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ASyeda

My Family Objects To Hijab

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Though I don't know exactly how to go about this, I know that hijab is wajib and that I'm not under any/enough danger to not do it. And even not concerning that, I would want to do hijab even if it wasn't wajib.

InshAllah I would like to start hijab before I start this school year, but ideally it would be in front of my parents, and they would know and approve of it, and so would my sisters.

May Allah ta'ala grant them and me the inspiration and courage to do so, Ameen.

 

Thats good. You do anything so long as its with the knowledge of your parents and this goes for all the kids out there.

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The need for hijab among younger kids does not stem from the requirement of Islam, as most important requirements (as staying in the belly of the so called great satan) are neglected, Islam is just an excuse. Its due to the anonymity of the technological society where people's identity are taken from them and are turned into a homogenized consumers. Its honorable and encouraging to see resistance towards this end. Some get tattoos, some dye their hair, some get piercings, some wear certain type of clothing, some rebel and shoplift, etc etc etc. All that is very good so long as its a resistance and does not cost the relationship with ones dearest and nearest ones.

 

As Muslims, globally speaking, we were at the very bottom of the pyramid. Our parents, with their sacrifice and hard work, managed to bring us to the top 5 or 10% of the world. Thats huge achievement. To get a taste of how huge it is imagine that out of 7 billion population of the world our parents brought us to the top 250 million. Can you bring yourself to the top 100 from among this 250 million?.

'Trying to make Allah (j) happy' at the cost of breaking our parents' heart by going behind their back or not listening to them is not right and does not also portray Allah in a good light. Its no way to say thanks to a parents who has provided you this college, this freedom, this awareness, as opposed to having had you married for 5 goats to some perv Mullah or old merchant back home.

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Though I do have to say that Islam isn't an "excuse" for younger kids in the West...maybe for some, but definitely not all. Islam provides a source of peace, solace, and sense in a society that is becoming increasingly misguided. For me, it's the protection I feel while wearing hijab that makes me want to always wear it. It reminds me that Allah ta'ala is always protecting me and that He is with me all the time. It honestly is such a comforting feeling that I don't want to let it go inshAllah. May we all be kept on the straight path iA.

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No Wahdat is right. Hijab does make life easier for me. I am a geek, so I don't have to worry about putting on make up and following latest fashion while going to work. I can also just focus on my work and stay out of any relationship drama that goes on. I don't have to become part of some love triangle, rectangle, octagon or hexagon.. Since we are talking about surviving, hijab helps me to survive since I don't have time or energy to waste on any relationship drama. 

I know that my parents probably had to give up their values or some part of faith to give me all the comforts. When the time comes, i will decide whether to keep my values or feed my children, but girls in college don't have to make that choices. They can do hijab, so I don't understand what's the problem if they do it. If a girl is doing hijab, how is this hurting her parents? What's the relation between these two things? 

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Don't do it behind their backs. It will cause you more stress. What if they want to hang out with you? You're gonna have to makeup excuses. Just wear it, don't listen to what they say. Allah says in the quran to not follow your parents' orders that will keep you away from islam, but don't be rude to them either. Once you wear, it'll be hard on you and on them but they'll get used to it before you know it. I have no idea why you are trying to ask them to wear hijab. If you believe in hijab and feel guilty about not wearing it, then Allah's approval is more important than your parents' approval. Good luck hun.

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No Wahdat is right. Hijab does make life easier for me. I am a geek, so I don't have to worry about putting on make up and following latest fashion while going to work. I can also just focus on my work and stay out of any relationship drama that goes on. I don't have to become part of some love triangle, rectangle, octagon or hexagon.. Since we are talking about surviving, hijab helps me to survive since I don't have time or energy to waste on any relationship drama.

I know that my parents probably had to give up their values or some part of faith to give me all the comforts. When the time comes, i will decide whether to keep my values or feed my children, but girls in college don't have to make that choices. They can do hijab, so I don't understand what's the problem if they do it. If a girl is doing hijab, how is this hurting her parents? What's the relation between these two things?

A daughter doing hijab, in this case, can hurt the parents by a) her possible lack of safety and b) possible cultural stigmas, unfortunately.

Don't do it behind their backs. It will cause you more stress. What if they want to hang out with you? You're gonna have to makeup excuses. Just wear it, don't listen to what they say. Allah says in the quran to not follow your parents' orders that will keep you away from islam, but don't be rude to them either. Once you wear, it'll be hard on you and on them but they'll get used to it before you know it. I have no idea why you are trying to ask them to wear hijab. If you believe in hijab and feel guilty about not wearing it, then Allah's approval is more important than your parents' approval. Good luck hun.

You're right, I shouldn't have directly asked them in the first place. It's my position as their child that made me feel like that was the natural thing to do.

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A daughter doing hijab, in this case, can hurt the parents by a) her possible lack of safety and B) possible cultural stigmas, unfortunately.

You're right, I shouldn't have directly asked them in the first place. It's my position as their child that made me feel like that was the natural thing to do.

Sister, you have heard multiple opinions and you should know by now how you plan on approaching this. Tonight is one of the nights of Qadr, ask Allah (swt) for help and take the step that you believe would make Rab ul alameen happy. As scholars say, if you take one step towards Allah (swt), He takes 10 steps towards you (steps not in literal term).

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I obviously work here. As far as the fixing business goes it wasnt my BIG mouth that claimed to fix things in the US or here in Afghanistan.

 

Lets talk facts shall we?

Is West more Islamic with its naked billboards and sex crazed tvs or is East?

Assuming you say the latter, and assuming that your parents or husband that brought you to the West

Then by that account,  didnt they put West before Islam?

 

Its a simple question with an obvious answer.

 

Its not that I do not agree with them. Its just the fact that those kids who come to West become theoritical muslims to the dot. 'oh you should not listen to your parents and listen to Allah (J).' Well in that case I also tell you to not listen to your parents and listen to Allah (J) and buy yourself a one way ticket to the country you think is the most Islamic.

(salam)

Unfortunately for this discussion, your assumptions are not accuate. But never mind, I think it's very hard to determine which country is the most Islamic as there are a variety of people with various degrees of faith in all countries. Therefore it makes more sense to strengthen your faith and work on your Imaan so that you can be a good Muslim wherever you live not dependent on where you live. 

Wa Salam 

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Then I guess you should have deleted since you have the ability to do so. What was the remark about? About my bad experience in high school? Or about the frustration of many people on this forum due to brats?

 

No, actually it was a positive comment, but I thought it might be inappropriate. 

Basically I wanted to say that I admire your courage for sharing an experience like that.

I'm sure it was hard to do that, to bring up those bad memories again,  but it might give some other sisters encouragement to endure

difficulties, Fe sibilillah. 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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No, actually it was a positive comment, but I thought it might be inappropriate. 

Basically I wanted to say that I admire your courage for sharing an experience like that.

I'm sure it was hard to do that, to bring up those bad memories again,  but it might give some other sisters encouragement to endure

difficulties, Fe sibilillah.

I apologize for jumping to conclusions, it was wrong of me and I have a bad habit of being on the defensive while here. As for the memories they aren't really bad, I'm sure the boys didn't realize the sensitivity of it. The frustrating part was the principal, an adult not acknowledging the seriousness of it. This is the reason I brought it up, not to say the parents of the OP'er are correct, but because I can understand where their fears are coming from. People in small towns, especially in the south are in their own world and often have the same village mentality you will find in so called third world countries.

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