the 50% that are hijabis I'd say 5% are actually hijabis.

What's worse a hijabi belly dancing n listening to music? Or a non hijabi belly dancing? Most of my fam cant comprehend why its wrong for a girl to dance in front of men. No matter how many times I try to explain someone always comes back with somethingn like; stop making religion into a prison.

My aunt and I had a Jerry Springer episode because I refused to show my neck for a cousins wedding. (Ok the arabic version of jerry springer, it still counts tho)

And lets not get started on the men. All things are halal because well they're men and the culture says so.

Marriage in our culture has become a horrid topic because peoples actions have made it so. People are scared of marriage, instead of rushing towards it they run away from it. Men and women alike. Men have girlfriends and women have boyfriends and they bring their experience into a pure marriage and taint it with their expectations.

May Allah hear ur dua! And hasten his (atfs) appearance before the retardedness continues to spread.

 

So how come families like these produce females like yourself?

(salam)

Well at least the women in your Lebanese community try to observe Hijaab... Save for one cousin (who is ironically in USA), none of my female relatives in my extended family of about 57 people observe even minimal Hijaab. And guess what, the people in our family are the custodians and owners of one of the oldest Shia Mosques in Karachi, Pakistan... I've been politely telling even my mother to at least FRIGGIN TRY!!!! And yet, not even a scratch of effort...

 

Extending on that, whenever I'm asked about my preferences for my potential wife, I always answer with these three basic traits, of which a lack of even one will automatically result in zero consideration:-

  • Observes minimum required Hijaab
  • Doesn't listen to music
  • Doesn't prescribe to fashion/make-up norms 

Overall, just a very humble and decent Momina. Can you all guess the reaction I get from my family (except my brother and 2 cousins of mine)? 

OMG YOU'VE TURNED INTO WAHABBI TALIBAN MULLAH BLAH BLAH

 

And the dilemma you have mentioned, lebsyeda, I see it with my very own eyes in my house. One cousin of mine, who's now about 31 years of age, has not yet been married because the stupid parents kept finding one fault or another in the potential husband. And now, she literally cries everyday about how she's remained unmarried. I felt so sorry for that I even considered proposing to her out of sympathy, but suddenly backed off reminding myself that I will jeopardize myself and any Islamic future my kids (Insha Allah) could have, given how culturally affected she is (listens to music, doesn't observe Hijaab)

 

My God, these cultures are so damn retarded. Ya Saheb-e-Zamaan (as), please hasten your arrival and rid us of this retardation!

 

So how come families likes these produce men like yourself?

 

There must be something RIGHT they both have been doing!!

Edited by Waiting for HIM

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So how come families like these produce females like yourself?

 

So how come families likes these produce men like yourself?

 

There must be something RIGHT they both have been doing!!

My reply is the same as sister Lebsyeda87.

 

I think I should clarify further on my last 2 required basic traits:-

 

By "music", I meant garbage like Justin Bieber, Rihanna, and all those other retarded mainstream dung that has polluted the youth. A little classical music or tunes which help you relax or fall asleep are very much acceptable given that I sometimes indulge in these myself.

 

As far as the second trait is concerned, I'm not a hardcore potential wife abuser lol. The occasional light lip-stick with some mascara or whatever the heck women like putting on their face is fine for me (I also make an absolute exception for when/if she wishes to hide some dark spots or pimples or scars, like sister Fatima Hussain said before me)... I just don't want her to turn out as an attention seeker (for other people)  :donno:

Be patient and kind with your mother and make du'a.  Think the best of her.

Oh I do sis. She's been a good mother to me. I don't think badly of her. I just want to think even more positively of her in the future.

Edited by HellHound

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Haven't you forgotten something?
The money issue? I mean man-not woman-is supposed to maintain his family  through halal means. Not saying that nowadays it is impossible to do that, but almost impossible :P

The halal means(money) is with the rich people or the governments who steal their people's money(money which belongs to people).

Saddam, Gaddafi, and etc.

So in Islamic countries the aristocrats or (self-elected) governments steal the money with which people are supposed to maintain a family.

So young people in East and West suffer because of greedy Muslims.

Edited by Shiabro

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The post on Lebanese culture above ^ is true. I have noticed that among Lebanese women and it's basically obvious to us Gulf societies. You need only to watch & keep track of a few Arabic channels and their programs to realize this about the Lebanese. The women who appear on television are practically plastic Barbie dolls & they try to set this 'standard' for how women in the middle east should be. Lebanese culture is very materialistic and superficial indeed. There is also this ' consensus' in the Gulf & other Arab societies, whether true or not, that Lebanese woman practically would do ANYTHING for money & to get rich.

