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In the Name of God بسم الله

Call Stalker

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Assalamo Alaykom,

 

I am having a problem and need your help.

About a couple years ago, my friend met an mod or admin on another site (islamic) to help her with some stuff and I ended up talking to him. I was very young then, so we did not continue, until about 9 months ago, he began to talk with me, but I showed no interest. 

 

Anyways, to make a long story short, this person lives in another country, and unfortunately I made a very big mistake of giving my number (although it wasn't directly). He kept wanting to get our parents involved and had marriage intentions. I responded negatively and said I do not think we are a good match. Now he would not take no for an answer. About 7 months ago (so this is like 2 months after we talked), right after I gave my number, he kept calling and so forth. He would keep saying I get a good vibe from you and I will talk to ur family with my parents. And I just wanted him to stop,I repeatedly told him no for religious reasons (he did not pray or fast or even value the ahle bayt) but he kept calling, so I blocked his number, then he began calling from other numbers. These numbered varied, and so I block all unknown calls and any number that seems mysterious to me. He even was able to make the number appear from someone local, so I got a bit freaked out. 

 

Now if he has ur number, if you use any apps such as Tango, Viber, etc... He can still message you or call you, and there is no block option there. So I had to get rid of all of those, but even though its been 7 months from the time I asked him to leave me alone he keeps calling. Now this man is not a 18 year old, he is 30! So I just don't get why he would not get over it quickly. During the past 7 months, I would get very upset, so I would randomly message him and tell him I will tell ur friends and ask them for their help, and he would say ok tell them. I did tell a couple of his friends and family, but nothing changed at all, his friends actually took his side and said someone is out to get u and ruin your reputation!

 

Honestly, I realized he is not giving up, so not talking to him for several months, he messaged me today and I explained to him that it is not right for u to keep calling when I also may be getting married soon. He still did not accept and now I am thinking of changing my number.

 

Now you all are thinking, just change ur number.. but it is not that easy! Firstly, when u have all the numbers of ur friends, coworkers, and family members, it is very difficult to explain to all of them the change in number. What if they ask u why the change of number? Should I lie? Another reason is my parents, they will ask why and become suspicious. 

 

Maybe someone here was one of those stalkers and could possibly give some input as to how they moved on? 

Last night was the first night of Qadr, and I asked God to allow this man to move on, but my prayers were not answered. 

I know I made a mistake, and I am regretful, but if anyone knows any way other than changing number please help. 

 

Thank you

-Thinkernow

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I feel for you, believe me I do. I am surprised no one has replied to this topic for you. It happened to me too, but luckily my stalker was in the same city as I live in. Well, the same town too and it turned out to be. Eh nevermind that. I think you really should change your number, Most people do it when they buy a new phone. If he has been hounding you down for a year now, then it's time for this drastic change. And if they ask why, just say I needed a new pace of change or anything you can think of. Sometimes we have to lie to protect ourselves, It's permissable in that way. Anyway, Best of luck with your current issue. I hope it changes soon. But seriously, do change your number there partner. There's a block option on Viber and Whatsapp by the way. I don't know about tango, I don't use it. It's in the new addition of the viber by the way, You'd have to look for it.

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Salams,

 

Im sorry to read you are being pestered like this, i can imagine it must be quite stressful. The good thing is he is in a different country. Yes if i were you i'd change my number. If anyone asks just say you were having some trouble with the old number and you were advised to change it. If they press you you can just say someone got hold of your number and has been making nuisance calls, which is true. Inshallah once you do that you can put it behind you and not worry about getting another call or text.

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salam

 

either u ignore him,even if it takes so long for him to give up,or if u see no other option around,tell him to bring his parents and come propose to u,and then u and ur family reject him,then he will not have any hope left :) if he is 'clean' with no bad intentions he will come to propose to u,but if he is 'bad' then he will not come and will fnally leave u alone..

 

good luck..

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Changing phone number is your best option. He seems like one of those guys who doesn't take No's.

 

You ever tried to throw your phone out window? Or "drop" your phone in water? And if you value your phone, pull out your sim card and rub a magnet. Save the numbers first on your computer.

After that tell your parents that your phone doesn't work. You didn't lie.

