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In the Name of God بسم الله

My Family Still Dont Like Me Being A Muslim

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  • Advanced Member

i am 21 years old 

i converted to islam when i was only 18  i got married at 19

my mum asks me all time "do you have to wear that thing on your head?" "take it off your not ugly"  i explained many times why i cover still she hates it

One time i was eating she put pork on my food knowing i cant eat it because of what she did

i love my mum very much  im very nice to her and speak to her with respect  and i buy her gifts and send them to australia

 

my sister she will not talk to me anymore she is an married to an coptic christian (mind you i was muslim before she met him)

he tells her not to talk to me, and when she does she will insult prophet mohammed 

 

i love my family still after this and i want them to accept me 

but i will not give into them and how they feel about islam

Edited by Simplymuslim21
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  • Veteran Member

i am 21 years old 

i converted to islam when i was only 18  i got married at 19

my mum asks me all time "do you have to wear that thing on your head?" "take it off your not ugly"  i explained many times why i cover still she hates it

One time i was eating she put pork on my food knowing i cant eat it because of what she did

i love my mum very much  im very nice to her and speak to her with respect  and i buy her gifts and send them to australia

 

my sister she will not talk to me anymore she is an married to an coptic christian (mind you i was muslim before she met him)

he tells her not to talk to me, and when she does she will insult prophet mohammed 

 

i love my family still after this and i want them to accept me 

but i will not give into them and how they feel about islam

 

Salaam Sister. You are very strong, and I can never know your position. Know that Allah is with you and this is your trial.Yes, please respect all your family, as they expect you to act the opposite of a muslim. Obey your parents as long as they dont tell you to not obey your religion, then you must not obey them. If you didnt know it was pork, then its okay because Allah sees everything, and He understands what you go through. I will pray for you and all those, that are in the situation like yours. Keep your head strong, mimic the prophets actions, show them what true islam is what about, and trust me, by the will of Allah they will see true beauty. Your not alone sister, never forget that. Stay Strong, pray and dua!

 

(wasalam)

Edited by PureEthics
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Just question them in regards to your freedom, as a :human being, YOU have full authority over your own existence and to follow the path that suits you. And what are the real causes, of them, in not accepting your :FREEDOM to exercise your BIRTH right of Free will.

 

You need to draw a line between you and your sister. That line is, if you disrespect me in any way, then I shan't speak to thee, reason, a :HUMAN being, respects the rights of others. If she is not respecting your right, through dialogue, but insults, she has revoked her own Human rights. ( we are dealing with converse here ).

 

Many :Human beings, forget to respect their own rights, and adhere to the rights of others, while existing. Existence has to be on mutual grounds, one simply cannot forgo it.

 

And, you need to let them know, of , what has been written.

Edited by D3v1L
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In islam, that only time you can disobey your parents is when they disobey god so i guess you can do what you want but always be patint and Allah swt will reward you. Somone loved the prophet so much and always dreamed of visiting him but his mum dissagreed so he sent him a letter telling him he replied ' visiting me is wanted (mustahab) but obeying your mother is obigotary.

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  • Advanced Member

Salam sister,

 

Do you live with your parents? Am assuming that since you said you are married, and that you send them gifts, then you don't, you are very lucky...

 

Most parents do not accept it...and it makes it a lot more difficult if you live with them day in and day out, and go through the same arguments as a routine for years and years...ruining the relationship completely over time...

so consider yourself lucky:) distance can keep the relationships alive.. and inshaAllah if they get to see that you are an independant, mature woman who is not oppressed and that you are completely happy with life....inshaAllah they will finally realize that it is okay for you to make your own choices..

also, maybe once you have a baby inshaAllah things will get better? I have heard that most families accept their children due to the grandchildren?but I don't know if that will help in your particular case, depending on whether they have an issue with your husband or not...

 

You seem to be a very strong (and patient!!) woman...and May Allah give you, and all Muslims in similar positions, the strength to go through it...

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Streuth !....you're such a whinger for an aussie 

first it's your hubbie  , and now you're oldies .

what's next ?

the Aussies lost the world cup again .

Get over it sis , and ever be grateful for being chosen by :Allah swt to the VIP elite status of all creation as a :Shia.

it's better than getting pissed at the pub till you drop and spew your guts out with  mates every saty. night like most young Aussies 

how much can a koala bear ?.

Edited by :Sami II
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  • Veteran Member

Its to be expected. If a member of any of our family converts to another religion/culture/way of life we would naturally be a bit disoriented and disapproving. 

 

Time heals all. Give it time and be understanding of them. Everything is going to pass and change. What'll remain is memories.

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  • Advanced Member

I agree give it time. May Allah guide them. I can undestand its not easy. Many people who have coverted to Islam have had to deal with difficulties with family/friends just like you described, some more than others. Just ask Allah to give you patience.

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  • Basic Members

(salam)

 

I had to deal with similar things when I converted. It hurts, but you will get used to it inshaAllah. When these things happen, remember that the Prophet (saws) had to deal with much worse from some of his family and he was still strong in imaan. May Allah guide your mother to Islam.

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  • 1 month later...
  • Advanced Member

hello dear,

                        our story is little bit same my family dont like me  even i m born muslim bcoz am not good muslim. so cheer up its life u r doing good  and ur family didnt hate u its just like and dislike just matter of time. GOD BLESS U and keep u on right path .

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  • Advanced Member

Salam sis,

 

I also dealt with those issues. I became Muslim at 17 and of course my family thought I was too young and immature and not knowing what I was doing.

To be honest I dealt with it in a way that I gathered as much knowledge as possible to refute all the possible questions I knew they would ask me. I did not put hijab on until 6 months after and I used those 6 months to learn a lot so they realize that I was not doing things blindly and that I was strong in my stance and choice.

Alhamdillah that worked! also, alhamdillah my family is very understanding people that even though they would through comments about my hijab or Islam at times, once they saw that I would respond firmly and serious, they had nothing else to say. You gotta treat them with patience, kindness and firmness in the way that they realize why you converted. Even if they do not understand, inshallah you can at least make them respect your decision by showing them good behaviors. 

 

May Allah be with you.

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  • 5 months later...
  • Advanced Member

Salam sister,

 

My story, as many others, is similar. I converted at 16, and as I lived in the country in which, due to centuries of troubled history and wars, Islam is very intensely hated, I had to endure much. I was beaten up  and locked in my room for days, I was given only pork to eat and I had to suffer much until I was 18 and able to marry and go away. Even that had to be done in secret, and when I left for Middle East I had no contact with my family for over 5 years. Then we went back, and my mother accepted that I was married and had a small daughter, but she never got over my being a Muslim until she died a couple of years ago. Now, 20 years later, my close family members still wish me to convert back, and it is a very difficult issue about which we do not speak, as it troubles them very much. But I am still very polite to everyone, I am open for any discussion and I show them that I love them and that this will never change. I wish I could explain Islam to them, at least a little bit, but it is still not possible. Yet...

 

My advice to you is, be nice, be polite, be loving and yet, be firm and set some boundaries. Show them unmistakably that you shall not tolerate any cursing and insulting the Prophet s.a.a.s. or anyone else of your new faith (stand up and leave the room as soon as they start), and with time they'll understand. Stay open for any conversation and yet show them how happy Islam makes you. Maybe they'll never convert themselves, but in time they shall see you in a different light. And remember - you are the representative of Islam, and through you they shall see its beauty.

 

God bless you and give you strength, and lead you further on the path of Muhammad al Mustafa and Ahlulbayt s.a.a.s.

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