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Not even just for Muslims. It has happened to us too. We have pressures or must marry same religion, same culture, same village, certain age, etc, etc. Really narrows down who you can marry. Plus the older generations expect that you marry someone as they once did with the same mentality as they had, which times have changes and in terms of young women, they have let these young women live alone at university, allowed them to have a party life, and then when it comes times for them to look for a suitable spouse it is all "No man is holding me down! I will do what I want! The thought of having children makes me sick, it is my body I will do what I want! I want to date 4 or 5 years before marriage! I want a bigger house, yours is not big enough!" the list goes on...

What kind of women do you meet....???  Most women want to have a husband and children, or at least, a partner and children.  I think it is young girls who mainly think like that, but fortunately most will grow out of it.  How old are you?  You also meet the kind of guy who wants to have sex and then not own up to the responsibility of supporting the child it produces...

Edited by Fatima Hussain

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What kind of women do you meet....??? Most women want to have a husband and children, or at least, a partner and children. I think it is young girls who mainly think like that, but fortunately most will grow out of it. How old are you? You also meet the kind of guy who wants to have sex and then not own up to the responsibility of supporting the child it produces...

Women in their mid 20s from a "traditional" family. I've also been introduced to women in their early 30s with the same attitude. It's actually quite depressing to me. They seem repulsed by a man who earns a living, owns a house, values culture and religion, and wants to start a family. They funny thing is those these same women complain they cannot find a good man yet they're all over these playboys in clubs who want to just sleep with them like this is perfectly fine.

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The post on Lebanese culture above ^ is true. I have noticed that among Lebanese women and it's basically obvious to us Gulf societies. You need only to watch & keep track of a few Arabic channels and their programs to realize this about the Lebanese. The women who appear on television are practically plastic Barbie dolls & they try to set this 'standard' for how women in the middle east should be. Lebanese culture is very materialistic and superficial indeed. There is also this ' consensus' in the Gulf & other Arab societies, whether true or not, that Lebanese woman practically would do ANYTHING for money & to get rich.

Hey hey only Lebanese are allowed to bash Lebanese lol.

On a serious note though I've seen that in every culture, the only difference is for Lebanese people its a norm that they always flaunt. Plastic surgery has become normal in every Middle Eastern country, except in Lebanon they think its cute to flaunt it, where in other countries its top secret.

Most Lebanese girls, especially Shia ones, look nothing like those girls on TV. And they are a joke even for us Lebanese people. That consensus however is true for any culture, you will always find some people willing to do anything for money.

However those who say all Lebanese women are willing to do anything for money, haven't actually met and dealt with Lebanese women.

The majority of the Lebanese population is materialistic, such as any other society. However, the Lebanese people have been suffering wars and turmoil for generations so perhaps mentally they have begun to link money with stability. The Gulf countries that you're referring to have not.

Women in their mid 20s from a "traditional" family. I've also been introduced to women in their early 30s with the same attitude. It's actually quite depressing to me. They seem repulsed by a man who earns a living, owns a house, values culture and religion, and wants to start a family. They funny thing is those these same women complain they cannot find a good man yet they're all over these playboys in clubs who want to just sleep with them like this is perfectly fine.

Aren't you Catholic??? All of my Catholic friends are nothing like that!

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Hey hey only Lebanese are allowed to bash Lebanese lol.

On a serious note though I've seen that in every culture, the only difference is for Lebanese people its a norm that they always flaunt. Plastic surgery has become normal in every Middle Eastern country, except in Lebanon they think its cute to flaunt it, where in other countries its top secret.

Most Lebanese girls, especially Shia ones, look nothing like those girls on TV. And they are a joke even for us Lebanese people. That consensus however is true for any culture, you will always find some people willing to do anything for money.

However those who say all Lebanese women are willing to do anything for money, haven't actually met and dealt with Lebanese women.

The majority of the Lebanese population is materialistic, such as any other society. However, the Lebanese people have been suffering wars and turmoil for generations so perhaps mentally they have begun to link money with stability. The Gulf countries that you're referring to have not.

Aren't you Catholic??? All of my Catholic friends are nothing like that!

Yes I am. But what aren't your friends like?

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Women in their mid 20s from a "traditional" family. I've also been introduced to women in their early 30s with the same attitude. It's actually quite depressing to me. They seem repulsed by a man who earns a living, owns a house, values culture and religion, and wants to start a family. They funny thing is those these same women complain they cannot find a good man yet they're all over these playboys in clubs who want to just sleep with them like this is perfectly fine.

Why would a woman not be okay with a man with a job and a house?

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Why would a woman not be okay with a man with a job and a house?

