Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
stargirl

A Guy At My Local Chippy Shop Gave Me Free Chips?

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

and Livia is trying to become 'Advanced Member' by posting counts of replies on this thread instead of adding anything substantial :P

Oh come on, sister! I always add productive comments! Why are you getting mad at something so humorous?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually the veil as a symbol of status was already entrenched in Persian and Assyrian societies long before Islam existed;

But Islam upheld that cultural practice by its law, no? Slave women weren't allowed to cover their hair due to the religious law.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I'm a Levantine Arab

 

"Chippy" simply mean a "Fish and Chips shop"

I actually forgot all about this post, Lol. Well, the reason why I asked you is cuz its one thing with Turk men is that they think Arabic girls (especially hijabis) are naive, soft & gullible. That's how they see us and they tend to make moves on us like that believing we're gonna "melt in their arms" and all that stupid stuff. They think Arab girls would "die" for modern Turk men cuz we are "supposed" to be "oppressed" by our own men. Its a way to get what they want.

Edited by Mlle. Advice

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually forgot all about this post, Lol. Well, the reason why I asked you is cuz its one thing with Turk men is that they think Arabic girls (especially hijabis) are naive, soft & gullible. That's how they see us and they tend to make moves on us like that believing we're gonna "melt in their arms" and all that stupid stuff. They think Arab girls would "die" for modern Turk men cuz we are "supposed" to be "oppressed" by our own men. Its a way to get what they want.

 

Well he is no Muhannad so no I would not "melt in his arms" looool he's not even remotely good looking and the way he approached me is a complete turn off.

 

Anyways I'm done with the chippy shop and I'm not looking back, it's a shame he lost a customer, I'm not gna deny their food was munchalicious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually forgot all about this post, Lol. Well, the reason why I asked you is cuz its one thing with Turk men is that they think Arabic girls (especially hijabis) are naive, soft & gullible. That's how they see us and they tend to make moves on us like that believing we're gonna "melt in their arms" and all that stupid stuff. They think Arab girls would "die" for modern Turk men cuz we are "supposed" to be "oppressed" by our own men. Its a way to get what they want.

Gross generalisation.

he's not even remotely good looking

So let's get this straight. If someone who is handsome and isn't Turkish, or of any other ethnic background that kicks in a deep seated prejudice, does the same thing as the ugly Turkish man at the chippy, you'd be OK with that? You'd accept the free chips without feeling "humiliated?"

Edited by starlight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gross generalisation.

So let's get this straight. If someone who is handsome and isn't Turkish, or of any other ethnic background that kicks in a deep seated prejudice, does the same thing as the ugly Turkish man at the chippy, you'd be OK with that? You'd accept the free chips without feeling "humiliated?"

 

No not at all, I'm just saying he's not my cup of tea. However, it doesn't mean if he was handsome the outcome would have been different. For example, I will tell you 2 years ago I went to pizza hut for my friend's bday and there was this waiter who I saw who was prolly the best looking guy I've ever seen in my life, literally I'm not kidding his looks turned heads wherever he went, even though mashAllah he is blessed with good looks, I got over it in 1 sec because I don't know him and I know this wouldn't go anywhere, but when I was at the salad bar, he approached me and introduced himself, he told me he was a 25 year old half Afghan and half something else I forgot, then striked a 2min convo and I was shocked at how he even noticed me but I felt intimidated. I rushed back to my seat and at the end he passed on a note with his contact details to another waiter to give it to me, but I rejected it totally and I told him I don't speak to boys. I didn't want to have a haram relationship. My freinds found out what was going on and made a big deal about it by going up to the Afghan guy and embarassing him infront of everyone at pizza hut, the whole experience made me cringe. So to answer your question, if a handsome or a butters guy gave me free chips then I should just reject it and leave, I stick with my morals.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No not at all, I'm just saying he's not my cup of tea. However, it doesn't mean if he was handsome the outcome would have been different. For example, I will tell you 2 years ago I went to pizza hut for my friend's bday and there was this waiter who I saw who was prolly the best looking guy I've ever seen in my life, literally I'm not kidding his looks turned heads wherever he went, even though mashAllah he is blessed with good looks, I got over it in 1 sec because I don't know him and I know this wouldn't go anywhere, but when I was at the salad bar, he approached me and introduced himself, he told me he was a 25 year old half Afghan and half something else I forgot, then striked a 2min convo and I was shocked at how he even noticed me but I felt intimidated. I rushed back to my seat and at the end he passed on a note with his contact details to another waiter to give it to me, but I rejected it totally and I told him I don't speak to boys. I didn't want to have a haram relationship. My freinds found out what was going on and made a big deal about it by going up to the Afghan guy and embarassing him infront of everyone at pizza hut, the whole experience made me cringe. So to answer your question, if a handsome or a butters guy gave me free chips then I should just reject it and leave, I stick with my morals.

