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In the Name of God بسم الله

Why Are Many Of The Bros Here Not Married Yet ?

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ofcourse I have materialistic wives bro , in their 80s it's probably their last chance to enjoy this :Dunya and spend all my money .

dear bro , you do not know a thing about handbags , there are handbags and their are handbags.

they have handbags that cost more than the US debt , why do think the economy is in shambles.

which commodity do you think influences the AORD , DOW and FTSE 100 the most ?

not fast cars .

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(bismillah)   (salam)   To my dear brothers on SC , it pains me to find out that most of you are not married (permanently). Why the delay ? I personally can never imagine being without wives .They are

As far as I'm aware, majority of mothers have paradise under their feet according to the prophet.. 

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I think a lot of brothers and sisters need to lose a lot of weight.

 

Obesity is a big problem...lets face it...who wants to marry a fat girl/guy?

 

 

Also poor nutrition and eating habits and zero to little gym time.

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do you want the account :Sami II which is not living answer your question ?

and if he did , how can a non-living entity get married in the first place ?

If you are asking the living man that has created the account to answer such a question, than you must address me by my name , and as a living man , I can answer such a question as this gives power and honour especially when the :Huq of :Al-Hussein (as) is mentioned and in his presence .

Therefore I cannot stand as a cyber algorithm before the the greatest :Huq , as I am not the truth.

I do not exist in the account form or as a Human , when such a name is mentioned.

This name :Hussien (as) , makes me weep and shake.

I forget all that is in my mind .

All i can remember is his blood that was spilled.

and his sacrifice is the only :Haq , and i am insignificant.

I do not exist , I am no body .

When such a name is mentioned .

Aha! you're prevaricating that means you was fooling us the whole time. You don't have 4 wives, if u did u would answer straight up: yes.

 

Nice role play uncle Samii !

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Aha! you're prevaricating that means you was fooling us the whole time. You don't have 4 wives, if u did u would answer straight up: yes.

 

Nice role play uncle Samii !

since you asked me dear nephew , yes I have 4 wives .

ofcourse I have materialistic wives bro , in their 80s it's probably their last chance to enjoy this :Dunya and spend all my money .

dear bro , you do not know a thing about handbags , there are handbags and their are handbags.

they have handbags that cost more than the US debt , why do think the economy is in shambles.

which commodity do you think influences the AORD , DOW and FTSE 100 the most ?

not fast cars .

Your wives are in their eighties..seriously? -_- and their mothers are still alive and fit?? Great story!!

Edited by :Sami II
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The answer is simple: single people have the time for ShiaChat. Most people who are married with kids do not ;)

 

But seriously, the site's demographic consists mostly of males between the ages of 18 and 24. Getting married at that age is not easy for guys.

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The answer is simple: single people have the time for ShiaChat. Most people who are married with kids do not ;)

 

But seriously, the site's demographic consists mostly of males between the ages of 18 and 24. Getting married at that age is not easy for guys.

why not dear bro ?

I got married at that age , and now i have all the time for SC .

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Lets face it. We all want all the sorry, poor and hapless younglings of now to get married asap and join us in our suffering. We don't care if it will be the right decision for them. We know one can go to hell any way and even marriage doesn't really guarantee anything. But this will give us married folk a strange sense of assuage, isn't it? :p

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why not dear bro ?

I got married at that age , and now i have all the time for SC .

 

Back in your day, it was easier to get married right out of higschool or university. And if you really have 4 wives and you spend your days on SC, you must be retired.

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Back in your day, it was easier to get married right out of higschool or university. And if you really have 4 wives and you spend your days on SC, you must be retired.

semi-retired bro , but someone forgot to tell the wives that .

why is it harder now ?

back in my days we did not have SC to discover the possibilities of marriage.

We didn't have a crazy old bro , advising on the possibilities back then .

we just did it and prayed for the best.

perhaps the youngins should just do it .

