Young Iranian Muslim Women & Alcohol

[Name's Ali Just Ali]

Salaam:

 

I am new here on shiachat. We are Shia-Muslim living in the West.

My son being a young 25 year old med student, practicing Shia American seems enamoured by beauty of Iranian women so we agreed for him to enroll in Iranian website where he may find a girl of our similar persuasion and hence get married & live happily ever after.  Amen! :-)

Ofcourse, this is a serious yet fun venture so sometimes I peek too as my son gets advise about these issues from us parents too.

 

However, what we found is a little disturbing. Quite a few of Muslim Iranian women in their profiles said they Drink: "Socially", And some even listed their favorite drink as red wine, champagne etc.

Obviously my son being strict to the extent that he is a label-reader got quite upset with this.

This is not to say all Iranian Muslim women drink alcohol "socially" but it seems some really do.

Also some pictures we saw of these women seemed like they are very Westernized in tiny skirts and tight fitting clothes etc, and seemed more Westernized than most Western folks here

 

Unfortunately, the only Iranians we met here in US were runaways from Iran from the Shah's time and they infact hate everything about Iran.

 

So can some Iranians explain what's really going on there? What these young Iranian Muslim womens' mentallity is their way of thinking is etc? 

 

Shukran

[ice unicorn]

Well there are two kinds of iranians. Religious Iranians and non-religious iranians. In the west the second kind is a lot more common.

 

True Muslim Iranian Women are actually very strict as far as I know and probably would not go on those websites. You should probably search elsewhere for those women.

[ImAli]

Not saying this doesn't occur, but perhaps this is just another  haterade filled troll post bashing Iranian women.

[Mu3lam]

Not saying this doesn't occur, but perhaps this is just another  haterade filled troll post bashing Iranian women.

Doubt it. At least where I live, most Iranians are irreligious and drink, party, etc. My guess is that most religious Iranians live in Iran. It's the irreligious ones that moved to the West.

[monad]

I drink water socially and narcotics secretly.

 

However there are many sites out there, and possibly some of the Ironians here may advice you on who to speak to regarding buying a wife. :)

 

Or possibly get in contact with your local center, then take a trip down to the land of the Persian cats and take it from there.

Edited November 4, 2013 by D3v1L

[Name's Ali Just Ali]

Not saying this doesn't occur, but perhaps this is just another  haterade filled troll post bashing Iranian women.

Look, my idea is not to troll or to offend anybody. You can yourself go and check on iranianpersonals.com

 

Also for us living in West, we always hear one-sided news about Iran so this is kind of anthrological exploration too.

 

But I 'd think I am new here so I need time to get known.  :donno:

[Zaynab McCabe]

Religion first not culture.....

Find someone who is religious aunty not just your culture.

It truly makes me wonder why people do this. Where is Islam in marriage these days... Marry for beliefs because everything else will fade one day from you.

[Waiting for HIM]

Marriage with the intention of "finding beauty"!!!!... say good bye to your son and specially your future generation.

 

I know a hadith about finding the spouse for beauty, for wealth, or for religion... I won't repeat it here, you could search for it and read it yourself; but I would highly advice against marrying 'for beauty'.

 

Also on a lighter side and not to downplay anyone, most White Iranians start looking 50 when they are 30 :). Unless you find a TAN Iranian, your son will be looking at a woman of his big sister age by the the time they both reach in 30s - LOL... If you really need beauty (which MUST be a 'nice to have' criterion rather than the 'first and only' in the list), go for Iraqis, Hijazis, and/or certain regions of Pakistani/Indian Shias.

 

Another piece of advice, after living among Iranians, Iraqis, Hijazis, and Lebanese Shias for a long time (besides my whole family from Pakistan/India), please sit, eat, spend lots of time, vacation, events, background checks with the families. There are a whole bunch of idiots and low lives in all regions of Shias. Just like there are whole bunch of 'gem of the humans' in all regions of Shias.

 

Don't get intoxicated by the region/city/country. 

Edited November 4, 2013 by Waiting for HIM

[Shiabro]

If your story is really true, then your son is wrong himself. Of course you won't see religious Iranians on such sites. How ignorant of him to look there :squeez: . Many religious Iranians marry quite early, so you won't find them on that site, anyways.

[Haji 2003]

Look, my idea is not to troll or to offend anybody. You can yourself go and check on iranianpersonals.com

 

Also for us living in West, we always hear one-sided news about Iran so this is kind of anthrological exploration too.

 

But I 'd think I am new here so I need time to get known.  :donno:

 

We get people posting with all sorts of 'agendas'.

 

Controversial topics are best posted occasionally after someone has a reasonable history of posting sensible material.