Since you are so noticeable, you ought to consider marrying really fast sister, good for the law and order in your area :p

Edited by Waiting for HIM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No not at all, I'm just saying he's not my cup of tea. However, it doesn't mean if he was handsome the outcome would have been different. For example, I will tell you 2 years ago I went to pizza hut for my friend's bday and there was this waiter who I saw who was prolly the best looking guy I've ever seen in my life, literally I'm not kidding his looks turned heads wherever he went, even though mashAllah he is blessed with good looks, I got over it in 1 sec because I don't know him and I know this wouldn't go anywhere, but when I was at the salad bar, he approached me and introduced himself, he told me he was a 25 year old half Afghan and half something else I forgot, then striked a 2min convo and I was shocked at how he even noticed me but I felt intimidated. I rushed back to my seat and at the end he passed on a note with his contact details to another waiter to give it to me, but I rejected it totally and I told him I don't speak to boys. I didn't want to have a haram relationship. My freinds found out what was going on and made a big deal about it by going up to the Afghan guy and embarassing him infront of everyone at pizza hut, the whole experience made me cringe. So to answer your question, if a handsome or a butters guy gave me free chips then I should just reject it and leave, I stick with my morals.

 

Is it just me or others too cringed reading this unnecessary and unneeded recounting of yet another encounter?

 

Really, you did not need to explain yourself in this fashion, goodness me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since you are so noticeable, you ought to consider marrying really fast sister, good for the law and order in your area :P

 

Inshallah bro.

 

Is it just me or others too cringed reading this unnecessary and unneeded recounting of yet another encounter?

 

Really, you did not need to explain yourself in this fashion, goodness me.

 

You didn't have to read it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it just me or others too cringed reading this unnecessary and unneeded recounting of yet another encounter?

Really, you did not need to explain yourself in this fashion, goodness me.

It's not uncommon for average+ looking girls to have many such encounters before and even after marriage. Why does it sound so strange to you?

One thing OP, too many approaches by men could corrupt a girl in many ways, if nothing else, it gives them this sense that they are more prettier than others which turns into arrogance and is extremely harmful for their marriage and family lives.

Talk to your parents and get married inshaAllah.

Edited by Waiting for HIM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not uncommon for average+ looking girls to have many such encounters before and even after marriage. Why does it sound so strange to you?

 

 

This is obvious, so yeah.

 

What is strange is that the girl fell for a rhetorical spiky question that implied that if she 'liked' a (good looking) guy she'd go ahead and accept chips and whatnot without any qualms. Her reply with the story of a Pizza Hut waiter actually unnecessarily put her on the defensive and lowered her own dignity. Hence I said it was unnecessary, unneeded and cringe-worthy.

 

 

You didn't have to read it.

 

I said that for your own benefit so you may better learn to respond to nosy guys. Up to you if you want to regale one and all with tales from your repertoire of endless experience that do nothing more than put smirks on guys' faces.

Edited by Rashida

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's not uncommon for average+ looking girls to have many such encounters before and even after marriage. Why does it sound so strange to you?

One thing OP, too many approaches by men could corrupt a girl in many ways, if nothing else, it gives them this sense that they are more prettier than others which turns into arrogance and is extremely harmful for their marriage and family lives.

Talk to your parents and get married inshaAllah.

 

You're right but these days when I get approached, I just ignore them and carry on with my day, it's something that we have learnt to get used to. Pervs will perv on anything, so she doesn't even have to be a real looker to get the attention.

 

 

This is obvious, so yeah.

 

What is strange is that the girl fell for a rhetorical spiky question that implied that if she 'liked' a (good looking) guy she'd go ahead and accept chips and whatnot without any qualms. Her reply with the story of a Pizza Hut waiter actually unnecessarily put her on the defensive and lowered her own dignity. Hence I said it was unnecessary, unneeded and cringe-worthy.

 

 

 

I said that for your own benefit so you may better learn to respond to nosy guys. Up to you if you want to regale one and all with tales from your repertoire of endless experience that do nothing more than put smirks on guys' faces.