Why Are Many Of The Bros Here Not Married Yet ?

 

Seems pretty obvious... money,

career and ability to provide for a wife and family...

do you think that's a valid excuse ?

especially these day when more billionaires are created and more private jets being sold .

peace and blessings 

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Something Ive noticed about young Muslim men from a certain country (I wont mention here). Money and economic basis are nothing but mere excuses for these men.

 

In my opinion I think the REAL reason young Muslim men are not married yet is because of idleness. Now, I mean this in a different way, from what you would expect. Not idleness like no brains, or dropping out of high school, or not working. But some things even worse.

 

Idleness in haraam things:

 

drugs, smoking (all things), drinking,

wild parties, watching haram videos

staying up late with friends

catcalling young Muslim girls on the street

harassing young women

"meeting up" with girls of all ages and religions

hanging with gangsters until the alley cats can be heard all night long,

straying in the streets 24/7 with their "buddies",

playing pranks on ppl of all types & disabilities

too busy getting noticed by women, (just cuz he got gel in his hair)

too busy playing/fooling around with girls' hearts, emotions, & feelings

NO RESPONSIBILITIES,

no maturity,

 

& most importantly is something that all men do not want to sacrifice in return for a wife and kids: FREEDOM !!!

 

 

(wasalam)

i wished i had hair to put gel on so my wives will notice me .

Edited by starlight
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OP: Originally I didn't want to answer this because I feared I'll be stigmatized by all the sisters on SC... but I finally brought myself to answer this:

 

My Reason of Delaying: I do not want to be oppressed by women.

 

I'll Marry Only IF: I find a woman who will become my one and only permanent wife, but would also let me happily do 'timed marriages' as many and as often I would want, without creating any fuss and objections, and without disrupting ours and our kids' life.

 

My Rationale (hear me out please): I'm an extrovert person. I've literally hundreds of friends. Many of them are married. The single biggest reason of depression, anxiety, bad marriage life, being detached with family, committing zana in some cases, among MEN is because their wives DO NOT make themselves available sexually as often as they want. Now I don't know if its the lack of libido in women, if its the multi-tasking like they do by raising kids, by taking care of the house, by dropping and picking kids from school, cooking and all that.. which makes them so tired that it does not physically and logistically leave any room for them to make their husbands happy.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm sympathizing with women because modern lifestyle has made them extremely tied up in all chores that their 18 hours of their day is consumed in it. SO I"M NOT ACCUSING WOMEN. But at the same time, one of the most critical needs of man takes the backseat in this lifestyle. I know men can not function correctly without a recurring and frequent dose of sex. Hence I see so many grumpy friends talking about it in bits and pieces.... and I don't want to be one of them. Bottom line, solution of man grumpiness lies in the mentality of women, yes its physically impossible to make themselves unavailable but at least they can allow their husbands to seek other halal alternatives as long as they don't commit themselves somewhere else permanently. 

 

Now all the young sisters on this forum can get on me, accusing me of all types of conjectures, but those sisters who are already married know what I'm saying... and those who are not married yet can look at their moms and married female siblings to find out if they truly think they would be making themselves available for every other day or every day love making.

 

Khalas... Objections welcome.

Peace!!

Edited by Waiting for HIM
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^^^^  Soo in summary:

 

So basically you want to have a domestic worker wife to bear and raise your children and clean your house, your clothes etc, make you meals, wearing herself out - working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, so that you can be an absentee elderly adolescent out having fun elsewhere with no attachment or responsibility.  And if she doesn’t agree to her part in your lifestyle, she is oppressive….

 

What more could a woman ask for??

Nice fairytale, I can tell you live on a different planet. Mashallah!

 

 

 

 

Great, then you'll never get married!

 

 

 

Wow, lucky you! I didn't know your friends are Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, & Bashful. You must be so proud.

I don't think you gave enough time to ponder on what I said.. You all as usual jumped the guns and are started sharing your emotionally charged opinions. Please try to stand in a man's shoes before accusing and slandering.

