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In the Name of God بسم الله

Bully

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Kids these days are weaklings and I find it heartbreaking. I am always reading stories about a kid blowing his brains out or a girl hanging herself from her ceiling fan because someone started a faceb

Everyone should see this documentary. Here's the trailer: I know that there are many school-aged kids here on the forums, and I'm interested to know about your experiences with bullying - whether it

I was bullied, but I fought back... In eight grade an older girl kept pressing me up against the wall in the hallways. After 3-4 times, I grabbed her collar and pressed her against the wall, went up i

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I've been working in schools for a while now and bullying has always been on our agenda. I deal with many cases and I can honestly say that 90% of bullies are not physically or emotionally abused growing up, they're not inherently 'evil' or spiteful nor are they lacking love and compassion from their parents. It simply comes down to the hormonal changes and emotional imbalance that all teenagers experience, however, difference is that some cope with the changes better then others.. Some become aggressive while others become more secluded and passive. Kids crave power and control and the verification from those around them because they have, consequently, lost control over their bodies. This essentially results in them bullying others to fill a void in their minds, it's all psychological. 

The school I'm working at now, has zero tolerance for bullying of any sort...be it physical, emotional or cyber. We run a program every Friday aimed at having students learn more about themselves and those around them. I've found that this works much better then the usual 'bullying is bad' initiative indoctrinating the minds of students today. We also run community service programs to help students appreciate all the blessings that they have. So far it's working great! But I do agree that more needs to be done to help tackle this worldwide epidemic.

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Actually it's not always the case that a bully feels powerless or is only transferring anger to his victims, the bully I had in high school had a good life at home, and was relatively popular. He was just a pure @sshole, and this is just the case with bullies sometimes; they think it's cool, or okay or whatever to do whatever they want, and they feel bigger when they make others feel small, it doesn't necessarily mean that they themselves are being abused elsewhere.

Edited by LekShuBadak
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^^^As with everything, nothing is one size fits all.

the bully I had in high school had a good life at home,

Never assume what is going on in someone's home unless they live in a glass house and you are standing outside watching all day and night. I've learned that some of the people and families who appear to have it the most together are actually the most dysfunctional and abusive behind closed doors.

Edited by ImAli
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At the Islamic Center??!! What culture do the majority of attendants come from? This is foul beyond words. Time for the family of this boy to correct this problem, beginning with every kid that's ever tried to "pick a fight" with the boy and then moving onto their famalies if necessary.

There is absolutely no excuse for this type of behavior inside an Islamic Center ever under any condition.

well, the center is mainly pakistanis and indians, but the arabs and afghanis do it too. this boy isnt the only one there with a disability. the parents arent in a position to fight back for various reasons, but they try to have other boys talk to their son.

theres no excuse for this type of behavior, period. its disgusting to pick on someone who has such a disadvantage. humans never learn though, we always wanna spit on the people who are "beneath" us.

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Why don't you say something? I would say something if that was my center :shaytan: and I would cause a big stink about it. Bring it to the attention of the higher ups, the sheikh, the sayyed...whoever. It seems like a speech or seminar needs to be given in front of the entire center about this issue and these morons need to be educated. The ones who continue to do this should be ex communicated and sent elsewhere. Please speak up for this boy and bring it to the attention of others.

Absolutely! If change is ever going to occur, there must be an unpleasant breaking point. The longer we remain silent (and inherently complicit) and allow this disgusting behavior to continue unchallenged, the longer it WILL continue. There must be an awkward point in history where the change occurs even if it results in a horde of disgruntled ignoramuses whose pride has been damaged by someone pointing out their foul behavior. An innocent life hangs in the balance and so does the reputation of Islam! How do you think these behaviors will mold and shape the autistic young man's perception of Islam and Muslims? Furthermore, how do you think this reflects on Islam and Muslims, if an outsider were to come one day and witness such? Such passive complacency seems culturally common among certain groups of people. The treatment of the autistic child is abhorrent, there can be no excuses, it must stop, you're only one person and I understand that you may not have support but please at least make an honest attempt. If there are more complex situational factors at work that would make doing so more difficult, please share.

