Wife Beating The Husband?

[Crimson]

Salam,

 

I was asked why the verse 34 in Surat An-Nisa allowed men to beat their wife. After explaining that they could but only with a toothbrush, without leaving any marks and not hitting the face, etc, I was asked if women have the same rights.

 

So can women beat their husbands with a tooth brush or no?

[BeBea]

I would like to know as well.

[notme]

Interesting question.

[Raven]

I would like to know as well.

 

 

Sure you would.  :shifty:

[-Enlightened]

Salam Alaikom

 

no no no 

 

no one has the right to beat anyone. If you study arabic litterature, you will see that the word ''Dharaba'' in arabic means ''to distance yourself''

 

this verse means to distance yourselves from your wife for a while,NOT to beat her.

 

This tafsir is according to Sayyid Mujtaba Musavi Lari , may Allah bless his soul. in his book ''commentary of the quran''

Edited January 12, 2014 by -Enlightened

[Crimson]

Salam Alaikom

 

no no no 

 

no one has the right to beat anyone. If you study arabic litterature, you will see that the word ''Dharaba'' in arabic means ''to distance yourself''

 

this verse means to distance yourselves from your wife for a while,NOT to beat her.

 

This tafsir is according to Sayyid Mujtaba Musavi Lari , may Allah bless his soul. in his book ''commentary of the quran''

 

Are you sure? So whats with all the interpretations and translations referring to beating very lightly?

[Jahangiram]

^^ Dude just use the word 'hit', it conveys the meaning better than any beating ever could.

[-Enlightened]

Are you sure? So whats with all the interpretations and translations referring to beating very lightly?

 

 

Probably people who wanted to make Islam seem proper, so they interpreted that way over time.

 

In reality, arabic quranic language has no violent word, ''dharaba'' which is now used  in the language means ''to hit / to beat '' , BUT this is not its real definition.. the real definition is ''to distance yourself''

 

even the word ''lanatullah '' in the quran is not violent. it means ''to remove the mercy'' ,, but people have made it seem like it is a big curse word 

Edited January 12, 2014 by -Enlightened

[Abu'l Khattab]

Apparently FadhlAllah allowed it. 

[Robin Hood]

Salam Alaikom

 

no no no 

 

no one has the right to beat anyone. If you study arabic litterature, you will see that the word ''Dharaba'' in arabic means ''to distance yourself''

 

this verse means to distance yourselves from your wife for a while,NOT to beat her.

 

This tafsir is according to Sayyid Mujtaba Musavi Lari , may Allah bless his soul. in his book ''commentary of the quran''

 

Why is the Qur'an too ambiguous?

Apparently FadhlAllah allowed it. 

 

He's not a marja'.

[Raven]

Why is the Qur'an too ambiguous?

 

He's not a marja'.

 

The marhoom was a marja, he still has followers. 

[Robin Hood]

The marhoom was a marja, he still has followers. 

 

A lot of marja's issued fatwas against him.

[Martyrdom]

The stand of Islam from hitting the woman

 

Q: What is the Islamic stand from hitting the woman? What are its limits and backgrounds? What is the role of religious scholars in making reform and finding the necessary religious means to deal with this issue?

A: Islam does not allow the husband to hit his wife, except in a single and very exceptional case; that is, when the woman denies her husband his marital rights without any acceptable justification, whether physical, psychological or religious. In this case, the husband has to advise his wife and counsel her; if this does not work, he might opt to refuse to share the bed with her; if this does not work and there was no other way to deal with the issue and to safeguard the marital life, in this case, he is allowed to hit her lightly in a way that does not cause any injuries or fractures, provided that this method helps in solving this problem; if not, the husband is not allowed to hit his wife.

We call for having psychologists or people specialized in the field of marital life so as to find real solutions to the family problems we are facing in the reality

 

The principle is that hitting is impermissible, as it does not solve a problem; rather, it further complicates it. However, it becomes permissible if it is the only way to solve the problem and to keep the issue within the married couple as much as possible. If this could not be reached, there are other means that the husband can resort to, such as abstaining from providing for his wife financially and things could even reach the level of divorce.

Islam made sure through its legislations to protect the marital institution. In this respect, it is useful to have counselors in our society specialized in solving marital problems, just as there are counselors for other fields of life. Moreover, there should be doctors for treating marital problems just as there are doctors for treating health problems… The doctors and counselors are needed to prescribe the medications and treatments necessary to solve the marital problems. We also consider it necessary that the couples be prepared originally for the marital life and they should be trained in a way that they know how to deal with their problems.

http://english.bayynat.org.lb/Women/Women_InterviewSayyedAliFadlullah.htm

Why is the Qur'an too ambiguous?

 

He's not a marja'.

Yes he is.

A lot of marja's issued fatwas against him.

And a lot of marja did not.

[kim.tinkerbell]

Apparently FadhlAllah allowed it.

