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(bismillah)

(salam) respected brothers and sisters.

I have been testing for some time the psychology of 'rock-paper-scissors'. I'm sure everyone's familiar with this game. rock-paper-scissors-1r0r6th.jpg

I have tested it with family members to be exact, from young to old. The game is simple: You and the other party say that whoever loses will perform x. It gets interesting in the part of problems which we face and which we see as difficult:

  • washing the dishes
  • choosing which program to watch (American or something from home-country)
  • choosing which game to play (Fifa or Halo)
  • where to go on vacation (within the selected budget and likes of both persons, e.g. Spain or Italy)
  • what to eat (when mum cooks and offers choices for example, or which restaurant to choose from)
  • etc.

The choices should be equal so that the person who has the most to lose at that time will still want to play the game. Also, you may want to start with small things and then build it up as to let the parties get used to this form of choice-making.

The results:

  • people are more willing to play when the games of chance are introduced
  • people are risk-seeking (as everyone thinks they'll win)
  • subjects liked the idea of equality, age does not matter (as proven numerous times by elderly uncles and aunts)
  • subjects indeed performed their obligation after loss with a smile on their face

Implications:

It can solve differing problems between brothers/sisters but also between husband and wife or parents and children. The rules are simple, but the psychology of accepting a loss is sometimes difficult for some persons. Therefore, this simple psychological game (or any other similar game for that matter) should be played by fair persons who will accept whatever fate throws at them as the result will remain unknown until you throw your hand in the game.

So, what do you guys think about deciding such matters in this manner? Do you think it will prove helpful in your family circle? What are its flaws? Are the better games around that could help solve family problems?

Remember, the Prophet (pbuh) also chose a form of chance-game (drawing straws i think it was) when he had to choose which wife to bring along with him at some times.

Anyway, thought I'd share this with you, it's a pretty good psychology game once you get used to it. Any feedback on this would be helpful.

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So, what do you guys think about deciding such matters in this manner? Do you think it will prove helpful in your family circle? What are its flaws? Are the better games around that could help solve family problems?

This approach is too arbitrary.

Communication works better. Sit down and talk with the other party. Solves most of the problem.

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What are you, 12?

It was a psychological experiment in a natural setting with real life 'problems' ranging from different ages. Not many people are mature enough to solve problems like adults, and therefore need something more basic like this. Husbands hit their wives when they don't agree, or hit their children when they want to buy something in a store etc. If they leave their choices' solutions to a game of chance, they will basically accept it without further discussion.

Moreover, I proposed this because it is simple to execute and easy to explain. One could as well use a coin to leave the solution up to fate. Moreover, as people misuse istikhara, and use it in the wrong way, this could be used instead. I don't see why proposing an idea for people should be received by such an answer (i.e. saying I'm 12)?

This approach is too arbitrary.

Communication works better. Sit down and talk with the other party. Solves most of the problem.

Yes if the parties are in a stage where mutual respect exists and they can accept that the other parties' solution is equally good. However, most people get angry to why the other party proposes a different solution and will push their way(solution) through. I've seen it happen, and therefore tried some experimenting. This is just very basic, but it solved some of the problems which stopped further augmented argumentation. Also, people do not want to talk about every small problem, but want to move on. If people would sit and talk about every little thing, they would be only talking all day.

Edited by Najib

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I know exactly what field of psychology you should go into:

Freudian

the "id-ego-superego" is exactly the same game as rock-scissors-hand.

Anyone, I believe, who goes into Psychology should have their head examined.

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I know exactly what field of psychology you should go into:

Freudian

the "id-ego-superego" is exactly the same game as rock-scissors-hand.

Anyone, I believe, who goes into Psychology should have their head examined.

I am familiar with Freudian's theory on the id-ego-superego. In Islam we have the same concept under different names, for example the nafs against intelligence, halal vs haram acts etc. Freud doesn't incorporate this into his theory. Moreover, his theory has nothing to do with this game.

Moreover, this little game was just an example and I think people are taking my advise to be playing rock-paper-scissors too seriously and specific. This was not my intention by posting this thread. Rather it was to make people aware of leaving some things to the game of chance and that way form some kind of destiny (e.g. vacation trips).

For example we have the grandfather of the Prophet who promised to sacrifice Abdullah, the father of the Prophet. He was about to do it when all people started to complain and said to leave it up to Allah by offsetting it with sacrificing camels. In the end a 100 camels where sacrificed after doing a game of chance and Abdul Muttalib's vow to sacrifice his son was replaced.

Also, even though I have had marketing-psychology courses, I don't think people should get their head examined. Islam has also Islamic psychology and you can really make good use of it to help people. Our own Prophet (pbuh) used psychology in the highest form and showed us akhlaaq/morals. Anyway, thank you for your post but I was hoping for more input.

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