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In the Name of God بسم الله

I Dont Like My Sister Inlaw Very Much

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she is making me very angry

she is making comments on my marriage and home life saying i do nothing for my husband when its simply not true i do every single thing for my husband and our baby 

 

i try to explain to her everything i do yet she still complains

 

she isnt even married to even be commenting on anything and has her mum do everything for her

 

She also said mum and i will come into ur apartment and watch how you do everything ( im thinking excuse me who are you to make these comments)

 

dont even get me started on how she tries to control the trips my husband takes with me and going shopping with me telling me what my husband does and does not like even when he wears almost similar things 

 

I am feeling very annoyed at her and dont want much to do with her

how can i resolve this?

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My mother has the same problem but has been married to my father for more than 20 yrs now allhumdulilah. As a child of a women who has in-laws that bother her at times I want to tell you something: For the sake of your kids, do NOT let your in-laws get to you. Be above them by respecting them even when they don't respect you. Trust me, you kids will think VERY highly of you if you do this. My mother just complains about my dad's sisters to everyone and I always feel sad because I see other women dealing with similar situations in a much more mature way. So please, if you ever want your kids to think well of you, be mature and ignore your in-laws yet still respect them. They could be worse and starting drama with them will not help you. I really hope you take my advice seriously because I connect to your situation personally and I wish my mother was more mature about the whole thing. Learn to forgive and move on. Holding grudges will only be your loss! Seriously, be the women your kids will always be amazed by even when become adults, not the women they have to advise on how to deal with this situation :/ if you can't do this then I feel sorry for your kids as they won't feel they have a wise mother they can go to for advice, and this is coming from experience so don't be offended by anything I've said.

Edited by Baji
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@OP: Why didn't you just start ONE topic and listed all the marital problems you had therein? Much easier for people to notice it once and comment, instead of having you look like a complete whiner.

 

Just speak to your husband about their behaviour and ignore the rantings from your SIL. Just don't give her the impression that her talks are influencing you in the slightest, she'll stop once she realizes you aren't giving her much attention and it is not bothering you.

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^lol


My mother has the same problem but has been married to my father for more than 20 yrs now allhumdulilah. As a child of a women who has in-laws that bother her at times I want to tell you something: For the sake of your kids, do NOT let your in-laws get to you. Be above them by respecting them even when they don't respect you. Trust me, you kids will think VERY highly of you if you do this. My mother just complains about my dad's sisters to everyone and I always feel sad because I see other women dealing with similar situations in a much more mature way. So please, if you ever want your kids to think well of you, be mature and ignore your in-laws yet still respect them. They could be worse and starting drama with them will not help you. I really hope you take my advice seriously because I connect to your situation personally and I wish my mother was more mature about the whole thing. Learn to forgive and move on. Holding grudges will only be your loss! Seriously, be the women your kids will always be amazed by even when become adults, not the women they have to advise on how to deal with this situation :/ if you can't do this then I feel sorry for your kids as they won't feel they have a wise mother they can go to for advice, and this is coming from experience so don't be offended by anything I've said.

op,this is the best advice for ur situation,besides,keep in mind that ur sis in law is your kids auntiii so it would be better to keep peace in the air...

 

another suggestion from me,get ur sis in law a husband and she'll be ok :D

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Salam, 

Either you are too nice or your afraid, either way if your sister in law is  getting between your marriage, you have to stand up for yourself and handle the situation. If you cant do it tell your husband to tell her to calm down a bit. 

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Just about the only thing you can do to your SIL and MIL is kill them with kindness. You will have to play the manipulator at the same time. For example if you have been nice overly nice and friendly to them when your husband is and isn't around, then they attempt to embarrass or reprimand you turn the tears on to your husband and plead with him that you are trying and how you love him and his family very much and you only want you MIL and SIL to be your friend....sounds pathetic I know, but do it anyway. You need to realize that you can not win against them by striking back or fighting which is exactly what they want you to do. 

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Asalam Alaikum ,

 

ok this may be hard for you to do but what I WOULD DO, would be to ask them then to teach you show you how THEY would do it. Bite your tongue and your pride and ask for THEIR help. Its not like your husband can/will get rid of his family, as you are also part of it now, especially with a child. I agree with ImanAli and kill them with kindness. You seem to be having issues with your marriage, but look at all the good and beautiful of it. Try not to look only at the bad, and just give yourself a coating of teflon and let things just slide. A good Muslim wife is not an easy thing, but it is the best thing. You cannot think of just YOU, you have a baby and by all rights the baby has his fathers family close by.  Vent if you must but keep the venting and complaining OUTSIDE of your marriage, it will only harm it and not get him to see your point. Insha'Allah you can have m ore sabr sister and enjoy your husband.

