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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Be1a1

Retroactive Jealousy

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salam,

I have been in love with a girl for the past 7 months and got my family involved and planning to go for her hand soon inshallah. A little background on both of us, we both have pretty much everything in common, we have been thru the same problems from a young age till today. We have so much in common its crazy! its like she is the female and version of me and vice versa.

Whats the problem then you may ask? Her past! Although I have a past too, I know I am being a hypocrite but she was with a guy for two years, it angers me! it burns me! I want to get over it because I love this girl but cant. She regrets her past alot and cries over it and is going to Hajj because of her past sins as she always wanted to be a good muslim and yet she failed. Her intention was to get married not to have fun.

Any help or advice apart from leave her would be appreciated.

Thank you

Edited by Naz_

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Devil, not everyone has a past,some of us are clean and clear.

As for you bilal, you have to not think about it,shes with you now and whats done in the past should be left in the past. Think of the postives she doesnt want to play and wants marriage.

Dont think about it, it will kill you if you focus on her past and it might mess up your relationship too. Good luck...

Salams

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salam,

I have been in love with a girl for the past 7 months and got my family involved and planning to go for her hand soon inshallah. A little background on both of us, we both have pretty much everything in common, we have been thru the same problems from a young age till today. We have so much in common its crazy! its like she is the female and version of me and vice versa.

Whats the problem then you may ask? Her past! Although I have a past too, I know I am being a hypocrite but she was with a guy for two years, it angers me! it burns me! I want to get over it because I love this girl but cant. She regrets her past alot and cries over it and is going to Hajj because of her past sins as she always wanted to be a good muslim and yet she failed. Her intention was to get married not to have fun.

Any help or advice apart from leave her would be appreciated.

Thank you

If she hast truly repented, then it is quite wrong of you to judge her or treat her in an ill manner because of past transgressions. Allah is most merciful. Get over it so that you two can start a blissful, halal relationship. Don't complicate matters for yourself.

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Salams,

Your emotions may be quite real, but the reason for them is irrational, as i suspect you realise. Do you think you dont deserve her and fear you will lose her? because what ever youre feeling, it has nothing to do with her past and everything to do with you now and what ever thoughts you are having that youre believing.

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Since her past burns you, angers you and its hard to get over this, you will just have to let it keep burning and angering you but its how you react to the burning that will count. Pray to Allah that as time passes by, you will get used to the burning and angering especially since you believe she is worth it.

(wasalam)

Edited by wayfarer.

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Once upon a time there was a little girl named Kim.Tinkerbell, who was lost in the big open forest. She searched and searched until she saw an opening. Alas, freedom, with a big smile, she ran towards it, a BIG LARGE SIGN appeared in front of her, and it said THIS IS NOT THE WAY. But as the emotions were high, she too read it quickly and carried on running with the biggest smile one could have ever seen and............. FELL down a big hole, shattering every bone and died slowly.

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Once upon a time there was a little girl named Kim.Tinkerbell, who was lost in the big open forest. She searched and searched until she saw an opening. Alas, freedom, with a big smile, she ran towards it, a BIG LARGE SIGN appeared in front of her, and it said THIS IS NOT THE WAY. But as the emotions were high, she too read it quickly and carried on running with the biggest smile one could have ever seen and............. FELL down a big hole, shattering every bone and died slowly.

At least this is what was reported in the papers. In reality she wasnt a little girl, she was a wise old woman and she wasnt in a forest, she was on a mountain and she wasnt trying to get off the mountain, she was trying to climb to the top of the mountain and she didnt run towards a big black hole, she stood and admired the view and then had a picnic under a tree anda splendid time generally before setting off again, enjoying the sunshine as she went.

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salam,

I have been in love with a girl for the past 7 months and got my family involved and planning to go for her hand soon inshallah. A little background on both of us, we both have pretty much everything in common, we have been thru the same problems from a young age till today. We have so much in common its crazy! its like she is the female and version of me and vice versa.

Whats the problem then you may ask? Her past! Although I have a past too, I know I am being a hypocrite but she was with a guy for two years, it angers me! it burns me! I want to get over it because I love this girl but cant. She regrets her past alot and cries over it and is going to Hajj because of her past sins as she always wanted to be a good muslim and yet she failed. Her intention was to get married not to have fun.

Any help or advice apart from leave her would be appreciated.

Thank you

You say you love her??? Let her be; let her go. She is sorrowful and repenting and wants to move on and be a good Muslim. She doesn't need to hear about your pain and your anger which will trigger her sorrow and her heartache for the next 60 years; she is permitted to move on.

Sorry but I am in a bad mood today and just don't have the patience for selfish hypocritical men. But tomorrow isn't looking any better so I answered anyway.

You asked what can be done. You have shown that you already know when you said "apart from leave her". There is no magic wand.

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I thank all of my lovely brothers and sisters on SC for your replies including Maryaam I hope you are feeling better now :) everything you guys have said are right and I have to get over it.

Blessings and peace brothers and sisters.

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Once upon a time there was a little girl named Kim.Tinkerbell, who was lost in the big open forest. She searched and searched until she saw an opening. Alas, freedom, with a big smile, she ran towards it, a BIG LARGE SIGN appeared in front of her, and it said THIS IS NOT THE WAY. But as the emotions were high, she too read it quickly and carried on running with the biggest smile one could have ever seen and............. FELL down a big hole, shattering every bone and died slowly.

 

 

At least this is what was reported in the papers. In reality she wasnt a little girl, she was a wise old woman and she wasnt in a forest, she was on a mountain and she wasnt trying to get off the mountain, she was trying to climb to the top of the mountain and she didnt run towards a big black hole, she stood and admired the view and then had a picnic under a tree anda splendid time generally before setting off again, enjoying the sunshine as she went.

 

 

Made me giggle!

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I thank all of my lovely brothers and sisters on SC for your replies including Maryaam I hope you are feeling better now :) everything you guys have said are right and I have to get over it.

Blessings and peace brothers and sisters.

 

May Allah give you happiness and health for your married life .........

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