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Ali-F

Is It True If Women Denies Her Husband..he Hit Her

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he isnt asking if men can hit their wife, he is saying if his wife does not want to sexually please him, can the husband hit her for that.... meaning, the wife's body is owned by his husband....

 

How are those different? One is general, one is specific.

 

(wasalam)

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Asalamu alaykum

 

Is it true, that in islam if a man wants sexual acts with his wife, and she deny that, is it true, that he can hit her etc?

 

THIS IS SHOCKING.

Not the first resort and not hitting that accompanies pain. A husband who provides for his wife has the right to be sexually satisfied according to the hadith literature, and a wife refusing to satisfy her husband is considered as 'nushuz'. The remedy for any nushuz according to the Quran is three steps: first to admonish the wife, next to separate beds, and lastly to lightly hit the wife as a last resort - without any injury, scar or even bruise being caused.

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Ahsant.. So it would say, that if the women rejects to do that, he shall admonish her, and separate his bed from the womens bed, and then hit her. The question is then: So if she says NO, he can't hit her?

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Ahsant.. So it would say, that if the women rejects to do that, he shall admonish her, and separate his bed from the womens bed, and then hit her. The question is then: So if she says NO, he can't hit her?

Nope, and certainly not injure or bruise her in anyway (even as a last resort). Its a step by step process, any step she concedes at nullifies any need for the resultant measures; so if she concedes at the point of admonishment, the husband doesn't need to proceed to separating beds at all.

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Nope, and certainly not injure or bruise her in anyway (even as a last resort). Its a step by step process, any step she concedes at nullifies any need for the resultant measures; so if she concedes at the point of admonishment, the husband doesn't need to proceed to separating beds at all.

it is important also to add that any damage to the wife body (as small as turning the skin red or green) is a crime in islam and the husband should pay his wife diyyah.

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Ahsant.. So it would say, that if the women rejects to do that, he shall admonish her, and separate his bed from the womens bed, and then hit her. The question is then: So if she says NO, he can't hit her?

 

Yeah, so it would appear that from the Qur'an and the ahadith of the Masumeen [as] that the "hitting or beating" is done lightly with a miswak (akin to spanking as opposed to actually causing physical harm), provided there isn't a legitimate excuse like if she is ill or something. One of the reasons (perhaps the main reason) for marriage is to regulate sexual behavior in society, so if a woman simply refuses to engage with her husband (who can't fulfill the desire through any other halal means), it doesn't mean he can oppress her but she ought to know that her action is not justified (and that is goes against the fundamental purpose behind their marriage).

 

(wasalam)

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Not the first resort and not hitting that accompanies pain. A husband who provides for his wife has the right to be sexually satisfied according to the hadith literature, and a wife refusing to satisfy her husband is considered as 'nushuz'. The remedy for any nushuz according to the Quran is three steps: first to admonish the wife, next to separate beds, and lastly to lightly hit the wife as a last resort - without any injury, scar or even bruise being caused.

I just have one question...

How is hitting supposed to help intimacy?  How does it help to cement or improve the relationship?  How is it supposed to help a woman want to be with her husband in such an intimate way?  What do you think this makes a woman feel like?  What kind of man takes what he wants and doesn't care how it affects the other person?

Why would God permit or encourage such a thing?  It seems to me that God would encourage a very different sort of thing between a man and a woman.

 

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it

 

Would a man physically punish himself for not fulfilling the needs of the wife... or be endeared to his spouse if she were to physically punish him for not meeting her needs?

 

Ok, it turned into one question, very much expanded. :blush:

 

 

 

Ok , after reading some of the other posts... like what Ibn al Hassan says...

but still...

I don't know... it seems to me this treads a fine line.

Edited by CLynn

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Yes hit her as hard as you can, so the only chance you got evaporates and you sleep on couch and get fed at the local halal eatery :)

Hitting is stage three. Quran says to separate the bed and so on first. On a serious note, the word "wadhrib" translated as 'HIT' is the same word Quran used to "move away" elsewhere. So rather than hitting her, go out of the house and move away for a few hours.

Also from a general akhlaq perspective, never hit a woman for sex, this makes sex less fun and more a rape and no decent man would ever do it.

Edited by Waiting for HIM

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People do know about Muhammad hitting Aisha, hard in the chest when she displeased him once?

 

And what about Aisha's own statement that she has never seen any woman suffering as much as the muslim woman?

 

Did Muhammad 'tap' his wives, or did he hit them?

Did he condone hitting with his own example?

Edited by CLynn

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People do know about Muhammad hitting Aisha, hard in the chest when she displeased him once?

 

And what about Aisha's own statement that she has never seen any woman suffering as much as the muslim woman?

 

Did Muhammad 'tap' his wives, or did he hit them?

Did he condone hitting with his own example?

No he just pushed her on the chest, like he did with his other companions when they were nervous about any divine presence http://www.letmeturnthetables.com/2011/03/muhammad-beat-aisha.html As the article explains, the word used in the narration is 'lahada' which means pushed and the word for 'hit' is 'dharaba' (used in the Quranic verse about admonishing rebellious wives).

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No he just pushed her on the chest, like he did with his other companions when they were nervous about any divine presence http://www.letmeturnthetables.com/2011/03/muhammad-beat-aisha.html As the article explains, the word used in the narration is 'lahada' which means pushed and the word for 'hit' is 'dharaba' (used in the Quranic verse about admonishing rebellious wives).

Greetings Jahangiram,

 

I would be interested to understand exactly what Aisha meant when she said; "and it caused me pain".  Did she mean physical pain?

 

As far as this statement:

“Aisha reported that Allah's Messenger, may Allah bless him, never beat anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, but only, in the case when he had been fighting in the cause of Allah …” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 4296)

 

This to me is like the cases of when a victim makes excuses for their abuser.  It's called rationalizing... i.e., 'he had a good reason for doing it' ... which totally invalidates the fact that harm was done.  It is the victim taking responsibility for the abuse of another towards them.

 

 

The fact that this kind of behavior is permissable according to the quran, is to me, still treading a fine line of individual interpretation.

I can not accept that God condones, much less blesses, such behavior.

Edited by CLynn

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