... And who said men should not work hard to bring food on the table, pay the mortgage, do the car payments, afford the family travels, help out in dishes, help out in cooking, and be able to afford all those expensive international phone calls to all extended family in-laws, and still have enough left to go for yearly family visits and an occasional trip to hajj and Ziaraaat.

My post was not about showing the hard work of only one partner in marriage. But for once would you please sit down, observe your mom and dad and find out what is (might be) broken. For once! Just this once!

Edited by starlight
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I don't think you gave enough time to ponder on what I said.. You all as usual jumped the guns and are started sharing your emotionally charged opinions. Please try to stand in a man's shoes before accusing and slandering.

... And who said men should not work hard to bring food on the table, pay the mortgage, do the car payments, afford the family travels, help out in dishes, help out in cooking, and be able to afford all those expensive international phone calls to all extended family in-laws, and still have enough left to go for yearly family visits and an occasional trip to hajj and Ziaraaat.

My post was not about showing the hard work of only one partner in marriage. But for once would you please sit down, observe your mom and dad and find out what is (might be) broken. For once! Just this once!

 

My mom and dad are doing very well for two oldsters....  And they have def had some real challenges in life from many angles and many depths.  They work together and love each other and whatever gaps they may have from time to time - they would not outsource to repair an internal hurt or need. They have a life bond and commitment and would not do reckless things to damage it. In the end, they only have each other as best friends and confidantes. And I am an observant satellite to that.  However, I am wondering what you are an observant satellite to as you have some very simplistic ideas on how to be satisfied and happy in life.

 

Casual sex fixes nothing that is broken in your marital relationship - and if you thinks so you will be looking for the next 5 minute relief after your  last 5 minute relief and then after your next 5 minute relief - it will be an unending quest.  You will never feel fulfilled or complete as these are distractions - you will just feel a little bit emptier each time.  And then when you go back to what did have substance and meaning in your life (your marriage and family) - you will find that they have emotionally moved on as to them you are no longer their protector and their rock.  You can buy them as many material things as you can afford - but you cannot buy back lost trust, love and affection. That comes from being with someone through the good times and bad, the rough and the smooth, etc - that is how you forge an in-destructive unconditional permanent bond. Priceless.

Edited by Maryaam
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OP: Originally I didn't want to answer this because I feared I'll be stigmatized by all the sisters on SC... but I finally brought myself to answer this:

 

My Reason of Delaying: I do not want to be oppressed by women.

 

I'll Marry Only IF: I find a woman who will become my one and only permanent wife, but would also let me happily do 'timed marriages' as many and as often I would want, without creating any fuss and objections, and without disrupting ours and our kids' life.

 

My Rationale (hear me out please): I'm an extrovert person. I've literally hundreds of friends. Many of them are married. The single biggest reason of depression, anxiety, bad marriage life, being detached with family, committing zana in some cases, among MEN is because their wives DO NOT make themselves available sexually as often as they want. Now I don't know if its the lack of libido in women, if its the multi-tasking like they do by raising kids, by taking care of the house, by dropping and picking kids from school, cooking and all that.. which makes them so tired that it does not physically and logistically leave any room for them to make their husbands happy.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm sympathizing with women because modern lifestyle has made them extremely tied up in all chores that their 18 hours of their day is consumed in it. SO I"M NOT ACCUSING WOMEN. But at the same time, one of the most critical needs of man takes the backseat in this lifestyle. I know men can not function correctly without a recurring and frequent dose of sex. Hence I see so many grumpy friends talking about it in bits and pieces.... and I don't want to be one of them. Bottom line, solution of man grumpiness lies in the mentality of women, yes its physically impossible to make themselves unavailable but at least they can allow their husbands to seek other halal alternatives as long as they don't commit themselves somewhere else permanently. 