 

There is nothing wrong with what I said, I just responded to him with a real life experience to prove my point that I don't reciprocate even if the guy appears to be a handsome bloke, you're just overreacting.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No not at all, I'm just saying he's not my cup of tea. However, it doesn't mean if he was handsome the outcome would have been different. For example, I will tell you 2 years ago I went to pizza hut for my friend's bday and there was this waiter who I saw who was prolly the best looking guy I've ever seen in my life, literally I'm not kidding his looks turned heads wherever he went, even though mashAllah he is blessed with good looks, I got over it in 1 sec because I don't know him and I know this wouldn't go anywhere, but when I was at the salad bar, he approached me and introduced himself, he told me he was a 25 year old half Afghan and half something else I forgot, then striked a 2min convo and I was shocked at how he even noticed me but I felt intimidated. I rushed back to my seat and at the end he passed on a note with his contact details to another waiter to give it to me, but I rejected it totally and I told him I don't speak to boys. I didn't want to have a haram relationship. My freinds found out what was going on and made a big deal about it by going up to the Afghan guy and embarassing him infront of everyone at pizza hut, the whole experience made me cringe. So to answer your question, if a handsome or a butters guy gave me free chips then I should just reject it and leave, I stick with my morals.

You felt intimidated because of your warped worldview, hand in hand with your lack of confidence. So I don't know why you have to use a guys' looks to demonise them further if it is irrelevant to your actual problem. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You felt intimidated because of your warped worldview, hand in hand with your lack of confidence. So I don't know why you have to use a guys' looks to demonise them further if it is irrelevant to your actual problem. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

No I felt intimidated because I was young back then and he was too direct and overconfident, but atleast I didn't lack the confidence to reject his contact details since that was my first ever encounter I've had and so it's natural for a girl who observes haya and has never been approached before to feel the way she did, he wouldn't have a problem getting on with girls anyway because of his extreme good looks.

I didn't demonise him, I just told you he was handsome because you seemed to have this notion that I would act differently if the guy at the chip shop wasn't ugly and now you're just playing dumb, you ask me a question what I would do if the guy is handsome and then responded with a load of tosh that looks is " irrelevant to the actual problem" "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" blah blah blah as usual and accuse me of demonising him, when the fact is appearance has always been the least of my concerns.

If I want to get to know a guy, I would get to know him with the intention of marrying him and do it the proper way, if that isn't the case then I woudn't lead him on and then let him down, sorry but I'm just being true to myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on some level that chippy boy once (to a girl).

 

So, I think  my input has great value here, difference is I really got to know the woman, an example being we had lunch/dinner together (granted there was supervision, keeping it halal). Any who, here is a good one:

/start story:

She literally played me like a flute, got bored, and threw me aside.

/end story.

 

My advise:

 

Next time, be straight up with him.  Tell him your not interested BUT TAKE THE CHIPS.  Odds are that he is not trying to "get in your pants" as some of the members are insinuating (assuming this guy is muslim?).

BTW, who ever said Iraqi men are the best/treat woman like princesses (I prefer Queens...); (Mile.Advice?)....that's riiiiiiigggghhhhhtttt  B)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on some level that chippy boy once (to a girl).

 

So, I think  my input has great value here, difference is I really got to know the woman, an example being we had lunch/dinner together (granted there was supervision, keeping it halal). Any who, here is a good one:

/start story:

She literally played me like a flute, got bored, and threw me aside.

/end story.

 

Wth she's a nasty piece of work. Sorry to hear that dude but you should just be more vigilant when you're getting to know someone in the future, some women are hard to read and they don't know what they really want.

 

My advise:

 

Next time, be straight up with him. Tell him your not interested

 

lol next time there will be no next time, they won't leave me alone so why should I bother going there knowing that I will recieve unwanted attention. My dad owns a shop 2min away from my college and there is a Lebanese restaurant next door to his so I'll just pop around in there instead, once in a while.

 

BUT TAKE THE CHIPS. Odds are that he is not trying to "get in your pants" as some of the members are insinuating

 

 

If I were to take the chips, then I will most definately pay for it and leave, I only accept free stuff from sisters and my mahrams. Otherwise I'll have to ask him to make chips for my friends aswell, it's only fair that way.

 

(assuming this guy is muslim?).

 

They are Muslims, otherwise why would they hit on a hijabi? Most Turks are Muslim anyway but they don't look religious to me, Allahu a3lam though.

 

BTW, who ever said Iraqi men are the best/treat woman like princesses (I prefer Queens...); (Mile.Advice?)....that's riiiiiiigggghhhhhtttt B)

 

Well that is a difference of opinion :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on some level that chippy boy once (to a girl).

 

So, I think  my input has great value here, difference is I really got to know the woman, an example being we had lunch/dinner together (granted there was supervision, keeping it halal). Any who, here is a good one:

/start story:

She literally played me like a flute, got bored, and threw me aside.

/end story.

