Jump to content
In the Name of God بسم الله

Humor

Rate this topic


CLynn

Recommended Posts

  • Veteran Member

=\ I'd love to tell you a joke, but i seem to have an unfortunate quirk with the way my brain stores jokes: it only seems to want to remember rude and very un-PC jokes. Its a shame because i'd love to remember all the sweet, pre-watershed type jokes :( ...o wait! Ok... I maybe have one, although you probably wont get it unless youre English. Its kind of racist also, but in a way that is so ridiculous nowadays that im hoping no one will be offended. Its mainly just really silly, which is why it always cracks me up.

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman (o.O) meet in a pub for the 1st time.

'Hello' says the Englishman 'my names George, because i was born on Saint George's Day'

'O Hello' says the Scotsman 'my names Andrew, i was born on Saint Andrews day'. They both turn to the Irishman and said 'Whats your name?' he says:

'Pancake'

:P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member

today the funniest thing on my mind is that its election day for pakistan and everyone is running and being patriot like crazy ............. as if anyone cares about this country

Public: We care, therefore, we vote.

Politician: We don't care, therefore, we are elected.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Public: We care, therefore, we vote.

Politician: We don't care, therefore, we are elected.

its all the same everytime Pakis want to fell in the same ditch again and again.....this time they want to me pushed by a new person

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member
An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman (o.O) meet in a pub for the 1st time.

'Hello' says the Englishman 'my names George, because i was born on Saint George's Day'

'O Hello' says the Scotsman 'my names Andrew, i was born on Saint Andrews day'. They both turn to the Irishman and said 'Whats your name?' he says:

'Pancake'

:P

An Irishman was stopped by police in a sensitive area on a festival day.

Policeman: Are you Catholic or Protestant?

Irishman: I'm an atheist.

Policeman: (thinks confusingly for some time) Are you Catholic Atheist or Protestant Atheist?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

I tend to forget jokes. :(

I just happened to come across that one in a magazine and thought it was worth sharing... to get some smiles. :)

no jobs no money no benefits what have these politicians given us so y do i be a part of this corrupt system

I've heard it said; because if you don't exercise your right to vote, then you've no right to complain about what you get. :mellow:

Now, if we could return to sharing humor and smiles. :)

Edited by CLynn
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Well, it's not a joke but a statement made by my sister when she was tiny. She had just begun to frame some coherent sentences and she said :

There was an old man who died in his childhood.

Obviously, she did not have any sense of time and age. And the innocence with which she spoke, still makes my day. I wish kids never grew up...I love to have them around.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Well, it's not a joke but a statement made by my sister when she was tiny. She had just begun to frame some coherent sentences and she said :

There was an old man who died in his childhood.

Obviously, she did not have any sense of time and age. And the innocence with which she spoke, still makes my day. I wish kids never grew up...I love to have them around.

Out of the mouths of babes... there is probably some truth in that statement... old age is often much like second childhood. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

The other day me and my sister were walking up our driveway and saw an old lady coming out of the house next door. And my sister remarked 'aww I feel sorry for that old lady she doesn't have any children but she does have grandchildren.' :donno: :wacko:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Basic Members

An old man has a car crash and dies, he gets to the pearly gates of heaven and sees the guardian standing by the gate:

Guardian: Hello, are you the old man who has just had a car crash?

Old man: Yes.

Guardian: Right, your file is nearly complete, I just need to ask you a question, if you answer it correctly, you can come into heaven, if not, you will go to hell.

Old man: What's the question?! Ask me! Anything!

Guardian: Please recite one verse from the Quran.

Old man: What?! Is that it?!

Guardian: Yes.

Old man: Any verse?

Guardian: Any verse.

Old man: OK.... bismillahir rahmanir rahim. ghol howallaho ahad.

Guardian: Congratulations, you've made it to heaven! Please sign here...

As the old man was signing the heavenly document, the guardian's telephone rings...

Guardian: Uh oh. Can you do me a favour old man, can you watch the gate while I answer the phone? I'll be back as quick as I can... oh... if anyone comes, just ask them the same question that I asked you and if they answer correctly, let them in.

Old man: OK!

The guardian goes off to answer the phone and the old man, smiling to himself about what had just happened, leans against the pearly gates, thinking about all the great things he's going to do in heaven, suddenly sees someone coming towards him in the distance, he looks a bit closer, and the smile is wiped off his face when he realises that it's his wife!

Old man: Wife! What are you doing here?!

Wife: Well, someone phoned and told me you had had an accident and died, so I had a heart attack and died. Never mind that, is this heaven?

Old man: Yes.

Wife: Have you... have you made it in?

Old man: Yes, everybody has to answer a question, if they answer correctly, you get in!

Wife: Really?! What's the question! Tell me!

Old man: Recite the entire Quran from beginning to end.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member

This one is for people who know Urdu.

Two Pakistanis, a Shia and a Sunni are debating. The Shia says: "Even Quaid-e-Azam was a Shia." and then goes on and says: "The highest military award is called Nishan-e-Haider after our Imam Ali. Do you have anything significant named after your Sheikhein?"

The Sunni thinks and says: "Yes, Umar qayd." (Umar means age in Urdu and Umar qayd means life sentence)

LMFAOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha good one qazi sab

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

The other day me and my sister were walking up our driveway and saw an old lady coming out of the house next door. And my sister remarked 'aww I feel sorry for that old lady she doesn't have any children but she does have grandchildren.' :donno: :wacko:

lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member

I just happened to come across that one in a magazine and thought it was worth sharing... to get some smiles. :)

I've heard it said; because if you don't exercise your right to vote, then you've no right to complain about what you get. :mellow:

Now, if we could return to sharing humor and smiles. :)

i dont support any of these monkey faces if they have the opportunity to make things right and they dont make things right then they r a bunch of monkeys being supported by monkeys...............i have heard it is a saying that " whoever participates in sin in any way is equally responsible" so you people keep on supporting these murderers and they will keep on killing poor people

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...