 

Now all the young sisters on this forum can get on me, accusing me of all types of conjectures, but those sisters who are already married know what I'm saying... and those who are not married yet can look at their moms and married female siblings to find out if they truly think they would be making themselves available for every other day or every day love making.

 

Khalas... Objections welcome.

Peace!!

Muslim marriages have a 1in 3 divorce rate while the US average is like 1 in 7.

Musilm sisters sometimes get married expecting a fairytale and not responsibilities. They dont realize they have to work, take care of the kids, the house, and take care of that right their husband has over them every time he asks. Plus we live in a society that promotes immaturity to a late age so some women are get married too immature to handle all these things, but what can they do? Their bodies mature faster than their minds and they cant stop that and most are in lala land and dont realize they need to be more mature, or think they are mature when they are not. Admittedly, I do think i could work on my maturity and patience and its really hard sometimes... :donno: Especially with parents :S

 

I know brothers have their own faults and incorrect expectations but im not a brother nor know many married ones besides a few of my cousins so i cant speak for bros as much.

 

May you find a good wife soon bro inshallah.

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Something Ive noticed about young Muslim men from a certain country (I wont mention here). Money and economic basis are nothing but mere excuses for these men.

 

In my opinion I think the REAL reason young Muslim men are not married yet is because of idleness. Now, I mean this in a different way, from what you would expect. Not idleness like no brains, or dropping out of high school, or not working. But some things even worse.

 

Idleness in haraam things:

 

drugs, smoking (all things), drinking,

wild parties, watching haram videos

staying up late with friends

catcalling young Muslim girls on the street

harassing young women

"meeting up" with girls of all ages and religions

hanging with gangsters until the alley cats can be heard all night long,

straying in the streets 24/7 with their "buddies",

playing pranks on ppl of all types & disabilities

too busy getting noticed by women, (just cuz he got gel in his hair)

too busy playing/fooling around with girls' hearts, emotions, & feelings

NO RESPONSIBILITIES,

no maturity,

 

& most importantly is something that all men do not want to sacrifice in return for a wife and kids: FREEDOM !!!

 

 

(wasalam)

 

If people on here were involved in all those things you have listed, they would have been married(or at least engaged) long ago. I don't encourage people to do what you have listed. But people who do that have it easier nowadays than those who don't- Just look around yourself.

Edited by starlight
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OP: Originally I didn't want to answer this because I feared I'll be stigmatized by all the sisters on SC... but I finally brought myself to answer this:

 

My Reason of Delaying: I do not want to be oppressed by women.

 

I'll Marry Only IF: I find a woman who will become my one and only permanent wife, but would also let me happily do 'timed marriages' as many and as often I would want, without creating any fuss and objections, and without disrupting ours and our kids' life.

 

My Rationale (hear me out please): I'm an extrovert person. I've literally hundreds of friends. Many of them are married. The single biggest reason of depression, anxiety, bad marriage life, being detached with family, committing zana in some cases, among MEN is because their wives DO NOT make themselves available sexually as often as they want. Now I don't know if its the lack of libido in women, if its the multi-tasking like they do by raising kids, by taking care of the house, by dropping and picking kids from school, cooking and all that.. which makes them so tired that it does not physically and logistically leave any room for them to make their husbands happy.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'm sympathizing with women because modern lifestyle has made them extremely tied up in all chores that their 18 hours of their day is consumed in it. SO I"M NOT ACCUSING WOMEN. But at the same time, one of the most critical needs of man takes the backseat in this lifestyle. I know men can not function correctly without a recurring and frequent dose of sex. Hence I see so many grumpy friends talking about it in bits and pieces.... and I don't want to be one of them. Bottom line, solution of man grumpiness lies in the mentality of women, yes its physically impossible to make themselves unavailable but at least they can allow their husbands to seek other halal alternatives as long as they don't commit themselves somewhere else permanently. 