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Many desi parents abuse their own kids and the excuse they use is that they are trying to make them strong. I don't see how they are helping their kids. For most of the kids who go through this abuse, they become a failure in everything, education, career etc. Most of them lose all their moral values and they become bullies themselves. Few kids who have the strength to deal with their parents' abuse come out stronger and they really do extra-ordinary things but the question is what is the intention of parents. Our actions depend upon our intentions and if desi parents's intention is to make their kids stronger, why don't they stop when they see that their abuse is doing more harm than good to their kids. I think that desis never try to defend the person being bullied, because they want to make that person strong OR they are cruel (because they have been through abuse at some point in their life) and they just enjoy the show. I live in the west and yes I had problems when I was in high school but I didn't have many problems during college or at work place. I know that this world is mean and everything but I don't understand why it has to always feel like a jungle. When I am among desis, I really feel like I am in a jungle. When I am with western people, that's the only time I feel I am among humans. I know that kids are really mean in high school in west, but something happens after they go to college. Somehow they become mature and start acting like humans. Unfortunately that never happens with desis and they act like high school kids all their lives. Yes, desis are probably stronger than westerners and they can survive in bad conditions but what about their moral values? Are we supposed to follow the survival of the fittest rule? The person who can survive is the best and deserves to live, his/ her character and moral values don't matter?

Edited by Mokhtar2012
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When I am among desis, I really feel like I am in a jungle. When I am with western people, that's the only time I feel I am among humans. I know that kids are really mean in high school in west, but something happens after they go to college. Somehow they become mature and start acting like humans. Unfortunately that never happens with desis and they act like high school kids all their lives. Yes, desis are probably stronger than westerners and they can survive in bad conditions but what about their moral values?

What a truckload of vitriol...

Seriously. One wonders where you'd picked up this bull. Been reading too much of right wing papers? Or perhaps your desi social circle consists of a few dozens people originally from Punjabi rural backwaters.

I wouldn't put money on any South Asian Indic people being "stronger"; intellectually, physically or otherwise. Cockroaches can also survive in bad conditions, allegedly even a nuclear holocaust... Clearly, you are an intellectual heavyweight amongst those people. My advice - stop mingling with them before you get dragged down to their level.

This caught my eye lol. Consummate and utter bull[Edited Out]...compounded.

This racist rant should ideally get you banned and thrown off the premises of the SC.

Edited by Marbles
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Notice, I never initiated a single word independently but rather responded to Mokhtar's personal thoughts. At any rate, my sincere apologies to you specifically. I am not morally perfect and merely human myself. Sorry, I forgot I was responding to something in a multi-ethnic environment, I'm accustomed to writing in all Afghan communities where this sort of behavior is par for the course. Sorry.

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What a truckload of vitriol...

Seriously. One wonders where you'd picked up this bull. Been reading too much of right wing papers? Or perhaps your desi social circle consists of a few dozens people originally from Punjabi rural backwaters.

This caught my eye lol. Consummate and utter bull[Edited Out]...compounded.

This racist rant should ideally get you banned and thrown off the premises of the SC.

Hear, hear!

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The irony is those people are world renowned for their profound and widespread Uncle Tom syndrome/inferiority complex. They worship the ground Westerners walk on. At any rate, that would depend upon one's personal perspective and definition of "stronger". I wouldn't put money on any South Asian Indic people being "stronger"; intellectually, physically or otherwise. Cockroaches can also survive in bad conditions, allegedly even a nuclear holocaust... Clearly, you are an intellectual heavyweight amongst those people. My advice - stop mingling with them before you get dragged down to their level.

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I will not apologize for hurting any desis' feelings because I know desis are not whining babies like me. I got tired of all desis telling me that I act like a baby and I wanted to tell them that they act like teenagers and teenagers are so annoying. Desis love to tell me how much they dislike me, they don't know that feeling is mutual.

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I studied and lived in a all-girls school--a convent, bullying was subtle but poignant---more in the shape of ostracizing, communication boycott, leaving behind and isolating;---there I learnt the pride and pleasure of being an outcast --by the age of 13 , I started living with nuns in their staff-house, instead of girls hostel---things became much more serene and calm, islolated walk around the campus turned into a solitary journey within myself---

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