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I have been through something similar, and the best advise I can give to u is to change ur number. I just told my parents that people have given my number to others without my permission and therefore I wanted to change.

Just be sure u have a backup from ur contact list that u can inform about ur new number.

The problem will get solved as long as he dont know the details about where u live etc.

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Dear friends,

 

You guys have made me feel better by giving me more of a push to change my number, but is this really the only option i have? Does anyone advise a certain time limit? Like, wait 1 more month and see what happens? Should I do this immediately? He has been messaging me asking for a picture, and now the calls are more. It seems like me answering his messages has brought him to think I am interested.

 

Changing phone number is your best option. He seems like one of those guys who doesn't take No's.

 

You ever tried to throw your phone out window? Or "drop" your phone in water? And if you value your phone, pull out your sim card and rub a magnet. Save the numbers first on your computer.

After that tell your parents that your phone doesn't work. You didn't lie.

 

Even if the phone is broken or has problems, they can just replace the phone without changing the number.

I just feel like it is so much of a hassle changing my number.

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Change your number. I don't mean to scare you but the internet has its very dangerous uses and he can easily find your Facebook/email etc. from your number/name further exacerbating the situation. You definitely do not want that. Change your number as soon as possible and if anyone asks just tell them you kept getting calls from random numbers on the old one. It won't be a lie. People change their numbers all the time. 

 

I once helped a guy with some exam on another forum, gave him my Skype id but he tracked me all the way to whatsapp and viber, and started calling me every hour or something. It creeped me out - and I'm a guy. Luckily, this guy wasn't really a stalker and he went away after I gave him the tough talk. But believe me, it's not very hard to search people online. I've found a couple of old friends myself by googling. So change your number right now, it's not worth the risk keeping the same number. 

 

BTW, as far as I know, you CAN block numbers on Viber. 

 

(salam)

Edited by Basim Ali
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Dear friends,

 

You guys have made me feel better by giving me more of a push to change my number, but is this really the only option i have? Does anyone advise a certain time limit? Like, wait 1 more month and see what happens? Should I do this immediately? He has been messaging me asking for a picture, and now the calls are more. It seems like me answering his messages has brought him to think I am interested.

 

 

Even if the phone is broken or has problems, they can just replace the phone without changing the number.

I just feel like it is so much of a hassle changing my number.

In my opinion you should change your number asap in case he tries to reach you through other means as brother Bassim mentioned. Asking your picture and then msg/calling you so often is pretty creepy. Also, you have to know that he is 30 years old so he obviously means business (could be a good thing if he is a Momin and finds you a suitable partner but i dont get that vibe based on how you describe it).

It would be better to deal with the short-term hassle right now.

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(salam)

I see people get new numbers all the time and updating their Facebook statuses and no one seems to ask why. Most of them probably just assume that they got a new phone or a new contract or truly don't care at all. You might even learn who you truly need to keep regular contact with via your phone and who you can filter out (a clean up after a long time is good). If someone does ask, just resort to toriya and say you were having some issues with the previous phone number and therefore had to get it changed. You don't need to give anyone a long explanation.

 

Wassalam

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(salam)

I see people get new numbers all the time and updating their Facebook statuses and no one seems to ask why. Most of them probably just assume that they got a new phone or a new contract or truly don't care at all. You might even learn who you truly need to keep regular contact with via your phone and who you can filter out (a clean up after a long time is good). If someone does ask, just resort to toriya and say you were having some issues with the previous phone number and therefore had to get it changed. You don't need to give anyone a long explanation.

 

Wassalam

 

What do I tell my parents? I am not a really good with not being completely honest, so if I know im not saying the entire truth u can tell from my face expression. So you think nothing will ever make him stop??

 

In my opinion you should change your number asap in case he tries to reach you through other means as brother Bassim mentioned. Asking your picture and then msg/calling you so often is pretty creepy. Also, you have to know that he is 30 years old so he obviously means business (could be a good thing if he is a Momin and finds you a suitable partner but i dont get that vibe based on how you describe it).

It would be better to deal with the short-term hassle right now.

 

Same question, what do I tell my parents?

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Change your number. I don't mean to scare you but the internet has its very dangerous uses and he can easily find your Facebook/email etc. from your number/name further exacerbating the situation. You definitely do not want that. Change your number as soon as possible and if anyone asks just tell them you kept getting calls from random numbers on the old one. It won't be a lie. People change their numbers all the time. 

