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Bassem8810

Need Help Please.....

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Hello, my name is Bassem. I am lebanese and I am a Shia Muslim. I have read in the forum for a long time now but this is my first topic. I am 24 years old, Tall, handsome, athletic and smart. I truly believe Allah has blessed me in so many ways and I say L Hamdellah everyday. The reason I come to you for help my brothers is because I am truely stuck in my life. I have been on and off with school for the last 5 years. I want to finish my education, it is a priority for me. There have been so many things in my life that have been a distraction for me that have caused me from not finishing on time. I have a very bad group of friends that influences me to smoke marijuana very often. I know the marijuana is ruining me more and more each day I use it and I dont have the will to stop. I know in my heart and my mind that it is ruining me but I just cannot find the urge to stop. I was born in America and I speak arabic fluently learning since I was a child. I learned how to pray three years ago and there have been times that I pray consistently and I am off marijuana and I feel GREAT... but always I end up right back down the rabbit hole smoking cigarettes and weed everyday after some months have passed. I WANT TO END THIS CRUEL PUNISHMENT I AM DOING TO MYSELF BUT I CANNOT FIND A WAY. My family life has not been the easiest either, I have a older brother that had a very tough life and is in a very difficult position in his life right now, my sister just got a divorce and my mom has been a widow since I was 4 years old. (she raised all three of us after my dad passed) I am the youngest one in the family, and I believe Allah has given me the power to bring my family out of this rut we have been in for so long but I know I have to put marijuana away and also these friends that have influenced me to waste so much of my time. Again, I just dont know how to overcome this. Sometimes its so hard for me to wake up in the morning, like the devil is whispering in my ear "stay asleep". Can someone here help me? When I have prayed in the past, I have asked Allah to keep me away from evil spirits and away from marijuana, but I just always revert to my old ways. I want to finish school and Inshallah become a successful Doctor. I know some people that may read this may think he's a burn out etc, no way he could become a doctor. But I am a realist, and I am confident in myself if that If I removed marijuana from my life that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to.

If there is anyone with great wisdom to please guide me in this most difficult time in my life I would greatly appreciate it, Thank you.

Bassem.

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Do you get withdrawal symptoms if you stop smoking marijuana? You should be able to quit it.

Step 1: See a doctor and explain your habit and what you feel if you try to quit. Run tests or have your blood pressure and levels monitored after getting admitted if you have to.

Step 2: You will learn that quitting marijuana and cigarettes is perfectly safe medically and you will gain all the necessary faith that way for the rest of the process.

Step 3: Take an oath with God and take the plunge. Quit marijuana. You won't die no matter what happens. You can only die if your ordained time is upon you.

Step 4: Bear through it for a month or two. In case of cigarette/nicotine addiction, the withdrawal symptoms disappear within three weeks at most. During this time try to relax and avoid any situation that makes you anxious or irritable. If you feel you're unable to, in fact, it will be a lot better if you get admitted in a rehabilitation clinic for a couple of months. Just commit to it, fix yourself, then take care of all your real life problems. Rehab clinics exist for people like yourself and are guaranteed to work. They have doctors to monitor you 24/7 and they always know just what you need through your stay there.

Problem solved, inshaAllah.

No matter how you do this and if you're going to do this then remember it will take time and patience. Instead of hoping to get answers from this website alone, you should search for and join communities, e.g., yahoo groups of those who quit such habits. They'll help you a lot more.

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Hello, my name is Bassem. I am lebanese and I am a Shia Muslim. I have read in the forum for a long time now but this is my first topic. I am 24 years old, Tall, handsome, athletic and smart. I truly believe Allah has blessed me in so many ways and I say L Hamdellah everyday. The reason I come to you for help my brothers is because I am truely stuck in my life. I have been on and off with school for the last 5 years. I want to finish my education, it is a priority for me. There have been so many things in my life that have been a distraction for me that have caused me from not finishing on time. I have a very bad group of friends that influences me to smoke marijuana very often. I know the marijuana is ruining me more and more each day I use it and I dont have the will to stop. I know in my heart and my mind that it is ruining me but I just cannot find the urge to stop. I was born in America and I speak arabic fluently learning since I was a child. I learned how to pray three years ago and there have been times that I pray consistently and I am off marijuana and I feel GREAT... but always I end up right back down the rabbit hole smoking cigarettes and weed everyday after some months have passed. I WANT TO END THIS CRUEL PUNISHMENT I AM DOING TO MYSELF BUT I CANNOT FIND A WAY. My family life has not been the easiest either, I have a older brother that had a very tough life and is in a very difficult position in his life right now, my sister just got a divorce and my mom has been a widow since I was 4 years old. (she raised all three of us after my dad passed) I am the youngest one in the family, and I believe Allah has given me the power to bring my family out of this rut we have been in for so long but I know I have to put marijuana away and also these friends that have influenced me to waste so much of my time. Again, I just dont know how to overcome this. Sometimes its so hard for me to wake up in the morning, like the devil is whispering in my ear "stay asleep". Can someone here help me? When I have prayed in the past, I have asked Allah to keep me away from evil spirits and away from marijuana, but I just always revert to my old ways. I want to finish school and Inshallah become a successful Doctor. I know some people that may read this may think he's a burn out etc, no way he could become a doctor. But I am a realist, and I am confident in myself if that If I removed marijuana from my life that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to.