 

Now all the young sisters on this forum can get on me, accusing me of all types of conjectures, but those sisters who are already married know what I'm saying... and those who are not married yet can look at their moms and married female siblings to find out if they truly think they would be making themselves available for every other day or every day love making.

 

Khalas... Objections welcome.

Peace!!

my dear bro , I have been waiting for your response here since you're the most eligible bachelor of SC I believe.

Very interesting answer I may say.

let me offer my input if I may .

 

women oppressing men , it is their job and is built into to their nature to do such things,

they do this to control us and to have their way , even through their submission and sex.

it is like this from beginning and will be like this till the end .

this world is runned by women , not men , as I have said many times before , I meet the most powerful men in the world , and in the shadows , now it is becoming openly their women control them.

the reason the world is in the state of annihilation is because of women .

All our :imams (as) and :Rasools (as) were killed because of the evil of women.

this is a fact .so you are right .

But you are a man , and most men have no idea how to control this entity called women.

that's why we have what we have.

take me for example , I have an IQ that will exceed most people , my thinking is very unique , my spirituality is advance and my economic situation is better than average , I can perform well for my wives even in my 50s , and I still have a hard time controlling my wives.

It's a 24/7 job .

than there's the kids , the grandkids .

it is insanity at times.

I have blocked all outside negative influences and still we have challenges.

as for sex , even with 4 wives i cannot get enough.

i have maids to do housework and domestic help for the kids .

we travel much and enjoy a great life .

and still I run to SC to escape from the madness in my houses .

i wonder many times why i did why i did ,

and why am i still doing what I'm doing.

And when I lay my forehead on the :Turbah , I say :Ya-Allah , I thank thee for your blessings and your tests, all your bounties , your gifts .

I am grateful oh Lord of the worlds , for giving me my beloved :Ahylul-Bayt (as) .

I am proud to be chosen as a :Shia , I will my Lord populate this earth with kids , that will be the servants of your representative on this earth .

They will lay their lives for him and will make him please,

Because he is the one chosen by you.

And when  I say this , everything becomes worthwhile , and I am at peace.

I go back to my wives , and thank them for putting up with me.

I kiss my babies , because one day my :Imam (as) will be kissing them also :Inshallah.

The point I'm trying to make here bro , there is no perfect answer or solution in marriage , however you calculate it .

But if it's done for the sake of :Allah swt and you produce kids , grandkids or their kids that ends up as a cook for the 313 , I may say to you is a job well done .

 

ws

Edited by :Sami II
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I think we can safely conclude and we should all accept that the once sacred covenant of marriage has now been distorted beyond all recognition. How and why? Well, take a look at the "Sunni/Wahabi "Islam"" -- the purest of the pure version, reinvented 50 years ago and the latest build includes improvements to the suicide bombing system as well as Shia mass killing enters beta testing stage. Certainly not what the Prophet practiced or what God intended but thats how the majority of us humans are. Now if the entire "deen" can be hijacked like that it shouldn't surprise anyone if marriage can be as well.

 

Similarly, many of us need to accept that the meticulous and arduous indoctrinations of all sorts over time have left marriage as a big inconvenience at best. It is simply incompatible for most people and by the next generation very few will dare get married. Marriage has been trumped in so many ways. Divorces are on a record high. In the city of Lahore (Pakistan), 70% marriages ended in a divorce in the year 2012. Thats the official figure.

 

Why I'm posting this? Because acceptance of any problem is the first step towards correcting it and the second one is diagnosis. :Sami, if he's serious, and perhaps others are like the confused laymen who will keep trying to start the engine, expend the battery and never take a look under the hood.

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I think we can safely conclude and we should all accept that the once sacred covenant of marriage has now been distorted beyond all recognition. How and why? Well, take a look at the "Sunni/Wahabi "Islam"" -- the purest of the pure version, reinvented 50 years ago and the latest build includes improvements to the suicide bombing system as well as Shia mass killing enters beta testing stage. Certainly not what the Prophet practiced or what God intended but thats how the majority of us humans are. Now if the entire "deen" can be hijacked like that it shouldn't surprise anyone if marriage can be as well.

