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In the Name of God بسم الله

Internet Usage

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PenOfTruth

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salamualaikum warhmatulahh,

 

lately I have complained to and have been witnessing children going on wrong websites, social media etc. Internet access is available in every home basically now, but not all parents or older siblings take this issue into consideration. And I know the idea of 'children going astray because of the internet' is something that sounds not that affecting nor important. But I was one of those children once, and i only admit and or say this is so  I can assure you that it does severely destroy the child's mind and not everyone finds the right path. Maybe we cannot blame the destruction all on the internet, but its one of the major sources of sins.

 

the affects, are mainly sinful and psychological. The sinful side is the scariest, its the biggest source of music, sexual visuals, games that encourage sexual activity and relationships, sources to download music, watch music videos, the negative/sinful side of YouTube (youtubers may look innocent but they have an affect as well) and seriously people, ive seen facebook ruin lives, I don't know about where you live, but over here facebook really has ruined lives, (for example, I know a teenage girl who posted pictures of herself without the hijab, it got to her parents and whole community). In other words, yes all these don have an affect, and I don't know if its only here but its a  point worth doing something about.

 

Especially now, when all parents are thinking about is getting ipads, tablets and smartphones for their kids rather then thinking about their prayer. Lets face it, EVERYTHING is on the internet, and whats worse everything if filmed on put on youtube, or social media which is a perfect place for children to contact people they should not contact, see things they should not see and listen to things they should not listen to. fb pushing them to be like the girls that post their sinful pictures, or the half naked women in the music videos. Plus, technology is dangerous, I swear me I have to cover my webcam with a "you did it !"  sticker because I feel like someone's watching me.  

 

Reality is, as soon a child has access to the internet, they are not necessarily going to go on the Islamic sites like parents expect. Especially with the weird ads everywhere.

 

The programs for security are always available for downloads, the best one I tried was ESET. : http://www.eset.com/us/

 

physiological affects on the use of internet for children : http://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2003/12/jackson.aspx

 

take care of our children, wasalam.

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In this day and age, having parental control programs are absolutely essential in every household. 

 

It is very ignorant if we try to ignore the amount of destruction that the internet has caused to so many children, youth and even adults. And even more ignorant if we believe that our children won't go on the evil site of the net, and thus do nothing to protect them online. (some parents are not aware of this, others think that their children are "masoum" and there is no way Sheitan, whom Allah (SWT) promised to be our biggest enemey, would be able to deceive them into commiting sin). 

 

Parents, responsible adults and big brothers and sisters are definitely islamically responsible for protecting their children on the internet. And if we don't take responsibility then without doubt we will be asked on the day of judgement about this. 

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Salam, 

 

The solution is simple. Don't give your children any device that can access the Internet except the devices that are in public view.

I will never buy my children tablets. If I do, they will only be allowed to use them when in public view of adults. As of now, my children

only access the Internet via PC and Laptop which are in public, open spaces in the house where me or my wife can walk by at any moment and easily see what they are doing / looking at. No using the computer in a closed room. That has worked so far. 

 

Filtering / Parental control software does not work. There are many ways around it. Also, many parent rely on this software to keep their kids safe, and this creates a false sense of security and they no longer monitor, themselves, closely what their kids are doing online.

 

Most kids I know that 'got lost' because of Internet things is because A) their parents did not monitor them closely or B ) Their parents relied on Software to keep their kids safe or C ) The parents were doing those haram things themselves so their kids took their example (i.e. they saw their parents doing it so they thought it was o.k.).There is no substitution for your eyes and your ears and being close to your children and teaching them the religion and always stressing to them that if you do not see them, then Allah(s.w.a) sees them and they should stay far away from haram. And most importantly, the parents should stay away from haram themselves, so the children will, InShahAllah, follow the good example. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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Any good software for android tablets? The market of android is not safe for kids/ teens

 

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.vionika.parentalBoard&hl=en

Salam u alaykom,

 

Try to be a friend to your child and let him/her speak to you and resolve things in a friendly environment rather than he/she be frighten of you, because that just doesnt work!

 

Excellent point, but sadly, parental love does not do all the job. I have seen children push their loving parents away.

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https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.vionika.parentalBoard&hl=en

 

Excellent point, but sadly, parental love does not do all the job. I have seen children push their loving parents away.

I think he means that when your child has something to tell you, don't start yelling at them. Listen and give advice and explain. This way the child will always feel comfortable sharing things with you. If you yell at them every single time or lecture them before they even finish, they will stop sharing things with you. They will keep everything to themselves, even problems, because they know they will only get yelled at.
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I think he means that when your child has something to tell you, don't start yelling at them. Listen and give advice and explain. This way the child will always feel comfortable sharing things with you. If you yell at them every single time or lecture them before they even finish, they will stop sharing things with you. They will keep everything to themselves, even problems, because they know they will only get yelled at.

Yes i totally agree. But it will not do all the job, what you said with other actions.

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Yes i totally agree. But it will not do all the job, what you said with other actions.