If there is anyone with great wisdom to please guide me in this most difficult time in my life I would greatly appreciate it, Thank you.

Bassem.

Welcome to the Shiachat forum brother Bassem ! All i would like to tell you is that realization in Islam is not just an adequate measure (like most people say realization or recognition of the problem is solving it 90% and the remainder is upon your will power) Here it is the paradox. Realization is the biggest challenge (happy realization) and then working towards restoring what you have ruined is an uphill task.

All i can suggest to you is that you make Muslim friends, and ask them to include you in their Dua's !

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Dude, I know where you're comin' from, I've been hooked to all these [and other] demonic traps since my childhood as well. Although now it seems I'm slowly and gradually emerging out of this swamp. Even though I've forgot most of the stuff I did to break free from that cage, try this techniques:

Build resistance one step at a time instead of tryin' to go cold turkey. This is somethin' us addicts are hooked since our childhood, there is no magic potion which we can consume and cure it in a single day. Just like weight lifting, where you build resistance to the weights and then slowly and gradually increase the weights as your muscles adapt, try to quit slowly and gradually. Whenever you crave, don't smoke. Hold on, and busy your mind with something else [something involving, like video games or something]. Keep holding on until let the cessation cease. You build endurance this way. Then slowly increase the time-period you can withstand the craving, like increase it from 1 hour to 2 hours then 4 hours and then 8 hours, and so on. Don't forget to busy your mind so that the ignore the cessation and keep doing the task at hand. Whatever it is, it must be something involving, something absorbing. If you are interested in reading, playing games, being with family, working out, whatever.

Also try CBT techniques, although I've forgot most of what the hell it was, I'll try to [recall and] explain my approach. So, whenever the craving hits, I changed the interpretation of it. I stopped thinking of it "Good God, I MUST SMOKE!" and start thinking of it as "Here we go, Round 2, let's beat the living hell out of the demons within!" with Rocky Balboa back-ground music playing around me [with me being Rocky Balboa and craving being Apollo Creed]. I kid you not. So, it became a trigger for competing the craving rather than obeying it. Now I can't remember exactly, I've forgot most of the stuff.

Also, like Darth Vader suggested, check out a Psyche-nitwit. There is always an underlying reason behind such self-destructive behavior. Although I hated my psyche-nitwit and stopped takin' her seriously from the day one, she did provided me with some valuable insights which I used solve problems on my own. Psyche-nitwit will ferret out unconscious reasons for smokin' and crackin' and rock n' roll etc. by some psycho-analytical question the-hoo-blah techniques. These will prove invaluable, since you can use higher wisdom to clear away those pseudo-motives and reasoning and get a better grip.

Also, clear away the triggers that intensify our need to smoke. When do you mostly smoke? Where do you do? I personally am still a smoker, and I notice coffee and being in company with fellow smoker most intensify my urge to smoke. So I'm tryin' to avoid it.

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There are people starving in the world, while you spend your cash on weed. That cash could feed and educate a family.

Your dream is to save your self, your family. That is a good dream. There is hope.

"have a dream burning in your heart, fight for it endure it, challenge the impossible."

Sucess starts with the small steps. Enjoy progress for its own sake.

Demand more from your self, if it is not good enough, raise your standard, step it up.

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.

Listen to some Tony and Emerson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJwEZ_D3ggo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsXbzVY2ePo&list=LPhsTa2qmpsSo&index=1&feature=plcp

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Hello, my name is Bassem. I am lebanese and I am a Shia Muslim. I have read in the forum for a long time now but this is my first topic. I am 24 years old, Tall, handsome, athletic and smart. I truly believe Allah has blessed me in so many ways and I say L Hamdellah everyday. The reason I come to you for help my brothers is because I am truely stuck in my life. I have been on and off with school for the last 5 years. I want to finish my education, it is a priority for me. There have been so many things in my life that have been a distraction for me that have caused me from not finishing on time. I have a very bad group of friends that influences me to smoke marijuana very often. I know the marijuana is ruining me more and more each day I use it and I dont have the will to stop. I know in my heart and my mind that it is ruining me but I just cannot find the urge to stop. I was born in America and I speak arabic fluently learning since I was a child. I learned how to pray three years ago and there have been times that I pray consistently and I am off marijuana and I feel GREAT... but always I end up right back down the rabbit hole smoking cigarettes and weed everyday after some months have passed. I WANT TO END THIS CRUEL PUNISHMENT I AM DOING TO MYSELF BUT I CANNOT FIND A WAY. My family life has not been the easiest either, I have a older brother that had a very tough life and is in a very difficult position in his life right now, my sister just got a divorce and my mom has been a widow since I was 4 years old. (she raised all three of us after my dad passed) I am the youngest one in the family, and I believe Allah has given me the power to bring my family out of this rut we have been in for so long but I know I have to put marijuana away and also these friends that have influenced me to waste so much of my time. Again, I just dont know how to overcome this. Sometimes its so hard for me to wake up in the morning, like the devil is whispering in my ear "stay asleep". Can someone here help me? When I have prayed in the past, I have asked Allah to keep me away from evil spirits and away from marijuana, but I just always revert to my old ways. I want to finish school and Inshallah become a successful Doctor. I know some people that may read this may think he's a burn out etc, no way he could become a doctor. But I am a realist, and I am confident in myself if that If I removed marijuana from my life that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to.