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Wait until she gets married, then you can take your revenge, or make life difficult for some other married woman. That's how most women deal with this issue. Although, I don't understand it. If one woman is making my life difficult, why would it make me feel better to make life difficult for some other woman who has done nothing wrong with me? It's sad but true, every women is oppressed in her own marriage but she is oppressor for some other married woman. 

Edited by Mokhtar2012
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You do realize this is like the fourth topic from you now? And yet again You're still complaining about how awful your life is and you hate this and that. This is an online forum, It shouldn't be used for hemorrhaging on and on about. In short, Simply stop whining. Or actually sit down and discuss your issues. Or Therapy? Your pick.

Haha +1 She reminds me of the girls on facebook that rant all day on their status.

she is making me very angry

she is making comments on my marriage and home life saying i do nothing for my husband when its simply not true i do every single thing for my husband and our baby

i try to explain to her everything i do yet she still complains

she isnt even married to even be commenting on anything and has her mum do everything for her

She also said mum and i will come into ur apartment and watch how you do everything ( im thinking excuse me who are you to make these comments)

dont even get me started on how she tries to control the trips my husband takes with me and going shopping with me telling me what my husband does and does not like even when he wears almost similar things

I am feeling very annoyed at her and dont want much to do with her

how can i resolve this?

Well the only way, STRAIGHT OUT tell her you should mind your business. Wallah if I was you, I would say it to her face, "THAT'S MY HOUSE, GET THE HECK OUT". I can't believe you actually put up with this. Talk to your husband about her. I always thought sister in laws were good friends, it's always the mother in law that causes the problems, but I guess here it's diff.
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Haha +1 She reminds me of the girls on facebook that rant all day on their status.

Well the only way, STRAIGHT OUT tell her you should mind your business. Wallah if I was you, I would say it to her face, "THAT'S MY HOUSE, GET THE HECK OUT". I can't believe you actually put up with this. Talk to your husband about her. I always thought sister in laws were good friends, it's always the mother in law that causes the problems, but I guess here it's diff.

 

Actually she can't do that because she is all alone in Saudi Arabia with her mother in law and sister in law most likely wishing he had married a favorite niece or cousin of theirs instead of an Australian girl. Arab women are very manipulative and dramatic.......most likely he will take his mother and sisters side due to language barriers and the simple rule of blood is thicker than water (I don't care how well he speaks English). She is going to have to play it very carefully, kill them with kindness and tears, all the while pretending to be an innocent angel....even if it makes her want to vomit doing so. This is the only way to make her husband side with her in such a situation. I see what you mean though......if it were me and I had all of my family around and a place to take sanctuary I would be a big mouth and tell everyone off, but in this case one shouldn't do so. 

 

Then again this "woman" complains quite a bit and seems like a toxic person, so we don't know what she may be doing to invite the wrath of her in laws. Honestly I have  my suspicions about this user being Australian or even a woman, "her" English isn't advanced enough to pass for a native speaker (I'm sicking of eating at restaurants).....and as I said on another thread these posts wreak of someone trying to incite fitna between the genders on SC. 

Edited by ImAli
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Oh wait is that the same man that made the "husband don't want me to study" and lives in saudi? LOL

Yeah I was against reverts marrying esp saudi, not because of the man himself, but I know that arab women are such drama queens, and the girl's culture and how she behaves is way different than they do. They'll be problems with the inlaws. If he lived in a western world then that's better for her.

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What happened to Husn-e-zan? Thinking good about someone even if you see them doing wrong. She is a young girl, 21 years old dealing with a lot, living in a different culture with her in-laws and a young baby. Most girls do face problems from their in-laws and their husbands fail to do the justice. It's a fact. I don't understand why is everyone attacking her? We don't have to assume her  husband is evil, but why is it so hard to say a few consoling words and say that we will pray for you. May be she has no friends and after receiving hate from her in-laws, she tried to find some friends among strangers and what did she get? I have not seen any new posts from her, so can we please leave her alone? 

I guess she made a mistake by converting and now she has no family for support and she has to bother us with her problems. 

Edited by Mokhtar2012
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You guys are not living in one of those notorious joint family environment are you? :wacko:

 

You should tell her to mind her own business and then just avoid talking to her. Also, tell her she's not welcome to your home/apartment. The best way to maintain peace among the relatives is to not live in a proximity to each other. Best is to live in different city and have no common friends.

Edited by Gypsy
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