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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Ibtihaal

I Want To Get Married

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bismillahir rahmanir rahim

salaamun alaykum..

well.. m 22 yrs old girl who has done hawza studies and i really want to get married.. my parents and other people keep asking me hw cm m still single ?!

i did get many proposals but we rejected them voz they wer not religious.. sm dint pray, sm wer into drugs nd sm wer against the hawza thingy.

well.. plz help me out .. wat shud i do? m a khoja btw frm africa..

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Salamu alaykum sister,

Allah, through history, has tested mans faith. Whether that is physical or mental. A faithful girl like yourself insha Allah, the right man will come with the same qualities and characteristics that you want. You never know, maybe Allah has a great man in the near future. Keep your self as close as possible to Allah SWAT, surely he is the only one who will keep you safe from evil.

Salam

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I have already posted a new thread.

Salam brothers and sisters.

I am a 22 and live in Sweden. I am tired of falling into sin during these 3 years of being a practising muslim, for like 4 months i have delved into zawaj al mutah. There are hadiths and some scholars are agreed upon it is permissible when needed because am very tired of falling into a certain sin these years. I want to make zawaj al mutah because i have a hard time finding a spouse. If theres anyone out there to help please. been patient for 3 years. I need help..

/a lost soul.

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ibtihal,i don't advise you to get married this way! internet is all about lies and lies...u can not trust anyone here.you better choose a spouse from your real proposals that you see face-to-face,and having your parents involved..even if this would take a little bit more time but Allah will reward you eventually trust me :)

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You're asking what should you do yet you're saying :

.. internet is all about lies and lies...u can not trust anyone here.

Really? ...

people keep asking me hw cm m still single ?!

.... sm dint pray, sm wer into drugs nd sm wer against the hawza thingy.

Seriously ....not meeting your Mr. Darcy is likely the least of your problems Billie Jean.

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This reminded me of a hadith from Rasoolallah Muhamad (pbuh)

He said something along the lines that at the end of times it will be extremely difficult to marry, and too easy to divorce, and at Rasoolallah's time, it was easy to marry, and difficult to divorce.

I think everyone is looking for the "best" person, and they themselves deserve no more than their mirrored image. This along with the culture of having to get your post doc before even talking to a girl...

Anyway, I wish you all the best of luck. Inshallah Allah gives you all what you're looking for.

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Salam...

am having the same issue...but in my case, my parents, non-Muslim, think I'm too young (23)...

and I still live with them - cannot move out...

I have a partner to marry as well, but he is Muslim so ofcourse my parents have an issue with him and me.....

what can we do to make the parents agree?

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thank u all .. rlly appreciated :)

plz pray for me .. i hv just got a proposal .. plz pray it shud work out for me .. thnk u :)

Don't build very high expectations and don't look for Mr. Perfect. As long as the guy is religious, a good momin, and is consistent, go for him. As long as the guy is a normal momin, know that people change. He may get even better with time. As long as he has no major defect such as major sins, give him a chance. You can judge eiman, consistency, and person's integrity through some carefully crafted questions and a bit of research into him and his family.

I'm really perplexed when I see so many ppl having hard time to find a spouse while there are so many of Muslims available. Expectations, expectations, expectations.

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I'm really perplexed when I see so many ppl having hard time to find a spouse while there are so many of Muslims available. Expectations, expectations, expectations.

Where exactly is this pool of female species to choose from? It gets even tougher when people turn down because of us being converts. A convert I knew was turn down by a guy's family because she was 'not born a Shia'. Poor lady had a tough time then and she was quite upset, understandably so.

I've been looking for a spouse as well, without much luck...I think I will have to settle for a Sunni :(

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Where exactly is this pool of female species to choose from? It gets even tougher when people turn down because of us being converts. A convert I knew was turn down by a guy's family because she was 'not born a Shia'. Poor lady had a tough time then and she was quite upset, understandably so.

I've been looking for a spouse as well, without much luck...I think I will have to settle for a Sunni :(

:(

Edited by Wind Chimes

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Where exactly is this pool of female species to choose from? It gets even tougher when people turn down because of us being converts. A convert I knew was turn down by a guy's family because she was 'not born a Shia'. Poor lady had a tough time then and she was quite upset, understandably so.

I've been looking for a spouse as well, without much luck...I think I will have to settle for a Sunni :(

Put your case to the Maulana of the Imam Bargah in your city. Insha Allah, you will find a religious spouse.

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Thanks but the thing is, I simply don't trust these websites much. Not saying every profile is a fake but for somebody like me, I'd treat every profile with a lot of skepticism. Personally speaking, I'd brush online matchmaking sites altogether, I prefer the old traditional ways which in my opinion are a bit more foolproof.

Websites are not to find the match, they are to find the prospect. That's it.

Once you have found the prospect, doing research in the person, her/his family, her/his background, all that is that comes after.

Match making websites are good for my one thing, to make two people meet. Use it to connect and don't expect more. All the grunt work of research is done afterwards.

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i agree with u guys .. its nt abt finding mr.perfect .. no1 s perfect in this world including me .. but the thing is tht nowadays guys want a girl tht looks like miss world.. hvng make up, wearing tight jeans nd all tht .. if they see u in chader .. they r like : she s too old fashioned.

or maybe they get married just for the sake of his parents.. but thn they hv girlfriends outside nd mk life miserable for the girl.

its hard to find a religuous guy too ... they lie so much. they lie they pray nd all tht while wen u ask ppl abt them they say the opposite.

mostly guy nd girls too r just muslims by name nt by the way they r. sadly :(

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well .. the thing is nt tht we r finding mr.perfect .. none of us r perfect. but tht doesnt mean tht we tk advantage of tht. like e.g sm guys dnt pray or do stuff tht r against islam nd thn lie abt it. they pretend to be such good human beings while they r not. this is the only thing y its hard to find spouse nowadays. its just nt guys but sm girls r like tht too.

its easy to get married if u r nt religious but if u r , its very hard to find sm1 compatible to u. sm1 who values the religion just like u do or more thn tht.

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