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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Mehvish

The Best Way To Break A Guy's Heart

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Hello,

Its been a while since I've posted on this forum, so I thought I'd come back with something fun.

I could do with a little help here because I realised recently that I am not so good in this department.

Hypothetical situation: A guy approaches you for marriage, and he says you are the love of his life. Because you are so vain, you are flattered by just how much he likes you. But lets be serious...for whatever reason, this guy is way in over his head, and he totally isnt for you.

SO - what are the most creative and interesting ways to let a guy know he isn't the one for you? Think about the totally off base marriage proposals from guys who are NOTHING LIKE YOU.

Saying "no" can often be really hard, and for whatever reason sometimes girls just say "yes" to avoid having to say "no".

Do you invite him on a date? Do you call him?...what do you say? Do you turn up at his door? Do you just block him on your phone one day?

So, fire away and be as creative as you can.

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Tell him you're a lesbian...

looooooooooool

i dont think it will help much because thats a invalid excuse because you are muslim :P

hmm i think probably explaining honestly why you think it wont work out, that way he knows and its only fair to him. but like if hes head over heels then i think that love is worth agreeing even if some factors are not 100% like you want them. nothing will be perfect, we just have to take some and let some go. everyone has a list of perfect criteria they want in their husband, so we just have to be reasonable.

classic excuses from girls i have heard

  • i want to wait after i finish studies.......
  • you are too old/young........
  • cant provide for a family.......
  • lack the essence of being a man i.e. being too passive and agrees to everything his parents want without any opinion
  • etc...

on a outrageous note, you can always say you have terminal disease and have 2 weeks to live and thats not enough preparation time for a wedding........... :P

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^i've tried saying all of the above..and no one worked with 'that' guy,it took me 2 years to get rid of him :wacko: ,and that when i decided to ruin his feelings and ego :shaytan: ,i told him i hate him,and i would marry anyone other than him,then he stoped following me :angel:

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^i've tried saying all of the above..and no one worked with 'that' guy,it took me 2 years to get rid of him :wacko: ,and that when i decided to ruin his feelings and ego :shaytan: ,i told him i hate him,and i would marry anyone other than him,then he stoped following me :angel:

Hmm yea some can be a bit persistant, i have given those excuses in formal proposals because they were the truth, and plus i didnt know the guy so it was purely a formal agreement between families.

maybe he loved you a lot and thats why he persisted? hopefully you werent too harsh :P lol? sometimes guys take rejections badly because their ego gets trashed (guys have overinflated egos that makes you want to pop it with a pin so they can be realistic, so frustrating!!)

yea oh well.

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(salam)

The title was misleading as the best way to refuse someone is not by breaking their heart. Of course saying no can be hard and there may be pain involved but it will be worse for him if you execute an excuse and he sees through it. Sometimes it really is easier for everyone to just be honest. Many times when an excuse regarding the situation is made as opposed to the person, it suggests that had that not been a factor, you would have accepted him giving him false hope causing persistence.

One of the most painless ways is to say you're pursuing something in another direction. You only need to elaborate as much as you want to and when it comes to refusing someone it doesn't matter what you say as much as it does how you say it. Over time they will forget the exact words you used but not how they made you feel so if you're sure he isn't right for you, instead of making excuses it might be easier to tell him exactly that in a gentle but firm manner.

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Hi Mehvish :) How are you?

If I was a girl I would tell the guy that my daddy is a racist and would never accept him. If he is Pakistani then I would say my daddy is a self loathing Pakistani :) and imma daddys girl :) so am racist too just not officially hehe.

Exceptions can be made if the guys a looker like the guy in my signature.

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Hmm yea some can be a bit persistant, i have given those excuses in formal proposals because they were the truth, and plus i didnt know the guy so it was purely a formal agreement between families.

maybe he loved you a lot and thats why he persisted? hopefully you werent too harsh :P lol? sometimes guys take rejections badly because their ego gets trashed (guys have overinflated egos that makes you want to pop it with a pin so they can be realistic, so frustrating!!)

yea oh well.

Urgh that is the biggest problem.

Sometimes I'll just make it look like I am the evil, cold-hearted woman just so they can feel better about themselves and allow them to live with themselves.

(salam)

The title was misleading as the best way to refuse someone is not by breaking their heart. Of course saying no can be hard and there may be pain involved but it will be worse for him if you execute an excuse and he sees through it. Sometimes it really is easier for everyone to just be honest. Many times when an excuse regarding the situation is made as opposed to the person, it suggests that had that not been a factor, you would have accepted him giving him false hope causing persistence.

One of the most painless ways is to say you're pursuing something in another direction. You only need to elaborate as much as you want to and when it comes to refusing someone it doesn't matter what you say as much as it does how you say it. Over time they will forget the exact words you used but not how they made you feel so if you're sure he isn't right for you, instead of making excuses it might be easier to tell him exactly that in a gentle but firm manner.

NO. By refusing a guy, you have to know that you WILL be breaking his heart, and you have to live with that fact forever.

But I agree with being as honest as you can. And I absolutely advocate that, and I'm glad you mentioned that. Its very important to be painfully honest. You'd be hurting them more in the long run by lying to them more. But how do you bring it up?

And sometimes being honest isn't enough. Some guys are like "oooh but i can change for youuuu. I will wait the rest of my life for you if i have to for you to change your mind". :dry:

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Seriously though, you women have it all wrong, not all guys take rejection the same way. The best way to do this is simply to deflect, and be like you are busy with studies or just not in the mood to settle right now.

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NO. By refusing a guy, you have to know that you WILL be breaking his heart, and you have to live with that fact forever.

But I agree with being as honest as you can. And I absolutely advocate that, and I'm glad you mentioned that. Its very important to be painfully honest. You'd be hurting them more in the long run by lying to them more. But how do you bring it up?

And sometimes being honest isn't enough. Some guys are like "oooh but i can change for youuuu. I will wait the rest of my life for you if i have to for you to change your mind". :dry:

(salam)

Although you can predict best in regards to your situation, I think its an unfair generalisation that all men will react to a refusal with a broken heart as people behave differently in the face of rejection. In regards to your question about bringing it up,you can go about this in two ways; either indirectly through hinting or in a direct manner. I would encourage the direct approach with an explanation for frankness that you wanted to put a stop to any expectations that he might have. As for him promising to change, more then anything else you need to firmly state that you are not interested and he shouldn't change as there is someone else out there who is compatible for him just the way he is.

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Oh my just tell him your not looking to settle down just yet, it's not him, it's you.....and if he comes back later (most likely he won't) tell him the same thing.

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