 

Anyone who needs an explanation of controversial, would probably lack the maturity to post sensibly in the first place.

[Zaynab McCabe]

:S didn't Read the OP names sorry Maybe you are a Muslim man.. I correct myself if u are *uncle^ I'm truly sorry no disrespect just my plan ignorance not reading your name fist

[A true Sunni]

Salaam:

 

I am new here on shiachat. We are Shia-Muslim living in the West.

My son being a young 25 year old med student, practicing Shia American seems enamoured by beauty of Iranian women so we agreed for him to enroll in Iranian website where he may find a girl of our similar persuasion and hence get married & live happily ever after.  Amen! :-)

Ofcourse, this is a serious yet fun venture so sometimes I peek too as my son gets advise about these issues from us parents too.

 

However, what we found is a little disturbing. Quite a few of Muslim Iranian women in their profiles said they Drink: "Socially", And some even listed their favorite drink as red wine, champagne etc.

Obviously my son being strict to the extent that he is a label-reader got quite upset with this.

This is not to say all Iranian Muslim women drink alcohol "socially" but it seems some really do.

Also some pictures we saw of these women seemed like they are very Westernized in tiny skirts and tight fitting clothes etc, and seemed more Westernized than most Western folks here

 

Unfortunately, the only Iranians we met here in US were runaways from Iran from the Shah's time and they infact hate everything about Iran.

 

So can some Iranians explain what's really going on there? What these young Iranian Muslim womens' mentallity is their way of thinking is etc? 

 

Shukran

 

 

Seems like you are moving in the wrong circles. You claim to be religious practising Shia. Can you elaborate on what you understand by this term.

For a approximate 50 year old you seem to be very ill-informed of the world.

I know many religious Iranians and equally I know many irreligous ones. 

 

When looking for a 'pearl of Muslim womanhood' whatever her nationality should you be looking in the pubs bars and clubs.

 

I havent been on this site you mentioned and don't intend to but has it a  filter for religious non-religious etc.

 

If it has such a filter why are you looking at all the irreligious mini skirted Iranian expats children who fled the revolution

Edited November 5, 2013 by A true Sunni

[shadow_of_light]

Drinking is not common here (although it has increased recently). For example, I have never seen anyone among my relatives or friends drinking. I believe that a mentally healthy person wont drink, even if he is not a muslim.

 

As to that website, I have never heard of it. But considering what you said, it seems that many of its members (if not most of them) are not religious. 

 

I personally think that it is better for your son to marry someone from your country who has the same culture and speaks the same language. And he also should change his mentality. Is beauty his first and most important criterion? If yes, can he be sure that after marriage he wont fall in love with a woman who is more beautiful than his wife?

+ That website is blocked in Iran. Therefore, it seems that it doesn't act within the law.

 

 

Also on a lighter side and not to downplay anyone, most White Iranians start looking 50 when they are 30

 

This is really offensive. Who gave such false information to you? One of the worst things you can tell a woman (which really annoys her) is that she looks older than her real age!

Many religious Iranians marry quite early, so you won't find them on that site, anyways.

 

In big cities, girls (religious or not) usually marry between 23-28. Early marriages often occur in villages or in poor families.

[baradar_jackson]

Many religious Iranians marry quite early, so you won't find them on that site, anyways.

 

It has become increasingly hard to get married young in Iran, so I would disagree with this statement. I have many friends in Iran in their late 20s who are motivated and want to get married but have not been able to. (both in the village and in the city)

[Nima]

Unfortunately it is not that simple. "All the Iranians in the West" are irreligious, while those living in Iran are a practicing muslims. 

 

Most people who  travel to Iran for the first time, has unfortunately a very superficial view when it comes to the Iranian population. "All Iranians are practicing muslims there are momineen"The disappointment is HUGE when they see that it's actually a lot who are  doing kufr. That's why I usually warn people the first time traveling to Iran, that there it's both religious and non-religious iranians. 

 

 

 Nobody is surprised if you see that  in country like  Turkey, there are indeed  many who do not practice their religion.

 

while I have an understanding why people "expect" more of Iranians than others when it comes to the practice of their religion.

 

Yes, there are Iranian women (men too) on Facebook, ( in Iran (!) ) , w have  pictures of themselves where they drink etc. 

 

The vast majority of Iranians in the west, has no relation to Islam. One should not look down on those Iranians who grew up in the west. One can blame the parents (who fled from Iran to the west), since they left Islam. They never taught their children about Islam. ( many of them still  know how to pray, recite surah al fatiha etc). 

It has become increasingly hard to get married young in Iran, so I would disagree with this statement. I have many friends in Iran in their late 20s who are motivated and want to get married but have not been able to. (both in the village and in the city)

 

Well, we have a another type of marriage...