 

I once helped a guy with some exam on another forum, gave him my Skype id but he tracked me all the way to whatsapp and viber, and started calling me every hour or something. It creeped me out - and I'm a guy. Luckily, this guy wasn't really a stalker and he went away after I gave him the tough talk. But believe me, it's not very hard to search people online. I've found a couple of old friends myself by googling. So change your number right now, it's not worth the risk keeping the same number. 

 

BTW, as far as I know, you CAN block numbers on Viber. 

 

(salam)

 

I am just trying to find a way to tell my parents then change my number. Do you think I should just change my number then tell them?

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I am just trying to find a way to tell my parents then change my number. Do you think I should just change my number then tell them?

 

Tell them what I said in my previous post 'I kept getting calls from random numbers'. You are, aren't you? I'm sure they'll not make a hassle about it, you're definitely over-thinking the consequences of changing your number. If they really do make an issue (very unlikely) just explain it all to them. It's nothing embarrassing, nothing you can't tell your parents. They'll be supportive, inshaAllah. They're your parents after all. 

 

(salam)

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Why girls are so soft on perverts, always giving them a second chance, always giving them another month, always thinking he might be right and I'm wrong, or the worst one, "I can fix him after marriage"? Hence girls become victims of intimidation, rapes, molestation so often becuase what they don't understand is, as a rule, you give a man an inch, he will go for a mile.

In your case, every time you pick up his call, every time you talk to him, every time you convince him not to call you, he has his hand down there more likely masturbating while listening to your voice. (Read the books 'inside the mind of a sexual predator'). Sexual predator could be any man, your next door neighbor, your favorite cute teacher, your masjid Molana, your brother's best friend.

Women who create the hell of a fuss on the first wink of his eye, men won't bother them ever again no matter if you are a Pilipino salve and he a Saudi prince. Another reason you need to involve your wali (your dad) and get over it right now.

I'm telling you this man world's secret becuase you all SC woman folks are like a sister to me, women need to respect themselves and demand respect 'without any exceptions' in order for men to respect them.

Edited by Waiting for HIM
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So you think nothing will ever make him stop??

 

sister,why r u so afraid of that guy? u haven't done anything wrong right? i gave u upthere a solution but if ur not the 'james bond' type of girls,LOL,then i suppose u should just change ur number and tell ur parents uve been having calls from strangers and u think ur number's been hacked... :wacko:

but most importantly u must STOP answering his calls and replying to his text msgs,bcuz this gives him bad impression about u plus the hope that u two can be together,and u don't want that to happen,so IGNORE that guy completely...

 

peace..

Edited by Fatima NMA
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Tell your parents that a person is stalking you and then change your number. If the person is so desperate even after 7 months, he might become serious to not call stalk you but live stalk you someday. So in any case, if the situation gets worse, your parents will have to intervene automatically and at that time you will regret that the issue could have been solved more easily had you told your parents in advance.

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you dont need to change your number.

 

you can get your service provider to block all calls from his number, or even block all calls from a country if you feel like it.

 

get a brother or your father to answer any calls from him.

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You could make it simple and stop answering. Everytime you answer you're adding fuel to the fire. Then tell your parents like everyone said up there, you are getting phone calls from random numbers. Or you want a new number that is simpler to memorize. I wouldn't wait even if he stops though, unless you want him to have your phone number.

I've changed my number like twice before, people do it all the time no big deal.

Edited by summer9658
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sister,why r u so afraid of that guy? u haven't done anything wrong right? i gave u upthere a solution but if ur not the 'james bond' type of girls,LOL,then i suppose u should just change ur number and tell ur parents uve been having calls from strangers and u think ur number's been hacked... :wacko:

but most importantly u must STOP answering his calls and replying to his text msgs,bcuz this gives him bad impression about u plus the hope that u two can be together,and u don't want that to happen,so IGNORE that guy completely...

 

peace..

 

I have changed my number! Alhamdulilah, I feel so relaxed now and I feel I can actually move on with my life! My parents did not make a big deal out of it. My dad asked a lot of questions, but I also had been getting calls from colleges and universities.

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