Because they're not ok with living in something which is within the man's means. The main point isn't even that it's more the fact that once you discuss relationships with them they begin to have this perception of them being locked away never to see day light again. Most women seem to see men as predators or something. I cannot even compliment a girl I've asked pit to coffee without being told "I don't wear my hair this way to impress you! " like come on what is that? And they say men are jerks...

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They seem repulsed by a man who earns a living, owns a house, values culture and religion, and wants to start a family.

 

The funny thing is those these same women complain they cannot find a good man yet they're all over these playboys in clubs who want to just sleep with them like this is perfectly fine.

 

 

Most catholic girls I know are strict in their habits and faith because their families raised them with values. To them its trashy and classless to be partying in a club with guys like the ones you're describing. Yes they drink, and party, but very casually and most of the time its more like family events.

 

One of my closest friends doesn't want to waste her time "having fun", she never casually dates, when she does date someone her only goal is to see if he's a potential life partner and usually she cuts it off after three dates if she finds he's not. 

 

I dont know maybe you're just looking in the wrong places. 

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Because they're not ok with living in something which is within the man's means. The main point isn't even that it's more the fact that once you discuss relationships with them they begin to

have this perception of them being locked away

never to see day light again. Most women seem

to see men as predators or something. I cannot

even compliment a girl I've asked pit to coffee

without being told "I don't wear my hair this way

to impress you! " like come on what is that?

And they say men are jerks...

Oh man I'm sorry but that was just hilarious!

But true even I find a woman who says something like that to be a rude one indeed. Like come on who says something like that for no apparent reason?? I understand what you mean, you have good point honestly.

Maybe for these women they have associated a man (husband) with some sort of commander. You know, to them husband & commander probably mean the same thing. And that's probably how they trained their mentality to see it that way. So any man no matter how open minded, liberal, or modern, would all mean the same thing to them.

That's what I think is their problem. Could have nothing to do with you.

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Because they're not ok with living in something which is within the man's means. The main point isn't even that it's more the fact that once you discuss relationships with them they begin to have this perception of them being locked away never to see day light again. Most women seem to see men as predators or something. I cannot even compliment a girl I've asked pit to coffee without being told "I don't wear my hair this way to impress you! " like come on what is that? And they say men are jerks...

Hmm...I've noticed that some feminists propagate women acting like men as "liberation."  Having sex with lots of men on a whim and rejecting monogamy as repressive is suppose to be liberation for women.  It's really terrible and thinking that is damaging for young girls. People think I am either sexually repressed or idealistic because I only want to have sex with one person for the rest of my life.  Honestly, before I became Muslim, I wanted to become a nun because I thought there were no guys out there that were willing to wait.

Most catholic girls I know are strict in their habits and faith because their families raised them with values. To them its trashy and classless to be partying in a club with guys like the ones you're describing. Yes they drink, and party, but very casually and most of the time its more like family events.

 

One of my closest friends doesn't want to waste her time "having fun", she never casually dates, when she does date someone her only goal is to see if he's a potential life partner and usually she cuts it off after three dates if she finds he's not. 

 

I dont know maybe you're just looking in the wrong places. 

Lol.  It really depends on the Catholic.  My half-sister is Catholic and she is wild...My dad's ex-mother-in-law was Catholic and she had two boyfriends living in the same house with her!!

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Hey hey only Lebanese are allowed to bash Lebanese lol.

On a serious note though I've seen that in every

culture, the only difference is for Lebanese

people its a norm that they always flaunt. Plastic

surgery has become normal in every Middle

Eastern country, except in Lebanon they think its

cute to flaunt it, where in other countries its top

secret.

Most Lebanese girls, especially Shia ones, look

nothing like those girls on TV. And they are a

joke even for us Lebanese people. That

consensus however is true for any culture, you

will always find some people willing to do

anything for money.

However those who say all Lebanese women are willing to do anything for money, haven't

actually met and dealt with Lebanese women.

The majority of the Lebanese population is

materialistic, such as any other society.

However, the Lebanese people have been

suffering wars and turmoil for generations so

perhaps mentally they have begun to link money

with stability. The Gulf countries that you're

referring to have not.

Not with the intention of bashing, I was actually giving the common consensus that you would most likely hear in the Gulf & I suppose other Arab countries. I was actually wondering the same if these stereotypes are mere generalizations or actually true. I know Arabs tend to exaggerate about a lot of things and you're right these accusations are probably not 100% true & they shouldn't hold them against Lebanese ppl.