What has fadhallah not allowed is a good question.

Adraab has two meaning, so adrab can mean distincing oneself like sis englighing stated but it also can mean hitting depending on how you spell the kelamah. Hitting with a tooth brush is a joke, I think if will even lighteen the mood because she will think are you mad hitting me with the brush lol.

I think it alone makes sense to remove or distance yourself from the person. And it makes more sense because a if you hit with toothbursh you can leave red small marks depending on where you hit. So if red makes are not allowed then the whhole tharab concepte is not accpteable.

Woman are wearker naturelly, unless shes a body bulider she wornt harm you as much as a man can do.

Its unnecessary to beat anyone, just remove your self from the room if you feel like your going to hit that person man or female.

[Ruq]

30:21 'And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.'

 

4:19 'O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.'

 

25:74 And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."

[latifa]

_Salams,

_{Allah sent us Ahlu Bayt a.s. so we don't make up His directions in our own imaginations.}

_{I've been waiting to see the Tafsir of Ahlu Bayt a.s. on this ayat of Qur'an for a long time.}

 

_{Going to the Arabic root word as someone suggested is very helpful.... translations can really miss a lot.}

 

_{NO ONE BUT AHUL BAYT A.S. HAS THE RIGHT TO DO TAFSIR OF QUR'AN AND THAT IS WHAT AHLU BAYT A.S. SAID.}

 

_{There are many hadith about not even hitting an animal except in specific situations... and then never on the head... i'm obviously not quoting exactly but i think yoiu ge t the idea}

[Marbles]

Why, some guys here tend to read the verse in question, a verse they arguably know most well out of the whole Quran, as if it is obligatory on them to "beat" their wives with a truth brush in the event of disobedience on their wives' part?, as if, if they do not beat, they would be guilty of not acting on the injunction in the verse?

 

Why they can't just put their thinking hats on (oh how I hate this stupid cliche) and cite verses preaching compassion, love and not giving in to unbridled anger? Must be that those verses are so hard to find? The Quran is so big, you know.

 

It's the mindset, people, that is the problem. Not the verse.

[Jahangiram]

You guys are being a bit too emotional that youre not even reading the question properly. He's talking about a wife beating the husband and whether its ok.

Why, some guys here tend to read the verse in question, a verse they arguably know most well out of the whole Quran, as if it is obligatory on them to "beat" their wives with a truth brush in the event of disobedience on their wives' part?, as if, if they do not beat, they would be guilty of not acting on the injunction in the verse?

 

Why they can't just put their thinking hats on (oh how I hate this stupid cliche) and cite verses preaching compassion, love and not giving in to unbridled anger? Must be that those verses are so hard to find? The Quran is so big, you know.

 

It's the mindset, people, that is the problem. Not the verse.

Hhhhh exactly since when do men with anger go through the step of admonition, then separating beds then a light hit. They just jump straight to harming out of anger, silly people. That's the ironic thing, that this aya was actually a step to curb the anger of men by ordering them to take compassionate, rational measures when their obligatory rights aren't fulfilled.

 

..and the only obligatory rights are sexual satisfaction and guarding property in the husband's absence, nothing else. Angry wife beaters just clench their fists whenever their wife doesn't work for his lazy ass.

Edited January 12, 2014 by Jahangiram

[Crimson]

This got too emotional for a simple question. I simply wanted to know that if the verse applies to a woman (if they can hit their husbands with a 'toothbrush' lool).

 

Interesting that people on here state that the word dharaba actually means to distant yourself when a lot of scholars translated it to beat someone. But I do agree that violence in a marriage never solves anything, if that makes people feel happier... 

Edited January 13, 2014 by Crimson

[Marbles]

This got too emotional for a simple question. I simply wanted to know that if the verse applies to a woman (if they can hit their husbands with a 'toothbrush' lool).

 

Oh yeah. Talk about how threads go off topic.

 

To answer the question, there is nothing to suggest that it applies conversely. So no, wives can't beat their husbands.

[Crimson]

Oh yeah. Talk about how threads go off topic.

 

To answer the question, there is nothing to suggest that it applies conversely. So no, wives can't beat their husbands.

 

But is there anything that suggests it doesn't apply to women?

[Marbles]

But is there anything that suggests it doesn't apply to women?

 

I knew someone would raise this point. I don't know, honestly. But this is not an instance of 'permissible until proven otherwise'. If there's nothing that suggests it doesn't apply to women, it wouldn't follow that it applies.

 

This is a special verse setting a special criteria in special circumstances.

[Jahangiram]

Are you lot a bunch of freshies or something? Is it really too impossible for you to use the word hit :donno: Beat means hitting repeatedly and if I hit (dharaba) one of you chewbaccas on the head it wont mean im hitting it repeatedly.

 

Damn.

