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In the Name of God بسم الله

For Those Who Are Going To Marry Soon

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  • Veteran Member

The problem here is that people use hadiths like this to justify 40+ year age differences and marry children.  And there is a huge difference between a 22 year old marrying a 62 year old, and a 12 year old marrying a 52 year old!  How much does a 12 year old know about what's going on around her?  How much consent can she realistically give?

 

Also, I don't care if Aisha was married off at 9 or whatever, that is not something we should be doing to our children.  I doubt any of you would realistically give away your daughters hand in marriage at 9 years old!  If you would, then you are either lying or you don't deserve children.

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  • Advanced Member

(salam)

Although we should look to our Aimmah (a.s) as examples, they are infallible and as pointed out regarding the wives of the Prophet (s.w.s) the rules for us are not necessary the same as the rulings for them, a perfect example of this being the number of wives the Prophet (s.w.s) was allowed. There was a different culture in 7th century Arabia and the reasons for marrying in those times especially by our Aimmah (a.s) are likely to be different to our own reasons. Islam is not a discriminatory religion and does not impose rules regarding ages after puberty when it comes to marriage but we need to be able to differentiate between practices promoted by Islam from the practices allowed by Islam. 

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  • Veteran Member

^ Yes, Quran is quite flexible, it allows for different cultures living in different times etc but puts limitations on things also and asks people to use their intellect and be aware of their intentions regarding things like marriage. Allah invites us to raise our standards after giving the limitations.

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  • Advanced Member

I agree with this. I am only talking about cases when people marry out of their own and free choice without being coerced or forced into the marriages. Like Khadijah (a.s) married the Prophet (pbuh). But with how our cultures are these days, a woman 15 years older than her husband will be called unmentionable names by the "nobles" of the society.

True , she will be called names but the guy to well be called a gold digger. The issue her is we see so many cases that show the negative aspect and not positive. Its rare to find a couple like old woman with a young boy last for the long run, he might to be in need of security,passport and money just like some females are in need of it so the go for the old man.

There may be genuine people out their that are happy with old person but I highly doudt a 9 year is happy baby sitting a old man.

Even zawaji al shakuka, when two old people get married seems to have a negative vibe in our cultures. I think old marrying old should be more encourged.

Some posters also need to understand that some girls little ones are suffereing because of old men and its not as gloures as you make it sound. Am not talking about you rishda. And some men make them like slaves under their arm.

Propht muhammed (pbuh) never raped his wifes, and didnt forces them but the same cant be said about some of you. Nine year old girls should not marry old men,its that simple.

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Chocolate :P

Syrian pistachio ice cream, nuff said.

 

Bakdash+Ice+Cream+Parlour+Damascus+Syria

 

 

Prophet SAW married Aisha and the age difference was huge. Enough said.

 

 

Its 2013 for Gods sake enough with the "The Prophet did this" so its okay for the rest. Its sad how you compare the prophet with todays men. 

 

The fact is that many people today, specifically in certain middle eastern countries, use hadiths like this to justify marrying girls 40+ years younger than them. And what are the odds a 15 year old girl wants to marry a 50, 60, or even 70 year old man? This is not good, and we should not encourage such things in our community in any way. I don't care what a hadith from over a 1000 years ago says, women today aren't (and shouldn't be) expected to sit around at home and just take care of children from the time they're 15 till they die, and a 70 year old marrying a little girl isn't doing her any favors.

Of course part of the problem is also with the families that pressure the girls into these type of marriages instead of standing by their side.

 

I couldn't have said it any better. 

 

Edited by ~Rose~
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member

Er, who mentioned paedophila? The question isn't that it is haram, it's simply a ghastly thing to do to a girl.

Since you think it is a good idea, perhaps if you have a daughter or will in the future you can marry her to a really old man. I'm sure she will be very happy about it, which young girl wouldn't be.

Or better still, you yourself could help out an elderly widow by marrying her yourself, after all it's allowed in Sharia.

Why don't you ask your other half about these questions? After all, he did translate half the narrations that the people use for proof to marry young girls here. 

Edited by Al-Afasy
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Why don't you ask your other half about these questions? After all, he did translate half the narrations that the people use for proof to marry young girls here. 

 

 

These narrations, and thousands more on other topics as you already know.  Not my issue though if folks decide to concentrate on such subjects rather than the commendation to eat pears and the question over the tahara of iron.

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