Edited November 5, 2013 by Nima

[ShiaBen]

Salaam:

 

I am new here on shiachat. We are Shia-Muslim living in the West.

My son being a young 25 year old med student, practicing Shia American seems enamoured by beauty of Iranian women so we agreed for him to enroll in Iranian website where he may find a girl of our similar persuasion and hence get married & live happily ever after.  Amen! :-)

Ofcourse, this is a serious yet fun venture so sometimes I peek too as my son gets advise about these issues from us parents too.

 

However, what we found is a little disturbing. Quite a few of Muslim Iranian women in their profiles said they Drink: "Socially", And some even listed their favorite drink as red wine, champagne etc.

Obviously my son being strict to the extent that he is a label-reader got quite upset with this.

This is not to say all Iranian Muslim women drink alcohol "socially" but it seems some really do.

Also some pictures we saw of these women seemed like they are very Westernized in tiny skirts and tight fitting clothes etc, and seemed more Westernized than most Western folks here

 

Unfortunately, the only Iranians we met here in US were runaways from Iran from the Shah's time and they infact hate everything about Iran.

 

So can some Iranians explain what's really going on there? What these young Iranian Muslim womens' mentallity is their way of thinking is etc? 

 

Shukran

 

Does your son want a woman with hijab or without hijab?

 

If you want someone with hijab, that's probably tough as there's not a whole lot in the States.

 

If hijab isn't a big deal,maybe your chances look a bit better.

 

Also, dating sites are not going to help you much. Those are for the most part restricted to more none-religious Iranians.

 

Your best bet is probably to find such a woman through a Shiite mosque.

[ImAli]

 

Doubt it. At least where I live, most Iranians are irreligious and drink, party, etc. My guess is that most religious Iranians live in Iran. It's the irreligious ones that moved to the West.

 

Of course they do....and you're on the west coast. This type of things goes on in every community in the U.S........but it seems the OP is singling out all Iranian women. Usually these posts signify some sort of bitterness due to the aftermath of rejection.

 

We get people posting with all sorts of 'agendas'.

 

Controversial topics are best posted occasionally after someone has a reasonable history of posting sensible material.

 

Anyone who needs an explanation of controversial, would probably lack the maturity to post sensibly in the first place.

 

Because on SC people don't make new accounts and post topics like this after he or she has been rejected  :rolleyes:

 

[Baji]

Go to an actual masjid. I've met 2 religious iranian families in my life. One was religious but not so religious that they'd go study islam, and the other family was pretty religious and mashallah the son was only like 11 and knew more about islam and the Imams (as) than shia adults I've met! That kid knew his stuff and learned it all from his parents mostly, who are also pro-iran. Both families had moved here recently (<5 yrs ago). Theyre rare but they exist. Just go to the right place to find them. Or get past the fact that maybe your son isn't meant to marry an irani because beauty shouldn't be first priority.

[Name's Ali Just Ali]

Thank you all for your replies.

 

I should have just let my son spearhead this discussion himself.

 

Having said that let me follow thru:

 

1. The key operative word in my first post is "enamored". My son living here is fascinated by Iranians not just for physical beauty but by the fact that Iran is THE only Shia majority country. So one expects, as Nima confirmed, that most Iranian women would be momeen. Maybe I failed to convey my initial point about beauty eloquently enough.

 

2. The 2nd reason of fascination is because we are originally from Indian subcontinent so Farsi culture/language would be closer to Urdu in comparision to Shia of other ethnicities.

 

3. He would like a young woman with headscarf but not overtly covered up as in nurkha.

 

4. People need to understand that being brought up in strict environment as ours that too in the West; our kids don't date, drink, party so we allowed for him to look around but to our amazement it obviously was not a wise decision picking on random websites.

 

5. Next stop for him/us would be Al Khoei Centre in NYC or such (if he is still fascinated by his idea of marrying an Iranian). Although my wife strongly prefers someone of Indo/Pak origin.

 

Again my post was NOT intended to offend anyone but more it is to help our son and find out some more about Iranians thru personal dialogue like these. We live in remote part of US where let alone Shia but it is not even easy to find many Muslims.

And all we hear in US media is how good Israel is and how bad Iran is.

 

Thanks again and remember us in you doa during Moharram.

[fibonacci]

Also some pictures we saw of these women seemed like they are very Westernized in tiny skirts and tight fitting clothes etc, and seemed more Westernized than most Western folks here

 

Unfortunately, the only Iranians we met here in US were runaways from Iran from the Shah's time and they infact hate everything about Iran.

 

So can some Iranians explain what's really going on there? What these young Iranian Muslim womens' mentallity is their way of thinking is etc? 

 

Shukran

 

Salam

 

If you're wondering why the WEST is in the state that it is in...