Im guessing you must be in your 40s? Most young people I know have issues talking to their parents because even the smallest thing will get them a lecture or get them yelled at. I myself have this problem; usually when I need advice my parents get angry and yell at me and make me feel worse instead of helping me get through the situation. So me, and most other people I know who arent very close with their parents because of this, handle their problems on their own and either never tell the parents about it or tell them after it happens and is fixed.

 

Nouman explains it well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70X1DyaNmqM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj2E0jh9gYA

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Full lecture:

I will watch the videos soon thankyou. And what i meant was, referring to the point of this topic, is yes i am the type that tottaly is agaist parents yelling, lecturing and missunderstanding their children, but in this case, doing ONLY that will not have that much of an affect, i mean personally, my parents were loving and kind, yet i pushed them away. Yes bieng a understanding parent does play a vital role is raising your child well but internet security etc has to be in every islamic based home, not for the sake of bieng a hated strict parent but to keep away your child from 'discovering' certain things.

And about your parents, know that is a sign of their love, most fail to show love in the right way because of the generation they lived in. But the best thing to do, is be unlike them and lift your self in their eyes and to Allah swt. Dont show the same actions back rather be nice and kind back to them, my favourite poet says in arabic "and gods heaven is under the mothers feet, and whoever from you want heaven let him mum step on his head" seems wrong but its beautiful when you understand the mothers place in islam. And fourth imam a.s says: if you ever find something in your self that pleases, know that your father is the reason of that blessing.

In other words, have patience with them. Maybe you can help your freinds out also.

wasalam.

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I will watch the videos soon thankyou. And what i meant was, referring to the point of this topic, is yes i am the type that tottaly is agaist parents yelling, lecturing and missunderstanding their children, but in this case, doing ONLY that will not have that much of an affect, i mean personally, my parents were loving and kind, yet i pushed them away. Yes bieng a understanding parent does play a vital role is raising your child well but internet security etc has to be in every islamic based home, not for the sake of bieng a hated strict parent but to keep away your child from 'discovering' certain things.

And about your parents, know that is a sign of their love, most fail to show love in the right way because of the generation they lived in. But the best thing to do, is be unlike them and lift your self in their eyes and to Allah swt. Dont show the same actions back rather be nice and kind back to them, my favourite poet says in arabic "and gods heaven is under the mothers feet, and whoever from you want heaven let him mum step on his head" seems wrong but its beautiful when you understand the mothers place in islam. And fourth imam a.s says: if you ever find something in your self that pleases, know that your father is the reason of that blessing.

In other words, have patience with them. Maybe you can help your freinds out also.

wasalam.

Jazakallah khair for the advice, dealing with my parents is definitely my biggest test and something I need to work on iA.

thanks for sharing all that.

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you can control at your home, fine, but can you control her firend's home too?! or any other place your child tun up? causin's home? neighbour's home? classmate's home?, etc

 

the foundation needs to be grounded!

Well said, once the child is raised on an islamic based foundation and perfectly, then when they go out to the world they will act the same way the did at home. Important point, well stated.

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According to Imam Sadiq(a.s), the child from 0 to 7 is your King, from 7 to 14 your slave, and from 14 onward, your friend

That is the ideal way to raise a child. It is not to be taken literally, but basically before the age of 7, let them play and do what they want, 

from 7 to 14 is the time to be strict and clamp down and make sure they are doing everything they are supposed to be doing, because

this is the time that lifelong habits develop. After 14, they are basically who they are so then you can be friends. This applies to most things, 

including Internet Useage. 

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According to Imam Sadiq(a.s), the child from 0 to 7 is your King, from 7 to 14 your slave, and from 14 onward, your friend

That is the ideal way to raise a child. It is not to be taken literally, but basically before the age of 7, let them play and do what they want, 

from 7 to 14 is the time to be strict and clamp down and make sure they are doing everything they are supposed to be doing, because

this is the time that lifelong habits develop. After 14, they are basically who they are so then you can be friends. This applies to most things, 

including Internet Useage. 

 

Here imam alsadiq (as) states how to raise a child in just a few sentences, subhanallah. May Allah bless you for sharing.

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Unfortunately with the degrading society of ours, one of the biggest factors that lead the Muslim youth astray without a doubt is the internet. Kids as young as 8 nowadays have i pads, mobile phones, laptops and what not.

 

Parents feel they are doing their children a favor by giving them all these technological gadgets, but the bitter truth is parents are as much to blame as the kids are for going astray. How can you expose a young boy who is still maturing psychologically and physically to access to the internet when you are well aware of all the nasty things out there? It is truly saddening to see how our youth are being corrupted!! 

 

May Allah (s.w.t) guide us all...

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Develop trust with your child. Don't do things you wouldn't want them doing. Teach them right from wrong. Limit computers, tablets, and phones to use in public areas and be aware of sites and activities of your child. Use parental control software too.

Ultimately, the child will grow up and have to make their own choices.

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