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In the Name of God بسم الله

Promised Marriage. Advice For Friend.

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Yasoora

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I know a friend that has been talking to a brother with a pure intention of getting married. Their conversations contain barriers & ground rules ie. no lustful lines . The thing is, they can't get married yet because theh both are young& are still studdying, they cant tell the parents because they will freak out due to age...

In this case, what should she do? continue talking to him but still maintain these barriers or Are these conversations still harram?

They don't include things like 'I love you' & 'we will live together' & whatnot . It's more like Inshallah if things work out & its if Allah wills it.

If its harram then what should she do?

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Salam Alikum,

Here are some of the rulings by Aya. Sistani that might be helpful.

 

515Question: Is it permissible to talk to women about love without lustful intention or fear of temptation or encouraging a harãm act?

Answer: Based on obligatory precaution, it is not allowed.

 

517Question: Is it permissible to talk with women without lustful intention for the purpose of gaining satisfaction with one of them and then to propose temporary marriage to her?

Answer: If the talk is devoid of what one should be talking about to a strange [i.e., non-mahram] woman, then there is no problem in it.

 

I am not sure how to interpret the second response.

 

Generally, if there is no contract between two na-mahrams then the third person between the two is always Shaitan hence its always a dangerous game where we might feel that there is no haram taking place but sins might be written on our scrolls.

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Isn't it very obvious to you what the problem is.

 

The two kids know that they are not ready for marriage. They also know that they cannot get married as of now.

 

So why are they talking with each other with the pure intention of getting married? :wacko:

 

For lulz

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Isn't it very obvious to you what the problem is.

The two kids know that they are not ready for marriage. They also know that they cannot get married as of now.

So why are they talking with each other with the pure intention of getting married? :wacko:

The guy is old enough to get married, but she isn't . But due to islamic law she is.

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(salam)

 

Do you want the Islamic answer or the answer that makes you feel good?

 

Or the reality of today?

 

There are many answers and opinions that you can receive, but the only ones that truly matter to a Muslim are the Islamic answers.

 

The Islamic answer is that a Muslim man can marry a Muslim woman if they both agree and the woman has permission from her Wali...

 

Fatwa from Sayyid Sistani:

 

Q26) Can a girl who is virgin marry without her guardian’s permission? In what case is she allowed to marry without permission?

A26) It is not permissible for a virgin girl marry without first obtaining her father or grandfather’s permission. She should get his permission as a measure of obligatory precaution even if she is self-dependent in her life. Yes, if her guardian does not interfere in her matters, she is allowed to marry without his permission.

 

If you have a Marjaa that you follow then go look at what they say...

 

There is nothing wrong with them getting married, as long as they do it the Islamic way, if they claim to be Muslim.

 

It could be a temporary marriage (Mutah) if they just want to get to know each other and remain halaal in relationship.

 

But there is a ridiculous stigma with Mutah even though it is halaal, because of culture and anti-Islamic propaganda, so that probably won't happen! Thanks Omar for making Islam better, where would we be without your alterations!?

 

lol /sarcasm 

 

Anyways, they shouldn't beat around the bush and hide their relationship, it will be terrible if their community finds out.  Just be open and honest and talk to their parents, who will probably say no, and they don't have any other choice because they aren't financially independent I presume.

 

So let's be realistic, ask the parents and find out, do your studies, do Mutah, be responsible, don't expect Romeo and Juliet love (which ended in suicide anyways!), life is hard, accept it and move on.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I know a friend that has been talking to a brother with a pure intention of getting married. Their conversations contain barriers & ground rules ie. no lustful lines . The thing is, they can't get married yet because theh both are young& are still studdying, they cant tell the parents because they will freak out due to age...

In this case, what should she do? continue talking to him but still maintain these barriers or Are these conversations still harram?

They don't include things like 'I love you' & 'we will live together' & whatnot . It's more like Inshallah if things work out & its if Allah wills it.

If its harram then what should she do?

Why do parents "freak out" when they hear of young marriages.

 

I was reading about the new Foreign Minister of Iran, who when studying in USA got married when he was 19 years old while studying in USA. He later did his PhD., studied in USA for a long time, represented Iran in UNO, had a very successful and accomplished carrier, and is nominated the Foreign Minister of Iran again.

 

So those young marriage 'freak out" parents, are they still 1000 years behind in Islamic Rushd (islamic Intellectual Growth) than Iran's FM and his parents.

 

Shame!

Edited by Waiting for HIM
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Why do parents "freak out" when they hear of young marriages.

 

I was reading about the new Foreign Minister of Iran, who when studying in USA got married when he was 19 years old while studying in USA. He later did his PhD., studied in USA for a long time, represented Iran in UNO, had a very successful and accomplished carrier, and is nominated the Foreign Minister of Iran again.

 

So those young marriage 'freak out" parents, are they still 1000 years behind in Islamic Rushd (islamic Intellectual Growth) than Iran's FM and his parents.

 

Shame!

bla bla bla bla = make no sense

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Why do parents "freak out" when they hear of young marriages.

I was reading about the new Foreign Minister of Iran, who when studying in USA got married when he was 19 years old while studying in USA. He later did his PhD., studied in USA for a long time, represented Iran in UNO, had a very successful and accomplished carrier, and is nominated the Foreign Minister of Iran again.

So those young marriage 'freak out" parents, are they still 1000 years behind in Islamic Rushd (islamic Intellectual Growth) than Iran's FM and his parents.

Shame!

Thank you for answering , i honestly don't know why they freak out. Like if they keep the barriers and then when they're older they can tell their parents.. I know it could be a distraction for them but like i'm sure it all depends on how they manage their time. + mutah at a young age is not really something parents would even want to hear.

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