Similarly, many of us need to accept that the meticulous and arduous indoctrinations of all sorts over time have left marriage as a big inconvenience at best. It is simply incompatible for most people and by the next generation very few will dare get married. Marriage has been trumped in so many ways. Divorces are on a record high. In the city of Lahore (Pakistan), 70% marriages ended in a divorce in the year 2012. Thats the official figure.

Why I'm posting this? Because acceptance of any problem is the first step towards correcting it and the second one is diagnosis. :Sami, if he's serious, and perhaps others are like the confused laymen who will keep trying to start the engine, expend the battery and never take a look under the hood.

Br. Samii: THANK YOU for nominating me the 'most eligible bachelor on SC'. With my most recent post, I can safely say that I've relegated myself to 'the least eligible bachelor on SC'... Which could very well prove to be a blessing in another way!

Br. Darth Vader:

- Could you please rephrase in laymen terms, what is really broken under the hood?

- Lahore: well the zana capital of Pakistan (with all apologies to good Lahoris, but that's the perception out there, the BIG K WORD used for Lahori culture), this is not surprising that 70% of the dames would be sent home the first month because no matter how big a fornicater a man is, he wants his wife served purest and freshest from the oven.

- Your writing style is so much like Ayaz Amir, do you read him a lot or are you Ayaz Amir yourself? :)

Edited by Waiting for HIM
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i wonder many times why i did why i did ,

and why am i still doing what I'm doing.

And when I lay my forehead on the :Turbah , I say :Ya-Allah , I thank thee for your blessings and your tests, all your bounties , your gifts .

I am grateful oh Lord of the worlds , for giving me my beloved :Ahylul-Bayt (as) .

I am proud to be chosen as a :Shia , I will my Lord populate this earth with kids , that will be the servants of your representative on this earth .

They will lay their lives for him and will make him please,

Because he is the one chosen by you.

And when  I say this , everything becomes worthwhile , and I am at peace.

I go back to my wives , and thank them for putting up with me.

I kiss my babies , because one day my :Imam (as) will be kissing them also :Inshallah.

The point I'm trying to make here bro , there is no perfect answer or solution in marriage , however you calculate it .

But if it's done for the sake of :Allah swt and you produce kids , grandkids or their kids that ends up as a cook for the 313 , I may say to you is a job well done .

 

ws

:cry: Good reminder brother.

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Br. Samii: THANK YOU for nominating me the 'most eligible bachelor on SC'. With my most recent post, I can safely say that I've relegated myself to 'the least eligible bachelor on SC'... Which could very well prove to be a blessing in another way!

Br. Darth Vader:

- Could you please rephrase in laymen terms, what is really broken under the hood?

- Lahore: well the zana capital of Pakistan (with all apologies to good Lahoris, but that's the perception out there, the BIG K WORD used for Lahori culture), this is not surprising that 70% of the dames would be sent home the first month because no matter how big a fornicater a man is, he wants his wife served purest and freshest from the oven.

- Your writing style is so much like Ayaz Amir, do you read him a lot or are you Ayaz Amir yourself? :)

don't let the sis on SC deter you , they are really not that bad , actually they are quite good .

they try to be tough and all and pro feminist types , but deep down inside they know 

and we all have a common thread that bind us , the glorious :Ahylul-Bayt (as) .

though i would never marry a born :Shia or :Muslim myself.

But I'm not normal and they should not be subjected to cruelty.

But you dear bro , and many young bros here , are perfect :Shia role models.

you should marry soon and put up with what comes , and have little WFH's , so you and your kids can wait for him together.

since we have no idea of the date he will reappear , it's best to have kids , incase you die , and they can keep the light on .

may you be amongst his 313 :Inshallah.

ws

Edited by :Sami II
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