 

Please make sure to read this long thread on why women dress provocatively .

 

It may explain their mentality.

 

It all comes down to the fact that the economy here is based on the fact that

wealth is created by a few people by means of simply typing a few digits on a keyboard

or it is borrowed from asia and the docile people are happy to have their unborn children of future generations as collateral for the debt.

 

It's not like in the past where wealth was acquired first by productive individuals

like farmers, engineers, industrialists, entrepreneurs, miners, scientists, ...etc.

 

so this artificially acquired money goes into the hands of a few individuals

who are obsessed with making more by putting it into sectors where they acquire as much money as possible, with as little work necessary

these are sectors are often those that thrives on riba consumption, rent seeking, alchohol consumption, gambling, financial speculation, entertainment, addictive drug consumption (pharmaceuticals) and other vices

 

Now the people who work in these industries often do not follow a religion

 

so these non-relgious people get the wealth first (before it decays in value), and they get the most of it

 

Now a religious youth who wants to marry in such an economic environment, quickly recognizes this phenomena subconsciously.

As a result most just go in the path of least resistance, by compromising on their faith in order to join these artificially wealthy non-religious individuals.

 

Inshallah things will get better, and it starts by having the economy run a monetary system where wealth can be created by no one but Allah... where the wealth is hidden in the mountains, and requires hard work, courage, adventurism and scientific learning to acquire it.

 

 

***

 

Now as for Iran

 

it is similar, but more subtle and deceptive

 

just remember, whatever a gov does the opposite effect always results

 

In the US, they wanted to ban alchohol in the 1920s, the end result was that more people became alchoholics

 

They want to ban drugs, drug use rises which yielded big drug wars.

Just look at prisons, where there is total control on drug use, but yet the rate of drug use is higher there than the general population.

 

They want to give welfare to the poor and need.... more poor and needy arises.

 

So the same phenomena exists in Iran.

 

The regime wants everyone to be religious and not drink alcohol...

more people start to be nonreligious.

 

Until people wake up and recognize this fact, the trend gets worse.

Edited November 5, 2013 by fibonacci

[baradar_jackson]

 The key operative word in my first post is "enamored". My son living here is fascinated by Iranians not just for physical beauty but by the fact that Iran is THE only Shia majority country.

 

But... that's not really true, is it?

 

Bahrain is Shia majority

Iraq is Shia majority

Azerbaijan Republic is Shia majority (although with a predominantly secular population)

Lebanon may be Shia majority; either way, Shias constitute the largest religious group there

Kuwait is about 50/50

 

I don't know where you get the idea of Iran being the only Shia country

[Name's Ali Just Ali]

But... that's not really true, is it?

 

Bahrain is Shia majority

Iraq is Shia majority

Azerbaijan Republic is Shia majority (although with a predominantly secular population)

Lebanon may be Shia majority; either way, Shias constitute the largest religious group there

Kuwait is about 50/50

 

I don't know where you get the idea of Iran being the only Shia country

You are right. But, I guess the fascination is more because Iran is always demonized where we live and the country is sort of "behind iron curtain", to use a phrase that was once used for communist China.

[ShiaBen]

Thank you all for your replies.

 

I should have just let my son spearhead this discussion himself.

 

Having said that let me follow thru:

 

1. The key operative word in my first post is "enamored". My son living here is fascinated by Iranians not just for physical beauty but by the fact that Iran is THE only Shia majority country. So one expects, as Nima confirmed, that most Iranian women would be momeen. Maybe I failed to convey my initial point about beauty eloquently enough.

 

2. The 2nd reason of fascination is because we are originally from Indian subcontinent so Farsi culture/language would be closer to Urdu in comparision to Shia of other ethnicities.

 

3. He would like a young woman with headscarf but not overtly covered up as in nurkha.

 

4. People need to understand that being brought up in strict environment as ours that too in the West; our kids don't date, drink, party so we allowed for him to look around but to our amazement it obviously was not a wise decision picking on random websites.

 

5. Next stop for him/us would be Al Khoei Centre in NYC or such (if he is still fascinated by his idea of marrying an Iranian). Although my wife strongly prefers someone of Indo/Pak origin.

 

Again my post was NOT intended to offend anyone but more it is to help our son and find out some more about Iranians thru personal dialogue like these. We live in remote part of US where let alone Shia but it is not even easy to find many Muslims.

And all we hear in US media is how good Israel is and how bad Iran is.

 

Thanks again and remember us in you doa during Moharram.

 

What's wrong with Indo/Pak women? 

[Name's Ali Just Ali]

What's wrong with Indo/Pak women? 

 

Indo/Pak woman would be best. We are from there originally. And we proudly say it. :-)