[Fatima NMA]

if you read the verse 34 in soorat النساء carefully u can see that it clearly tells men: IF THEY FEAR that their women might DISOBEY them(recalcitrance,the exact word), THEN they must exhort them,and desert them,and HIT them.

 

so obviously the word darb here can't mean anything other than hit(in a manner that is already mentioned above..),because the owrd هجر already includes distancing themselves...

 

Allah knows best.

[CLynn]

Probably people who wanted to make Islam seem proper, so they interpreted that way over time.

 

In reality, arabic quranic language has no violent word, ''dharaba'' which is now used  in the language means ''to hit / to beat '' , BUT this is not its real definition.. the real definition is ''to distance yourself''

 

even the word ''lanatullah '' in the quran is not violent. it means ''to remove the mercy'' ,, but people have made it seem like it is a big curse word 

 

Greetings Enlightened,

 

I guess the important point is, whatever the word means, whatever its definition is... what did the husbands practice?  That would reveal the understood meaning, and we do know that Muhammad hit Aisha, do we not?  Or, what was it that Muhammad said to the wife who came to him green with bruises?  Didn't he send her back to the husband that gave her those bruises?  And Aisha once said she never saw any woman suffer so much as the muslim woman, correct?

 

Salaam,

CLynn

Edited January 13, 2014 by CLynn

[Jahangiram]

Greetings Enlightened,

 

I guess the important point is, whatever the word means, whatever its definition is... what did the husbands practice?  That would reveal the understood meaning, and we do know that Muhammad hit Aisha, do we not?  Or, what was it that Muhammad said to the wife who came to him green with bruises?  Didn't he send her back to the husband that gave her those bruises?  And Aisha once said she never saw any woman suffer so much as the muslim woman, correct?

 

Salaam,

CLynn

Hhhhhh this account is a broken record (is it even human?), he/she said the same stuff before and was given rebuttals and repeats the same clichéd material again like everything's new to him/her.

 

And its not even relavant to the topic in this case; as IloveImamHussain said, your gramophone doesn't stop.

 

Welcome to the internet.

Edited January 13, 2014 by Jahangiram

[lalala123]

Beat 'em up good! Good and proper!

[Mlle. Advice]

Beat 'em up good! Good and proper!

You're joking right??

[notme]

Greetings Enlightened,

I guess the important point is, whatever the word means, whatever its definition is... what did the husbands practice? That would reveal the understood meaning, and we do know that Muhammad hit Aisha, do we not? Or, what was it that Muhammad said to the wife who came to him green with bruises? Didn't he send her back to the husband that gave her those bruises? And Aisha once said she never saw any woman suffer so much as the muslim woman, correct?

Salaam,

CLynn

Are you referring to Sunni Hadith? You know we don't accept bukhari, don't you?

[CLynn]

Are you referring to Sunni Hadith? You know we don't accept bukhari, don't you?

 

Greetings notme,

 

It is possible sunni hadith.  I'm not really able to keep track of the sources, only know what I have read.  I figure it is easy enough for others to check on for themselves.

Either way it matters what is practiced, right?  That is what would indicate what is believed.

 

Salaam,

CLynn

and Jahangiram... just because you reject sunni hadith does not prove to me that they are incorrect.  Obviously the sunni's believe they are correct.  So as I said... what matters is what is practiced... this is what indicates what is believed.

Salaam.

[Jahangiram]

and Jahangiram... just because you reject sunni hadith does not prove to me that they are incorrect.  Obviously the sunni's believe they are correct.  So as I said... what matters is what is practiced... this is what indicates what is believed.

Salaam.

You're really that forgetful? The response I gave you last time was a sunni response; can you please quit your habit of bringing irrelevant polemics when the context of the topic isn't asking for it?

 

Here let me refresh your memory:

 

 

وعنها قالت‏:‏ ما ضرب رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم شيئاً قط بيده، ولا امرأة ولا خادماً، إلا أن يجاهد في سبيل الله، وما نيل منه شئ قط فينتقم من صاحبه، إلا أن ينتهك شئ من محارم الله تعالى، فينتقم لله تعالى‏.‏ ‏

‏‏

 

'Aishah reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) never hit anything with his hand neither a servant nor a woman but of course, he did fight in the Cause of Allah. He never took revenge upon anyone for the wrong done to him, but of course, he exacted retribution for the sake of Allah in case the Injunctions of Allah about unlawful acts were violated. - (Riyad Al-Salihin, Book of Miscellany)

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Edited January 14, 2014 by Jahangiram

[lalala123]

You're joking right??

Deadly serious!!

[Robin Hood]

Can't folks on here just use the tafsir of the Ahlul-Bayt?

[HamzaTR]

I am pretty sorry for the Iranian brethren;

 

 

hehe :D

Edited February 15, 2014 by HamzaTR

[a human]

(Bismillah)

In tafsir al amthal by Sh. Shirazi it says the women can but should avoid it as it is more likely that the women will get hurt.