If there is anyone with great wisdom to please guide me in this most difficult time in my life I would greatly appreciate it, Thank you.

Bassem.

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The most important thing i can think of, after asking Allah to take you by the hand and getting through this:

CUT TIES WITH YOUR FRIENDS WHO SMOKE WEED

ALL OF THEM

Change your mobile number so they can't call you.

I mean literally never associate with them at all again, because in the beginning you will be too weak to say no all the time, and eventually will fall in the trap again before too long. Stay away till you reach a point where you never dream of touching the stuff again. Don't even say goodbye, they will talk you out of it.

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I was once a smoker. I was never a heavy smoker, but i had a psychological addiction for sure. My technique was to gradually reduce and avoid situations where i'd be more likely to smoke. I also looked up what was in ciggerettes and what it does to your body. I experimented a little with weed in my teens, but it gave me headaches and made me feel dreadful (maybe because i have slightly low blood pressure). I'd recommend you look up how long term weed use can affect ppl. It can trigger serious mental illness ( i personally have known 2 ppl who directly link their use of pot to the triggering of schizophrenia and depression).

I think all the things you mentioned are obviously contributing factors to your current distress and all need to be faced to give yourself the best opportunity of finding your mojo again. The marajuana use needs to be tackled head on with a plan for reduction and a determined focus. Write down all the reasons why you want to quit and stick it somewhere youre going to see it often. Also write down why you dont want to quit and investigate those things. ' i need a way to help me relax in the evening' might be one way. Now find a positive and healthy way you could help yourself relax to replace it (meditation techniques might be one example).

Next you have the issue of your 'friends'. I can imagine this will be hard, but if its a contributing factor it must be tackled. There are probably certain times/places/activities where their negative influence is most strong. You must work to reduce these occasions. In time, as you pull away, they will stop chasing you. Making new friendships/associations will help you in the transition between the old life youve had enough of and the one you want to create.

Your family situation is a tough one, because ultimately ppls circumstances have to be changed by the person, but you can help your family members with what ever skills you have. Sometimes just being there to listen is enough - giving your time. It occured to me that maybe you are taking the responsibility of your whole family onto your shoulders because your dad has passed and your older brother is struggling. I can imagine that could be very stressful and if that sounds true, it might be worth asking yourself whether certain stressful concepts like that are fueling your drug addiction. If so, confront these concepts head on also. Is it really true that you need to fix your whole family? Is that really what you should be doing? Is that even possible?

I hope inshAllah you can, step by step, begin to make the positive changes necessary to free yourself from thus chemical crutch that is keeping you from your best self and best connection with Allah.

P.s i hope you'll forgive me any typo's, im on ipods satanic TINY keyboard >.<

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I want to say thank you very much for everyone who replied to this thread. All very good advice and I will keep looking back at this thread for a reminder. I know everyone has their busy day to day lives and its hard to respond sometimes, but I just want to say thank you to the people that took the time to read and reply. I know my life will be better if i put the marijuana away for good and pray like I know deep down inside how I want to. I'm looking deep within me now for this will power, I just dont know why I cant make myself do it immediately.

Ruq- I want to say thank you very much because your post touched me very much. Everything you said was point on, and yes I feel like I have taken on the responsibility for my family. Its so stressful and that is why I probley result to smoking weed atleast once a day.

If you all could do me a huge last favor, please keep me in your Dua, pray for me to quit marijuana and move on with my life they way I know I should have a long time ago. Thank you all again,

Bassem

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I know my life will be better if i put the marijuana away for good and pray like I know deep down inside how I want to. I'm looking deep within me now for this will power, I just dont know why I cant make myself do it immediately.

I don't think will-power is the issue here, perhaps the marijuana is fulfilling some unconscious need or something. I think Ruq have brought that to light. Stress is doing a number on you. People use drugs and other quick fixes to release stress. Watch out [and manage your stress level]. Take in consideration every factor that increase stress level in your life. You've talked about family, that's good. We know one factor. How about your environment? How about your work? Do you overwork? Do you work when you're ill and/or physically and mentally exhausted? Loneliness? What is your diet like? Deficiency or excessive in minerals and stuff like that also cause depression etc. Check out if you suffer from depression and irritability and what-the-hell-ever. How are the conditions of your environment? Also realize that past traumas also cause chronic stress. You have to take into consideration everything, quality of your food, environment, exposure, work, everything. Also avoid caffeine, and avoid every emotional and environmental and physical stressors. Take care. And keep in mind that prolong stress can also lead to serious stress-related diseases.

Oh and I'll keep you in my dua, remember to keep me in your dua too, Bassem. A fellow brother here is fighting the same battle.

Edited by The Exalted One

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