Culturally I guess in the Gulf women don't usually publicize what surgeries they've had with their bodies. These matters are considered private but today people are going against traditions & want to portray it as a normal thing. You can see even for yourself those make-over shows on Arabic tv, like Joelle, Anti Ajmal and whatever else wastes our time. Personally I like

watching Joelle sometimes :P she's such a

character!

But honestly sometimes Arab shows perpetuate these stereotypes instead of helping us remove them. Like in every 'mafia' series there's always this Lebanese actress (playing the role as Lebanese), who caters to the men in the mafia or gang or whatever. It is from the sad fate of our tv shows that Arabs are getting such ideas.

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Most catholic girls I know are strict in their habits and faith because their families raised them with values. To them its trashy and classless to be partying in a club with guys like the ones you're describing. Yes they drink, and party, but very casually and most of the time its more like family events.

 

One of my closest friends doesn't want to waste her time "having fun", she never casually dates, when she does date someone her only goal is to see if he's a potential life partner and usually she cuts it off after three dates if she finds he's not. 

 

I dont know maybe you're just looking in the wrong places. 

 

Yes most proper Catholic girls are meant to be like that. I think it is ones raised in places like Australia, who may have been allowed to do more than others for example, more "liberated" if you will, that develop these bad attitudes. I meet these girls through people I know, usually i am told how nice they are, how clean and good they are etc, then i meet them, they are nothing like people have described to me. And the big thing is too, that i  do not drink, how many have told me how boring i am because of that!!

 

Oh man I'm sorry but that was just hilarious!

But true even I find a woman who says something like that to be a rude one indeed. Like come on who says something like that for no apparent reason?? I understand what you mean, you have good point honestly.

Maybe for these women they have associated a man (husband) with some sort of commander. You know, to them husband & commander probably mean the same thing. And that's probably how they trained their mentality to see it that way. So any man no matter how open minded, liberal, or modern, would all mean the same thing to them.

That's what I think is their problem. Could have nothing to do with you.

 

Yes i feel they have. It is the view they probably have had drilled into their head by their more liberal peers or older people in their life trying to help them be independent. I know i am not perfect, but I know it is nothing to do with me, i am too old fashioned, this generation does not appreciate that.

 

 

Hmm...I've noticed that some feminists propagate women acting like men as "liberation."  Having sex with lots of men on a whim and rejecting monogamy as repressive is suppose to be liberation for women.  It's really terrible and thinking that is damaging for young girls. People think I am either sexually repressed or idealistic because I only want to have sex with one person for the rest of my life.  Honestly, before I became Muslim, I wanted to become a nun because I thought there were no guys out there that were willing to wait.

Lol.  It really depends on the Catholic.  My half-sister is Catholic and she is wild...My dad's ex-mother-in-law was Catholic and she had two boyfriends living in the same house with her!!

 

It does depend on the Catholic. I have noticed from my own cultural background, Catholics tend to be stricter, more cultural in terms of what they do, and try to be "proper". Catholics here seem, in most cases though, to have gone off the rails. Most tell me "Don't take the bible seriously" or "We are christians, and everyone else does this or that" etc. The best one i have heard is "I went to a Catholic school, and it made me hate my religion. I do not believe in God".

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Yes most proper Catholic girls are meant to be like that. I think it is ones raised in places like Australia, who may have been allowed to do more than others for example, more "liberated" if

you will, that develop these bad attitudes. I meet

these girls through people I know, usually i am

told how nice they are, how clean and good they

are etc, then i meet them, they are nothing like

people have described to me. And the big thing

is too, that i do not drink, how many have told

me how boring i am because of that!!

but I know it is nothing to do with me, i

am too old fashioned, this generation does not appreciate that..

Believe it or not I've faced a similar situation as

well. I was introduced to a man whom lots of ppl

in my family said wonderful things about him cuz they knew him for many years. They kept telling

me such things I felt like I was dreaming Lol.

They made it seem like he was " one in a

million" as they say in America. When I met him

I was literally shocked! SHOCKED! &

Speechless! I almost went into that phase where

you absolutely cannot speak, move, or even

blink. I dont know what it's called but you see it

in the movies a lot Lol. This man was the exact

opposite, a 360 degree turn from what I kept

hearing of him. Of the smaller things, he was Loud, Rude, & Obnoxious. Even ppl who were of those 3 would not stand him for 5 seconds. And

funny, he thought I was boring too cuz I made it

obvious I don't drink or party Western-style!

Then he calls himself a Muslim....yeah I'm sure

he is...*roll eyes*

But what I realized was that my family members knew him from work. They were acquaintances at a University. So which is why they thought he was an Angel. Ppl behave themselves differently when they're at work, school, any formal place. Then you see another side of them when they're with family or friends. It's the real them you see.

Edited by Mlle. Advice

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