One Liners

[hasanhh 9,785]

(salam)

OK folks, let's rad some good, short, preferably one-liner jokes or comments. Humor is our objective:

To begin:

The U.S.  gov't use to launch men to the Moon. Now, the gov't cannot launch a health-care website.

[:Sami II 1,915]

"never say never "

[Raven 765]

"Surrender? SURRENDER? You think this letter on my head stands for France?"-Captain America

"Oh no, this is earth isn't it?" - Thor 

[Mlle. Advice 362]

[:Sami II 1,915]

meanwhile back in :Kufa ......

[hasanhh 9,785]

"That's no lady, that's my wife"

[hasanhh 9,785]

Support Global Warming:

You will Save on your Heating Bills

[Martyrdom 2,124]

Thor: He's my brother
Natasha Romanoff: He killed 80 people in 2 days
Thor: ...He's adopted

[Sumerian 6,336]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[hasanhh 9,785]

Sayed Murtadah Ahmed asked, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Suggested Answer: To get away from Colonel Sanders

Colonel Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken

Of course, you can also say, "To escape Tyson Foods."

[The Green Knight 8,163]

Batman: Let her go!
Joker: [holding Rachel out of a window] Very poor choice of words…

[notme 20,477]

^The Joker is one of my favorite villains.

[hasanhh 9,785]

Julie Newmarr as CatWoman was good. So was Ertha Kitt.

""Who was that masked man?""

[chai_cup 5]

i dont waste too many words, the hand does the talk :)

[hasanhh 9,785]

Chai-cup: explain to me hand with talk, or as I first heard it "talk to the hand". I do not understand it.

[.InshAllah. 1,551]

''When I get a little money I buy books.  If any is left over I buy food and clothes''.

[.equilibrium. 108]

Batman: Let her go!

Joker: [holding Rachel out of a window] Very poor choice of words…

The line just before this one;

Joker to Rachel: A little fighter you, I like that.

Batman: Then you're gonna love me! *boom*

[:Sami II 1,915]

did you say Pakistani ?

[hasanhh 9,785]

:Sami2...

No, Ameristani.

[Hasan0404 2,031]

‘I am going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.’ from The Godfather.

[Brained 1,935]

"The truth is....I'm Iron Man" - Tony Stark.

[Hasan0404 2,031]

Alice: How long is forever?

White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second.

[Syed.Dynasty 141]

"Sleep is for broke people" - 50 Cent

[notme 20,477]

If only there were an "Easy" button... - 3W

[Marbles 16,105]

Did you say :Sami II?

[hasanhh 9,785]

My doctor's mother passed away.

She had a cold, then had a heart attack after she saw his bill.

[hasanhh 9,785]

Little Boy: My mommy sent me back here to tell you we found a fly in our raisin bread.!

Baker: Well, bring me the fly and I'll give you a raisin.

[Mlle. Advice 362]

"The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

[Martyrdom 2,124]

" Damn Women because of you, I have lost a perfectly good used car, A not so-good- job. If you don't go get this kid right now, I'm gonna have you arrested for stupidity." 

[hasanhh 9,785]

Skeletons always travel alone because they have no body to go with.

[hasanhh 9,785]

Save the Snowman

Stop Global Warming

Dang, if ain't cold out.  :squeez:

[hasanhh 9,785]

Why do birds fly South? Because it is too far to walk. 

[Mahdi_theguideforall 206]

Id count my blessings but I suck at math..

[hasanhh 9,785]

That's arithmetic, not "math".

Orwellian Arithmetic...er, Stasi Arithmetic: 2 + 2 = 5.

[hasanhh 9,785]

.     February 1st thru February 6th

.                             is

National Cold Weather Awareness Week

.