Well..sorry to hear but its usually guys who tend to play girls like that like theyre instruments, and when the song is finished, they turn the page

 

 

 

BTW, who ever said Iraqi men are the best/treat woman like princesses (I prefer Queens...); (Mile.Advice?)....that's riiiiiiigggghhhhhtttt  B)

Spoken like a true Iraqi ;) .......Yup, yup! Now that u confirmed it, I'm gonna take ur word for it !  ....... :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I want to get to know a guy, I would get to know him with the intention of marrying him and do it the proper way, if that isn't the case then I woudn't lead him on and then let him down, sorry but I'm just being true to myself.

What is the "proper way" may I inquire? Because, the way I see it, there's no way in hell you'll approach a guy and there's no way you'll let a guy approach you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gross generalisation.

So let's get this straight. If someone who is handsome and isn't Turkish, or of any other ethnic background that kicks in a deep seated prejudice, does the same thing as the ugly Turkish man at the chippy, you'd be OK with that? You'd accept the free chips without feeling "humiliated?"

Gross generalisation ?....yeah this is coming from someone who looks down on Islam and is probably against it. If you dislike Islam so much, then why are you on a religious forum??

 

 

 

What is the "proper way" may I inquire? Because, the way I see it, there's no way in hell you'll approach a guy and there's no way you'll let a guy approach you.

So....why u wanna know her "proper way" huh ?? :shifty: ......And why u so mad out of ur skin about this??...... :rolleyes:

Edited by Mlle. Advice

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gross generalisation ?....yeah this is coming from someone who looks down on Islam and is probably against it. If you dislike Islam so much, then why are you on a religious forum??

I don't know how telling the truth about the true beliefs of Islam means I hate Islam. Maybe you hate it.

And I don't what that has got to do with your generalisation of Turkish men. And, no, I'm not Turkish.

 

So....why u wanna know her "proper way" huh ?? :shifty: ......And why u so mad out of ur skin about this??...... :rolleyes:

Because I treat these matters seriously. A discussion that foments hate against males, that crusades for subtle apartheid is not good. Someone has to challenge this awful mentality.

Edited by starlight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is the "proper way" may I inquire? Because, the way I see it, there's no way in hell you'll approach a guy and there's no way you'll let a guy approach you.

 

No dude, it's because the guys who I happen to bump into are creeps and I trust my instincts when I sense that they're giving off a bad vibe, they act like jerks and this is something you can't seem to comprehend. I have yet to come across a decent man who seems genuinly interested in me and wants to be in a serious relationship. If I come across such a person then I wouldn't shun him, he just needs to open up and talk to me with a sincere intention. If I am interested in him then we'll have a chat and he would need to tell me more about himself, if the feeling is mutual then great, I will tell him to give me his contact details. I may meet up with him in a public place to get to know more about him and eventually, I will inform my parents and if they are satisfied, then I'll contact him and invite him to my house for a cup of tea and introduce them to each other. My parents are pretty open minded about it all and that's the way I was advised to go about things, by letting my parents get involved from the beginning, I am 100% sure that he isn't some dodgy man that just wants to mess around, I know that I am being taken seriously and I appear more respectful that way. If things flow smoothly then we'll carry on seeing each other until we're ready to settle down and complete half our deen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 I don't speak to boys.

 

Greetings stargirl,

 

I'm just curious... if you don't ever speak to them then how are you to ever know if you might like to be married to them?

How do you learn if you have things in common that you can share for a lifetime?

You know life, is a long time... or do you not approach marriage this way... as a lifelong commitment?  and if you do not, how is that good for the raising of children?

 

Salaam,

CLynn

I was on some level that chippy boy once (to a girl).

 

Greetings kbsquare,

 

What could be a valuable contribution here is would you share please...

were you a 'chippy guy' with good intentions to this girl... just wanting to get to know her a little?  Did you in any way in your heart and mind have disrespect for her, or did you only admire her?

Is it possible for a girl to look upon these attentions as not necessarily, always a bad thing... that perhaps the guy is genuine and respectable in his intentions?

 

Shukran and salaam,

Clynn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Greetings stargirl,

 

I'm just curious... if you don't ever speak to them then how are you to ever know if you might like to be married to them?

How do you learn if you have things in common that you can share for a lifetime?

You know life, is a long time... or do you not approach marriage this way... as a lifelong commitment?  and if you do not, how is that good for the raising of children?

 

Salaam,

CLynn

 

Greetings brother, but I didn't mean it in the literal sense, what I meant was I don't speak to random boys, because that's not what pious girls do, I try to avoid any unnecessary chat that can lead to haram. However, if they speak to me with the intention of marriage and they don't flirt, then I don't have any problem speaking to them if I'm also interested.

 

Salaam.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...