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In the Name of God بسم الله

When Will I Marry?

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  • Basic Members

Assalamo Alaikom dear brothers and sisters,

 

I had a question for you all. We have so many hadiths about how marriage completes half of your religion and how Allah insists in early marriages, but there are many people that want to get married but can't. For example in some cases for girls, they must wait until someone contacts her parents and asks to get to know her for marriage. What if she really wants to get married and is praying to God to get married, but no one comes for her? Allah is fair and Ar-Rahamarraheem, but what if the girl falls into Haraam because she doesn't get any suitors.

 

There is a saying that one must first take action then leave the rest to Allah, but some girls must wait around till someone comes. Same thing goes for some guys as well. I knew a guy who has been wanting to get married for the passed 5-6 years and is proposing to many girls, and even when he accepts and is ready to say yes, the bride side says no.

 

So what Im trying to get to is, does Allah want us to get married? If so, what do girls do when they can not find a husband by themself, but have to wait for proposals? Is God trying to test someone with not allowing early marriage? If a girl knows she will fall into haraam, what should she do? If she has already told her parents she wants to get married, but her parents tell her you have to wait for a suitor, what happens then?

 

I will appreciate the responses

-Thinkernow

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  • Veteran Member

ws

yeah i understand what it feels like,but as u said Allah might be testing u,if u do no haram Allah will reward u in a very amazing way,better than what u even expect,i think a girl must socialize,socialize and socialize,it's really important if she wants to have marriage proposals..,plus of course making duas in the morning,midday,night..all the time pray to god to send her the best for her,and Allah is generous and kind he will send him,but in the suitable period of time for the girl,even if she thinks it's getting late,that might be for her benefit,Allah knows best..

 

best wishes..peace..

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  • Advanced Member

Wait for someone? What are you cinderella with a fairy god mother? Go out and find yourself a suitor, There are 7.4 billion people on this world. But there are only 2.1 billion muslims. And out of those, only 1/4 are Shi'a. Associate yourself with the mosque, socialize with people, do some work. You will get noticed, usually do. Now stop whining.

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  • Advanced Member

Assalamo Alaikom dear brothers and sisters,

 

I had a question for you all. We have so many hadiths about how marriage completes half of your religion and how Allah insists in early marriages, but there are many people that want to get married but can't. For example in some cases for girls, they must wait until someone contacts her parents and asks to get to know her for marriage. What if she really wants to get married and is praying to God to get married, but no one comes for her? Allah is fair and Ar-Rahamarraheem, but what if the girl falls into Haraam because she doesn't get any suitors.

 

There is a saying that one must first take action then leave the rest to Allah, but some girls must wait around till someone comes. Same thing goes for some guys as well. I knew a guy who has been wanting to get married for the passed 5-6 years and is proposing to many girls, and even when he accepts and is ready to say yes, the bride side says no.

 

So what Im trying to get to is, does Allah want us to get married? If so, what do girls do when they can not find a husband by themself, but have to wait for proposals? Is God trying to test someone with not allowing early marriage? If a girl knows she will fall into haraam, what should she do? If she has already told her parents she wants to get married, but her parents tell her you have to wait for a suitor, what happens then?

 

I will appreciate the responses

-Thinkernow

 

To some extent I can relate to this post, however, it also really troubled me. 

 

Marriage is just that, HALF our deen. Have you completed your other half though???? Not to be harsh but you're so focused on marriage that you are forgetting something very important; yourself. 

 

Where is your deen when you say you will do haram if you are not married. Falling into sin so easily is a flaw you do NOT want to enter marriage with. Do you think that after you're married shaytan will not continue to try and set you astray with other matters?? Do you think being married automatically labels you as sinless. Absolutely not. I would say perfect yourself sister. "Haram" for you shouldn't even be a thought, fight it and do not make it the reason for marriage.

 

Now as for the concept of wanting to be married, I can absolutely relate to that. You and me, like many other girls in this world are craving marriage and the need to have a partner in our lives. However, it is important for us to filter, marriage isn't just about escaping doing something haram, its a commitment. Which is why it is up to us to choose the right person. Marriage proposals isn't the issue, its searching for the best match. 

 

How do we find the other half? The best match? We perfect our half FIRST and foremost. 

 

Good luck to you friend. 

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  • Advanced Member

I didn't read the question. But whenever you have a stable job and can afford a family, that's when you're ready. Don't be a fool and fall in love and marry based off love. Don't love until you are ready to love. Marriage should be more like a business deal, before you get married both will discuss their roles and their conditions. But when you're in love you'll be too blinded by love that you can't see the other person's bad points or maybe you'll just brush it off.

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